Thief Hunt::Series V

"Going to Mordor!" Cried Pippin. "I hope it won’t come to that!"
Balrog
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Laznilgosa was the child of Glaurung! What did she have to fear? She hissed at the giant ferret thing and it scurried off, frightened by the absolute power the lizard exuded. It was not because the George had something better to do or something more interesting to eat. No! It was because she had scared it off! She flicked out her tongue and tasted the air again. She caught the scent again, a strange, musky odor, something earthy and mossy but still moist. She was certain it was food. Undaunted, she skittered on, making her way past a troll counting needles and a ghost swinging about in the rafters. Nothing took any notice of her. She was too quick, too quiet. Why, if she wanted to, Laznilgosa was very certain she could have snuck into The Towers of No Return and come out a victor. She roared a tiny roar the slipped under a door. The room she found herself in was large, larger than the others, and it had a hole in the middle, a very large hole that looked like it was made there on purpose. The smell was coming from the hole. She slithered down, using her claws to slow her descent and beheld the glory of the mushroom pit. All shapes and colors and smells. It was a forest of rot and decay and stink that only a true fungal connoisseur could appreciate. Luckily, she was exactly that. Yes, she didn’t just eat other lizards that were too small and weak to defend themselves, she was a mushroom sommelier! Whoever it was that made this mycelium heaven, the one she heard called Reg was a likely candidate, he seemed to be able to grow mushrooms on his person, was a gift from the Demon Queen of Fungus herself and Laznilgosa would be his loyal follower for the rest of her life. What sort of gift would he accept? The rotting corpse of a Lava Snake perhaps? Something to grow and expand the mushroom pool. She nibbled on one that looked like a purple flower and watched as all the colors began to blend together.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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"Yes! I managed to catch another one!" Naelia thought to herself as her persistence seemed to have payed off. Hoping to do so again, she set off to catch Mordor's latest thief. "It never ends with these thieves!" the minioness thought to herself as she began to search for clues as to the next person who thought that they could get away with taking something from the Dark Land.

Now finding herself searching in the new location known as the Uhhhhhhhh Spa, the minioness tried to track down both the item stolen and the person responsible. Just when she thought that she spotted someone that was trying their hardest to conceal their identity, Naelia nearly tripped over the Hauberk of Angmar once again. "This again?" the minioness thought to herself. "Can't these thieves acquire these items some other way?" she often wondered when she noticed that she heard some familiar snickering that she hadn't heard in a while. It turned out to be that the Hobbit Dwim was up to his old tricks again, and Naelia was determined to catch him before something else mysteriously disappeared.
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The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
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Fuin can bring ruin, but only if you don’t eat what she’s been stewin’” The nonsensical rhyme had been in Felanar’s head all day. She had no idea what it meant or who it was that had been singing it in the middle of the Black Market but the song was giving her a headache. Why couldn’t she stop singing it? It wasn’t even that clever! If her head was going to burst from a cursed song, at least it should be a good one. Baby Shark? Amateur hour. MMMBop? Child’s play. The Song that Never Ends? Laughable. Yet all of them would be preferable to this nonsense. Who was Fuin? What’s in her stew that prevents ruin? These were questions that Felanar needed to have answered before she died. Those and maybe the name of the person that sang the song that cursed her to begin with. To stave off the inevitable exploding head, she went to the spa. It was designed for orcs and goblins after all. She had never heard of acupuncture but it seemed dangerous enough to give it a try. Well, maybe not. She read the requirements for her to wear a Sequined Bumflap Onesie during the treatment and decided maybe a simply lava rock massage would do the trick instead. Sticking needles in her face was one thing, but wearing a glittery piece of nonsense was a bridge too far. Orcs have standards after all.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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Not finding anything of interest in Mordor's newest establishment (though she still thought it was a good place to take her half-sister, Lathana, as punishment for attempting to escape. She would really have to look into that), Naelia now found herself searching around the Morannon to see if the person responsible was trying to escape the Dark Land with something that didn't belong to them.

On her way there, the minioness could have sworn she saw Blinky slithering away to a spot that she hadn't checked yet. "Is this the spot he hid the item he managed to make off with?' Naelia thought to herself as she continued to track him until she came across none other than Irime's Wine Stash seemingly stashed in the middle of nowhere, waiting for someone like the minioness to come around and discover it. "Good thing I don't drink much, since I don't need any drink making me do things that I might end up regretting the following morning." Naelia thought to herself, though "morning" was hard to come by in Mordor where it was always dark, due in part to the local volcano.
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Black Númenórean
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The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!


