Lord of the Rings Fanatics Plaza

Dear everyone - thank you for your participation so far and your wonderful nominations! @A Good Wife Nessa, @Fuin Elda and I have enjoyed reading each and every one of them and have been organising them for your voting pleasure.

How will this work? I hear you cry
Below, I will list all the nominations, a link to the original post, and a pithy quotation! We encourage you to read the posts carefully and make your choice.

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CATEGORIES
Best Comedic Post: this post
Best GM
Best Opening Post
Best Canon Character
Best Game
Best small collab
Best dramatic post
Best Original Poem
Best Original Art
Best Lore Post
Best Character
Best Roleplayer
Best RPG

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You will choose the BEST COMEDIC POST by voting in the following Google Poll. The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented below (no particular order, just how we read the emails as the nominations came in!)

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Here let me present the following Best Comedic Posts:

Welcome to the voting for the best comedic post of 2020! Each of the potential nominations will be listed below, with a little sample to help you choose & a link to the thread where the hilarity may be found.

1. @Tarawen in the Thief Hunt

“Now, he just needed to decide when to jump out at Fleeg and scream "GOTCHA, YOU OVERGROWN TOE FUNGUS!!!!" Perhaps when Ducky showed up, flanked by his usual entourage of wizardly mallards and such. Who knew?”

2. @Annúnfalas in Eriador Mail Service .

“I’m afraid the tree responsible for failing to guide you in the recent maze in Imladris, is not part of a ship’s hull but is instead a small birdhouse hanging from a fruit tree in my garden.”

3. @Call of Cthulhu Frost with Fleeg in the Fishing Game

“Two frogs, two bundles of weeds. This was not going to do. Not at all! Fleeg wasn’t a vegan! He was not a masseur; he wasn’t going to wrap people up in… wait a second. That’s not a bad idea! Fleeg took out a soggy notebook with a few illegible sheaves of parchment attached from his jacket pocket, fished around until he found a piece of coal, then scribbled “Mordor Massage Parlor” on it then stuffed the notebook and charcoal back inside.”

4. @Call of Cthulhu Frost with Fleeg in The Black Market

“" “Stupid drone, you’re in horny jail because you keep trying to jump the queen.” He brushed himself off and picked up the bottle again. Thank the dark powers it was still whole. With great agility, for a goblin, he whirled the bottle around his head and let it fly. The bottle, grey and unmarked, flew majestically through the air for a half a second before it crashed into the wooden frame, shattering instantly. The entire tent was suddenly suffused with the wonderfully foul odor of fermenting mushrooms."


5. @Burnt Toast is sus in the Green Dragon Inn

“He turned his gaze back on the hobbit, as his drink arrived, and he took a large gulp. "WELL THEN?" he thundered, waggling his eyebrows impressively. The louder and more obtrusive he was, Toast figured, the less suspicious they would deem him. Probably.”

6. @Lirimaer as Henna Took in the Green Dragon

“With a maidenly shriek, Henna leapt up, arms flailing, and tried to get away from being interfered with. "Gaaiiiii!" She cried, alerting the Bounders on the Shire's borders. "What are you doing?! Master Dwim git away from me ankles! I'll have none o' your sauce, young man - I remember when you used to run about in your birthday suit and your mama despaired of ever making a gentlehobbit of ye! Don't be going back to your wild ways now!"”

7. @Aduchil as the White Flame in the Spring Ball

““Let us dance.” He meant, of course, let us duel to the death while causing massive property damage. Only too late did he realise he was in a ballroom, and his invitation could be misconstrued as enticement for actual dancing – also involving feet and movement, but fewer daggers. Vexing, but he had none to blame but himself. He was an Elf of his word, whether it was taking a lady for a twirl or using only a teaspoon to dig a tunnel underneath the Anduin allowing for the easy smuggling of Dorwinion wine in avoidance of Thranduil’s draconian tariffs.”

8. Sil @Goostradamus as A Horrible Goose in the Dog Contest

“He was almost at the top when one of the spider bros tickled his face. Goose whipped his long neck round. Shire Honking potatoes! This was an unexpected and unwelcome turn of events.
Goose had absolutely no wish to be roasted for dinner by a horde of orcs, even though he had every belief that, in his marshmallow coating, he would be incredibly delicious and a culinary experience they would Never forget. Something would have to be done.”

9. @MEOW Aerlinn and Yavie sabotaging accidentally on purpose in the Cooking Contest
“Unnoticed to all, that same wildly wagging tail knocked against a pepper grinder, which rolled down the table into a precariously balanced ladle, that skittered into a bottle of Elrond's Best Super Extra Tremendously Hot Chili Oil, that tottered and tipped over ever so precisely onto Arphen's yakisoba.”

10. @Menolly is Cutiepants Cuddlebuns Von Fluffykins in the Dog Show

“"Good day. I am submitting myself for entrance into this competition, which I will invariably win. My human over there," he gestured with a jerk of his head to BooBoo, "will be only too ready to boo the competition should they attempt to overshadow my glory. My name is Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins. You may address me as Cutiepants." Too late he realized he was meant to be a dog, the cursed stupid creatures. "Um...woof," he added as convincingly as he could manage.”

11. @Shivased vs Spider in the Dragon Room

“In the span of a heartbeat Shivased went from lounging in her seat with her foot on the stool to standing on the chair, sword drawn. Her tankard she hurtled across the room, nearly hitting a few Cavalry members, in her sudden panic, as if it would somehow get rid of the offending creature. All the colour had drained from her face and her eyes were wide. SPIDER! IN BEMA'S NAME, KILL IT! she screeched, pointing her sword in it's direction. SOMEONE KILL IT! DON'T JUST STARE, GET THE DAMNED THING BEFORE IT DISAPPEARS!”

12. @Lailyn as Hathaldir in the Tower Guard

“Augh! Hathaldir cringed as a hailstorm of the woman’s spit sprayed him right in the face. How undignified and disgusting! Who knew what pox lurked in her spluttering drool…he might have to visit the Houses of Healing now in search of some cleansing anti-Head Laundress elixir. Hathaldir had spent the best years of his youth fighting orcs and enemies, trudging about the wilderness through mud and muck and spending long cold nights sleeplessly and for what?”

13. @Allacan ob Burzum as Arod The Poopy

“His rump reversed into Éomund even as the young man was interrogating it, and once clear of the shop entry-way the tail lifted up as though it were going to attempt to answer the young man. And answer it did, in a manner of speaking, as Arod deposited a large pile of fresh manure just outside tahe butcher's as though it were a last hurrah”

14. @Amhran faces off with a badger

“Landan, you coward, get back here!"
The badger hunkered down precisely out of the reach of arm plus sword and chewed at the shoe. Amhran tried, and failed, to lever herself up and out of the hole. So there she is, for now, facing off with a badger, and at an utter disadvantage.
"Crap."

15. @Boromir88 as Globuk tries warg training

“One time Burghash told him "If this was war time, Globuk, you would make excellent warg fodder. The only reason I haven't killed you yet is you don't have the wits to disobey my orders." He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but he understood enough to think that Burghash believed some orcs were too intelligent for their own good. So, at least he did not have to worry about that.”

16. @Drifa advertises dwarf mail (Credit also to original writers Frito Bandito and Amaris lion - thanks Drifa!)

“*New!* Thanks to the growth steroids that we have been feeding our badgers, you can now send letters to dwarves and friends abroard, on vacation, or in federal prison. The badgers may live significantly shorter lives, but they will deliver your mail faster and over greater distances!”

17. @Nia as Square the punny nut hunting Squirrel

“However, just as she was about to turn to another victim instead, she heard Papa Squirrel's famous last words: "No, pine, no gain". And with that, he had climbed to the top of the highest pine tree in the forest, and disappeared, never to be seen again. He couldn't have fallen to his death, because Mama Squirrel was always clear that she would cashew if you ever fell.”

18. Sil @Goostradamus models a onesie with patented bum flap for Mx Meduseld

“They unfurled their usual essay, which nobody wanted to hear about but which Silendris was going to subject them all to anyway. A long and dull lecture about something was exactly what everyone needed in the afternoon.
“When we were thinking about an outfit that would properly represent... dramatic pause..: Rohan,” they began, flinging an arm outstretched to the sky, “we thought, what does the average Rohirric person need?”

19. @Burnt Toast is sus. And stinky.

“Stepping out of the cupboard, forgetting he was half changed out of his disguise, beard partially on, ginger tufts sticking out, and patchwork cloak now dragging behind him, Toast announced loudly to the kitchen, "All right, which one of you pulled the ol' switcheroo on Toasty here, eh? Have you seen anyone suspicious lately?" he peered at all of them, not considering how suspicious he himself looked.”

20. More Fishing Fun with Frost @Call of Cthulhu as Fleeg

“He looked at the bait and pondered his strategy for a moment. There was a toad. In Fleeg’s mind, all toads were the toad of consistency, and the toad of consistency was Reg’s lawyer. He licked the toad and put it on the line. As some guy said once, “Kill all the Lawyers.””

21. @Aduchil gets patted down for contraband drugs at the Cooking Contest

“The Elf looked at Artanis addressing him. A Mirkwood Elf, he would wager, by the scent of birch trees with a faint fragrance of roasted spider leg. As she made her demands, a flurry of expressions crossed his face. Fury at being singled out. Flattery at being singled out. Consternation that he would deprived of his emergency spice rack. Acceptance that it was the only way to make this competition fair. "Very well," he huffed. "Do what you must. My body is ready." He spread his legs and extended his arms, closing his eyes. Let the kitchen police find what they may. A true culinary anarchist, he would never be cowed.”

Thank you! And CONGRATULATIONS to all our fine nominees! You made us giggle A LOT.

Questions & comments below or feel free to message/email us

This is an amazing list. Is there a deadline for voting?

We are going to let it run until say about 4/5 days after we get the last category finished and up.

Tarawen wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:12 pm This is an amazing list.

No, it isn't!! It's a horrible list! How the hell are we meant to choose??

Winddancer wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 11:26 pm

Tarawen wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:12 pm This is an amazing list.

No, it isn't!! It's a horrible list! How the hell are we meant to choose??

Okay I see your point, I'm with you on the indecision

Thank you for clarifying timeline, O Glorious Goose

Winddancer wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 11:26 pm

Tarawen wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:12 pm This is an amazing list.

No, it isn't!! It's a horrible list! How the hell are we meant to choose??

Did you think this would be easy preciousssss? We shall make you suffer and tear your hair out like in the right and honourable tradition of a proper Greek tragedy because we're evil geniuses

I made a choice, then second guessed that choice, then reaffirmed, the third guessed, fourth guessed, I'm about to start fifth guessing my vote now. Seriously the collating of all this nonsensical hilarity is a treat I would have never imaged possible. Everyone who wrote an entry is a genius and the triumvirate are geniuses for being able to organize it all

A Good Wife wrote: ↑Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:08 pm

Winddancer wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 11:26 pm

Tarawen wrote: ↑Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:12 pm This is an amazing list.

No, it isn't!! It's a horrible list! How the hell are we meant to choose??

Did you think this would be easy preciousssss? We shall make you suffer and tear your hair out like in the right and honourable tradition of a proper Greek tragedy because we're evil geniuses

Yea, well I dont like it..

Everyone is hilarious and it was impossible to choose (which is a good thing) but I forced myself to do it.

Winddancer wrote: ↑Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:58 pmYea, well I dont like it..

Ha! Tough shire Dragon! *hauls buckets of water and sand in case dragon fire*

BTW I am shooketh and amazed and quite frankly slightly appalled that nobody is running a bookie operation, running odds and placing bets on this category! Must I do everything myself *places her hand on her forehead dramatically, theatrical sigh*

The Triumvirate (@Goostradamus @Fuin Elda and your humble chronicler) is formally opening the voting phase for the Best GM category and proudly presents the nominees for the Best GM of 2020!


As stated in the previous post, you will choose by voting in the following Google Poll (courtesy of the Magnificent Goose, because while your chronicler chan chronicle, she cannot do multiple choice anything ). The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented. They are listed below in alphabetical order because your chronicler likes order from chaos and links to the threads are provided.


Without further ado let’s see who are the people who run a tight shipwreck, keep the peace, bring order from chaos, make sure all those rubber ducks are afloat… You get the picture...

