Bruinen Winter Classic - Fishing Game

[Fuin Elda]

Winter has come and while the world is cold and still the deep fresh waters of the Bruinen still run swift beneath the ice and in that cold fresh water fish still swim and are quite hungry, and for the longest while the outside world had been cut off to them through thick ice however that has changed now as there are holes of light where the ice has been drilled through making them curious...

One the western bank of the shore a great area has been set up there are fires and great pots of warm drinks, and oddly a large amount of frying pans and butter near by the fires.

Nearer the water a table with a banner proclaiming it the registration table and stacks of supplies for those that might come to take part in the first annual Bruinen Winter Classic – fishing rods, line, hooks, bait, buckets and basket for holding fish, even some stumps of logs for those that don't wish to sit directly on the ice.


You are welcome to join the classic at any time, simply RP signing up and finding yourself an ice fishing hole and cast your line in with your chosen bait!

Bait and Catches

Grasshopper (D4)
Fish love these small insects but they tend to be smaller fish! Chance of Success is 75%

Minnow (D4)
These baby fish tend to attract mid sized fish that aren't afraid of eating smaller fish than them! Chance of success 50%

Frog (D20)
Large bait means large fish generally, the question is are they hungry enough to come up for the meal from the deepest waters? Chance of Success 20%

Catches

Snagged Something (0 points)
Soggy Boot
Weeds
Ruined Dwarven Back Pack

Small Fish (2 points)
Sauger
Yellow Perch
Sucker

Medium Fish (5 points)
Northern Pike
Bruinen Trout
White Fish

Large Fish (10 points)
Channel Cat
Sturgeon
Muskie

Rules:
Posts should be at least 200 characters long and have the type of bait bolded at the bottom
Any race welcome, fun and shenanigans encouraged between competitors.

THE CLASSIC RUNS UNTIL DECEMBER 20th
Updates every or 48 hrs, or 5 lines going in the water whichever happens first.
You may only fish once between updates but no limit on OTHER posts interacting with people
Please be aware there will be occasional prompts. Best response to prompts will have a chance at catching some special items.

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

Fleeg was hungry. No, Fleeg was very hungry. He and Reg had gone north for a murder party but were disappointed when they were dismissed without getting to kill anyone. Reg suggested they go fishing, it was the next best thing after all. Fleeg, having no recourse, agreed and they were off.

That was five weeks ago.

They had come across several streams, ponds, river, and lakes since then. Yet none of them were fished in. Why? Why?! Well Reg apparently didn’t think any of them were good enough (yes, Fleeg is laying all the blame of Reg despite some of it being his fault too, Reg had been upset when Fleeg relieved himself in a lake he’d chosen and after attempting to drown him declared the lake ruined worse than if a dragon had peed in it).

So they were, arrived at a random river they didn’t know the name of (they didn’t know any of the names of any of the places they’d been before either) and decided this was the place. There was already equipment here! Sauron be praised! It had not occurred to Fleeg before he saw the fishing pole that he might need one to fish and, as he had not brought one to the murder party, he didn’t have one of his own. What luck!

It was probably someone else’s. Would that stop Fleeg the Goblin? Of course not! He peered around the bends of the river. That was odd, there was no one here. No one that he could see anyway. The land around him was very quiet, the kind of quiet the suggested there were half a dozen elves in the woods doing wraiths know what to each other in the bushes. If he was quick, he could grab it and they’d be none the wiser.

Nonchalantly, the snot green trickster meandered into the river, wading up to his chest. It was then that he realized meandering was not a good idea when a river is in the way. He sputtered and spat and began to panic. It was then that he realized what he was doing. He was in a river! What in Melkor’s black earth had he been thinking?! Before he could goat-scream, something rippled the water and knocked him over. He went under and screamed under water until he was out of air bubbles. He blacked out.

He came to on the opposite bank, right next to the fishing pole, a bucket and a bunch other random items, including a piece of paper with his name on it. He sat up and shivered. What the heck had happened? Was he so sneaky that he snuck passed himself? Hmm, must be. Either way, it was time to start fishing. Yikes, why was it so cold!? He looked at the bait and pondered his strategy for a moment. There was a toad. In Fleeg’s mind, all toads were the toad of consistency, and the toad of consistency was Reg’s lawyer. He licked the toad and put it on the line. As some guy said once, “Kill all the Lawyers.”

Using the Frog

[Moriel]

Gellam the Fool raced towards the Bruinen, throwing up great clouds of fluffy white powder as he ran, lanky legs churning through the snow at a remarkable rate. The bell at the tip of his long soft cap tinkled riotously, and the end of the fishing pole he carried bounced in time with his bounding steps. It was time for the Bruinen Winter Classic and Gellam wouldn’t miss this for the world! Fishing was one of the Fool’s favorite pastimes, even when it was cold outside, and especially when there was good company and a contest to be had! At last he broke form the trees onto the banks of the Bruinen and skidded to a halt where all the tables and supplies and refreshments for the contest had been set up. Pausing to snag take up a ladle of warm sweet cider and pour it directly down his throat (why waste the mug?), Gellam wended his way over to the bait table. Taking up a basket, he threw a variety of baits into it- after all, one never knew what the fish might be craving on a particular day. Carrying in the basket in one arm with his fishing pole tucked up in his elbow, the Fool seemed one of the stumps that had been left there for sitting by its conveniently untrimmed remnant of a branch, and skipped his way out onto the ice. Plonking his stump down next to one of the holds, Gellam dropped onto his seat and placed the bait basket next to him. He fished (hah!) through it and extracted a minnow, threading it carefully onto his fishhook, before flipping it into the water. Nearby, the only other competitor yet on the ice was loading a much bigger piece of bait onto his hook. Gellam looked over in time to see Fleeg lick his toad before baiting the hook, and gave the goblin a cheery wave. “Hello there! A little lick for luck, eh? Or maybe that’s one of those special toads- I have some experience with them. Good luck to you!”


Minnow

[Drifa]

Drifa stood by the shore and looked out at the frozen river. It was such a different beast when it was frozen - appearing so much more tamer. She was not so much afraid of water, but like most dwarves she could not swim and so tried to avoid it in the milder months when it was loud and boisterous. But when it froze over she loved it and the game fishing. This wasn't the first time she had set up a tip-up line and mined for some tasty fish.

Grasshopper

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

Reg’s teeth chattered in the cold. Being large and unusually hairy for an orc, he’d done rather well this far north thus far. But the weeks of traveling through this frozen wasteland with none other than his sentient booger of a BrO meant he was starving (Fleeg having ruined every prior attempt at fishing), his patience was wearing thin (thanks to Fleeg’s frequent goat-screams), and he was ready to kill several someones (a normal instinct amplified by extended time on the road with Fleeg plus the lack of murders to be committed in that stony city to which they had traveled). And now things were beginning to freeze and frost! This, he mused sullenly, was no climate in which to spend one’s precious, angry life.

Reg crested a hill several yards behind Fleeg. The little walking defecation had gone straight into the icy water and promptly passed out.

“Ha!” Reg barked. “Serves yeh right, Phlegmson.” In one of his cleverer moves ever, Reg decided to toddle across the thick ice and thereby avoid the frigid, rushing waters. He arrived on the western bank of the river dry if still cold, and rushed over to a roaring fire and a series of tables not far from the water’s edge.

