Mordor Caption Contest

"Going to Mordor!" Cried Pippin. "I hope it won’t come to that!"
Balrog
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Legolas could only watch in horrific slow motion as Gimli poured the last of the elven hair gel into his hands and began slicking it into his greasy, oily hair.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Warrior of Imladris
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I choose @KingODuckingham as the winner. Congrats Ducky!
I can resist everything except temptation. - Oscar Wilde
she / her

Istari Steward
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Yay winning! Makes up for NEVER WINNING THE THIEF HUNT EVER GRAHHH. Okay anyway here's a weird picture I found of Beorn.

Image

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Beorn: So, let me tell you a story of the last person who commented on the way I dress. He died.
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Balrog
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‘Round these parts, we don’t need pants to work our axes.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
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Beorn has no neck. Beorn needs no neck.
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Warrior of Imladris
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How you doin' ?
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

New Soul
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This "before" picture of Beorn demonstrates how not to use your axe. Please turn page for "after" picture.

Istari Steward
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Alrighty, looks like that might be all we get. I'm going to pass the baton to @Tarawen , way to use a LotR line to make fun of a Hobbit picture. It's like beating up a younger sibling, in a way.

Black Númenórean
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Ha thanks, @KingODuckingham! And kudos to you for finding that super weird Beorn pic :lol:

Okay folks, here we go:
Image
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Balrog
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Gandalf, why is there a woman on here asking for Saruman's credit card number?
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Istari Steward
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Wait, so you're saying this isn't a coconut I can have for second breakfast?

Warrior of Imladris
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Pippin, did you bring that bowling ball all the way from the Green Dragon? Orthanc won't topple that easily!
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

New Soul
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Everyone: Pippin!! Throw it deep! I’m open!!!

Pippin: *trance like voice* The touchdown is mine...and mine alone! *pump-fakes and runs* *insert dramatic music* *gets sacked immediately*

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Pippin did not want to hand over the magic 8 ball when he had so many more questions for it like; when could he expect to get 2nd breakfast?
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Black Númenórean
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lol I love these! I'm gonna hand it off to @Gwai for making me imagine Pippin as an athlete :lol:
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

New Soul
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Thanks @Tarawen! Here's the next one!!

Image

Warrior of Imladris
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Bilbo said he didn't have any gold in Bag End, but oho! If only those hobbits had dug a little deeper in the cellar!
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Istari Steward
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Bilbo's face when he realizes he somehow managed to step in the pile of dragon poop Smaug left buried beneath his hoard of gold.

Khazad Elder
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Bilbo's face when he became the first Hobbit in the history of Middle-earth to actual witness a dragon pooping!!
The world was fair in Durin's Day

Balrog
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Smaug was very clever, Bilbo realized. There was only a thin layer of gold in the chamber, everything underneath was LEGO blocks.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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When Smaug awakens suddenly, Bilbo's really hoping the hours of practicing his statue impersonation will pay off!
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Doorwarden of The Mark
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It was there, in the midst of the fatigue, and the treasure, and the DRAGON, he suddenly realized:

he'd left the kettle on!

Black Númenórean
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Bilbo had never played freeze-tag in a more uncomfortable place
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New Soul
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KingODuckingham wrote: Thu Aug 20, 2020 12:23 am Bilbo's face when he realizes he somehow managed to step in the pile of dragon poop Smaug left buried beneath his hoard of gold.
Hahaha, these are all great! I'm going to give it to Ducky though! @KingODuckingham

Istari Steward
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I agree, they were all particularly great. Probably says something about the comedic skill of the actor in the picture as well as the captioners!

Image

Khazad Elder
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"Mahal! Look at the beard on that one! Yeah baby!" :grin:
The world was fair in Durin's Day

Warrior of Imladris
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"Bring me a shrubbery!"
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Doorwarden of The Mark
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It was an old dwarven trick, passed down from time immemorial: Rock a 'stache for the ages, and no-one will comment on your stupid headgear.

New Soul
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The Dwarves decided to pull off their own Weekend at Bernie's with this guy.

Black Númenórean
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"I dunno, you guys, you said this weird helmet would allow me to read minds, but all it's doing is squeezing my brain"
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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The stone throne of Erebor was notoriously bad for posture. Thror's legs were always falling asleep.
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Istari Steward
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Ooooof @Boromir88 you have perfectly captured my recent experiences. I wonder if I made that Thror face when my own legs were asleep so many times yesterday. Take us away, sir!

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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heh thanks @KingODuckingham . I've been experiencing the same it seems! :)

Sorry for a bit of delay, I had an ugly cold and fever last several days, but feels like my fever broke over night because I'm feeling much better this morning. And now, the next picture:

Image
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Balrog
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Again, Aragorn seemed to out do Boromir, and still managed to look fantastic despite not having showered in a month
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Doorwarden of The Mark
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"Oh, him? Yeah, it's an old wound. Gnarly, but he can still fight. Makes the best stew in the company, too. Poor devil..."

New Soul
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Boromir and Faramir looked over at the other team’s cheerleaders. They had no chance at snagging the quarterback

Warrior of Imladris
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It's a tea shop, Faramir. You're not going in there. What would dad say?
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Istari Steward
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Faramir: Hey Boromir, do you think we should invite that new kid to come sit at our lunch table?

Boromir: Ugh,no way, he doesn't even have our super special white tree shirt, we'd be making ourselves total losers like him.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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Thank you for the great entries. I did a coin flip for this one because I couldn't decide. @Hoarfrost, you're next, Boromir is definitely looking salty :grin:
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Balrog
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There were plenty of amazing captions, y'all are hilarious! Thank you @Boromir88 for believing I was somehow worthy. Let's see what you can do with this old classic

Image
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Istari Steward
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Pictured: Thersites, moments before Odysseus whips out his scepter and beats the tar out of him.

(This is an Iliad joke. For reference, in Book 2: "Evil-favoured was he [Thersites] beyond all men that came to Ilios: he was bandy-legged and lame in the one foot, and his two shoulders were rounded, stooping together over his chest, and above them his head was warped, and a scant stubble grew thereon.")

Doorwarden of The Mark
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"You! In the back! That's right, you got a question? I said none of you are released for the weekend until I get three questions!"

Warrior of Imladris
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Chief Wiggum was enjoying his work-swap. At last people were listening. He was keeping the whip.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

New Soul
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Half goat, half orc...Melkor was running low on evil henchmen

Elven Enchanter
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The newest choir director for Mordor certainly had an interesting taste when it came to choosing to use a whip to keep order among the singers.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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When orcs gather for their weekly "Guess the spy" game night, it always turns hostile.
A Loquacious Loreman.
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Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Black Númenórean
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Tell ya what, dipshire. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ol' warty butt.

(Really hoping someone gets the reference to another classic)
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Balrog
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You have all made me very proud! All the references and in jokes were perfect! @Dimcairien Luiniel you are up!
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Elven Enchanter
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Thanks Frost! Ok, here goes.

Image

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