1. @Allacan ob Burzum for Edoras Burnt – Firefighting RPG
2. @Annúnfalas for Lindon Masquerade – Spring Ball.
3. @Moriel for DIE: Orodruin Obfuscation
4. @Goostradamus Sil (the Goose) with WHERE are my NUTS?!
5. @Tharmáras for Ages of Arda IV: Mantle of Darkness


Thank you all for nominating these lovely folks who work very hard to keep us all entertained! *insert are you entertained.gif* And congratulations to all those nominated!





And remember you can only vote for one person so think long and hard and if you need to wail and cry, the Kleenex box is on the table and the powder room is down the hall, on the right for the ladies, and left for the gentlemen, and dead center for nonbinary.

The Triumvirate (@Goostradamus @Fuin Elda and your humble chronicler) would like to formally invite you to cast your votes for the Best Opening post of 2020! You know, the one that made you go: “Ooooh! This is so much fun, let’s see which one of my XYZ number of characters can play here?”. The nominees are listed in alphabetical order (as we mentioned, this medieval chronicler likes order and indexes ), link(s) and an extract from each post are provided to help you choose (or make you cry and tear your hair in frustration, whatever floats your floating animals/vehicles/thingamabobs).

As stated in the previous post(s), you will choose by voting in the following Google Poll (courtesy of the Magnificent Goose, because while your chronicler chan chronicle, she cannot do multiple choice anything ). The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented.

1. @Annúnfalas for Lindon Masquerade – Spring Ball.

“Night has fallen upon the streets of Mithlond, and Elbereth's stars glimmer across a moonlit sky. Magnificence, rivaled only by the iridescent lantern that is the manor of Lord Círdan the Shipwright. For many a resident and guest of the coastland realm has gathered for an evening of special magnificence, merriment, disguise, and exquisite mystery. (...) Those who attend the masque are sure to enjoy themselves and experience all the thrills a night like this can offer. After all, such occasions in the Grey Havens don’t happen often, and in an event such as this… anything can happen.”

{Dear reader, a lot has happened here… And by a lot I mean y’all gonna need a lot of popcorn for this! }

2. @Drifa & co. (Frito Bandito & Narsilion) for The Dwarven Express (Post Office).

“Fast, cheap, and efficient, the Dwarven Express is the only way to go. (…) Thanks to our team of legal experts, you may no longer sue the Dwarven Express for: lost, stolen, or damaged mail, looted boxes or packages, gross incompetence or negligence, emotional abuse, poor service, opened and censored mail, whiplash.”

{Dear reader, always make sure to consult Marcus Tullius Cicero before embarking on any business venture. Potential lawsuits are an expensive headache. Douze points for foresight from Nessa.}

3. @Dwim for Oogie Boogie's Wheel of Fun

“When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shakin'
There's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song”
“Uh oh! You've fallen into Oogie Boogie's lair! He's a gamblin' Boogie Man, although he don't play fair. Beating him in a game of chance is the only way you're escaping there! (…) The wheel is fun for Oogie Boogie, not you.”

{Dear reader, it’s all fun and games until you face the Wheel of Fun and the last person laughing ain’t you.}

4. @Dwim for The Periannath Walking Club – Journey to Woody End

“Hobbits are a plain, quiet folk who generally consider adventures to be “disturbing, uncomfortable” things which make one late for dinner. Despite this opinion, however, some hobbits and their friends were indeed swept off in adventures and some even went out looking for it for themselves! We've all heard the tales of the great adventures of Bilbo and Frodo. But even among more respectable Shirefolk, there was a group of hobbits and friends who enjoyed small adventures of their own, and they were known as The Periannath Walking Club.”

{Dear reader, it’s no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.}

5. @Fuin Elda for Buccaneers of Belfalas II

“The two sat quietly, kept in the dungeon of the Prince's Castle, it's white walls a shining beacon to those outside the grim lodgings of Eliad Belegaur and Mylien Silant, the Captain and the First Mate of the Suleramar, the ship given to Eliad by it's former captain and the father figure of Mylien. The two sat in grim silence. They had been informed on yesterdays eve that this would be the morning they paid the price of treason as the Admiral put it. What treason they had committed was truly questionable (...) and then they put the noose around her neck too, their crimes would be read and then they would fall, at least that was Admiral Vacryn's plan."

{Dear reader, in the interest of full transparency your chronicler must confess that she is a stakeholder in this delightful sea venture. And that she is obsessed with maritime history. However! Bring me that horizon! *Alexa play The Parsons’s Farewell by Bear McCreary!*}

6. @Lailfileg for Misty Mountains Free RP

“Who knows what you might find if you venture to the Misty Mountains, known to the Elves as Hithaeglir. Many folk have dwelt here over time: the dwarves of Khazad-dûm, goblins and orcs and Nameless Things in the deep darkness and Eagles patrolling the skies above. Wolves may howl in the night and prowl by day beneath murders of crebain out to spy.”

{Dear reader, Lail made the map for this thread herself! <3 Because she was “very unsatisfied with available Misty Mountain map.” Now that’s dedication folks! Douze points for art, dedication and attention to details from Nessa.}

7. @Moriel for Angmar: The Northern Lands

“Damrod’s sudden death during a banquet at the keep in Carn Dûm left the path to her ascendancy clear, and with brutal efficiency eliminated all opposition (…) Having massacred a band of rangers, the Flight of Ravens, and taken its leader’s cloak and mysterious powers over the corvidae for herself, the Delgaran made a message of their bodies: each marked with her sigil, three crimson claw scores, they were piled and burned near Osdolen. (…) Her presence and power thus established, Amarthel Delgaran rules Angmar now as Queen of Iron, building its forces, harassing the free peoples of the north, and awaiting the next major calamity…”

{Dear reader, GRRM could learn a thing or two from our dearest Moriel Isn’t this just a delightful and delicious OP that makes you wanna jump in and do a Red Wedding? No? Well alright then, horses for courses I guess }

8. @Oro for The Clans of Khazad-Dum

“And the line of Dain prospered, and the wealth and renown of the kingship was renewed, until there arose again for the last time an heir of that House that bore the name of Durin, and he returned to Moria; and there was light again in deep places, and the ringing of hammers and the harping of harps. (...) The Dwarves that returned to Moria and retook the halls with the last heir of Durin created 7 clans, one for each of the Dwarven Clans of old. These clans run the day to day business of the kingdom.”

{Dear reader, if you ever wanted to experience a day in a life of a dwarf well you can, don’t know what’s stopping you…}

9. @Oro & co. (credits to the original ERC creators) for Rangers (RPG) Chapter 1: A Growing Threat

“Rumors of the coming changes to the military have left many nervous and worried about their future. Messengers arrive at military camps and headquarters across the country delivering missives and handing out orders. (...) King Aragon II Ellesar has heard the cries of the people of the Reunited Kingdoms of Arnor and Gondor. He sees both the need for a defensive military force and for the citizens that make up the armies of the Reunited Kingdom to return home. It is uneconomical for the people of the realm to maintain a fighting force as large and multitudinous as has been supported these last few years.”

{Dear reader, finally someone somewhere heard the cry of this medieval historian and mentioned that armies cost money! Praise be! The coffers and the treasury are grateful! Sadly our King doesn’t mention what kind of tax reform awaits us in this missive, but I suppose taxes are not military matters… Douze points for economics from Nessa.}

10. @Goostradamus Sil (the Goose) for PROTETCS MY NUTS! {Yes in all caps, she's honking}

“It’s a lovely day in Fangorn, and you are still a deranged squirrel. (Or other woodland resident.)”

{Dear reader, that’s it. That’s the extract. Douze points for creative brilliance in one sentence from Nessa. I mean do you need anything else to make you join this deranged, but extremely hilarious fun frolic in autumnal Fangorn of old? What do you mean you need more details? Honestly, children these days… Now during the War I mean conflict between the forces of Sauron and the combined forces of the Free peoples of Middle-Earth…}

11. @Tharmáras for Ages of Arda IV: Mantle of Darkness

“The peace of Beleriand does not last forever. In the mid-winter of FA 455, Morgoth unleashes a brutal strike, belches poisonous fumes from Ered Engrin, and creates a blazing inferno which devastates Beleriand. The power of Elvendom is shattered and the might of Mankind is weakened!”

{Dear reader, if you thought the Masquerade in Lindon was popcorn material, you need to make more popcorn. ‘s all I’m sayin’. And yes there was mention of some sort of peacetime in the OP, something about mortals and elves living in peace… Your chronicler decided to ignore that and get to the What is best in life thing! Oh, come now, like you’re surprised! Honestly! }

12. @Winddancer & co. (credits to Naith) for City of Umbar – The Haven

“Times have changed. Umbar was ever a hotbed of political rivalry, but as Sauron unveiled himself in 2951 of the Third Age the haven gave it's allegiance, throwing down the monument of Ar-Pharazon that had long stood on the highest hill of the haven, around which the city sprawled. (...) The influence of the underworld figures in service to Sauron spreads, the Shadow hangs over the streets themselves, and all manner of rumours flow endlessly throughout the bay. Tread warily, for dark figures skulk in the shadows, servants of Sauron conscript dissenters, and mean-spirited Corsairs are well renowned as slavers!

{Dear reader, the fact that Umbar had a statue of Ar-Pharazon is just poor taste… However, they do redeem themselves with the seedy underworld part. }

13. @Winddancer & co. (credits to Tzu, Moriel and Naith) for The Shadows

“The Dark Spire of Durthang Castle is an ash shrouded mystery, under beleaguered skies, its malignant presence spearing into the eternal night over which it presides. Within is rumoured to exist a clandestine order of the Shadow. It is said that brazen witchfires burn in the heights from arrow-slit windows that flash with strange and eldritch energies. (…) The clandestine order of the Shadows is comprised of sorcerers, spies and assassins. Enter Durthang Castle and approach the Dark Spire at your peril or face certain death at the hands of those within…”

{Dear reader, this description is chef’s kiss of eerie perfection. Douze points from Nessa for the creepy factor!}

Thank you all for your nominations and congratulations to all the nominees! I shall leave you all to your pain and suffering while you tear your hair out thinking which of these brilliant OP you should vote for! :-*

And remember you can only vote for one OP so think long and hard and if you need to wail and cry, the Kleenex box is on the table and the powder room is down the hall, on the right for the ladies, and left for the gentlemen, and dead centre for nonbinary.

Oh this looks thrilling and fantastic...looks like I've been able to come back at a good time. A lot of catching up, but plenty for me to read and get voting on :D

The Triumvirate {diversion: it just dawned on me that the vir part this word means man… I am no man. With that being said this was, obviously, a total clusterfraking oversight on my part, you can see why I’m the Lepidus here… Moving on} would like to formally invite you to cast your votes for one of the most difficult category to judge in your chronicler’s humble opinion: Best Canon Character of 2020!

Luckily the Marcus Aemilius Lepidus [the forgettable 3rd guy of the 2nd Triumvirate, there spared you the dreaded Google search. @Goostradamus is obviously Augustus, she honked herself to the head of the Empire and that leaves Marcus Antonius (Cleopatra included) to @Fuin Elda … Some people get all the luck ] of this Triumvirate didn’t actually have to judge much. The nominees are listed in alphabetical order (as we mentioned, this medieval chronicler likes order and indexes ), link(s) and an extract from each post is provided to help you choose (or make you want to stab Gaius Julius Caesar in the back multiple times, the Ides of March are upon us I’m not judging, just chronicling history here! )

As stated in the opening post of this thread, you will choose by voting in the following Google Poll [again courtesy of the Magnificent Goose (you see why she is Augustus here), because your chronicler is Marcus Aemilius Lepidus and cannot do multiple choice anything ]. The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented.

1. @Boromir88 as Ted Sandyman.

“Ted was in the mood today to make Baggins' gardener look especially foolish, as he did most days. (...) “I give you Farmer Maggot is a queer hobbit, but no one can grow a rudely shaped potato, on purpose and that's a fact. Potatoes grow as they grow. They can't have rude shapes no more than they can have civil looking shapes. What you saw was a potato, maybe a little larger or more spots than others, but still shaped like a potato.” Ted felt he won the argument and went back to his drink.”

{Dear reader, like it or not Ted’s got a point here. Don’t you just hate it when the annoying characters are right? Douze points from Nessa for having a point. }

2. @Ercassie as Thingol.

“But I say to you that our thought ought be of life. Of glad preservation in the face of cruel annihilation. Let survival be our standard, and existence be our sword. For by living our lives do we the most harm to our foe. I will hurl no light of Elvendom at the wall of Thangorodrim. I will see no fair thing diminish. For here we can abide in endless incandescense.”