“Oi, what’s all this?” he grunted at no one in particular. He fetched himself a hot drink and downed it in one gulp. “What’s that yeh say? We get to kill stuff with these long sticks?” He picked up a fishing pole and immediately held it out like a long rapier. “We stab ‘em?? Excellent!” It was only by dim-witted observation of others (including, somehow, Fleeg) that he realized how to use the pole and bait. He selected a shiny little fish from the table of bait after scratching his head at the thought of using fish to catch more fish.

Shrugging this and all other questions off his mind, he ambled toward the river’s edge. Before settling in before a likely hole cut in the ice and casting his bait into the water (it took several tries, but we don’t need to go into the detail of his many and varied failures), he took the time to give Fleeg a swift kick in the bum, pushing him closer to the water from which he'd only just emerged. Served him right for, well, existing.

Minnow

[Silky Gooseness]

A Horrible Goose

Honk! Honk!

The goose fluffed his feathers up. Fortunately, he was blessed with a thick, warm layer of down. Unfortunately, this made him a prime target for Duvet and Pillow hunters, who longed to steal his soft, soft layers and roll around luxuriantly on them. To the goose, these people were Worse than Lawyers and deserved death.

Happily, the Goose was well disguised on the ice, except for his dirty yellow feet, which were rather chilly. He flapped them a couple of times and waddled over to the snowy banks. Someone had set out buckets.

Bait buckets.

Goose brightened immediately and snitched a frog out of one of the buckets. It croaked indignantly. Goose was just about to attempt to swallow it when a weird thought entered his tiny goose Brain.

What if, for absolutely no reason at all, he held the frog under a hole in the ice instead?

Yes. This was an excellent use of his time.

Frog

[Fuin Elda]

@Fleeg - Sadly when you feel a tug upon your line you come up with a pile of weeds the current dragged your line into. 0 pts

@Moriel - For all of Gellams enthusiasm perhaps the jingling bell on his cap scared the fish away as his line comes up with a soggy boot 0pts

@Drifa - After a little bit you feel a tug on your line when you pull it up you find you've got a Sauger on the line! 2pts

@Tarawen - You feel a tug on your line and then it goes still, when you pull it up sadly your bait is gone with nothing but weeds show for it - 0 pts

@Sil - The frog struggles a bit but goes still once it hits the frigid waters, sadly when you go to check on your frog your ability to hook it onto a line clearly played poorly for you the frogs been swept away and all you have to show for it are some Weeds

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 2
Fleeg - 0
Reg - 0
Gellam the Fool - 0
A Horrible Goose - 0

You may cast your lines in again!

[Moriel]

At first Gellam face lit up in anticipation, then fell into lines of disappointment as he first felt something tug at the end of his line, and then became aware of its lack of movement. He hauled the line out of the water, only to see someone's old lost soggy boot attached to his hook. Briefly Gellam examined it with his lower lip thrust out in a pout- could this be Lord M's missing boot from over the summer? No- that had been the subject of a prank by one of the younger residents of Linyamiril, and surely they would be more crafty than to dispose of it by throwing it in the river. Surely? He pulled the boot off his hook and tossed it aside, looking up as he went to rummage in the bait basket again to see that a raft of unusual competitors had arrived: a large orc who seemed to know the goblin, a dwarf, and a large and ornery looking (but could geese like any other way?) Goose. As the sole elven representative so far, Gellam felt it rather incumbent upon himself to start pulling in fish, and so he baited his hook and flopped it back in the water! Second chance lucky?

Minnow

[Yávië]

Tevildo Vardo Meoita

Winter, Tevildo noted, was bad for sneaking. No matter how closely he pressed his belly to the freezing snow, no matter how silent the fall of his paws, he stood out like--well, like a black cat on snow. He settled for a princely saunter instead and minced his way to the bank of the Bruinen with his nose in the air.

He was the incarnation of shadows, the evil before Sauron--he could out-uppity uppity elves any day.

The great, lithe cat made his way to a trio of intriguing buckets and sniffed at them carefully. He sampled a grasshopper, or two, nibbled on a minnow, and dared any onlookers to challenge him with baleful yellow eyes. Hmmm, mediocre. He had expected the elves to provide better provender. He sniffed indignantly and dragged a frog out of the last bucket by the leg. It struggled and squirmed to get away.

Excellent--what it lacked in flavor might be made up for in entertainment.

Tevildo released the frog and let it hop frantically away for a few seconds before pouncing after it. They both landed on the rough ice of the river in a skid. The Prince of Cats batted the hapless creature around the Bruinen, winding through the odd collection of beings that had gathered on its surface.

The frog reached one of the strange holes that revealed running water and jumped for it. Tevildo caught its back foot in one sharp claw and pinned it to the edge of the ice. The frog's body dangled in the water but Tevildo shuddered at the thought of lowering his paws into that icy rush. A stalemate!

Froggity frog!

[Silky Gooseness]

A Horrible Goose

Honk honk HONK! honking stupid honk frog hissssssss it probably wouldn’t have tasted good anyway honk honk honk honk honk it was a thin honk weedy frog and obviously WEAK to cease struggling in that icy water we thought honking frogs liked honk honk water anyway honk

Honk honk honk, honk honk? Hmmmmmm. Honk honk honk waddle waddle waddle.

Mmssss

Let’s try a minnow?

SPLOShHh

Is that a CAT? HISSSSSSSSSSSS!

Minnow

[Drifa]

Drifa sat with her feet on a stump. She had cooked up her fish on shore and was now ready for more. The small Sauger had been a treat (plus the drink), but the Sauger had been an appetizer. She was ready now for the main course.
With her line on the special tip-up she had constructed, she sat back watching it descend into the ice hole and the cold water below. She was pondering on the size of the hole. Would a Musky slip through it? She had caught a few muskies in her day. If it was not to late in the season, they were quite a thrill to catch. But they did become somewhat lethargic as the water got colder. And they put on some hefty weight in late Autumn. This was not due to frenzied eating but the slowing down of the muskies metabolism. One could almost pick them up. She would have to stick her hands down into the water and pull up the fish if it had no fight. Deciding that she didn't want to be soaked to the elbows, she pulled in her line and began to chip away at the ice around the hole.

Frog

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

No sooner had Fleeg tossed the frog into the water than he realized something was amiss about it. It was swimming away. Fleeg contemplated the strangeness of this event, only to feel a solid boot to his ass that sent him nearly careening into the frozen waters again. He managed to stop himself, using the ground to break his fall. Being that he was around people he didn’t know, he refrained from goat-screaming, but only just. He had a feeling he’d be goat-screaming at some point in this competition. Apparently, too, this was a competition! Who knew?!

Returning to the present at hand, Fleeg picked himself up and turned around to see Reg, his ChAoS BrO, giggling to himself. The goblin narrowed his eyes at the oaf. He glanced about, searching for a quick means of revenge. The only thing in reach was a minnow. Shrugging, he picked it up, licked it, and chunked it straight at the orc’s stupid face. “Take that fish face!”