@The King in Yellow within the Black Market you have stumbled upon Shelob's Lair! Herself is branching (webbing?) out! Shelob has decided to expand her territory, and you have stumbled upon her. You must RP your escape before hunting again.
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Balrog
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Felanar’s mind began to wander. She was too busy imagining that lava rock massage. That’s what she’d blame it on at least. Trying to get the cursed song out of her head, she began to amble through the streets and byways of the Black Market. It was an easy place to get lost in. Without maps, or street signs (or streets really it was just a jumble of space really) it was a herculean task just to the store one wanted and out again without running into a roving gang of feral children or spider riding goblins or some other less than probable event. Speaking of improbable events though, Felanar thought her feet were sticking to the ground a little too much. Thinking it was just a wet pool of blood for a warg training session gone wrong, she looked down to determine the source when she found out what the stickiness really was. Spider-web! There had been a lot of spider webs here about recently. A lot, a lot. The great spider momma was probably working with some rich bougie orc to drive the rent prices down so he could buy up Black Market property up cheap. Or, more likely, she was just bored in that giant cave system of hers and wanted out for a bit of fun. Either way, Felanar realized she needed to get the ever hating crap out of the area before her bumblings were noticed by the gargantuan arachnid. The orc tiptoed her way through the web, cringing every time she stepped on the web. She should have learned to walk in heels, it would be easier to maneuver around rather than trying to clomp around in iron tipped boots. Was that a leg? That was a leg. That was another. And there she was! Felanar gave up all pretenses of being subtle and booked it. She was halfway through the market and on her way to the legendary “On the Rocks” pub when she remembered all the stories about there being some portal to the center of Mt Doom that kept opening up and swallowing people and thought better of it. So the question now presented itself: the Uhhhhhhh Spa or the Necromancer’s Guild?
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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Globuk saw Winddancer and his spirits immediately plummeted. "Ok, new lesson Gripper. Don't ever get in the way of the Nazgul from Minas Morgul. Even they give me the willies. They have a look that makes you feel they'll skin you alive." Globuk shuddered.

Gripper barked to say he understood, but the noise caught the attention of Winddancer. Globuk waved "just tryin' to train my warg some new things" he laughed nervously. Winddancer let out a shriek, and appeared to slip on the One Ring and disappeared.

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The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!


@The King in Yellow, you may now hunt again!
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What was that lady orc running from? Hoppla was very confused as he and his best friend Sarghêst took another walk through the Black Market. There was no game of fetch this time though, this time they were on a training mission where Hoppla needed to learn to stay by his buddy’s side no matter what crazy thing happened. Oh! She was running from a spider. That was very sensible. Very sensible indeed. Hoppla wanted to dart after the spider and howl at it, but he had to remember what Sarghêst told him: “Even if the Dark Lord comes down with his One Ring, you stay beside me.” That was exactly what Hoppla was going to do. He had no idea what a Dark Lord was or why he would have just one ring, but his friend understood and that’s really all there was to it. Hoppla wanted to be a good boy, one might even say, the goodest boy. Their walk was an entertaining one. They walked by the shop “That Dark Corner” and a goblin ran out with his hair on fire! How crazy is that? Was the Black Market always this filled with stuff to see and smell? Hoppla hoped so, he loved it all. Oh look! There goes a chicken! He started to run after it, taking a single step but then remembered Sarghêst’s words. He was a bit dejected that he could not chase down another chicken, but that disappointment soon vanished when a fragrant piece of fish was produced! Hoppla chomped it down with a big mlem and looked up at his buddy with the most appreciative cross-eyed gaze. He was the best, this orc. Much better than that goblin who was still running around screaming. Wasn’t he the one that owned the spa? What was his name? Goblin names are funny. Fleeg was it? Hoppla itched instinctively. Fleas were bad, but Fleegs were even worse.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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"So, someone thought that they could make off with the One Ring did they?" Naelia thought to herself as she discovered what had recently gone missing. As to who it was or where they were hiding was still a mystery to the minioness.