{Dear reader, there is a lot of lyrical prose here that I like very much and it fits Thingol to a T. However, the skill with which Cassie says the best revenge is to outlive your enemy and piss on his grave gets Douze points for creative use of language from Nessa. Shame he didn’t keep this attitude when his daughter brought her fiance home, tolerance seams to defenestrate itself? when an adult elf maid brings home a man... But I guess you can’t have everything in life }

3. @Call of Cthulhu (Frost) as Sauron

“The armor was a piece of master workmanship, black as onyx, absorbing light like a hungry shadow, resistant to the fires of the balrogs and the drakes, and woven with spells of blackest night. He had worked long on this armor. Even as his master was bound in the west, he hammered at the bellows, shaping the metal, beating out the impurities, and hardening it with his black song. (...) Finally, he came to the lowest chamber, the place where once he held court. He came now as mere servant. The feeling rankled him.”

{Dear reader, I absolutely love how Frost managed to convey Sauron’s love for his craft, something we as readers don’t often connect with Sauron. And later on in the text Sauron’s commentary on his Morgoth is just spot on with Sauron. Another round of Douze points from Nessa for highlighting an oft-overlooked thing.}

4. @Call of Cthulhu (Frost) as Ulfang

“The sun was nearly blotted from the sky, carrion birds, a celestial cacophony of raucous hunger, rose and seethed like a living cloud. One of them, larger and bolder than the rest, landed and perched itself on Ulfang’s shoulder. He didn’t bother shooing it away. Its beak was red and slick with gore, orc entrails, still steaming, hung from his wings. (…) One cold winter morning, but a few years ago now, Ulfang had gotten the idea to build a forest around an enemy encampment, a forest of impaled prisoners that stretched for miles all around. It had been one of his cruelest, most inhuman acts, but it had been one of his best. Before this willingness to stoop to the levels of the orcs, Ulfang and his confederation of tribes and clans had been pushed nearly to the uttermost east. Some claimed that if they scaled the mountains and looked out, they could see where the sun rose, roiling out of the sea of infinity blackness. With his back to the wall and the lives and culture of his people at stake, Ulfang made a choice. A choice he did not regret.”

{Dear reader, there are a lot of fine Canon character interpretation, but this one is my favourite. (Yes, I am allowed to be biased, says so in the contract ) I could literally quote the post in its entirety for it’s brilliance. <3 Far be it from me to tell you how to vote , however , let me just say that Ulfang has my vote and on that note... *Alexa play Returns a King by Tyler Bates*. P.S. Double round of Douze points from Nessa.}

5. @Laintaen as Beleg

“ “Enough.” The form of Beleg detached itself from the shadows of the trees, unseen until now by even the keenest eye. Clad in his camouflage of grey and green that melted seamlessly with his surroundings, he had seen no reason to distinguish himself until now. Many times he had watched his Marchwardens dissuade travellers from venturing too far into the realm of Doriath, content that they were more than capable without his assistance. Indeed, he rather enjoyed the game into which the more effective among them, Sillandhas and Mallosel, had turned such encounters. He would have been happy to let them wound the pride of Aredhel and her escort, but it seemed they had all underestimated her obstinacy and the last thing he wanted was for himself or any of his company to join the ranks of the Kinslayers.”

{Dear reader, here’s a small extract of the post that’s a perfect mix of diplomacy, amusement, mocking an insulting the hoighty-toity Noldorian nobility and Noldor in general that I’m here for. There’s plenty of this in the rest of the post :D Douze points from Nessa for this delightful combination that fits Beleg. Keep up the good work :D }

6. @Legolas as Legolas {well that was interesting :D}

“Thranduil's son finally arrived at the gates of Ost-Halatir after a refreshing and reviving ride, since the air was clean and the nature was flourishing and vibrant. However, something along the way troubled his mind but Legolas couldn't really tell what it was, except that it was somewhat of an uncomforting feeling that arose when he looked into the far. It felt like a kind of darkness or shadow emerged and it came nearer and nearer...”

{Dear reader, Legolas! Douze points from Nessa. Yes, that’s it. That’s the comment. Go away.}

7. @Moriel as Thuringwethil

“Her face split into a hideous smile as she swooped and dived, bloody fangs dripping and glistening in the light of the burning plains. The taste of elf and man alike lingered upon her tongue in coppery bliss as with a calculated dive and flare of her wings, she ripped the throat from an elf with her iron claws, evading his spear in a neat spiral, the force of her blow throwing him from the back of his horse and onto the charred ground. (...) At the last possible moment, she extended her wings and as they flared, her iron-clawed feet reached out and snatched the standard, tearing it from its pole with a rending of fabric and hope, and as she sped away, Thuringwethil's raucous laughter rang out above the noise of battle, the flag of her enemies’ greatest king clutched in her talons.

{Dear reader, your chronicler has the hots for Moriel and her interpretation and writing of dark, seductive characters. Insert appropriate Shakespeare sonnet where the chronicler expresses her admiration to Moriel’s interpretation of Dark Ladies. <3 Now, I’m not going to tell you how to vote, you’re all adults here, but if my pick isn’t your jam, how about this very dark, non-glittery, sultry and seductive vampires P.S. Another double round of Douze points from Nessa.}

8. @The Elf Imperishable (Rivvy) as Fangorn

“At this, Fangorn spent much time pondering, still not completely understanding the specific aspects of this strange protection. There was much he did not understand of Thingol. The trees themselves were content to be left alone, however, and the ent heard them speak of the burárum who were fought by the elves east of the forests. This he knew from asking the elm-woods of Ossiriand, of a great battle that killed many elves. But now no orc traveled within the Girdle, and peace had long reigned in the land. So long as he could pass and wander the woods of Neldoreth and Region as a whole, the ent was content in not knowing everything about such elven matters.”

{Dear reader, it always seemed difficult to me to capture the essence of an ent. How do you describe someone so treeish and yet not treeish? I confess I am not that skilful, however there are far more talented people here than me who can manage to capture the essence of Fangorn, the ent. <3 Douze points from Nessa for capturing the essence of entishnes and Fangorn in particular.}

9. @The Elf Imperishable (Rivvy) as Melkor/Morgoth

“Ivy had begun surrounding the outside of Angband’s walls, so long had they not been opened. The gate itself was quiet, as if within lay nothing but forgotten specters. The Sun would set to an evening with a lightless moon; the Ard-Galen dim underneath the cold stars, just like quite a few other wintry nights. (...) “Doom is nigh,” Melkor spoke aloud, scowling as his glaring eyes boring the end of the hall, “The time hath come.” (...) Through the white blaze there stood Melkor, his black armor absorbing all light, the three Silmarils dimly shining, camouflaged against the flames. And so he stood until all of Angband’s flames and fires were released, leaving naught but the light of the Silmarils and his own blazing eyes in the dark void that now was Nethermost Hall.”

{Dear reader, this post, the contrasts in it, the description, the dialogue… Chef’s kiss. Douze points for essence de Melkor/Morgoth from Nessa.}

Thank you all for your nominations and congratulations to all the nominees! I shall leave you all to the already established pattern of Greek tragedy while you agonise over who’s brilliant interpretations of Canon Character(s) should have your undying love vote. No, you can’t vote for all of them, you must pick one. Sorry, you know where the powder room and the tissues are.

These polls keep getting harder and harder to decide who to vote for! Dammit! Why’d y’all have to be so good?

I’ve always secretly liked Octavian.

“It’s all fun and games until the GM rolls the dice and suddenly you’re surrounded by cave trolls with pitchforks and sentenced to be hanged by the neck until dead and now what ya gonna do”

*drum roll* Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages! It’s once again time for us (@Goostradamus , @Fuin Elda and myself) to invite you to cast your votes. The category de jour is Best Game of 2020! As stated in the opening post, you will choose by voting in the following Google Poll (thanks and praise go to Fuin for making the poll ). The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented.

1. Catch That Cat: ån RP Game run by @Goostradamus.

“It’s Silas Hardwick’s birthday party! As is the custom with Hobbit birthday parties, there are presents for all and sundry... but there’s been an Accident! Unfortunately, the table with all the presents on has been toppled over by Silas’ new kitten - and she’s torn off all the ribbons with the name labels on too… (…) There’s only one way to solve this crisis: everybody get stuck in, have some cakes and ale, and start unwrapping presents! Some of them may be Unexpected, but some of them may be delightful surprises!”

{Dear reader, let’s see what we got here – a hobbit birthday party, hobbits, hilarity, presents wrongly wrapped, a kitten <3 cake and ale! What’s not to like! :D}

2. DIE: Orodruin Obfuscation run by @Moriel.

“Ohhhh dear. Our resident volcano is not very happy today and is belching more smoke and ash and a fair amount of lava all over the place. Someone has come up wit the bright idea that throwing hobbits into the heart of the volcano will appease it (like virgins, but hairier). Where did the hobbits come from? No idea, but we've got them! Perhaps they escaped from On the Rocks, in which case there will be a very angry pubmistress later today. Minions from all corners have flocked to Orodruin to try and hurl a hobbit into the depths, but their efforts are impeded by a mass of lava snakes, disturbed and royally annoyed by the volcano's unrest.”

{Dear reader, smoke rises from Orodruin, and no a new Dark Lord has not been elected! However, this delightful mix of minions, lava snakes and unfortunate hobbits is truly a combination meant for greatness! This thread also features the origin story of the resurrection? rebirth? birth? Of Jorgy Underdash – a very unlikely hobbit!}

3. Miss/ter Meduseld Pageant run by @Taeth-on-Hiatus & co.

“In the fields and hills around Edoras, a new sight has popped up seemingly overnight. There are brightly colored tents with lanterns and streamers hanging between them. It’s time for the Edoras Summer Festival! (...) “Westu hal!” one greets you. “Are you interested in gaining the title of Miss or Mister Meduseld, and representing Rohan and the King throughout Arda for the next year? If so, please sign up here! The competition will start soon! If you wish to simply observe, rather than compete, please go grab some food and drink for yourself and return in a little while! We would love for our participants to have an audience to cheer them on, and we may even need your help!””

{Dear reader, I can’t even begin to describe the creativity, the hilarity, the sheer awesomeness of this! Oh just go read and have an awesome time, you can thank me later. }

4. Oogie Boogie's Wheel of Fun run by @Dwim

“When Mr. Oogie Boogie says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man
And if you aren't shakin'
There's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time
You hear the boogie song”
“Uh oh! You've fallen into Oogie Boogie's lair! He's a gamblin' Boogie Man, although he don't play fair. Beating him in a game of chance is the only way you're escaping there! (…) The wheel is fun for Oogie Boogie, not you.”

{Dear reader, this was one fast-paced game (as RP games in the Plaza go) proper gambling your savings, life and kidneys vibes here }

5. Rune Breaker WS RP run by @Afird Splitax

“The Dwarves have always used the Cirth (rune characters designed to be cut into a surface, rather than written with a brush or pen). Word has come to the ears of the Dwarves that a new mining shaft has been opened and a rare tablet has been discovered. The translation of this tablet dates back to the days of Durin I the Deathless. The hunt is now own to discover more tablets. Grab your spade and join the Dwarves as they delve into the past.”

{Dear reader, your chronicler must confess that she is not smart enough for this game (I am a Woman of a Certain Age™ and things easily confuse me ) but it was so much fun to see a new twist on this game and read everyone’s RP post, and how the GM reminded everyone about the height of the tunnels and how everyone had that in mind while RP-ing! Outstanding job everyone!}

6. The Great Elvish Culinary Contest: Ån RP Game run by @Goostradamus & co, @Dimcairien Luiniel and @Almarëa Mordollwen .

“Welcome to the House of Master Elrond, who has graciously allowed us to use his rather magnificent kitchens for this little experiment. Who will be crowned the Cook Supreme? Within the great kitchen halls are set up your workstations: you each have three buckets of clean water and a bucket of ice; a stone firepit; pots and pans; and the hall itself contains an enormous cook’s fireplace at each end where you will be able to access spits, and place your pots into the flames to cook if you haven’t enough space to bake in your firepit.In the three vast shared wooden tables running down the centre of the Hall you have space to chop, knead, and prepare your food - except the mid most table, which is filled with ingredients all ripe and ready for the choosing.”