Feeling proud of himself, Fleeg returned to his stick. He looked over at the elf (Gellam) who had said something to him before he was so rudely booted bv his buffoon buddy. Fleeg blinked as he looked at him. He was… cool? Fleeg didn’t know what was cool about elves. He had no clue if this elf was being polite, friendly, or making fun of Fleeg. Maybe it was the toad. Fleeg realized his hands were much larger than they were supposed to be and they were blue, not green. That was one strong toad! Fleeg became fascinated with his hands. If he licked another toad, maybe he could grow a sixth finger. He had a sixth toe, maybe he could have some symmetry. He winked and made finger guns (finger crossb-bows?) at the elf. “I’m Fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg,” he said, unable to stop the “e” sound from coming out of his mouth.

He sat down on the ground again, very high, and picked up his fishing rod again. He rummaged through the bait and found another toad. He nodded to himself, licked it, and made sure to tie a better knot around this bait before tossing it in the water.

Frog

[Fuin Elda]

@Moriel Oh dear it seems very much like the fish are bent on making Gellams task of keeping elven honor high hard as he's managed to catch more weeds - 0 pts.

@MEOW Even with the frog pinned with a claw the cold water eventually gets the better of the felines senses and sadly slips away without a trace other than a few weeds popping up - 0 pts

@Sil Apparently the minnow worked well for the goose though it almost ended up with its head in the mouth of a Northern Pike filled with nasty sharp teeth - 5 pts

@Drifa A skilled dwarf is always prepared perhaps that's why you made your ice fishing hole bigger so that you could pull the Channel Cat that decided to make a meal of the frog? - 10 pts

@Fleeg Alas apparently licking toads may not have hindered your not tying skills but your reaction time was slow and sadly it seems a rather large fish put your line into the weeds and made off with your bait - 0pts

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 12
A Horrible Goose - 5
Fleeg - 0
Reg - 0
Gellam the Fool - 0
Tevildo - 0

SPECIAL EVENT
You hear giggling from the snow banks and find several elves quite drunk on cider and rum balls, all that left is one rumball each and a few halves of oranges that had been floating in the very strong cider - what do you do with these items?

[Silky Gooseness]

A Horrible Goose

There are a couple of rules you should bear in mind when dealing with a goose.

1) When preparing a goose for roasting, make sure to prick the fatty lumps so they melt out during the cooking and make the skin crisp; save the goose fat for your roast potatoes.

2) Never engage a goose in tug-o-war.

The Horrible Goose was quite unaware of rule 1, but had come away victorious from the outcome of rule 2. The nasty pike had taken a swipe not only at his minnow, but at Goose himself. Fortunately Goose had recoiled so swiftly as to give himself whiplash: but had also flicked the pike right out of the hole and onto the ice as he had done so. Goose triumphantly pecked at the flopping, wet body until it lay still. Then he stared at it. He had really no idea what to do with such a large fish.

Suddenly the sounds of Happy Laughter filled the air. Goose hissed malevolently and flapped his wings, padding down to investigate the commotion.

It was Elves! Drunken, happy Elves. Goose immediately began to peck out some strands of their hair, with the idea that he would attach this to his next bait item (Geese have trouble buying fishing rods, being usually lacking in cash).

Grasshopper

[Drifa]

Drifa hauled the big old catfish out of the hole and watched as it flopped onto the ice. The big fish was quite a beauty lying there with it's pale olive-blue back and black spots; it's long whiskers and rosy mouth, gulping for water and it's last breath. Sometimes it was hard to watch something die. So she tied the line to her tip-up and moved the channel cat further away from the hole. She would leave it expire in peace.
In the meanwhile, she headed to the shore for some of those taste rum balls she had heard about. As she approached, she noticed several elves giggling and acting like, well, like elves. These elves were especially obnoxious for they appeared to be inebriated. Shaking her head and hiding a grin (she too had a few too many in her day) she made her way to the area where she heard she could snag some rum balls. As she got closer to the table, the giggling elves got more boisterous and started calling out to her:
"Hee hee hee, look at that! A walking beard!!"
"Hey! Look! A DwAngler!"
"I say there, Dwarf, taking a "SHORTcut" to the rum balls? "

The elves began to laugh at their corny jokes and Drifa let it go over her head. But when she arrived at the table with the goods, all that was left was one rum ball and some orange halves soaked to the gills. She turned and looked at the elves who were now rolling in the snow like the fools they were. She knew who the culprits were. Not one to waste food, she grabbed the remaining grub and dashed back to her pack on the ice.
Working quickly she soon finished what she hoped would warn others of the troublemakers near the cooking area. Luckily there had been a good supply of wood near the fire pits and she had with her, her charcoal bits (great for leaving messages and what not). Making her way back to the cooking area, she planted her sign in the snow near the elves who were now snoring as they lay in a pool of slush.
'Let them live that down', she said with a snort.

Frog

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

Well, this fishing trip was a disaster! A disaster! Reg had tricked Fleeg into going halfway around the world to find some random frozen river populated by elves and geese and dwarves to fish when there was probably a perfectly good pond up north! (preferably one he hadn’t peed in). Two frogs, two bundles of weeds. This was not going to do. Not at all! Fleeg wasn’t a vegan! He was not a masseur; he wasn’t going to wrap people up in… wait a second. That’s not a bad idea! Fleeg took out a soggy notebook with a few illegible sheaves of parchment attached from his jacket pocket, fished around until he found a piece of coal, then scribbled “Mordor Massage Parlor” on it then stuffed the notebook and charcoal back inside.

Now, what to do about this nonsense. He was getting very hangry and… what in the heck was that noise?! Fleeg wheeled about and looked up the back of the river. Elves. Elves, elves, elves. There were at least half a battalion of them up there. He blinked. No, there was only one. He blinked again. There was a dozen or so and they were all alight with impossible colors. Fleeg looked at down at the bucket of toads and smirked. They were terrible bait, but they had their uses.

He tipped over, leaning too far in his drug influenced state, and fell into the snow. When he got up, shivering, pathetic, and annoyed, he looked immediately at Reg. His ChAos BRO must have pushed him over. That was the only explanation. Or maybe it was that other elf! He whirled around, twisting his feet up in the process and falling over. The elf was not even looking at him. Fleeg fumed. If he was going to push people over, he could at least have the decency to laugh at them and take credit.

He shrugged and waddled over to the elves (yes he had to waddle because he was freezing and… goblin logic). They were drunk as skunks (were skunks drunk? That seems very dangerous), having consumed a vast amount of alcohol. Fleeg, hands on hips, grabbed the first thing he could see with a look of disapproval and annoyance. They were holding out on him! He down the concoction, a rum ball, coughed, threw the container on the ground, then waddled back to his fishing spot. He looked down at the toads in the bucket and shook his head. They were useless as bait. These jokers didn’t even deserve to be licked!