Finding herself searching through The Shadowy Rafters once again, Naelia kept her eyes peeled for the person responsible for trying to take her Master's favorite weapon and for any unsuspecting traps. "You never know with these thieves!" the minioness thought to herself as she could have sworn she saw the Hobbit that seemed to be a master of disguise, the one that liked to call himself Jorgy. "These Halflings are nothing but trouble!" Naelia thought to herself, as she continued to track him through her native homeland.
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The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Oh boy! Hoppla was having a hard time containing his excitement. He could sense excitement, even nervousness, from his friend Sarghêst today. They were doing another Black Market walkthrough again, Sarghêst said it was help acclimate Hoppla to all the sights and sounds of a chaotic environment and still listen to commands, but Hoppla thought it was just nice to try and explore all the weird smells, when all of the sudden a big orc showed up! A huge one! The biggest Hoppla had ever seen (seeing only three up close in his lifetime thus far). His back was twisty, or he might have been as big as a troll! Hoppla had never seen a troll but assumed they would be that big. Sarghêst seemed to know who he was though so Hoppla didn’t get scared or start growling. His name was Swiltang and he had scary glowing eyes. They were the coolest thing Hoppla had ever seen! When was Sarghêst gonna have those? He’d look like the coolest orc ever; maybe even Hoppla could have scary glowing eyes too! Wouldn’t that be the best? Hoppla could feel himself get excited. He started stamping on the ground, eager to start running and playing and biting. He was a big, overstimulated pupper. A stern look for his orc best friend reminded him that he needed to settle down. He wanted to go run and play so bad though! He wanted to jump and bite and growl! No. He was a good boy. Hoppla was supposed to stay by his friend at all times when they were out. “Even if the Dark Lord came down with the One Ring” Hoppla remembered, he whimpered a little, sad that he couldn’t show off for Mr. Swiltang and show him how fierce he was and how cool Sarghêst was. He would get his chance; he knew he would. Mr. Swiltang told Sarghest to report to a place called Barad-dûr. Hoppla had never heard of that place but it sounded like a place were Hoppla could go running and playing! Oh boy!
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

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"Where could the thief that managed to make off with the One Ring be hiding?" Naelia thought to herself as Mordor's latest thief continued to elude her.

Finding herself searching through Dhad Burz once again, the minioness became a little apprehensive, since wasn't this the place where she encountered a Rat King during a previous hunt? Keeping her eyes peeled for both the elusive thief and any unsuspecting traps that they may have set up for her or anybody else that was closing in on their hiding place, Naelia could have sworn she saw Narv sneaking around the nearest corner, cradling something in his hands like the creature Gollum would, and decided to track him to see if she finally managed to discover the thief's identity.
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The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
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Hârold von Zautok (Hârry to his friends) was looking for his son. He was looking for his son because he needed a drinking buddy and most of his friends were at work. Hârry technically had a job too, but this was not the time to worry about such technicalities as “employment”, not when there was drinking to be done. His oldest son was a stick in the mud, a nerd of librarial proportions. Art wasted his enormous enormousness on being book smart. Hârry had yet to learn to spell his own name. ‘X’ worked just fine for him! Reg though, that was a boy after his own heart! He went by his younger son’s house and found it full of dead birds. The boy clearly had a good alarm system, Hârry couldn’t have been prouder of his boy. Like as naught, he’d be over at On the Rocks if he wasn’t here, probably hanging with his pal Fleeg. Hârry wasn’t sure what to think about Fleeg. Sometimes he was a genius, a schemer, and an artist, other times he was dumb than ten pounds of shire in a five-pound sack. Would that overly friendly Rohir lady be there too? What was her name, Thali On When? He had questions about this coffee stuff. Reg told him about. Said it was bitter as all hell, but it was rich and smooth too and it kept you awake for three days straight. He had to see this! The last time Reg had a good idea it was the geode mining operation and that had worked out perfectly! Reg loved the geodes like the Dark Lord loved his One Ring. Damn, Hârry was thirsty!
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
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The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
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Well that was typical. As soon as Hârry wanted to hang out with his son in the bar, the place was closed. Closed! Who closes a bar? He thought about breaking the windows of the place, but being unable to find any, he decided to find something else to do. He didn’t want to go home. Êmily would be there and she would want him to do something like the laundry or take out the garbage or something. Can’t an orc just loaf around his cave in peace?! There had to be something he could do. He watched as a human woman, Naelia was her name, maybe, snuck around the other side of the pub. That was weird. She was some sort of thief hunter, wasn’t she? One of those people that went out and tried to earn a living by being ultra sneaky and snitching on folks doing (dis)honest work. Still, the pay was supposedly very nice. Hârry wondered, not for the first time, if he could find a way to both catch the thief, collect the bounty, and still make off with the item and fence it to a new buyer? Sure objects like Swiltang’s Dignity or The One Ring were impossible to fence, but a fell beast or a barrel of hobbits was usually doable. The old, hairy orc weighed his options. On the one hand, he could simply stay here and wait for the pub to open, surely it would open soon and Reg and Fleeg would be here shortly and they could all have a beer and make fun of Art and Mig or whatever is name was. On the other hand, he could follow this puny looking human girl, wait til she caught whatever thief there was to hunt, swoop in and steal the credit and hide the item. That did seem like a lot of work though, and he’d have to follow her to wraiths knew where. She might end up in Cirith Ungol covered in spider guts or get caught in a Cloud of Ash. Yeah, Hârry knew what he had to do. He was not going to end up having to do the laundry again because he came home with ashy clothing. All the gold in Udûn wouldn’t save him from his wife’s wrath.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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Êmily was out for a walk. Power walks were good for the soul, especially when one was in anguish over such tragedies as a rude manicurist or an incompetent barista at the local coffee shop. This morning, she had had the great misfortune to experience both. Instead of the Triple, Extra-Large, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato she had ordered, she angrily clutched a cup containing only TWO shots of espresso and 2% milk. TWO PERCENT! What was the world coming to? Her figure would surely fall apart with that much fat. She stopped at the edge of a gorge and flung the coffee into the abyss. “Hmmph!” she grumped.