{Dear reader, this deceptively simple explanation hides a brilliant gem, more brilliant than those 3 shiny jewels that the elves fought like 5 wars? about. I could wax poetic odes of epic length (But does one wax odes? Why would one wax a poem? So many questions!) to how amazing, amusing, awesome, brilliant, funny, humorous, hilarious, genius etc. this thread is… Or you know you could just go read it and see for yourself.}

7. WHERE are my NUTS?! (ån RP game) run by the @Goostradamus who honks a lot

“It’s a lovely autumn day in Fangorn Forest, and you are a deranged squirrel. (Or any other creature (or person) you would like to play as.) What are you doing? Why, you’re searching for nuts for your winter store! As a bonus, you’re also looking for last year’s winter store... which you buried somewhere and forgot about.”

{Dear reader, remember the OP from PROTETCS MY NUTS!? Well yes, this is the predecessor to that game. The origin story of all your favourite deranged animals in Fangorn is here! Go forth, read, enjoy, have a good laugh, you deserve it!}


Once again thank you all for sending in your nominations, and congratulations to everyone nominated! Now that you had a good laugh and enjoyed the fun and games it’s time to cast your vote for your favourite Game. You know the drill, Google poll, enter username, agonise for hours over your vote, then close your eyes and think of your Kingdom and click on something and submit. May the Gods be ever in your favour!

White smoke rises from the ARPY building… The crowd excitedly gathers on the square eagerly awaiting the appearance of a person in a toga praetexta for the official reveal of the nominations for the next category…

Once again, the ARPY Triumvirate (@Goostradamus as Augustus, @Fuin Elda as Marcus Antonius and yours truly as Marcus Aemilius Lepidus, the last and utterly forgettable pontifex maximus ) would like to formally invite you to cast your votes, this time for the Best Small Collaborations (up to 3 people) of 2020.

The nominees are listed by some sort of order that made sense to me at the time of the sorting (don’t ask what logic was applied here, I don’t know OK? It made sense at the time!), links and extracts along with the quite frankly deranged running commentary of questionable taste and appropriateness are provided to help you chose (or to confuse you, insult you, make you question your own sanity, question the existence of coherent thoughts and a brain in your chronicler’s head… The options are infinite, just make sure you pick one and stick to it! )

As stated in the opening post, you will choose by voting in the following Google Poll [courtesy of Fuin, because the forgettable 3rd is stuck in that transitional period between Antiquity and the Middle Ages. It's a whole thing, don't ask. Or you know ask, if you have hours to spare and you're bored AF and want to hear me talking historiography ]. The numbers correspond to the order in which the posts are presented.

Chronicler’s note: Best Small Collaboration has proven to be a rather difficult category to sort and present. I am beginning to see a rather concerning pattern with my “brilliant” ideas. This category requires a lot more editor’s choice and commentary because the extracts are chosen from every partner in the collaboration. They might not always correspond to the link(s) that the Triumvirate was given by the person or persons who during the nomination phase. Nonetheless, every post that was selected to provide a quote/extract is from 2020. I will insert the link to the post I’m quoting from along with who’s post it is at the end.

I hope what I wrote makes sense to everyone, however, if I’m not clear enough or if you don’t understand my logic, or I managed to confuse you so much (it’s a thing, trust me) please, please reach out and ask questions. Either here in the thread, or on Discord, or via e-mail, by lighting the beacons, messenger birds (owls are preferred)… Whatever. Remember there are no silly questions, and if you’re confused it most definitely isn’t your fault.

1. @Aodh Hammerhelm and @Eléowyn journey together through the Fields and Forests of Rohan.

“Four Points of the Compass:
West: Edoras ~ NPC: Fallon Underwood
Nineteen days on the road out of Bree, and how many more before that? The hobbit couldn't tell, in fact he wasn't even sure if his journey from Bree had taken as long as he thought. 19! Yes, that felt right. 19, a number of power, his old comrade was wont to quote. (...)
South: The King's Road, Eastfold ~ NPC: The Lone Rider
The Rider cursed his aged body. How many miles he could have covered in a day, in his youth, he could not remember. But it was certainly more than nineteen. The ache in his back flared with each hoof-fall; the rhumatiz, powerful strong this morning, made of his hands claws about the reins. (...)
East: The Wold, Vale of the Anduin ~ NPC: Nadene Dughlaich
She was dressed for riding; of course she was, for riding had been her immediate concern before sleep had somehow crept over her. And that had been just after breakfast. How long had she slept? Nineteen hours at least! (...)
North: The Tafelberg, beside Anduin, above the Undeeps.
Aodh Hammerhelm sat quietly upon the graven step. Behind him, leading up to windswept summit of the butte, more lay. Eighteen more he deemed. Aye, nineteen in total. He knew this as truth without having walked them.”

from Aodh’s post

{Dear reader, a lot of characters here at the beginning of this adventure… I really like the way how Aodh makes connections with these characters that are in various locations in Rohan (Four Points of the Compass) by using the number 19 in various ways. Excellent storytelling! Douze points for the “Rising Nineteen” from Nessa}

“The curtain of night was now fully drawn, and though the harvest moon rising at their backs gave promise of a silvery lantern to light their way as it rose in the sky, the shade was too deep for Eléo to read Aodh’s face. But she heard no hint of deceit in his voice, nor tones of words meant simply to placate, and so she was satisfied. She said nothing more on the subject, but squeezed Aodh’s hand in acknowledgment. They were nearing the cavalry outpost when Aodh spoke again. “Min léof,” she replied, “I would sleep under the stars with you for all the days of our lives, if you so desired. Yes, let us ride on, free as you say, freer than we have ever been.” ”

from Eléowyn’s post

{Dear reader, I enjoy reading Eléowyn’s posts in this collaboration, she has a very lyrical writing style. I selected this one because her character expresses her love and emotion for the love of her life. It’s just so beautiful, emotional and oh my heart! Douze points from Nessa!}

2. @Dimcairien Luiniel and @Allacan ob Burzum for the story they crafted from the question What is the most stupid or foolish thing your character has ever done? What were the repercussions? from the Roleplay Practice Prompts: Character Development thread. {One of the greatest threads in CoLP and extremely helpful! Please check it out.}

“Éomund stood there, hanging his head as he suddenly realised he had disappointed and frightened his uncle, neither of which he had meant to do. He bit his lip, trying to figure out how to explain what had just happened. Grimthain always understood him; he was the only person who did. Surely this was all a big misunderstanding and everything that had just happened would be quickly brushed aside. Grimthian would give him a hug and tell him everything was alright. But that was not to be. The tone with which his uncle spoke to dismiss the dryhts terrified him and his whole body trembled. He had never encountered the harsh side of his uncle before, though he had heard tales of it. For the moment, he was thankful the words were not directed at him, but once the two soldiers left, he was alone in the cell with his uncle. For the first time in his short life, Éomund was genuinely terrified of the older man. He shivered, not from cold, but from the fear of what might happen next. He was becoming aware that his brilliant idea to hide in order to stay might have been a stupid one. He looked up and was prepared to argue his defence, but the cold look from his uncle was enough to stifle any words that may have been on the tip of his tongue. (…) He turned and slowly began to leave he stockade. As he exited the cell, he heard Grimthain’s final words - he didn’t belong at the keep: he didn’t belong with Grimthain. In his mind, those words carried such weight: he didn’t belong, he was useless, he was a stupid orphan from a nearly forgotten village. He didn’t deserve to be his father’s son. He didn’t hear Grimthain’s following sentence: the challenge of needing to shape his future. If he had heard those words, he might have left the stockade with some resemblance of confidence still in him. As it was, he left Helms Deep that day with his self-esteem shattered by the one person in the world he thought he could trust. “I hate you,” he muttered under his breath as he exited, desperately wanting to mean the words, but there was no power behind them. He was too exhausted and internally downtrodden to do so.”

from Dim’s post

“The ride home had been quiet and awkward for them both; Grimthain could tell Éomund had been crying, and he wanted to say or do something to make it better but he had no idea what, and was afraid that if he opened his mouth and said the wrong words, that he would only make things worse. He was already afraid that he had broken the easy relationship beyond repair, and he had no desire to damage it even more. Additionally, at the same time he was also still a little annoyed and upset and disappointed in Éomund, and resolute that he needed the boy to understand his place and starting behaving responsibly, and he was no more informed as to how to explain that lesson than he had been in the heat of his emotions. He was fearful that if he gave those emotions a fresh platform to express themselves, that even if his intention was to help Éomund understand the lesson to be learned, it would simply turn into another angry lecture that would only alienate the boy even more. Grimthain knew he had done something wrong, but he wasn't exactly sure what, so he didn't know where to start to rectify this. Éodred would have known what to do, he thought to himself miserably, but they Éodred would likely have never gotten into this mess in the first place.”

from Alla’s post

{Dear reader, I’m not crying. I’m fleeging bawling my eyes out and howling with anguish here! There are no words to describe how hauntingly beautiful this story is. All 4 parts of the story are here, grab a box of tissues, and go read! Have your heart be broken and shattered in a thousand tiny pieces and than repaired by the beauty of this. Why should I be the only one to suffer?! Double Douze points from Nessa.}

3. @Ercassie and @Tharmáras for their story about the Moles of/from? Gondolin.

“"I am Ospiel, of Hithlum," she shrugged, recovering her voice with the required pride of such a claim. "Charged by the High king to hold to defence of his realm when he rode out to war." There was no need to relate the death of Fingon. All knew. His Enemy had made a celebration of the murder and woe had infected the region in the wake of their King's loss. There had been a successor High King of the Noldor, come and gone after him since then though the Sinda had seen/known this not. As far as she was aware, there were no longer Noldor in Hithlum, nor even Sindar that she had seen, besides herself. Still, she knew her homeland better than the Easterlings who had just lately occupied it, and they had never found her. "The enemy rode at our borders in droves and on such a storm of riotous victory that we could not halt them. Our allies, they told us, had scattered and been all annihilated," the elleth considered her benefactors, still struck by some awe. All the surviving Elves in Hithlum had been herded off to Angband, so that to have eyes fall on her kind again … seemed strange and suspicious. "That was now some thirty years since," she shrugged, carelessly, and yet in continuation of that movement, stepped up to the tallest of her saviours. "So who are you that came here unlooked for and with such timely intervention ?"”

from Cassie’s post

“"She is a slayer, that alone matters," Hatholdir rebuked him. "We must exist. We cannot afford to drive strangers away, expecially those with a soldier's experience. Our lives depend on friendship. We take anyone in, Old Moles and New Moles, Elf or Man. Your girl dwells with us. I care; if I didn't, I would have let her starve or die or be captured or...worse." (...) Hatholdir believed the ends justified the means and would sink to the lowest depth of depravity to accomplish his goals.”

from Aig’s post

{Dear reader, I think I’ll leave you with verses by Richard K. Morgan from Altered Carbon as comment :D



4. @Call of Cthulhu (Frost) and @Giliathriel – a sailor with an odd past reunites with his elven friend in Pelargir, the city of mirrors and mirages.