Minnow, por favor

[Moriel]

STILL no fish!! Perhaps it was time for a break. Gellam picked the weeds from his fishhook with a monumental pout and flung them aside. Glancing down into his bait basket, the Fool decided that maybe the goblin (who had introduced himself as Fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg but Gellam was reasonably sure that was meant to be Fleeg) had the right idea. He was himself, as one of Mirkwood’s more mischievous residents, a veteran toad-licker, and well versed in the effects that various varieties of toad could have upon a person. He wasn’t especially familiar with the particular toads in the basket, but Fleeg seemed to be having a good time, so Gellam reached confidently into the basket and lifted a toad to his mouth, giving it an enthusiastic lick. It was at that moment that a cacophony and a kerfuffle arose from the bank, and her turned to see a company of drunken elves frolicking there who had not been there a few moments before! Throwing down his fishing pole, the Fool skipped back across the ice to the bank to join them, calling out greetings and turning powdery cartwheels and making mock-wounded inquiries as to why he hadn’t been invited.

Gellam really was wounded when he discovered the detritus they had left behind: one one rum ball left for him?! He stuffed it into his mouth without delay, and discovered that the flavor was not unpleasant combined with the lingering taste of toad on his tongue. He then snatched up an orange half in each hand and tilted his head back, squeezing the liquid from each half directly into his open mouth. Yes! An excellent addition to the flavor cesspool! Pelting each of the orange rinds at one of his inebriated fellows. Gellam did a grapevine back across the ice to his fishing hole. About halfway there, he began to feel the effects of the toad. What would normally have been a neat skid turned into what would generously be called a sliding halt, with the wood-elf arriving next to his stump by scraping across the ice on his hip. “Fleeeeeeeeeeeg!” He called as he whizzed by the goblin and spun to a halt at his fishing hole, “We’ll get em this time!” Scrambling to his knees, Gellam picked up the toad whose poison was providing his brain with such pleasant sensations, and held it in both hands. In true konmari fashion, he bowed to the toad, intoning formally, “Thank you very much!” Then he kissed the toad right on its warty lips, and plunged it into the water with one hand, sinking the length of his lanky arm beneath the ice, right the way up to the shoulder. With his cheek practically pressed against the ice and a determined expression on his face, the Fool exclaimed the hunting cry of the true fisherman as he waved the toad about,

“Here fishy fishy!”


Toad

[Yávië]

Tiberth, Bridhon Miaugion

The frog thrashed and freezing water splashed onto Tevildo's snout and paws. He jerked back with an indignant hiss and the amphibian tore itself free and was swiftly carried away under the ice. A bit of an Out of the Frying Pan Into the...Glacier, situation for that one, the Prince of Cats sniffed disdainfully. He stalked his way back to shore with his head held high and his tail raised in an elegant arc.

I totally meant to do that.

On shore, the atmosphere was rather less dignified that Tevildo generally appreciated. The inane giggling grated on his felty ears and over what? He twitched away from the acid smell of oranges and gave the buttery, cakey thing a careful lick. Interesting. He licked it again. Very interesting.

Tevildo was large, for a cat, and had certain...advantages, but elves made very strong rum balls. He noticed clinically that the cakey thing was suddenly half gone, his tail was stuck straight up, his eyes were wide as saucers, and his ears were twitching like a yearling on his first dose of catnip.

"Are there more of those?" he meooooooowed at one of the pointy ears. No one answered, he tried yowling. "I REQUIRE MORE OF THE CAKEY THINGS!"

Useless creatures. He snatched up one of the dangling strings they were carrying with his jaws and dragged it off towards the river. The strings seemed Very Important to the pointy ears right now, and no one ignored Tevildo without consequences. If the line caught upon a minnow or two on the way, well...

Minnow, if ye please.

(@Drifa Nice sign! )

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

Reg was not much of one for fishing or cold weather, but he certainly zoned out from time to time. This was no different. He’d reeled in a bunch of weeds and munched on them idly whilst in in the shallows of his thought pool. (There was no deep end of Reg’s intellect.)

He was jolted out of his stupor by a small, cold fish colliding with his face. He looked around. “FLEEG!” he cried. “I’m gonna kill you, yeh—“ He stopped mid-shout. A good-sized crowd had gathered, and he was drawing some stares. Perhaps they didn’t talk so casually of murder in these lands as he was accustomed to. Or perhaps huge, hairy orcs were not commonly seen fishing by this particular river.

Reg scratched his head. It seemed that the most socially acceptable form of murder at this weird gathering was the murder of fish, so Reg shrugged and wandered to get more bait. In honor of his lawyer, he selected a toad.

He spat with disgust at the drunken elves. In his focus on affixing his toad to his fishing hook, the only word he could summon to hurl at the elves was: “Nyah!”

He cast his toad-laden line into the depths of the freezing river once more.

Frog

[Fuin Elda]

@Sil The elven hair must have done the trick as between it and the grass hopper you feel a tug on that extremely strong hair and drag up a yellow perch - 2 pts

@Drifa Apparently getting your hands on the rum ball and the alcohol laden oranges has given you a wee pick of luck. Though you did not manage to catch a large fish, the alcohol that was left on your fingers seems to have attracted a Northern Pike - 5pts

@Fleeg Your wee minnow handled with after getting your hands on the rumball and the alcohol laden oranges has given you a leg up it seems as you catch your first fish a Bruinen Trout - 5pts

@Moriel Your frog and hand plunge into the icey water covered in juices from the alcohol laden oranges and after a minute Gellam feels something aside from the freezing cold biting his arm to find a Northern Pike having swallowed your hand with it's sharp teeth in your skin. - 5 pts

@MEOW Your rumball fueled minnow fishing didn't give you any extra luck but it appears that you did not need it this time as a White Fish snaps at the minnow and almost pulls the line right in. - 5 pts.

@Tarawen It seems you slipped too far into your thought shallows and the spit may have offended the fish when it landed in the fishing hole, and all you manage to catch is a Soggy Boot - 0 pts

For those that didn't figure it out The alcohol laden oranges gave you a 50% extra chance of catching a Medium fish regardless of what bait you used.


Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
A Horrible Goose - 7
Fleeg - 5
Gellam the Fool - 5
Tevildo - 5
Reg - 0

[Drifa]

Pleased with her latest catch, Drifa honed her fillet knife on a whetstone making it nice and sharp, so she could clean the fish. She had pulled a pike out of the river. It had been a good fight, but she had won in the end and the fish now lay on the ice. It was another pretty fish with dark green to olive colors and creamy yellow to white . There was a special way of cleaning a pike that removed most of the bones; for a pike was quite bony. One had to get the "Y" bone removed. So with her knife now sharp enough to split a hair, she began to clean the fish.

In less than no time at all, it seemed, Drifa had deposited the fish guts and made a fire to cook the pike. She had two small earthenware containers in her pack that were tightly sealed. One was full of her favorite ale and the other a flour mixture to dredge the fillets in. She soon had the fish prepped and the butter hot and bubbly in the pan. In went the fillets. They sizzled nicely and were soon crisp and read to devour.

Back by her fishing hole, her feet once more up on the stump; her line baited and set on the tip-up, the old dwarf sighed contently. Yes, she was pretty content with her belly full of fresh Norther Pike and a jug of warm spiked apple cider by her elbow; whilst the sun shown down on the river. Who could ask for more? Well there was one other thing that what make this fishing trip worth it - and that was the, Big Muskie!!

Frog, please!

