Who Would Win... (A Samhain Game)

"Going to Mordor!" Cried Pippin. "I hope it won’t come to that!"
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Balrog
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Have you ever wondered which of the Disney villains was the best? Which one could chop through the rest and stand on a mountain of defeated foes to be proclaimed the best? Or maybe you've wondered which one of them could scarf down the most hotdogs in 60 seconds or who would win in a race around the globe? If any of those sound like you, this is the game for you!

Here's how it'll work:
I'll give you all a scenario (Hades vs Scar vs Hans, who eats eats the most ghost peppers before keeling over) and you tell me who wins and why. The best answer gets to pick the next round of competition and combatants.

Round 1!
Between Flotsam and Jetsam, Pain and Panic who manages to build the tallest Lego castle?
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Thain of The Mark
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The most logical (or maybe just obvious) argument would be that Pain and Panic would build the tallest Lego castle because they have hands. However, if Flotsam and Jetsam are building their Lego castle underwater (because, you know, eels) then eventually they're going to have an advantage because they're not limited by height as much as Pain and Panic, since Flotsam and Jetsam can swim higher and higher to build their castle.

So, the real issue comes down to if there's a time limit. If each set of partners must build their Lego castle in a set amount of time, then Pain and Panic will likely build the tallest castle because they have hands and will be able to build it faster. Flotsam and Jetsam, though, have to figure out how to build their Lego castle with their mouths. It will require far more teamwork and coordination for them. However, once they get into a rhythm, and if there is no time limit, then they have the advantage with being underwater, as mentioned before.

So, since the original question simply asks who builds the tallest Lego castle, and makes no mention of time constraints, the answer is clearly Flotsam & Jetsam.

New Soul
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I'll also go with Flotsam & Jetsam, but for different reasons:

Ursula clearly loves F&J, and Hades really doesn't care that much about P&P. P&P are more servants than beloved family members. As a result, F&J are going to cheat by asking their "mom" to help them (and with a little magic, too), while P&P are on their own, and they clearly can't organize anything on their own anyway.

Arien
Arien
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I’m going to argue that Pain and Panic would do better.

Why? Not only do they have hands, as mentioned by @WRONG LEVER KRONK!, but they can shapeshift.

This means, surely, should they wish to, they could carry out their task under exactly the same circumstances as Flotsam and Jetsam if they wished to go underwater; or, more likely, they would simply have one or both of them transform into a flying form in order to build the castle higher.

If they chose to work on land, as well, air resistance is much lower than water resistance, so they’d be able to work faster, were a time limit involved.

(That being said, they appear to be a less competent and more neurotic pair than the Eels, so the quality of the Lego castle would likely be suspect.)
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Black Númenórean
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Flotsam and Jetsam only because Pain and Panic would build a nearly-perfect Lego castle but forget one crucial piece, and it would all come crumbling down upon them 18 years later
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Balrog
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This round goes to @HONK HONK! The mental image of Pain and Panic shapeshifting from bird to fish and back whilst arguing the whole time is fantastic. I would much rather live in a Lego castle of Flotsam and Jetsam's than Pain and Panic but that wasn't a requirement of the round (also I can' t breath underwater which would render the castle unlivable for me in the first place).

Sil, it's your round; go for it!
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Arien
Arien
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woop woop

Round 2

Who would most impress your family if you took them home for tea, Hades or Ursula?

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New Soul
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Probably Hades. While Ursula can ooze charm if she wants, and there's definitely something to be said for bringing a Sea Witch home for dinner, between Hades' charm, blue hair, and harrowing stories from running the Underworld, he would keep the family entertained the entire dinner, not just during appetizers. I see Ursula losing it and cursing the fam before we're even done with the awkward pre-dinner crackers and cheese spread "And what do you do for work? How long have you lived under the sea?" part.

Storyteller
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Gwai stole my answer.

Warrior of Imladris
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Ursula is a large and smiling woman of colour (grey, in her case) and Hades is some creepy dude with an up-do who guards the mortuary so the dead don't sneak out. Purely in terms of conversation, I'm thinking Ursula would be talking about things people are more comfortable with, but also Ursula would be least likely to turn down whatever you'd cooked, while Hades looks like he's turned down a few good meals.

When it comes to companions, single ladies of a certain age do tend to get a little, er, eccentric*, but any mention of Persephone's odd contract and I feel that my family would be taking a very dim view of Hades' moral code.

Also, who has crackers and cheese before dinner? It is clearly an alternative to a sweet dessert!

* from a Certain Point of View
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Dúnadan
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Honestly I think my family would be concerned if we suddenly started drinking tea. If we're talking immediate family, definitely Hades. I feel like he and my husband have a similar enough sense of humor that they'd get alone, and my son is obsessed with flames (yaaaay) so he'd probably enjoy Hades being on fire.

Arien
Arien
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Hmm... A tough one, but I’m going to give it to @Lirimaer!
cave anserem
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Warrior of Imladris
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Why thank you! :smooch:

Round 3

Who's harder to give gifts to on Mother's Day, Mother Gothel (Tangled), the Evil Queen (Snow White) or Lady Tremaine (Cinderella)?
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Warrior of Imladris
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Eh, okay ... I guess that wasn't very inspiring as a choice.

Whoever wants to do a new one, go ahead.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Arien
Arien
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Ha - now that you’ve bumped it I have thoughts. It would clearly be Lady Tremaine, because you have two competitors for gifts - Anastasia and Drizella - and Lady Tremaine clearly favours them. Gothel would probably be the easiest to give a gift too, because she clearly appreciates what Rapunzel can do for her even if it’s only youthification. Obviously the Queen is homicidal, but I don’t think she’d be as crushing if you tried to give her a gift.
cave anserem
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Warrior of Imladris
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And the winner is ... Sil!

And I agree with you too, although you still would have won if I had not.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Arien
Arien
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Excellent. I love winning, especially when the victory is assured.

Round Four

The contestants are pitted against Babe in a sheep-herding contest. Who does better, Simba from The Lion King, or Timothy Mouse, from Dumbo?
cave anserem
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