“Thirteen years ago he had booked a job aboard a whaler, travelling from Pelargir to Lindon in search of whale oil to help fuel the lights of Minas Tirith and Osgiliath. He would be gone for approximately a years’ time. It would had been difficult to leave his wife for that long, they had only been married at that point for a year and such a separation could play havoc on their relationship. But he had assured her everything would be okay and he would be back before she knew he was gone. He had been so wrong. (...) First, he had to go about trying to prove to the courts that he was not dead, which was far more difficult than he’d ever imagined. The process was mind numbingly tedious but he was determined. He was all set for a court date, to prove to the magistrate of the third circle that he, Lews Tryfan, was still alive, when something happened, or rather someone happened. An assassin.”

from Frost’s post

“The only animals to keep her company here were the damn crabs and the gulls. She’d heard other elves proclaim their love for the sounds of gulls, but as far as birds went, she much preferred owls. With an owl, you knew where you stood with them. Gulls were a finicky, opportunistic lot. But oh, the sea. Glorious, majestic. Terrifying. It sounded like freedom and chains at the same time. She’d ran off to Fangorn to keep herself from being chained, and she would refuse the sea the same.”

from Giliathriel’s post

{Dear reader, I really enjoy how both posts start as soothing, everyday thing… Here’s a gorgeous description of Pelargir’s busy port… And here’s a lyrical description of the forest and then the sea... Oh look, here’s a scene where the assassin is coming to kill someone! Wait? What? }

5. @Moriel and @Call of Cthulhu (Frost) for Helcë etta Anga

{Dear reader, before you start reading this let’s get a few things out of the way… Fist of all make sure there are no distractions, which means no kids/pets/partners/parents/siblings/roommates popping in every 3 seconds to ask a question. None of that. Furthermore, get thyself a nice bottle of wine, a red preferably. Not the el-cheapo kind, the good, expensive kind! My personal favourites would be Teran, Plavka Gašpar, Plavac Mali or Crljenak Kaštelanski (that would be Zinfandel you non Croatians ), but take whatever fancy wine from a fancy bottle you can get wherever you are. And you need a fancy glass for this, no plasticky bullshire. Proper wine glass you hear me! Got everything? Now sit your arse down, drink your drink and enjoy. And make sure you stick to read everything, cause this colab is *insert a string of non-child friendly and very inappropriate comments* bomb!}

““May the Ice be cold, and the Iron be cruel.” A tremor ran through the room, as the very foundations of the city trembled. Minas Morgul shook in the grip of the power unleashed by the Avar’s soft and shattering voice, and her tower, the room in which they sat, seem to rattle and roar as though the earth beneath it were being ripped asunder by titanic forces; no stone cracked or delicate object fell, but it would seem to Frost as if the solid floor beneath him might crumble at any moment, as though the air about him were compressed by some invisible force, and as if the whispers had become screams; every rune inked into his skin began to glow, its glow accompanied by the touch of the hot iron whose light it resembled. The light of every candle guttered, and the fire dipped low in its grate, and throughout the shaking of the seeming cataclysm Sombelenë sat, her vulpine eyes alight with cruel pleasure. Then, as quickly as the cataclysm had come, it died: the scorching and screaming ceased, the voices fell silent, the air and light returned to normal, and the tangible tremble of the city beneath them gradually died. Sombelenë took another sip of her wine.”

from Moriel’s post

{*raises a fancy looking glass of Teran in toast of Lady Sombelenë*}

“Something did crack open, but it was not the floor. Pain. Searing, tearing, burning, ripping, shredding pain. Through gritted teeth, he managed to look down at his arms, at his tattoos. They were the source of this nearly unbearable pain. His breath caught. The tattoos looked like they were glowing, burning with a pulsing orange light. Involuntarily, his mind flung him backward in time, saving him temporarily form the holocaustic agony of the present. He was brought to the moment he received those tattoos. Gætir, his muscles taut and quivering, stood over him. Frost was laying on a cold stone slab, arms outstretched. The old man held a wicked knife in his hand. He went to carving the Númenórean’s arms. He would make a cut, say some words, then exchange the knife for a quill. The pain lasted hours. The ritual burned on and on from the setting of the sun to its rising the next day. The young man had never felt such pain before. When it was over, Gætir vanished into his mountain, fading away like morning fog. Before he left, he said he was surprised Frost had survived. Most that try to undergo this particular ritual die of blood loss and trauma. Frost was made of strong stuff, he assured the wizard. The old man simply grinned, his feral grin exposing the madness behind his eyes. “You are marked,” he said. “Only the greatest sorcerers will be able to unlock those runes.” Frost’s mind came roaring back to the present, the torment was alive and wriggling within him like a serpent. He wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He wanted to bite down on his tongue, but he didn’t. His jaw clamped down. He could feel his teeth about to crack when the pain subsided finally. The shaking too, died away until it was as if nothing had ever happened.”

from Frost's post

{*a fancy looking glass filled with Plavka Gašpar in toast of Frost* Did I just make a rhyme? Perhaps...}

6. @Moriel and @Lantaelen for Elenion Sunquelë

“The great conflict of the War of Wrath had destroyed so much of the world she once had known, stretching even here to what had been the far peaceful east. Now at the foot of what had once been Rerir, the bulwark of Thargelion’s strength, all had changed. The mountain was a shadow of what it once had been. None of the criss-crossings between trees which had marked the dwellings of those who preferred to live aloft remained, all had been destroyed in flame. (...) Tavari had expected the shelf to be obliterated, but unbelievably, it remained: not in its entirey, for fire and the passage of boulder and earth had taken their toll, but the monumental oaks which had supported it in the elder days had not been cowed. They had been burned by dragonfire, beaten by stones and blasted with wind, but their cores had been sung into being before elvenkind, and within their trunks they endured, supporting the stone that had supported a kingdom.”

from Moriel’s post

“Traitor, for having turned against his people. Oath-breaker, for having spilled his own people’s blood, where his mandate should have been all their protection. Kinslayer, for he readily slayed elves much akin to himself, fair and immortal, though he was no longer so. His hair was ragged and disheveled. The light in his once brilliant indigo orbs now faded. His limbs were slender with starvation, as were his torso and ribs. No weapon did he bear, but a staff of rowan he carried, with cherry-vines wrapped about it, every so often bearing fruits in which to extend his torment, half caught between starvation and fullness, but never satisfied in any true definition of the word. But rather than seeking a cure to his despair, he stayed here. In what had once been Thargelion, the last patch of his Lord’s realms and home. Across the water lay the barren peak of Himling, inaccessible to him, yet like a beacon ever drawing him near, keeping him close, teasing him with these memories of glory.”

from Lantaelen’s post

{Dear reader, again I offer verses as my comment. From Bear McCreary’s A Distant Sadness (translated from Armenian)



7. @Tarawen , @Goostradamus and @Moriel gather in Carn Dûm

“Zôrzimril was no great traveler, much less a ranger accustomed to toiling in the desolate areas surrounding the Lone Lands. Her raven hair, which habitually feel in shining curls around her face, was pulled into a low, messy bun at the nape of her neck. For so many years, she had chased finery, ease, and pleasure; now, she was dust-streaked, weary, and altogether uncomfortable. (...) She dismounted swiftly, accustomed by now to the movements of riding and the plain clothes it required: she had conceded that, for long travels, a hooded cloak, belted black tunic, and close-fitting pants were superior to her usual silks. She relieved the horse of her bags and stabled him for the night. It would be nice to find him there in the morning, but she wasn't counting on it.”

from Tarawen’s post

{Dear reader, if you thought minions travel in style and luxury you and the minions need to adjust their expectations Being evil ain’t no luxury cruise people! }

“Once he reached her waist he released his grasp on her neck and flipped her to face him, gently but firmly. “Aha,” he said, looking straight into her eyes as his hands found the long knife at her belt. “I was beginning to think you a fool for coming this way entirely unarmed. And what’s this?” He slipped a hand up her thigh - smooth as silk - and came up with another dagger, strapped there securely. (...) He clicked his tongue in brief annoyance as he stepped away from her warmth and began rummaging - carefully - through her bag. True to her word, there were needles inside. “Are you taking some sort of job here as a seamstress?” he suggested, bemused, as he unfolded the case where said needles were securely sheathed. Amarthel did wear a lot of fancy outfits, after all, and a woman of noble background would probably be an excellent tailor and designer. Why else would she travel so far, he supposed: Amarthel was at least reliable in that respect.”

from Sil’s post

{Dear reader, Goose in the role of a thoroughly inappropriate guard. }

“Zôrzimril. It had been a long, long time since anyone had spoken that name in the Delgaran’s presence. This Zôrzimril was not to know, of course, but still it drew a slight, soft sound of amusement from the swarthy woman on the dais. Amarthel listened with interest to the rest of her speech, for indeed House Azgarâbêl was of special interest to her, and she had not yet had the leisure to satisfy herself as to the circumstances of its destruction. Now, its last member had come to her, and with information of a plot. She upraised a letter. House Castamir. Another item of special interest, for this house was hers, and the Delgaran had been its head. In some ways, she still was. For the first time since the Númenorean woman had entered, Amarthel moved. She took one step down, onto the last stair before the floor of the throne room, and held out one hand. She bent its fingers toward herself, indicating that Zôrzimril should hand the letter over. When she had done so, the Delgaran snapped it open.”

from Moriel’s post

{Dear reader, the plot thickens! Or goes strange(r) }

8. @Winddancer and @Call of Cthulhu (Frost) in Umbar - it's complicated...

“Shaking so hard now he almost lost the battle against his bladder, he was about to relent and just get it over with when he heard the shouting from inside the Scryer's house. Freezing mid move, he slunk back towards the wall, his bladder momentarily forgotten and peered out from behind the barrel cautiously. To his horror he saw the horrific orc emerge with his arms aflame despite the rain. Jaw dropping he watched enthralled as the flames died out, thinking it had to have been the rain that had put it out. "She set him on fire!" He hissed under his breath, his head shaking as the orc had likely done something to make the Scryer angry. "Never anger the Scryer is what Saemund always says.." he muttered as his teeth clattered together from the cold.”

from Windy’s post

{Dear reader, I died. }

““Do I scare you, my little sweetling?” she giggled delightedly then leaned in conspiratorially “or does he?” Her eyes brightened. “Oh you sweet pathetic little puppy you! Oh I could just eat you up!” She flashed a wicked grin then looked about the alley. They were alone, the rain had driven everyone who might normally have been traversing the streets. The sounds of the street were now completely different.”

from Frost’s post

{Dear reader, this is a classic example of a kid being in the wrong place in the wrong time. Or in the right place in the wrong time? *thinking face* Or wrong place in the right time? *thinking face* Eh, the forgettable 3rd will let you decide :p }

Thank you all for your nominations and congratulations to everyone nominated! And thank you for joining forces and bringing us brilliant stories! Keep up the good work! I shall leave you all to the already established pattern of Greek tragedy while you agonise over which Small Collaboration should have your undying love erm vote. No, you can’t vote for everyone, we’ve been through this several times already. You MUST pick ONE. Sorry, you know where the powder room and the tissues are.

P.S. I’d apologise for my comments, but I think you already figured out that whatever brain to keyboard filters I had… Well, I don’t have anymore.

What a fab way to recognise excellent threads and content!

@Nessa Saelind

Thanks for the nomination. I must confess though that the 19 repetitive motif is a re-sampling (sounds better than plagiarism :)) of part of an epic tale by Stephen King

@Aodh Hammerhelm I thought I knew it was from somewhere however honestly I hold by good writers borrow, great writers steal. The story was unique enough my brain did not go to Stephen King when I read it whiles sorting all the nominations.

@Aodh Hammerhelm - your RP's are always so inspiring and I'm amazed how creatively you present Rohan's culture and weave your own RP ideas. I honestly didn't even connect Stephen King with it, my first association when I was preparing this presentation post came from a book series I've read last year, The Khorasan Archives by Ausma Zehanat Khan. But it's always wonderful to read and later hear a Plaza member acknowledge that they gave a nod to an author/book/series/movies that inspire them in their RP post.

@Fuin Elda & @Nessa Saelind

Have a squizz @ The Gunslinger by SK if you haven't already. But be warned, the narrative plays out over 6 more volumes (each longer than the preceding one).

King uses a bit of grabbing and sampling from Tolkien, The Beatles and Rowling (others too) to flesh out the tale. That makes me feel less like a thief...

"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief..." The Fly, U2.

Like Dylan, tales should contain multitudes.

excuse me just one sec

What’s drama to a goose? The bitter interplay of the pond dynamics; proximity to the breadcrumbs; flapping your wings and honking? It doesn’t really matter. What matters, dear plaza members, is what’s dramatic to YOU?

Choose your favourite dramatic post from this fine, delicious section below! Thrill with the tension. Gasp with excitement. Do a dance, nobody’s watching. Except the geese.

As usual, HERE IS A LINK TO THE GOOGLE POLL TO VOTE!

1. @Moriel as Kamion

“Faran, already irritated, had snorted and pinned back his ears, tensing his haunches an instant before the dog that had been lurking in an alley exploded out of it in a whirl of snarling fur and flashing teeth. Whether the dog had a death wish, was feeling especially vindictive, or just thought scaring horses was fantastic entertainment would remain a mystery: it charged at Faran, lunging at his legs and haunches. The gelding lashed out fore and aft, hooves skimming fur as the dog responded with agility, infuriating the horse until with a cry that was more bray than neigh, the whites of his eyes standing out starkly, Faran reared up on his thick legs, pawing the sky and dancing about on his hindlegs. Kamion clung like a burr to his back, silent and concentrated, left hand gripping the coarse mane while his right took a wrap on the reins.”