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose twitched the hair out with a satisfied expression. This had better be worth all that effort, he thought. Tying the elf hair around the grasshopper had been a fiddlier exercise than he had quite anticipated. What wouldn’t he give for some opposable thumbs! Perhaps he should go over and bite some off those comatose Elves. Goose had no doubt they would make excellent bait in and of themselves.

[five minutes later]

A feather-ruffled Goose had retreated safely to his ice-hole after much flapping, squawking and pecking. It turned out Goose is not stronger than a gang of drunk Elves. Bullies, the lot of them. He honked resentfully, spat out some more hair, and fetched himself a minnow from the bucket.

Minnow

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

Reg had never had much use for shoes. His feet were tough and calloused and thoroughly disgusting. He’d wager there was toe fungus on them potent enough to rival his belly button shrooms - certainly strong enough to ward off disease and such. Thus, he had successfully wandered, toddled, staggered, and generally shuffled through life unshod.

The appearance of a soggy boot instead of a fish filled him with rage. He growled a menacing growl. He stamped a bare foot on the bank of the river. He leered about at the other competitors - all of whom, including a cat and stupid Fleeg! - had managed to land at least one fish.

Reg was not prone to jealousy (largely because it involved thinking, and thinking specifically about things that might not have happened yet or imagining what fun people were having without you. Reg was more an orc of the moment, really), but he definitely was prone to hunger. He wanted fish, damnit! This was all Fleeg’s fault!

He snuck up behind his chaOs BRo and crammed the boot onto his head like an ill-fitting and malodorous cap.

“Heh!” he shouted, kicking Fleeg in the back of the knees so as to collapse his legs, hoping he'd tumble into the river and disappear forever. “Let’s see ya catch any fish with THAT on!”

He fetched some more bait and greedily cast his line back into the icy water.

Minnow

[Moriel]

Gellam screeched in delight (the pain did not register, for the toad's effects had fully taken hold by now) and whipped his arm back out of the water, with a northern pike clinging to his wrist with its teeth! "Not today, fishy!" the Fool cried, and pried its jaws loose with a twig snapped from his stump. He dispatched the fish with a well placed whack to its elongated noggin, and tossed it on the ice beside the bait basked to keep fresh. Still clutched in his hand was the toad he had used for bait, albeit with a bit of a bite missing from its head. This, Gellam reasoned, was sure to attract more fish! A trail of toad brains was the way to victory, he had no doubt. Grinning foolishly (hah!), he plunged his arm back into the water and waved the toad around again, scattering bits of blood and brain matter into the water.

"Here fishy fishy! Tasty toadybrains to titillate your tongue!"


Toad

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

Here he was, minding his own business, doing his own toad licking, and Reg (it had to be that mush-for-brains even though Fleeg couldn’t see him) decided to shove a wet boot in his head. Like a cat that's had a sweater put on it, Fleeg suddenly forgot how to locomote and tumbled over, stiff as a dead fish. Thankfully, before this, he’d reeled in the fish he finally caught. However, not knowing exactly what to do with it once he caught it he bonked it on the head and threw it on the ground. His goblin senses had told him there was a competition going on and he was now determined to win!

That was, until Reg stuffed a giant boot over his head and tossed him in the river! His scream was muffled by the malodorous, half fungaloid boot so it was likely no one heard his screams for help. Not that any if them would help of course. They were all so focused on winning, or getting high, that they wouldn’t even know he was gone. Reg knew this was the only way he could win, the hairy oatmeal breath! Argh! Why hadn’t Fleeg thought to dump Reg in the river first? Poor planning on his part, clearly. The lure of toad licking was too strong.

Fleeg had been in the process of selecting new bait but in the rush and confusion, had only managed to grab another minnow.

The cold water hit him like an anvil over the head. Somehow he managed to hang on to the minnow. The thought of catching a fish, however, was not on Fleeg's mind.

Minnow, please

[Fuin Elda]

@Drifa It seems that this time the fish are as full as the fisher this time and all you manage to catch is weeds - 0 pts

@Sil A few feathers lighter after being 'bullied' by the elves after stealing their hair you somehow manage to catch another Northern Pike - 5 pts

@Tarawen Poor Reg perhaps it's the smell of his feet that is scaring the fish away as he catches another Soggy boot - 0 pts

@Moriel Eventually you feel something snag on your arm but by the time it does you've lost feeling in your arm and the frog has floated away and all you've managed to catch is a ruined dwarven back pack - 0 pts

@Fleeg You may not be thinking about fishing however the Whitefish that swam up to you had no issues with snapping up the minnow in your hand before swimming towards the surface. - 5 pts

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
A Horrible Goose - 12
Fleeg - 10
Gellam the Fool - 5
Tevildo - 5
Reg - 0

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

“Stupid river, I don’t NEED no boots!” Reg roared, flinging his latest catch (another gross and waterlogged boot) into the air.

It soared above the heads of the many gathered fishers, trailing drops of muddy water and making straight for a cheerful elf who had been speaking with Fleeg earlier and who now appeared to be using his own arm as a fishing line, given that he’d sunk it into the water and was calling out to the fish.

“Eh, whatever.”

Without waiting to see where his second boot landed, Reg shrugged and wandered away for more bait. What was it with these people and licking toads? Surely, Fleeg’s strange custom hadn’t caught on this far north. Reg selected a fat toad from the bait stock and gave it a good lickin before fastening it to his hook, adding a belly button mushroom for good measure, and casting the whole lot into the icy water.

Toad

[Drifa]

Having fallen asleep in the noon sunshine, Drifa's line lost it's bait and got it's self stuck in some weeds. Stretching from her catnap, she pulled mightily on her line until it got unstuck, then removed the weeds and baited it once more. She had secured one of the biggest frogs in the pail on her last trip to shore and stored it in an empty hemp sack that she had in her pack. Taking it out, it still looked okay. It blinked at her, which made her smile, then she stab it with the hook.

There was still a big muskie out there and she was determined to catch it. Setting her line once more, she dropped frog and hook into the water, and sat back. Looking about at the others who had come to fish, she scratched her chin and wondered if she wasn't in some kind of fairy tale. There was a goose and a cat, and a frigging fool. And two ugly goblins!! Not your typical angler crew!
Frog

[Silky Gooseness]

Another Northern Pike! Not that Goose could really tell the differences between the various types of fish. Goose’s fish categories were simple, and as follows:

1) tasty fish
2) bitey fish
3) small fish
4) big fish

In a Venn diagram, there was obviously some overlap as the circles merged to give you a Bitey, Tasty Big Fish, for example. Note Goose hadn’t put down “edible”, being of the opinion that everything is edible if you try hard enough.

Flush with victory, Goose decided to risk a

Frog

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

He breached the water like an unbalanced seal, screaming at the top of his lungs. Fleeg was too near frozen to do much else than flop onto the banks of the river and shiver. Goblins weren’t supposed to be out in winter weather like this. They had a more delicate constitution than orcs, who were thick and dumb enough to endure it. He lay on the shore shivering as pitifully as he could. For what seemed like several minutes, no one did anything to help him. What a bunch of jerks!