An orc of her breeding and of her family’s rank should not need to repeat her order, much less have it prepared INCORRECTLY. And that abhorrent snaga manicurist! It had pulled on Êmily’s poor, soft fingers and practically flayed her with the nail file. When confronted about its aggressive manicuring, the snaga had spat on the ground and quit on the spot. Poor Êmily had to storm out of the nail salon with only two painted nails, her delicate hands red and raw, and the beginnings of a headache. That snaga reminded her of her idiot son Reg in all but looks - completely uncouth, incompetent, and ill-bred. (No matter that Reg was, after all, Êmily’s son. He was his father all over again, and it would do her migraines no good to dwell on HIM at this trying time, particularly since her coffee had been so lacking in oomph and so high in fat content.)

She was just hitting her stride in her power walk when she noted a foul stench lingering on the air. Something rotten and ripe - perhaps even the ungroomed buffoons she was cursed to call her husband and son - must be near. She clutched at her pearls and pinched her nose. “Vomitrocious!” she exclaimed, hurrying off to The Halls of Injustice. Maybe she could ask Búbosha to help her file for a divorce. She couldn’t quite offer the One Ring as a bribe, but she had some crisp, fresh bills of poison which she would gladly exchange for help with this administrivia.
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

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"Me? A thief? Looks like someone is trying to set me up!" Naelia thought to herself as she overheard one of the hunters placing their suspicion against the minioness herself. Since these hunters came from all over Middle-earth, not just Mordor (perhaps they wanted to make sure their lives were spared once the Dark Lord took over), it was only a matter of time before suspicion was placed upon her. To clear her name, Naelia would just have to capture the thief herself and prove her accuser wrong.

Finding herself searching Beneath a Rock, the minioness suspected that the real thief must be somebody small, because there was no way she herself could hide beneath something that small unless she dug a hole underneath it first, but perhaps this was just where the thief had hidden the One Ring? Besides herself, who else was overlooked?

Just as she was contemplating this, Naelia could have sworn she saw Uruva sneaking around the area, almost as if she had lost something. "Lose track of the item you just stole?" the minioness thought to herself, as she began to track this new "person of interest" through her native homeland.
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Black Númenórean
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The thief HAS been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place HAS been found!


