Bear-aoke at the Bar-Bearian [A Samhain Game]

"Going to Mordor!" Cried Pippin. "I hope it won’t come to that!"
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Balrog
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Beorn has taken the night off. He deserves a break from slinging black(bear)y wine and haunches of venison all day. Not to mention he has some important errands to run involving the killing of goblins fighting to make sure evil doesn't overtake world or something, Osa wasn't really listening to him at that point. The only thing she heard was that he was leaving her in charge...

Wait, what? Beorn, the very intelligent, very grumpy, very serious Beorn, was leaving the running of his bears only pub to Osa? Something must be wrong here. There's no way that Beorn would leave Osa in charge. That's just madness right? Right? Where did all the black(bear)y wine go? Why is Osa bringing in a microphone and karaoke stereo? What is a microphone and karaoke stereo? I give up. This night is gonna be a weird one.

Well, we might as well gather 'round and drink up what's left of Beorn's alcohol stores. It's weirdly hot tonight too, like we're in Mordor or something. Weird... oh well, I'm sure that has nothing to do with anything.


Rules and Guidlines
1. As in the original Bar-Bearian, you must play a bear or a beorning (no exceptions this time around)
2. To play, just roll up and sing your favorite rock'n'roll power ballad, the only catch is, you have to make it about bears (also cite your song, obvs)
3. Osa will judge you on your performance and award you points
4. There is no limit to the amount of times you can come up and sing
5. One song per post
6. The winner will get a barrel of whatever drink you want
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
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Ursula’s journey south had become more of an extended stay than she had anticipated. Today, she was ambling back through the trees to the Bar-Bearian for a special event. Osa had promised her the time of her life and - of course - more black(bear)y wine, all in exchange for a song. How could Ursula refuse such an offer?

She entered the clearing that was the bears’ pub to find not Beorn, but Osa behind the bar. Ursula grunted. She furrowed her brow. Osa, in charge? She must have proved herself trustworthy to Beorn somehow. Perhaps she’d managed to get him a discount on all the spirits he imported for the bar. Or maybe she’d shared her take of the yams with him. Did Beorn like yams? Oh, well. Ursula was just here to have a good time.

“Hi, Osa,” Ursula said, plopping herself into a seat at the bar. “What’re all these boxes and things?” She glanced over her shoulder at the microphone and speakers. They most certainly didn’t have this kind of stuff up in the north! “Are there snacks inside?” she guessed, her tummy rumbling at the exact moment she asked the question. “Or maybe presents? Did you take these from the Lady of the Golden Wood, too?”

All these questions were making her warm and mildly uncomfortable. Was it the questions? Or was it merely that the forest was unusually warm tonight? What she wouldn’t give for a big pile of snow to roll around in! “Say, Osa, you haven’t got anything to drink with ice in it, do you? It’s so hot.”

She saw a tiny bear with markings in the shape of a sandwich on its belly walk up to the boxes and sing a long, slow, sad song about living in the belly of a beast. Ursula nearly fell asleep while he was singing. But soon enough, the microphone was free (how did she know what a microphone was? Who’s to say?), and it was her turn. She got up from her seat and ambled over.

“Test, test,” she said, booping the mic with her nose. Her voice resounded through the little glade. She grinned and began to sing.

Life is a mystery
Every bear must stand alone
I roll around in snow
And it feels like home

When I'm on the ice, I say a little prayer
I'm hunting a seal, I am a polar bear!
In the seal's death hour I can feel my power
Just like a prayer I'm a strong, fearsome bear!

I hear the seal
It's like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear its voice
Sounds like dinner!

I close my eyes
Oh Glob I hear it breathing
Up through the ice, I close my eyes
Heaven help me

When I'm on the ice, I say a little prayer
I'm hunting a seal, I am a polar bear!
In the seal's death hour I can feel my power
Just like a prayer I'm a strong, fearsome bear!

As it dies
The seal cries softly to me
I'm in control, I take a bite
Now I'm eating

It's like a dream
No end and no beginning
I eat the seal, it's like a dream
Let the bears sing

When I'm on the ice, I say a little prayer
I'm hunting a seal, I am a polar bear!
In the seal's death hour I can feel my power
Just like a prayer I'm a strong, fearsome bear!

When I'm on the ice, I say a little prayer
I'm hunting a seal, I am a polar bear!
In the seal's death hour I can feel my power
Just like a prayer I'm a strong, fearsome bear!

Life is a mystery
Every bear must stand alone
I roll around in snow
And it feels like home

Just like a bear, a seal can take me there
Just like a muse to me, it is no mystery
Unlike a dream, seals are just what they seem
Just like a bear, no choice a seal can take me there

Just like a bear, I'll take you there
It's dinnertime for me
Just like a bear, I'll take you there
It's dinnertime for me!


(Lyrics are a modified/abridged version of "Like a Prayer" by Madonna)
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

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