Still half an ice cube, Fleeg (now closer to a shade of blue than green) pulled himself up and glared at everyone. “You bunch of lickspittling bungles!” He zeroed in on his ChAoS bRo, who had just caught and thrown another boot. Narrowing his eyes, he marched (or rather waddled, he was still mostly frozen) over to the orc and slapped him with the fish he’d caught (he had flopped right on top of it when he came out, thus claiming the prize). “I swear to Fleeg the First, if you try and throw another boot at me I’ll…” he shivered and lost control of his tongue, resulting in his rage reaching a pinnacle. Instead of words, everything starting come out and screams and random syllables. Unfortunately for Fleeg, he had no idea he was speaking frozen gibberish, he believed himself to be flinging the most cutting of insults, the sharpest of jabs, and the must obscene anatomical comparisons.

Wearing himself out finally, Fleeg scuttled back to his spot with his fishing pole. He picked up a frog, glared at Reg as he licked it, and tossed it in the water.

Toad, please

[Moriel]

"Awwww," Gellam whined as he withdrew his arm from the water, holding nothing but a soggy backpack that looked like it had been through the literal wringer. No only was it useless, who dumps that sort of thing into a river?? His speculations on the morals of such people were cut abruptly short when he was hit over the head with a gross and waterlogged boot which sent the wood-elf sprawling to the ground. "Owww!" the Fool wailed, clutching his face where there was now a neat heelprint. Out of the corer of his eye as he had been pulling up the backpack he had seen the BIG orc (Reg) pulling up the boot and, his logic impaired by the toad's effects, Gellam immediately concluded that this must have been sabotage. Staggering to his feet, he bent his whole body backwards and flung the backpack at Reg's head!! Another unfortunate side effect of the toad was that although it made him feel delightfully light and at ease with the world, it also impaired Gellam's sense of coordination, and so this mighty heave also flung his body forward, in a chest-plant that sent him skimming across the ice and back to his fishing hole almost as if he had meant to do it, and knocking some new bait in the water to tempt the fishes.


Minnow

[Fuin Elda]

@Tarawen Another toad another soggy boot It seams like Reg is having no luck with the bait! - 0 pts

@Drifa It appears that the elusive muskie you are after has not gotten up after its nap yet as you real in weeds - 0 pts

@Sil It appears the gooses luck has come to an end as they almost get dragged under when a Ruined dwarven backpack catches them and goes to pull them under - 0pts

@Fleeg The toad licking seems to not have helped this time at all again as after a while all you bring up is weeds - 0 pts

@Moriel It appears that while the big fish are asleep your minnow discovers that the whitefish are not. - 5 pts

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
A Horrible Goose - 12
Fleeg - 10
Gellam the Fool - 10
Tevildo - 5
Reg - 0

SPECIAL EVENT

FOR those of you with fish - SEAGULLS are descending up you protect your fish or you run the risk of losing your fish!

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

Reg smacked his lips sleepily. That toad lickin had made him very, very tired. His eyelids felt like they weighed as much as his wargling, which was saying something given how quickly those creatures grow. His vision went fuzzy around the edges and he was just about to lay down in the snow for a nice nap when WHAM! Something smacked right into his face.

Ssllllooowwwllyyy, he removed the thing from his face and looked at it, blinking (ah, Blinky!) hard to bring the picture before him into focus. Blessed Toads Above and Below, it was a sleeping bag!! Just what he needed to get some good, cozy shut-eye in this frigid land.

An outside observer would have seen a giant, hairy orc shoving one foot into a ruined dwarven backpack and laying down in the snow. Reg, in his befuddled state, saw something altogether different: a plush, fluffy sleeping bag (with built in pillow) into which he slid his entire body and curled up. The lining of the sleeping bag was the softest velvet, and he was suddenly - somehow! - wearing flannel llama-print pajamas. It was a fishing miracle! He’d traded a gross old boot for this ample sleeping bag. He smiled to himself, letting his eyes close at last.

When Reg awoke 15 minutes later, he was laying in the snow, freezing, with one foot soaked from having been shoved into a waterlogged boot. “Whaaaaaa?” he grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. To his horror, ANOTHER boot had appeared while he slept. “Argh! Get outta here! What is this, a boot factory??” He leapt to his feet and gave it a kick with his booted foot. Back into the river it went! The boot he had worn flew high into the air and soared toward a large, obnoxious, white bird that had been making a loud HONKing sound. Seagulls were flapping about, but they hadn’t bothered him at all, so he shrugged and ignored them.

Still somewhat addled by the toad lickin, Reg decided to try out a different sort of bait this time.

Grasshopper

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose emitted a strangled, underwater gurgle and let go of his frog. Something had trapped him - a thick weight was lying across his neck. Goose thrashed and flapped until he had flopped his way back onto the ice, a horrible backpack hanging from his neck. He honked furiously, clearing the water from his beak and twisting around to see -

GULLS!

Goose hated gulls. All gulls. (seagulls don’t exist sorry)

To be fair, goose hated most other birds and creatures. But gulls were the worst. Thieving beggars. Noisy. Feathery. Hypocritical too, probably.

Well, they weren’t going to eat his fish!!!!!

Hurriedly, Goose began swallowing down his catches so far. He couldn’t manage the second pike, so he kicked it into some reeds. If any of the gulls came near it, he would be forced to... lighten the load.

Heavily, he tromped over to the bait baskets with a patter patter patter and selected a

Minnow

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

There was one thing Fleeg hated more than boring ways to kill people, and that was being ignored by his high as a kite ChAos Bro when he was assaulting him with a fish. How dare Reg just not pay attention to him! Fleeg further fumed when the toad escaped, netting him another clump of weeds again. He must have forgotten to the it to the line again. Toads are for licking, not for bait, so it seemed. Fleeg was about to tie a grasshopper to his line when he saw Reg trying to climb into a backpack. What was this oaf doing? Reg did too many drugs, Fleeg decided, his own toad kicking in and making all the colors swirl. The goblin thought about telling his ChAos br0 what he was doing but changed his mind. He wanted to see exactly how that played out. It was too bad Fleeg had no artistic skills, otherwise he’d put them to use immortalizing his brO’s idiocy for all time.

With Fleeg's nimble fingers, it inly took him three tries on two grasshoppers to get it tied and in the water. Smugly, he looked over at the elf and an idea formed in his mind. Grabbing two handfuls of the jumpy bugs, chunked them into the air in the elf’s direction. He broke into giggles when… was that gull? He squinted into the too bright winter sky and shrieked.

Gulls! Gulls were the worst, the absolute stinking worst! He'd rather deal with pigeons, who are basically rats with wings. He had to do something quick or those nasty thieving birds were going to steal his food! Maybe he could… yes, yes! A devious grin split the goblin's face. First, he threw a toad at one of the gulls coming too near his stock, smacking it dead in the beak. The thing squawked and wheeled away angrily. He threw another at one going in the opposite direction, hitting it right in the butt. Before the full could wheel around and target Fleeg ad the toad tosser, he threw a final one at Reg, aiming directing at the now waking orc's face.

Satisfied, he went back to his fishing.

Grasshopper, please

[Yávië]

Tevildo sauntered. He pranced. He strutted. Something suddenly yanked on the other end of the line in his teeth and he flailed in momentary panic, his paws sliding about madly on the ice as he lost his footing.

That was definitely, completely, one hundred percent on purpose.