2. @Moriel as Tavari and Davos

“The ship nosed into her homing and Tavari did not wait for line to be thrown or gang to be lowered, she raced from the bowsprit and vaulted over the side of the ship to land upon the pier. Valion had broken from the group and was running towards her. Tavari sprinted to meet him and they crashed together in a tangle of limbs, her arms clenched fiercely about his neck. It was a long, long moment before they drew far enough apart to look at each other, and she grinned broadly at him through the tears that dampened her cheeks.”

3. @Moriel as Gellam and Tavari

“As soon as it began, panic overcame him and the reflexes of the acrobat kicked in: the Fool vaulted back out of the doorway and ran down the steps, skittering over the frozen ground an snow to the side of the building, and pressed himself into one of hollows of the wall. Had she seen him? He was breathing as though he had just outrun a horde of Mirkwood spiders, and this was not calmed when his eyes fell upon the snow before him. Footprints! Of course, he had left footprints leading up to Mar Aldaron, and again in his flight from the entrance. Surely she would see, and then he would have to explain himself.”

4. Frost (@Call of Cthulhu ) as Beranwine

Wisps of smoke curled around the patrons, almost in a lover’s caress. But there was something putrescently wrong. There was no tenderness, there was only hunger.
You remember what happened to you, beneath the ice.
“I… I didn’t fall in the ice… I escaped before… before it broke,” he whimpered.
You remember what I allow you to remember, and you will remember this.
“No.” his voice was so small it would swallowed up by the gentle din of the tavern.
He watched, helplessly, as the tendrils of power sifted around the room, unseen by all but him. He watched as the hungry serpentine things skulked about the room. His missing eye throbbed with pain, like a knife was being thrust into it. His knuckles were clenched so tightly that his fingernails began ripping holes in his flesh.

5. @Lantaelen in Elenion Sunquele

“Footsteps. Someone was near. Someone was coming! It sprang up in his mind, alerting him as if all the powers of evil were bearing down on him. Someone was here! Who would dare come to these grass covered stones? Dwarves seeking riches no doubt, surveying mountains. Or a party of elves on some pilgrimage of nostalgia. Did they know what lay beneath the grass? He knew. The butt of his staff discovered it more than not, from the soft thud of grass to the duller thump when it found stone truly lay beneath. They did not know! And so, they did not belong here. This was his lair of remorse and regret. They had no place here.”

6. Rivvy (@The Elf Imperishable ) as Eärcolanté

“"To Barad Eithel. Now."

And with that the horse, though on fire, suddenly stopped bucking, and as if beholden to the command of its rider, blazed a trail through the charring remains of the Ard-galen. Eärcolanté bent his body until his very face was inches away from the crackling flames. Yet it was as if the will of his eyes overcame the light of the heat, so that for a moment even his clothing appeared unscathed as all burned around him. Barad Eithel now loomed ever closer.

But the rivers of flame also crept ever closer, the sounds of lightning still crackling, more and more of the earth combusting.”

7. Frost (@Call of Cthulhu ) as Lews Tryfan

“The woods were silent that night, so utterly silent that Lews thought he might have stumbled into another realm. They fought for what felt like hours but in reality was only moments. Move, countermove, parry, strike, evade, slash, block, sidestep, thrust. Over and over again until Lews was cornered. The assassin had him. Then, as if by some divine providence, an owl flew by, swooping just close enough to the battle that the assassin was distracted for a heartbeat, and that’s all Lews needed to plunge his sword and stop that heartbeat from coming back.”

8. @Giliathriel as Silvien

“Silvien stared in disbelief at the crumpled paper lying on the tree stump in front of her. She looked up, as if seeking an answer in the sunlight thickly filtered by the green canopy. The shadows of the forest around her felt as nothing to the shadows in her heart.

"Ten years," she whispered, "ten years and now this?" Blinking back tears, she sat back on her crude chair and tried to determine what exactly it was that she felt.”

9. Frost(@Call of Cthulhu )

“Ecstatic with rage, Frost began smashing the bones, cracking and splintering them until there was naught left but dust. His breath was ragged and uneven, drool dripped from his chin as howled like a wolf. “I am the Son of the Morning! I am the Anathema of Light! I am the Child of Black Stars. YOU. ARE. NOTHING!” Where the bones had once lain peacefully, he drew a rudimentary crown, the crown resembling his master, his lord, the Witch-King. “May the Ice be cold, and the Iron be cruel.” Life surged into him again, he breathed deep and he howled again, filling the empty, silent air with ravening, rapacious madness.”

10. @Moriel as Tavari and Oromë (1)

“Surrounded by the milling horses, buffeted this way and that and utterly confused, Tavari did what any small child might do at such a moment: she filled her lungs, and screamed. Immediately as her voice pierced the glade, the movement of the horses changed, and one appeared before her, pacing directly towards Tavari. This was a mare of a rich, deep chestnut, and she halted before the girl, gazing upon her with soft dark eyes. She dropped her head, and Tavari reached out to touch the velvety muzzle, soft and strange beneath her fingers. Without quite knowing why, she threw her arms around the horse’s neck.”

11. @Moriel as Tavari and Oromë (2)

““Tavari.”

She looked up at Oromë again, and he did not have to speak further to communicate his will. Panic rose where her heart had fallen.

“What? I- no, I can’t- I don’t know how-“

“You can. And you do.”

“Can’t you-“

Allowing an amused look to cross his face, The Hunstman lifted one of his enormous hands. “No, I cannot.” His face fell into serious lines again as he continued, “It’s up to you now, child. Two lives depend on you.” He nodded to the nér at the mare’s hind end. “Move aside and rest, Curumaito. Let Tavari try.””

12. Sil @Goostradamus as Amaris (1)

“The words strike Amaris with the force of a crossbow bolt, laden with venom. She can’t take a full breath, her palms knotting into loosely trembling fists. She wants to sit down. There’s no chair. There’s only a blood spot on the floor.

She asks him a question, the only important question.

“Who?”

Lord Harân continues to regard her benignly, this... this stranger, this tiger in a man’s skin who has raised her for sixteen years. Ice is pouring through Amaris’ veins. For the first time, the thought comes to her that: he might kill her. Why else tell her such a thing?”

13. Sil @Goostradamus as Amaris (2)
“Amaris’ heart throbs painfully in her chest. The air is suddenly very cold.

“There’s a ship,” Lord Harân is saying. “Bribes have been paid. There’s a berth for you, even a companion. I don’t expect you to stay away forever: just long enough to set those dogs quiet.” He waves dismissively, brushing off the imaginary swains baying for Amaris in their beds. “Go. Live a little, learn of the world; and then come back to us, if you will, foster-daughter; for there are skills I think you have that will be valuable to me. You will come back better and stronger, so that I do not lose faith; or you will come back a pauper and I will have to have you drowned.”

He smiles as though he’s joking.”

14. @Bereth
“She blinked back hard against the tears, for as they rose up in her throat she worried it would swell shut entirely and she wouldn’t be able to breathe at all.

Her hand had nearly embossed grooves into the wood of the wagon frame as she had gripped it to keep from swaying as she’d peered into the ashen face. As Alwin departed, she had nodded mutely at Thali and then reached her hand to grasp her shoulder, rasping barely above a shaky whisper, “Aye, leave her to me. But allow me enough time to do a proper job of it.””

15. @Giliathriel as Naureth

“Naureth sauntered over, readied her dagger, and pulled the door open.

The woman inside screamed in terror as Naureth brandished the weapon, preparing to strike, when she caught a glimpse of the woman's face.

"Carniel? She sputtered out in disbelief. No, it couldn't be! Carniel had been Naureth's best friend since...forever. Why hadn't she told Naureth she had been involved in something like this?

Had she known Naureth had been contracted to kill her?

The contract. Gears turned in Naureth's head.”

16. @Thalionwen Hunigfolm

A breath.

And take this sorrow of mine with you as you go, my lost one. Bear it out of this life and before whomever turns the tides of our world, so that in witnessing it, they will pity us. Let them be moved to mercy, and look more kindly upon the children of Men because I sit and grieve over your passing.

A breath.

.....stillness.

Reaching out, Thalionwen felt for the beat of a heart she knew had stilled forever. Swallowing back a tightness and a burning in her throat, she got to her feet before the full weight of yet another death could settle in.

There were things to do yet. Thalionwen the healer never had the luxury of grieving in the moment sorrow struck.

17. @Nessa Saelind

“She walked behind the men who carried Tom’s father to another building where the rooms of recovery where. A feeling of unease overtook her as she neared the recovery room prepared for Tom and his father. She didn’t think it was the same room she recovered in, but the look and feel of it were similar enough to evoke the memory of her stay there. She paused in front of the room for a moment to take a breath and collect her thoughts. She would be of no help to Tom and his father if she got lost in her memories. When she felt herself in control she walked into the room and moved over to Tom who was sitting on the bed, afraid to move.”

18. @Winddancer as Borfang and Mord

“The sickening crunch of the skull imploding filled the air moments before the jubilant cries and the jeering ragefilled insults took over, the outcome of this fight definitely clear. Wiping away some of the brain matter from his face, Borfang stepped over the corpse of his opponent and headed straight for the giant mug of ale that was his reward, Mord already collecting his winnings and stuffing them away deep in his vest under the hatefilled gazes of those that had lost to him. Though they were still earning with these fights, their winnings were definitely decreasing as word got around.”

19. @Ercassie as Ilisys Azrûbel

“And what did Swans do ? Rise. Out of their roost. Yet she choked on the irony of her luck as the third Orc leered, brandishing a fearsome mace. It’s toy was grotesquely stamped through with all mishappen screws and barbs, that festooned one, celebratory leathered hand. It’s violent embrace would further shatter what remained of her delicate carriage .. had not a thudding bolt of death drilled through it’s foul chest, armour and all, in the very same moment that it looked to throw a bitter punch. Peril thus extinguished even as she anticipated it, and without the unhappy (slowest) Orc ever properly registering it. And so it, not she, fell next; the quarrel taking the collapsing concertina of it’s frame down to deflate beyond all harm. Ilisys had not even heard the yawn of the bow drawn.”

20. @Winddancer

“She found herself leaning forward as if that would help her see better as she watched the guard kick his dead colleague. Kick? What the.. jaw dropping she watched as instead of calling out the alarm the guard grabbed the dead guy and dragged him away, the sound of a door further away clanking shut. She rubbed her eyes as best she could with the shackles making it difficult, not truly believing that she was awake. But she must be, right? She could feel the shackles bite into her skin, the cold wet floor under her bare feet, the ache in her leg muscles, unused to the crouched position she was in and even the cold wall against her back.”

21. Frost (@Call of Cthulhu ) as Carníheiniel

“Thrum…

She could almost feel the frantic heartbeat of her meal. She could feel the hum and beat along thousands of leagues of web that she had placed through the pathways, crawl spaces, and holes. It was a frantic, faint thing. Far, far away from here. She roosted at the top of her peak, much like she remembered Thuringwethil when she knew her. Her caverns were far more vast though, an infinite expanse of darkness and unlight. And were the Lady of Secret Shadows and held court with bats of all manner, Carníheniel held court with herself alone. She was the utter master of her domain.”

22. @Lailyn (1)

“"Please don't apologise,” she insisted. “I said I would listen, didn't I? And anyway, its my fault. You invited me for lunch and I started all this...and here I am saying you should tell the truth when I can’t even do that myself." She let out a deep breath, releasing some of her frustration.

Despite his attempt at levity, he still sat with rigid shoulders, his tension palpable. He was obviously still troubled and she knew it would take more than a few words from a near-stranger to ease his mind.”

23. @Ercassie (1)

“The scent of suffocating vapours still offends my breathing. Not because I have not recovered (in body) from the wretched ordeal of our city's sack. My lungs can taste the fresh air these days without succumbing. But the potent aroma still haunts and drags me screaming back home as though I never had made it out alive. I hate that most of all I can not think of Ondolinde and think of glad times. I think only of the last time I saw ... What remained of it. I can not forget that day ..

Of course in this particular case, it was because some utter moron was sat cross legged upon the kitchen floor, setting fire to what looked like laundry.”

24. @Lailyn (2)

“But she asked him the question that burned within her anyway as tears threatened to burn her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Before he could reply, Lailyn spotted Arna reaching beneath her coat with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Feeling a sudden warning, an instinct from her days in the Cavalry perhaps, Lailyn stood up. The boat rocked back and forth with the sudden movement. Flashing a final glance at Davin’s face, which he didn’t even deserve, she felt something in her heart harden. It was not a familiar feeling to her and in that brief moment, she almost hated him for it.”

