Mordor Caption Contest

"Going to Mordor!" Cried Pippin. "I hope it won’t come to that!"
Istari Steward
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Gotta hand it off to @Burnt Toast here, I can't stop picturing Frodo's hair about to turn bright blonde now (with accompanying endless yell of course). :lol:

New Soul
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Oops! Sorry for the delay. Thanks! Hahaha. It was all I could think looking at it.

All right, an oldie but a goodie. Have at it, all ye captioners!
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they/he/mischief

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They were in the middle of nowhere, being chased by foul, powerful servants of darkness, they lacked food, had been devoured by insects in the marshes, were lost and following a stranger into who knows where, in an attempt to get rid of a Ring that could literally doom the world.

"This is fine." said Pippin.

New Soul
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The photoshoot wasn't going well. "I said look casual, not constipated!" the photographer yelled, frustrated after 6 hours. The scarves definitely were not going to be selling well.

Warrior of Imladris
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His mother was right. One day the wind had changed and he WAS stuck like that.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Pippin was not impressed with Aragorn's survival skills.

"Gandalf would have a fire started by now and we would not have missed second breakfast."
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Storyteller
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"Wanna see an impersonation? This is what Frodo looked like when that Ringwraith stabbed him!"

Esquire of The Mark
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"You call THAT a second breakfast?"

Snaga
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Pippin missed second breakfast so much that the smell of burning orc flesh was starting to become appetizing.

New Soul
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Haha these are all excellent, but I have to go with @Lirimaer for the sheer absurdity of the entry! The floor is yours.
they/he/mischief

Warrior of Imladris
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Have you never heard that expression, Toast?
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The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

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Bilbo's students had hoped he did not actually read their theses, and had filled the middle pages with recipes for ice cream and Lorem ipsum copy-paste. But Bilbo DID read them.

New Soul
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@Lirimaer - haha! I had heard another version, but never with the reference to the wind changing. I didn't realize that was a thing. I thought you were just adding a weird/random factor to the old saying. #themoreyouknow
they/he/mischief

New Soul
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The love letter was confusing. Did she love him, or did she love him not?

Esquire of The Mark
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Bilbo was the first person to ever read Amazon's Terms & Conditions, and was alarmed to discover not only did he sell his soul, but would also be on call to provide Jeff Bezos full body massages 2 weekends a month.

Elven Enchanter
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When he received his first order, Bilbo discovered why it was a bad idea to offer Instacart services to his neighbours.
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

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Bilbo was flummoxed by the dwarves' dinner order.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Bilbo wanted to try a different ointment for stiff joints but the list of side effects was quite extensive...

"Incineration?"
Bofur: Aye, it'll burn right through the skin, but then *poof* you won't be worried about your jerky knee anymore
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Warrior of Imladris
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I hand the baton to thee, @Gwai :clap:
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

New Soul
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Thanks, @Lirimaer! Going just slightly off topic for the next one!

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Magneto: "Are you seeing this fabulous, beautiful, powerful, wise, thick-bearded, big-staffed man behind me? I wonder who he could be? I admire him!"

Esquire of The Mark
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MySpace, circa 2008, an edgy young boy's header: "i cn b3 ur @ng3l or 1 c@n b3 ur d3v1l, u ch00se"

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The Wizard and the Mutant.
What happens when two identical individuals with so-called "magical abilities" switch places for a day? Tune in tonight to view the adventure!
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Storyteller
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Gandalf decided that for this Halloween, he would be a palantír.

Warrior of Imladris
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Ian had a decision to make for the upcoming Black and White Ball.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Warrior of Imladris
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Totally what Michael Jackson had in mind when he sang "If you're thinking of being my baby, it don't matter if you're black or white."
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde
she / her

Snaga
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Many were his names in many countries, but there was one in particular that Gandalf was not eager for the people of Middle Earth to discover.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Gandalf: White shores, and beyond a far green country..
Magneto: Excuse me. Who's this?
Gandalf: *ahem* Sorry, wrong dream.
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

New Soul
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Lirimaer wrote: Sat Jul 25, 2020 9:54 am Ian had a decision to make for the upcoming Black and White Ball.
This was a tough one! But @Lirimaer, you're up!

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Okay ... amuse me with this rich fodder.

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The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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When he entered the party with the "angry eyebrows" everyone knew Elrond was serious about winning the Halloween costume pageant this year.
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Elven Enchanter
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Please applaud ladies and gentlemen for the winner of this year's Imladris fashion show LORD ELROND!
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

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I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

New Soul
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Elrond stalked out of the fashion show. Second place, just because of a little male-pattern baldness? It wasn't like he was 2,000 years old anymore!

Warrior of Imladris
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Hmmm, not a lot of love for the hip swaying stylings of the Last Homely House of the Mohicans ... no culture!

@Dimcairien Luiniel - come on down!
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Elven Enchanter
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Thanks Lirimaer: Have fun with this one everybody.

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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

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Frodo read yet another cheap romance novel in his spare time. "I hope someday someone gives me a ring." he said to himself wistfully.

Black Númenórean
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Daddy Twofoot's Guide to Hobbit Foot-Hair Care was proving quite an instructive (and necessary) read for Frodo
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Warrior of Imladris
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Foreshortening was a horrifying thing in Shire photography.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Stablehand of The Mark
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This was the reason Frodo never married; he needed a pedicure!
Minion at heart; but the horsie icons are too cute!

New Soul
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It had finally happened. Reading in a tree was the only way to escape Bilbo commenting and spoiling the end of the book.

Warrior of Imladris
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I'm not saying it takes a long time to read War and Peace, but Frodo was sitting on the ground when he started.
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde
she / her

Elven Enchanter
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Ok, I have to give this one to @Laintaen. War and Peace is indeed a long book (and no, I have not read it. Reading the first page was enough).
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Warrior of Imladris
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Thanks Dimcarien. Neither have I read War and Peace, nor anything by Tolstoy. Though I did read The Brothers Karamotsov and it was long enough. One sentence went for 13 lines, one paragraph went for 10 pages, and one speech went for 38 pages!

Here's my entry...

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I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde
she / her

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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When you hear someone else breaking copyright laws using your trademarked “they’re taking the hobbits to Isengard”
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Black Númenórean
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One look at the old Legolas Love Letters forum was enough to send chills down Orlando Bloom's spine...
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Warrior of Imladris
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When you backflip, then triple salchow into a fight and end up facing the wrong way ...
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Elven Enchanter
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That face Legolas made when he realised that elves could indeed produce a scent that resembled body odor.
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

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Orlando Bloom watching the ten hour version of They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, realizing that makes him both Narcissus AND Echo.

New Soul
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Legolas was horrified. Why hadn't somebody told him his hair was mussed?

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