The Prince of Cats let himself be spun in a half circle and then carefully regained his paw-ing and chased after the other end of his string. A fish dangled half out of one of the holes, flopping its head dismally against the ice. Well, wasn't that interesting. He cocked his head and examined it critically. Mindless bulging eyes, a decently well fed belly considering the season, a bit plain looking, otherwise.

He was still staring at it with menacingly eager yellow eyes when the seagulls arrived.

He heard them before he saw them, seagulls were like that. His lips curled away from his fangs in anticipation. "Come to join the fun, have we?" Tevildo rumbled from deep in the back of his throat. He pulled his prize fish all the way onto the ice and backed away a few paces to crouch down on the ice. He fixed his gaze on the seagulls swooping above the river, daring to come lower and lower with each pass.

Tevildo's ears pricked forward, his mouth open in a silent trill. "Oh, please do try," he purred, "I could manage a few bites of nice, juicy seagull breast in between my main course here."

Somewhere, his line conveniently slipped back into the water.

Frog, please!

[Drifa]

With a hand auger, Drifa was busy drilling through the ice in a different location. All the activity (cats and geese and fools and goblins) in the one area where she had been fishing, had stirred the muck up in the river bed causing one's hook to suddenly pick up weeds only. In this new location, she might find a lethargic muskie waiting patiently for some food to swim by, or in this case, drop by on the end of a hook.

Dipping the slush skimmer into the water, she cleaned the new hole. She had already set herself up for another round of fishing. Baiting her hook with a frog, she dropped it into the hole then looked up at the racket that was going on over by the others. The air was filled with gulls there, and they were diving down on the other anglers, causing quite a scene. The Goose was flapping it's wings and honking, the cat was meowling in a deep rumbling voice, and one of the goblins was throwing 'fresh bait' at the birds. What a waste, the throwing of fresh bait. Still, she could understand their frustration. Gulls, or seagulls as some called the birds in ordinary or familiar conversation, could be a nuisance.

Shaking her head at the antics that were going on, she sat herself down and took a swig of cider. The warm drink filled her chest with a pleasant heat. Rubbing her hands together she looked down at the hole where her line disappeared into the inky black water. She whispered a secret pray in her own tongue that only another dwarf would understand, as she watch the breeze move the flag on her rod causing it to jig slightly but just enough, she hoped, to attract a muskie.

Frog

[Moriel]

Quick as a flash, Gellam plunged his arm back into the icy water and whipped it back out with a whitefish clutched in his fingers! With a yodel of joy, he dispatched the fish and flung it into the bait basket with the rest. All those days playing hooky and trying to catch fish with his hands, finally paying off!! The Fool had just clambered to his feet to do an inebriated jig of victory, the knell of doom sounded: the harsh, braying call of seagulls. Their cries sounded oddly like someone saying MINE! MINE! MINE! and Gellam knew what they were after- his fish! Without pausing to think, he flung himself at the basket holding his bait and his precious catch, and wrapped his body around it to hid it from view. The seagulls would have to peck through him to get his fish! As his legs whipped into position around the based, his foot knocked into his abandoned fishing pole, causing the line to slide into the water, which had been baited with a

minnow

[Fuin Elda]

@Tarawen Apparently a nap was what Reg needed to get his first fish a nice sauger quite happily ate that grass hopper - 2 pts

@Sil You manage to successfully defend your fish from the gulls, however unfortunately all of the ruckus has left you with only a soggy boot to your name - 0 pts

@Fleeg Apparently flying toads were nut expected by the gulls and they are happy to eat your bait instead of your fish. Leaving you and your grasshopper to catch a yellow perch - 2 pts

@MEOW Apparently the gulls are not afraid of giant cats and they work in concert and steal a bit of your fish, however before you can get a mouthful of bird your line starts dragging you in as you've managed to get a Sturgeon on the line, how do you deal with the massive fish? (-1 pt) 10 pts

@Drifa Having eaten your fish already the gulls find it rather hard to steal any fish from you however they do swoop down and yank on the line and make to fly off with it leaving you with nothing but a bunch of weeds tangled on your hook. - 0pts

@Moriel Several peck wounds later (and a new tiny bald spot from them tugging on your hair) the gulls give up and go find someone easier to bother (apparently Tevildo) and just in time as your fishing line starts to slide into the hole with a White Fish on the line. - 5pts

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
Gellam the Fool - 15
Tevildo - 14
A Horrible Goose - 12
Fleeg - 12
Reg - 2

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose was exhausted. The weight of fish in his belly was dragging him down, and all he had retrieved from his latest expedition was a horrible soggy boot. Goose wondered if he would be able to bite the tongue out of it and repurpose it as some sort of leathern helmet, but the rush of rank weeds and water that poured out of it as he up-ended it persuaded him that he was best leaving it to dry in the sun.

He honked aggressively at the gulls but had to snicker-honk as they successfully pursued a nearby cat for his fishing hauls as well. Goose also hated cats, of course, but he respected their ability to hiss.

Well: back to it

minnow

[Drifa]

More weeds and now the gulls were diving down at her, even though, she had no fish or bait out . 'Fool birds' she mumbled as she baited her line once more. The birds began to dive at her line as she pulled it in. This didn't bother her for they never did really get close enough, they just teased. What concerned Drifa more, was one of the gulls releasing a S-bomb on her head. There was nothing worse then fishing with foul bird poop in one's beard.

FROG

[Fuin Elda]

@Sil Feeling rather full and lethargic and covered in shoe water the tug on your line of a Northern Pike should put the Goose in a honking good mood. - 5 pts

@Drifa Fortunately the gulls bored move on swiftly and you are left blessedly S-bombless. You get excited at a hard tug on your line only to be disappointed as you bring up a Ruined Dwarven Back Pack - 0 pts

Standings in the Classic
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
A Horrible Goose - 17
Gellam the Fool - 15
Tevildo - 14
Fleeg - 12
Reg - 2


A REMINDER That the last update for this is only 4 days away so depending on activity there may be as little as two more updates so get those lines in the water as this is an awfully close contest!

[Zôrzimril]

Regdûsh

His cheek had begun to sting in the cold air. Was this an effect of the toad? Or had something smacked him in the face while he’d been passed out? These questions oozed through Reg’s brain slower than a snail in winter.

He was in luck, though! For he’d finally caught something! Yum! Reg swallowed the fish whole. (Fortunately, he had the unusual foresight to remove it from the hook first.)

But what’s this! A toad, hurtling through the air and screaming, “REEEEGGGGG!” (Or so the hairy orc hallucinated.) It collided with his non-painful cheek with a horrible SMACK, then flopped onto the ground with a dismal THUNK. Jaw hanging open, Reg peered blearily around.

“Huh,” he muttered. He stopped to retrieve the toad, gave it a lick, and affixed it to his line for another try at catching some fish.

Toad

[Moriel]

Somehow it transpired that despite his inebriation, Gellam was doing rather well in this contest. Speaking of inebriation, his was beginning to wear off- it must not have been a very strong toad, or perhaps it had been dead too long. Still it had been quite enjoyable, but upon fully realizing how close he was to actually winning, the Fool decided against licking another one. After flipping his latest fish into the bait basket, Gellam pulled out a frog- it hadn't worked for him so far, but what was it the rangers liked to say? Go big or go home? It was a very large frog, so hopefully, a very large fish.