25. Frost (@Call of Cthulhu ) as Eril

““You failed me,” Eriane said, her blue and green eyes swirling. Eril’s mouth went dry. He coughed.

“How is any of this even real?” he asked, trying to turn away from his wife’s eyes.

“It’s not,” she said, moving back into his field of vision. “This is just what you imagined it to be. It was never like this, even before everything happened. You idealized the past because you couldn’t find a way to cope with the present. Instead of working to transform the world you had, you shoved your head in the sand. It took a heart attack for you to even come to that realization.”

Eril blinked. How could that be true? No, that couldn’t be it. No.

“Yes,” his wife said as if reading his mind. “It is true.””

26. @Ercassie (2)

“There was a new neighbour come amongst them, adding an exotic flavour to the typical city-wide plague of thieves and murderers in this human zoo. She could be assigned into either of these two common categories, and yet stood removed from any genre of the usual clientele. She had not been awarded the solitude or peace that came of privacy. She was not granted any illusion that she were any more important than another deviant, or miscreant. Chances were she would outstay the lot of them.

It was more than she had paid her dues to earn a place here. People had literally paid to see her interred here, off the streets. Out of harm … out of mind .. maybe not so much. But therein lay a stalwart tenacity to have her where she might do the least harm. For as long as it took. But whether trial or tribulation awaited her, none had readily explained.”

27. @Allacan ob Burzum as Grimthain

“For a few moments, Grimthain said nothing. He simply closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. Then another. Inside his head, he forced himself to count slowly to ten as the flurry of thoughts and emotions continued to rage through him. His earlier idea to express his true feelings to Éomund had been shattered and crushed under an even more powerful sense of duty to keep the boy safe. Although the lad had only been missing a short time, it had all the same been long enough for Grimthain's mind to imagine a hundred and one colourful and terrible ways that he might have come to harm or been fatally injured, and the visions of these imaginings were still echoing in his head.”

this is impossible. gimme the tissues! *cries in anguish & joy at all the good posts*

To the unknown entity or entities who nominated me and the fruit salad of a post for this category... We need to have a serious conversation in HoH so I can adjust some medication because clearly, something's not right here

I'm joking. Mostly. (Yes, my internet allowed me to come back, it just needed a nap )

Wow! Glad to boot up the Plaza after some time away to unexpected surprises:) Thanks so much for the nomination -- and for the chance to remember other excellent poems!

After a bit of scuttling about suddenly a very fat fluffy (with a small bald spot that looks like its growing back in on his face from some sort of fight) raccoon plops itself in front of you looking at you like it’s got a tale to tell. It gives it’s belly a scratch and pulls out what looks like little note cards of things it would like to say that have been scribbled on with what appears to be coloured wax. After several minutes and a good bit of yelling (and some honking that we aren’t sure where that came from) some semblence of order was returned as the fat fluffy raccoon was chased off with a broom.


Reginald the Third would like to think he has impeccable taste in art despite most art being a matter of taste per person. Fortunately for all of us Reginald is NOT the one that will be picking the Best Original Art here on the Plaza. That will be up to you. That said he has left his running commentary on the pieces nominated for your reading pleasure while you view them 1. Yellowthroat by Lailyn
An excellent piece with a great use of depth of field as well as playing with thirds. Subject is highly edible looking 10/10 would eat.

2. Windancer by Narv
A classic masterpiece, edibleness however is highly questionable. May lick but worried about cadmium poisoning.

3. River Flows in You by Yiruma performed by Nia
Beautiful palette cleanser reminds me of puddle use to wash my paws in as a young raccoon in the Shire.

4. Keyboard by Nia
Nice, clean lines, very… Crisp...y

5. Obstacle 1 by Hoglorfen
I am never one to turn down a good flambe, but I feel like we probably should have some firefighters here given the history of things on fire recently.

6. Oak Portrait by Oak
Not edible. Do not attempt to eat. But possibly good place to have nap after eating.

7. Two Friends Drinking by Rior Laegiel
Water is good, dogs are scary, one bit of my brothers tail. I am highly uncomfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today.

8. Kitty cat by Eldrith
Ohhhh Shiny… *shakes head* right taste not shiny… it’s very shiny.

9. Howie Update by Tari
Baby back baby back baby back ribs… CHILI!!!!!!!!!!!! Tasty but have a feeling eating would cause death by mother would not recommend as food.

10. The Raccoons by Fuin Elda
Raccoons are not food. But those pigs might be.

11. Adopt a Doggo by Tarawen
Would bite. Would not eat.

12. Some Creatures Skeleton by Afird Splitaxe (Drifa)
Maybe used in a stock? Or perhaps tasty marrow but pretty sure is just trees.

13. Shot today! By Eldrith
Does not look like it’s been shot with bow and arrow. Looks more like a lady that would chase us out of funeral where we have gotten into the dainties served afterwards.


14. The Last Unicorn by Fuin Elda
More flambe, possibly with skewers. Interesting combo. Do we have those firefighters on hand?

15. Library by Naur
Moths.. We have moths submitting pictures of things to eat don’t we?

16. Belemir by Fuin Elda
This is not food. This is the guy that GETS us food…. Or shoots at us not sure which.

17. Harry Potter by Naur
Is this an illumination from a cookbook? Doesn’t look edible. Looks like things that could possibly eat us or turn us into a newt.

18. Horse pendant by Vorondir
Horse is not raccoon food. Though some horses are exceptionally helpful at helping raccoons obtain food.

19. Fuin Elda by Fuin Elda
Nope Certainly not edible, also wearing armor to make less edible. Perhaps someone should watching this one doesn’t cut off her left ear or something.


Once again thank you all for sending in your nominations, and congratulations to everyone nominated! Now please head for the Google poll, enter username, struggle for hours, then close your eyes lick the screen and pick your favourite flavour.

loving the food-related comments by Reginald, @Fuin Elda I'm imagining him giving Yelp-like reviews to pubs, inns and the like around Middle Earth it needs to be a thing!

Reginald has already been into at least two different pubs. This very well could be a thing @Nessa Saelind

In the words of Gandalf... Don't tempt me Frodo

The question is WHERE would I post the reviews?

@Fuin Elda hmmm there are a few journal threads around the Plaza, why not use one of those for Reginald's reviews? The secret diaries of Reginald the Third, art historian and critic extraordinaire, featuring pub and inn reviews

One of the things that made, and continues to make Plaza special was Lore, the ability to discuss lore and canon, or what was not in fact canon – even if it was in the published books. We are absolutely pleased to bring the following posts nominated for Best Lore to your attention

Please remember that you can only vote for one, which we understand can be hard, and we do suggest going and reading the threads as a whole especially if you find these posts interesting.
1. Aduchil - ‘Why 13 Dwarves?’
This is a simple and yet very important question, why so many dwarves for such a small (comparatively) book looking for possibly symbology and meaning behind the number.

2. Galastel’s response in ‘Do you hate women?’
An excellent post on the question of the thread, and a look at the upbringing and times that made Tolkien write the way he did and how that translated into the few powerful female characters that we do see included in his works.

3. MistressofJesters response in ‘Do you hate Women?’
Further discussion on the topic of Tolkien and his feelings towards women, as well as a look into how currently ‘strong women’ are often being portrayed in recent media.

4. Androthelms response in ‘LOTR Read-Along, TTT - Book III’
The first analysis in the thread of The Riders of Rohan and our introduction to them including the biggest LOTR-roll you can send to a fan. A fantastic summary of points that are interesting and perhaps overlooked.

5. Eldy Dunamis response in ‘A question of canonicity’
A fantastic view not only on personal changing views on canon but also including how some of the writings changed based on how it was framed in terms of where the story was coming from.

6. Lailyns response in ‘Did Saruman believe he could wield the Ring?’
A branching off and new questions about other Rings of Power added to the original discussion as to what the Rings effects were and possibly why those effects were seen the way they were.


We thank you for reading this post and the nominated posts they are some fantastic discussion building or provoking posts that we hope you enjoyed as much as we did reading them. Again sadly only one can be picked

OK let me try this again with TAGS

Welcome all, to our next category - Best Character!

Whilst the beloved characters below appear in many posts, our nominations picked specific posts as their favourite features. So for each character we’ve selected a quotation from that favourite post, but please do feel free to vote with all you know of that character in mind, rather than one specific post!

HERE is the Google poll to vote!

Now, to business:

1 - @Boromir88 plays Globuk the Dumb Orc

“Globuk was a most unusual orc. Sure he had the cruelty and delighted in torture, but that was no different than any other orc. Globuk lacked the cunning intellect that was required to truly stand out. Everyone said it. The large uruks would taunt and use insults like ''Globuk is a fool. A stupid muck-raker." Of course, the uruks were always taunting orcs, but Globuk suspected members of his company would say the same.”

2 - @Tarawen plays Regdûsh

“While Reg went on - still dreaming - about all the ways he'd like to off Fleeg, a raven with ruffled feathers and a weary expression paced at his bedside, chained down and forced into serving as a rudimentary kind of alarm clock, "rudimentary" because there really was no way to set it, in part because the raven hated Reg and refused to do his bidding. Also because the raven could not tell time. So it was purely at random that the raven squawked. At this sound, Reg shot up in bed, suddenly awake and blinking bleary eyes rapidly. "Whassat?!" he grumbled. "Ah, it's just you." With a massive fist, he punched the bird hard, and it fell dully to the floor.”

3 - @Call of Bearthulhu Frost plays Beranwine

“He slipped into a reverie, recalling with the precision only an old man can, all the years he spent running around this town as a young man, chasing women, hunting monsters, retelling tales of daring do that had been so exaggerated that no one in their right minds would have believed him. He recalled a winter night he had gathered all his fellows in this very tavern to tell them a story of his scaling one of the great peaks of the Grew Mountains with naught but a bit of rope. He used to be quite a storyteller back in the day.”

4 - @Lailyn plays Maecheneb

“Dawn rose clear and bright over the Misty Mountains on a cold winter morning and the Eagle stirred at last.

She shook her head, fluffing up her feathers and then stretched her great wings out, flexing them a few times before she tucked them in at her sides. Maecheneb was young for an Eagle but she was not small and was as mighty and proud as any of her elders. Indeed she was quite keen to prove that of herself. “Keeer!” she let out a high-pitched call to greet the new day.”

5 - @Call of Bearthulhu Frost as Frost

The post is a character bio which links to many more Frost Tales!

“Broken by grief and anger, it was then that Frost began to search for a way to stave off death and even bring people back from beyond the spheres of the world. His searching led him to become a pirate, much to his mother’s distaste who wanted her son to enter the world of Umbarian politics and rise through the ranks of the Great Houses, particularly that of her own, House Castamir. He was able to win renown, however, through his many ventures and expeditions into lands unknown to many in the Black Lands.”

6 - @Nessa Saelind is Nessa de Argosy

“When upon her return to Minas Tirith Nessa de Argosy decided to visit the Houses of Healing she did not expect she was going to treat a patient almost the moment she walked into the reception area. She had planned to meet and talk with the Warden and perhaps with a Master Healer in order to discuss the possibility of her continuing her healer’s apprenticeship. In preparation for her visit she dressed in a simple blue-grey linen tunic and a dim grey kirtle (that did not make her look like a widow, despite what her cousin Bran would say) over it. Her chocolate hair was gathered up in a sensible and neat bun, and she made sure to tuck in any stray locks.”


Another Nessa post that was nominated

7 - @Call of Bearthulhu Frost plays Pazuzu

“He was a being of long patience, schemes within schemes and plots that would take hundreds and hundreds of years to come to fruition, he was not worried that he could break, nor how long it might take. But once she was broken, what could she do for him? Aspirations of world conquest and control were not his. He did not want to rule, or even ruin, the world around him. His goals were far more subtle.”

8 - @Elarith plays Amethyst Copperpick

“Amethyst gave herself a quick once over to check she was absolutely pristine. Naturally, she was. Why had she even doubted? Dressed in a purple jacket with oversized shoulder pads, tailored trousers, and high-heeled boots to give her an extra two inches in height, she meant Business.

Now that she was fashionably late - “keep ‘em waiting, darling”, as her mother would say - she could go. Picking up her handbag with Krystalle, her favourite floofy kitten, making unhappy noises within, Amethyst flicked her plaited beard back over her shoulder and strode into the tent.”

9 - @Dimcairien Luiniel plays Éomund

“But he had taken his cavalry oath now, like his father, and his father before him. It was time to pick up a sword and truly become a man of the Cavalry. Éomund bit his lip once again as he slowly reached out and touched the hilt, his fingers tracing his engraved name. For a brief second, he thought he could feel his father's guiding hand on his, but then, he felt the cool metal of the hilt as his fingers grasped the hilt. He gripped it tightly and slowly drew out the sword. Holding it in front of him, it took everything in him to not break down in tears, but even so, the tears continued to streak down his cheeks. "Thank you," he murmured, but he wasn't entirely certain if he was speaking to Grimthain or to the spirit of his father.”

10 - @Lirimaer plays Henna Lightfoot

“Old Mrs Lightfoot came by once in a while for a jar of ale and a gossip, and today was one such a day. She was carrying her stick and a large basket covered in a large blanket, which she set down by the bar as she looked for the wall clock. Eleven o'clock exactly. A very good time to arrive if one was hoping to meet up with travelling persons.

She bent down and retrieved her own tankard from her basket. "I'll have an ale please, young hobbit," she said, pushing it across the bar. "And I don't want a big head on it!"”

11 - @Call of Bearthulhu Frost plays Jorgy Underash

“Finally! He made it. Jorgy wasn’t sure he was going to make the walking club in time. He was still having lots of trouble figuring out how to walk after having never had or used legs before a few weeks ago. A walking club would be perfect for him. He could learn to walk and learn how to be a Hobbit all at the same time. Since waking up naked in a pile of ashes a few weeks ago, Jorgy had had to learn how to do many things he never thought he’d have to do. He found some clothes, okay stole some clothes but they fit him just fine. Then he realized he would have to get more of them. Hobbits were like lava snakes in that way, they shed their clothing a lot.”

12 - @Androthelm plays Quagomar/Crowhome

“He had gone far out of his way in search of the wing-herd, the flock, long delayed in returning after their migration. Now they roosted in his hair and along his shoulders, not to mention in the many branches of his slowly shifting herd and raised such a noise that it was a wonder the ent could stand it.
Still, he loved the birds — they had defended him in the hard days, when their cousins the crebain had come suddenly into the service of the Tree-hewer. Few would sing the songs of the Battles of the Birds, and few would remember the valor of Broa son of Droa and Enn son of Fenn, but Crowhome would.”

13 - @Goosil plays Silas Hardwick

“Silas had sagged slightly, due to the additional weight of his mother embracing him heavily and dabbing her eyes whilst simultaneously managing to slip a packet of bonbons into his pocket.

“Yes Ma,” he had replied dutifully; but on the very day the Walking Club had been due to start, Silas had not only slightly overslept but then been plied with a huge plate of eggs and bacon and pancakes cooked by dear old Ma, and of course it would’ve been criminal not to take his time over it. Why, it would’ve broken her heart!”

14 - @Goosil plays “The Snowy Owl”

“The mask he wore was a half-mask: a beak jutted over his nose, and luminously golden false-eyes glossed to resemble a real owl’s fierce stare gleamed above high cheekbones.

Well pleased with himself, the Snowy Owl admired his visage in a small glass he had taken from a pouch before replacing it and swanning - or owling - into the party, light-footed and silver-shod. Steel spurs were his talons. His pouch - unfortunately, or was it a stroke of genius? was sewn in the shape of a dead mouse, an owl’s favoured prey…”

15 - @Call of Bearthulhu Frost plays Fleeg

“Nonchalantly, the snot green trickster meandered into the river, wading up to his chest. It was then that he realized meandering was not a good idea when a river is in the way. He sputtered and spat and began to panic. It was then that he realized what he was doing. He was in a river! What in Melkor’s black earth had he been thinking?! Before he could goat-scream, something rippled the water and knocked him over. He went under and screamed under water until he was out of air bubbles. He blacked out.”

16 - @Allacan ob Burzum plays Kruzheld Zheng, Goblin Defence Lawyer

“He nodded in indication of completing his stance; that should sufficiently cover all the necessaries without over-labouring any points, and seated himself respectfully. He then waited to see what evidence the plaintiff Arnyn was going to present, subduing a smile of satisfaction that the woman who appeared so ignorant to both Mordorian practices and the law of injustice seemed to be leading the case herself and paying little heed to her three-goblin counsel. He did so love litigants-in-persons. They were so very adorable in their self-righteous indignity, and more often than not, so very wrong.”

Thank you for your votes!

It’s always fun to see people playing in the games and the stories that the GMs come up with. It is exciting to see what they add to the story, how they help to weave the tales with their own character and their writing. They are the other half of the puzzle piece that helps to make a successful story, or game. Without them no thread here on the plaza can thrive, these that follow are those that we have been in awe of.

You have seen many of these names before, and many posts from them, you are of course welcome to look back at their other posts that have also been linked as well as we have tried (perhaps not always successfully) to give you a taste of posts that have not yet been shared to give you a further understanding of just how the writings of these masterful RPers work speak for themselves .



1. Moriel

2. Tarawen

3. Ercassie

4. Tharmáras

5. Taethowyn

6. Frost

7. Nessa

8. Lailyn

9. Éolath

10. Allacan

11. Aerlinn (Yavie)

12. Sil

13. Thalionwen

14. Windy

15. Ta’leus


This is our second last category, and we know that with the list of amazing RPers to choose from that this will be horrifically difficult to chose but we thank you for your votes.

Wonderful to see Erfaron and Hatholdir posts in a couple of those links .

Actually, it's amazing to see such a wide variety of characters in the posts @Fuin Elda selected for this category! You did a magnificent job with this one Fuin! The creativity and range of everyone nominated (myself excluded ) is mindblowing! You are all talented, creative and shine brightly in your unique way! Never let anyone or anything dim your light Congratulations for being nominated and for making everyone's job of choosing so hard! Keep shining, keep being brilliant.

I get 14 votes for this one, right?

Cometh the hour, cometh the dramatic entrance of the almost, but not quite exiled pontifex maximus/medieval chronicler on the main stage to once again regale the urbi et orbi with her total disregard of anything resembling etiquette, or brain to keyboard filters (What are filters preciousss? Do you eat those? Are they tasty?) while presenting the last ARPY category! Why is this sentence an entire paragraph? Hello, James Joice called and wants his sentences back. Rude.

We shall disregard the above intro and get back on track if that is even possible… *clears throat* Can we have some trumpets here? For dramatic purposes? Honestly, it’s rather strange to stand here at the Forum and not have a nice legionarius or 5 here with trumpets. Gravitas, you know. It’s important.



Thank you! Now that we’re, well I’m back on track and have your attention again the ARPY Triumvirate (you know who we are by now) would like to formally invite you to cast your vote for the crown jewel of the ARPYs: Best RPG of 2020! As per usual, there is a Google Poll (provided by someone who is not me, thank you very much). Everything is presented in alphabetical order and the numbers correspond to the order in which everything is presented et cetera et cetera…

1. Edoras Burnt - Firefighting RPG.

{How it started...}

The capital city of the Riddermark has recently been unfortunate enough to suffer mishap and arson. A number of conspiracies and gatherings have inconveniently come to fruition in one single night; on the last night of the summer festival, while some have taken to the bed and others engage in late night revelries, the city of Edoras is roused as three locations in Edoras are suddenly consumed by flame.

{And now the conclusion…}

On the evening after the final day of the Summer Festival, three separate fires broke out across the city of Edoras. Thanks to the quick actions of both residents and visitors they were all extinguished before they could ravage the city too badly and a sudden summer storm bringing a quick downpour of rain ensured that no embers remained. A number of homes have been lost, significant damage done, a few sustained injuries and there has been one confirmed fatality.

{Dear reader, honestly it’s difficult to express my admiration for the brilliance of this idea, the organization and its execution. And also for the enthusiasm, superb writing and storytelling of everyone who participated in making this RPG what it is! I salute you and your skills! You are all, without a doubt, amazing writers! If you’re ever in doubt about your skill just look at this thread and see the brilliance of what you accomplished together! <3}

2. The Hobbit INSANITY: A Somewhat Expected Quest.

Orco del Oro, along with his helper, Mordor Troll, has decided to direct a reenactment of The Quest for Erebor... Unfortunately the only copy of the script got lost somewhere in the Withered Heath within the belly of some suspiciously golden dragon-like thing. Mordor Troll created the prompts and character lists for Orco del Oro, but the dialogue was left abandoned. Undeterred, Orco del Oro used his connections to send a Call-Out for casting to all corners of Middle-Earth for the Battle of Azanulbizar. Depending on success, he may continue to issue further Call-Outs for onward sections of the reenactment. Orco del Oro trusts that the casted members, based on the prompt, can make up their script as they go per the 'contract' they signed. However, del Oro has also 'brought along' a few 'agreeable' audience members, and opened the Gorgoroth Coliseum Theatre open to anyone in the public who could pay the toll. To compensate for their time, they are given food from Mordor Troll, including roasted Orc popcorn, refreshments (alcoholic and poisonous), and "Fruit". Boxes of "Fruit" are next to all audience members' seats. This is not a racketeering scheme by Orco del Oro, and he does not appreciate any insinuation on his honor and integrity regarding this project.

{Dear reader, THIS! IS! MORDOR! The amount of hilarity and insanity that is this RPG is beyond my skill to comment! How you folks managed to pull this off I have no idea, but wow! Just wow! Once again if you’re ever in doubt of your skills just look at this and pat yourself on the back people! You are very amazing!}

3. Miss/ter Meduseld Pageant run by Taethowen & co.

In the fields and hills around Edoras, a new sight has popped up seemingly overnight. There are brightly colored tents with lanterns and streamers hanging between them. It’s time for the Edoras Summer Festival! (...) “Westu hal!” one greets you. “Are you interested in gaining the title of Miss or Mister Meduseld, and representing Rohan and the King throughout Arda for the next year? If so, please sign up here! The competition will start soon! If you wish to simply observe, rather than compete, please go grab some food and drink for yourself and return in a little while! We would love for our participants to have an audience to cheer them on, and we may even need your help!”

{Dear reader, if this entry sounds familiar, I shall refer you to my comment in the Best Game category. :D Everything I said there still stands. I have nothing further to add.}

4. The Great Elvish Culinary Contest: Ån RP Game run by Goosey & co.

Welcome to the House of Master Elrond, who has graciously allowed us to use his rather magnificent kitchens for this little experiment. Who will be crowned the Cook Supreme? Within the great kitchen halls are set up your workstations: you each have three buckets of clean water and a bucket of ice; a stone firepit; pots and pans; and the hall itself contains an enormous cook’s fireplace at each end where you will be able to access spits, and place your pots into the flames to cook if you haven’t enough space to bake in your firepit. In the three vast shared wooden tables running down the centre of the Hall you have space to chop, knead, and prepare your food - except the mid most table, which is filled with ingredients all ripe and ready for the choosing.

{Dear reader, no this isn’t a glitch in the Matrix. Or is it? I mean if we were in the Matrix and I was Agent Smith I would probably be telling you that this isn’t a glitch in the Matrix… Yes, all of this has happened before in the Best Game Category. Comment still stands.}


Once again thank you all for sending in your nominations for this Greekest of all epic categories! May the Gods of Ancient Greece and Rome look kindly upon you as you cast your final vote for the 2020 ARPYs. If that doesn’t help I suggest you offer them olive oil and wine. If that doesn’t help upgrade to pigeons or rams. Stop before you get into sacrificing virginal daughters, Agamemnon you ain’t.

As you have seen from my post above, Best RPG is the last category in the ARPY awards, and with it, we close the voting phase. The voting will be opened for 5 more days, until April 13th Plaza time. So if you haven't sent in your vote(s) please submit them before April 13th 2021, Plaza time.

I hope you have all enjoyed this as much as we have and thank you for nominating and voting and supporting this! You are amazing Speaking for myself I cannot wait to get to the next phase and see whom you voted for and announce the winners for each category.



NPF edit: I know it is not completely done, but sent some shinies your way and Fuin and some golden eggs for Sil <3

Sil, Nessa, Fuin -- thank you so much for all the time you spent going through nominations, organizing, selecting snippets and putting all this together! I enjoyed reading a variety of posts and stories, some familiar and some I had not come across before.

Congratulations to all the nominees! The fact it has been so hard to vote says a lot about how talented you all are. This place wouldn't be what it is without all of you. Please keep telling your stories and sharing them with us!