"Here. Fishy. Fishy!!"


Frog

[Drifa]

Drifa threw the old back pack on the ice and snorted. " Fool of a dwarf, ruining a good pack like that!' She then baited her hook once more. Her fingers, toes and the tip of her nose were beginning to feel the chill of the day as the sun moved westward. She was still determined to catch the big muskie. Dropping the bait into the water she watched in sink, then suddenly spat into the river three times. She then said a secret dwarf word six times; spun in circles 10 times and then, although slightly dizzy, managed to touch her toes three times - this being an old dwarven good luck ritual.

Frog

[Yávië]

Seagulls here, seagulls there, seagulls seagulls everywhere! Tevildo tore tufts of feathers out of one, swiped at the beady yellow eyes of another and bowled a third halfway across the river with a powerful sweep of his tail. Then a gaping beak found his back left paw and the Prince of Cats YOOOOOOWLED his rage for all the valley.

"You insolent, ill-bred, seaweed-for-brains, worm-eaters! Pickle-feathered sots! If I wanted to spend my day with inelegant, jabbering, poo buckets I would have stayed with the orcs! Urrrrrgh!"

He jerked his foot out of the offending beak and took a deep breath to resume his complaining when--

Tug. Tug tug. Burble. Splooooooooooooosh.

A pointed grey head bigger than his own appeared in the fishing hole for a few tantalizing seconds and then dove back to the bottom of the Bruinen. The fishing line snapped taut with a deep twang. The seagulls had seen it too and flapped warily away, taking part of the white fish with them.

Wastrels," Tevildo hissed, but it was half-hearted. His eyes were locked on the spot where the fish had disappeared and after a moment's consideration he carefully took the strand of silk into his mouth and dug his front claws into the rough ice at the edge of the hole. He waited, feeling the tremendous fish sweep back and forth across the current below him. He shifted his bite carefully each time there was a little slack, careful not to cut through the line completely.

The sturgeon grew more frantic as it rose to the surface and soon it was bashing its head and long, bulky tail against the ice. Tevildo braced his legs, growling deep in the back of his throat, and waited for it to find the hole again. This time the sturgeon erupted out of the gap with its jaws open and snapping like a dragon's. A hook was lodged deep in its throat and the line threatened to tangle around the great cat's neck and ears. He let it go.

With the fish in mid-leap, Tevildo sprang directly at it! He slammed into it with his full weight and knocked them both to the other side of the fishing hole. The sturgeon bucked and thrashed, soaking the cat through with freezing water and shards of ice, but Tevildo had the immense throat in his jaws now and his claws dug into the sturgeon's ridged back.

"I could get used to this," he purred despite his dripping coat.

It's Not Easy Being Green
(frog)

[Silky Gooseness]

Another fish! Goose was too full to eat the pike, so once more it was shuffled into the reeds for later. Still, much like Angelica Schuyler, a Goose is never satisfied. He shook the wet off his feathers and cocked his head at the buckets. He already had plenty of small fry; now was the time to try for something a little bigger. A challenge would help Goose shed some of this fish weight.

Frog Frog Frog!

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

Fleeg was no longer feeling cold and wet. In fact he was feeling quite warm and numb. T
All the toads he’d been licking and all the times he’d fallen in the water were starting to take a toll on him. He was vaguely aware of Reg doing… something, probably confusing a toad for his pet warg, but at the moment Fleeg could only feel his eyeballs so he was too distracted to worry about his cHâÔs BrØ right now. The important thing, the only thing, was to try and get this frog from the bucket to his fishing line using the power of his powerful goblin mind. This plan was clearly foolproof.

Frog, please

[Fuin Elda]

@Skwovet Alas it appears that the licking of frogs may not in fact be helping any one catch any fish... as you think you feel a tug and get excited only to find another Ruined Dwarven backpack If you get enough of them you might be able to actually make a sleeping bag! 0 pts

@Moriel Sometimes the bigger the frog the easier the current takes it into the weeds despite your masterful call to the fish. - 0pts

@Drifa Perhaps it's an over abundance of spit from all the orcs and goblins and elves licking their toads but the ritual sadly did not land you a fish instead you've gotten a Soggy boot - 0 pts

@MEOW For all your fighting and the way the sturgeon was swimming it appears it woke up another big fish that felt the need to investigate as a Channel Cat swallows your bait whole - 10pts

@Sil For all the want in the world it is probably for the best that some large fish bigger than yourself chose to avoid your bait and swim by knocking your line into the weeds - 0 pts

@Jorgy Underash Luck is with you apparently though with only being able to feel your eyeballs it makes it awful difficult to pull in the Channel Cat That downed your frog like Sil downs alcohol in On the Rocks. Perhaps it's her spirit animal. - 10 pts

Standings in the Classic
Tevildo - 24
Fleeg - 22
Drifa the Dwarf - 17
A Horrible Goose - 17
Gellam the Fool - 15
Reg - 2

LAST SPECIAL EVENT
As the contest is winding down to a close a group of little elven children come running onto the ice to all those fishing baring little boxes filled with three fancily decorated cookies. How do you react and what do you do with the cookies?

[Dungeon Delver]

Fleeg

Despite apparently having a stroke while using his telekinesis (how else would one explain the ugly formatting), Fleeg caught a fish. A big fish! He knew he had powers! He had been telling Reg that he had powers for months and the hairy mushroom refused to believe him and told him to prove it. Fleeg had never been able to summon his powers when Reg demanded a show so of course he called Fleeg a liar and tried to smother him in his sleep. But now he had proof! Real, Sauron approved proof! “Reg! Reg! Reg!” He jumped up and started dancing (whatever it was that was making him unable to move had passed clearly). “I told you! I told you! I knew I could do it. You doubting Toblerone! I win again!”

He was about to throw in another frog when a bunch of elven children began to scamper out onto the ice. Gross! Elven children were so ugly! Nothing like goblin children who came out wonderful and stayed that way.

Instead of tying the frog to the line, he tossed it back into the bucket and dove into the snow. He tunneled like a giant green worm until he was close to the water’s edge (how did he know he was close to the water’s edge? Who knows?). He stayed perfectly still, so perfectly sill that he was certain that at one point he was completely frozen. The ugly elf children moved closer and closer to him. Closer. Closer. Almost.

“Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh!”

Fleeg leapt out of the snow with all the might his half-frozen body could muster, launching himself several feet into the air. He was all flailing arms and legs and crooked teeth. The children screeched and a bunch of frightened pigeons, dropped a basket of cookies and ran away from him. He landed awkwardly and nearly fell into a hole in the ice that was supposed to be used for another fisherman (or fishergoblin) but seemed unoccupied. He howled and flopped back on the surface of the river. Once he caught his breath, the snot goblin greedily snatched up as many cookies as he could and ran back to his spot. He dumped all the cookies on the snow in a pile and beamed at them proudly.

He grabbed the toad, licked it for good luck and, instead of tying it to his line like a smart person would do, threw it instead. He seemed to have better luck catching fish when he was doing something stupid. He heard the plop and began munching on his sweet, ill-gotten gains.

Frog, please