@Tarawen, within the Halls of Injustice you have stumbled upon the Murder Hornets! The thief has managed to relocate a nest of enormous, deadly, ANGRY hornets from the far east into this place. You must figure out a way to escape with your life before hunting again.
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Balrog
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One Ring, two ring, red ring, blue ring,” Tarkanalio recited the old nursey rhyme his brood mother taught him to help calm his nerves and help him focus. He needed to focus today. Today was the big day, the job interview was in an hour. Unfortunately, Tarkanalio had spent that last several days drinking and carousing and was no left with ragged clothes and a raging hangover. Telperion Wine was good, but by Morgoth’s mushrooms it kicked harder than a mule. He’d have several of those as well, Morgul Mules that is. Pitchers of beer to play beer pong, too, weak but heady and good in great quantities. The orc rubbed his head tenderly and squinted in the noonday gloom. Even though the sun could barely be seen through the clouds, the glare was almost too much for him. He needed to focus. He need to put on some clothes. Humans had a strange preoccupation with wearing clothes that Tarkanalio never understood. Did he even own clothing? The alcohol usually ate away at his short-term memory. Surely he could find something, or kill an unsuspecting traveler. That seemed like a good idea, much easier than trying to find his way back to his hovel and search for pants and what was it called, a shirt? And some shoes. He hated wearing clothes. The last time he had worn clothes was when they threw him out of the Black Host. That was years and years and… wait no that was last week. Anyway, getting a new line of employment was paramount. How else was he going to pay his bar tab? That hunter lady, what was her name again Naelia? She had put up a notice on the bulletin board in the Black Market looking for an extra bodyguard, apparently hunting thieves was starting to make her unpopular and needed extra protection. His head throbbed. He was going to be late. There was no way around it. He stumbled around, bits hanging about in the pestilent wind, until he found a man wrapped in a heavy black cloak. He was about Tarkanalio’s size. He’d do. The orc cut the human’s throat, stripped off his clothing, and buried the body Beneath a Rock. There. That’s a start to this miserable day. Maybe a drink would help? Hair of the warg that bit you? His stomach roiled. Maybe not. Greasy bacon and crow eggs. That’s what he needed.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
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The thief HAS been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Orc Chieftain
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Still trying to clear her name, Naelia now found herself searching through the Halls of Injustice for the identity of the real thief. "If I could track down the person that is trying to frame me... " the minioness thought to herself as she could have sworn she saw Bubosha sneaking around the nearest corner, cradling something in their pocket.

"Why are you trying to frame me?" the minioness thought to herself, as she began to track whom she suspected of being the real thief that had made off with none other than the One Ring. Were these thieves so determined to frame her because she was rather good at bringing these people their just desserts? Only catching the true culprits would answer the seemingly endless questions popping through Naelia's mind after being accused of a crime that she didn't commit. "Now I know how Lathana felt." the minioness thought to herself, referring to her rather bothersome half-sister, though with one difference: Lathana was guilty, Naelia herself was not.
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Balrog
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Tarkanalio, dressed in the ill-fitting clothes of a dead man, stood in line at the Halls of Injustice. There was no eviler place in all the world that the bureaucratic, scream-laden halls. Standing in lines for hours and hours on end, only to come the finish to learn the forms you filled out were wrong and they need to be recertified, which of course needed to be done across the way at the end of the line, thus starting the whole Sisyphean cycle over again. The job, was it turns out, was not as a bodyguard as had been advertised. Naelia had only been interested in forcing information out of him. His hangover had made him a weak, easy target. Thankfully, Tarkanalio couldn’t tell the One Ring from a pair of clean underwear so he was quickly determined to be as useless as a teaspoon in a leaky rowboat. He was going to be paid for his troubles, she said, then handed him a voucher that needed to be certified and notarized. That had been a day ago. He had been in line since then. His hangover had turned into a raging hunger headache, so much that the fools in front of him were starting to look tasty. He was so hungry. Hungry enough to turn cannibal though? Probably. Deciding quickly, he jumped on the pitiful orc in front of him and promptly killed him and began to feast. No one seemed to mind, strangely, everyone was in a fugue state, dead eyed and limp limbed. It was only after he finished that he noticed the snack bar not ten paces away. Well that was awkward.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
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DING DING DING!

The thief has been caught!! @The King in Yellow has successfully apprehended that wily thief Naelia in her hiding place in the Hall of Injustice, where she had made off with the One Ring. Frost, you are now a Minion First Rank Hunter! Nothing special happens.

As always in Mordor, thievery is rife, and it's time to set out after one again... a new culprit is abroad, the traps have been reset, Thief Hunt Round Five, commence!
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Okay, so Naelia was guilty of being the thief last time around, but that was only to keep her Master's chief weapon out of the wrong hands. To redeem herself, she was determined to catch the next one.

Searching in Mordor's newest establishment, which was simply known as the Uhhhhhhhh Spa, run by those two goblin brothers of crime, the minioness was shocked to discover none other than the Pink Tricycle yet again. "Somebody obviously wants to rid the Dark Land of anything containing colors marked as Foo!" Naelia thought to herself as she began to search for clues as to the thief's identity. Since she wasn't the guilty party this time around, she would have to watch out for any traps the wily thief had set.

Just as she was thinking of taking a break from all this thief hunting, the minioness could have sworn she saw one of the goblin brothers, the one known as Fleeg, act more suspiciously than usual, and decided to keep a close eye on this particular "brother", even though it was still unknown if the goblins that ran this establishment were actually related by blood.
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Balrog
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There once was an orc named Swiltang
Who got hit in the head with a boomerang,
It appeared all the sudden
Whilst this boldog was runnin’
And now he hiccupped when he sang.

Did you hear about the unDead Chicken?
It ran down the street near the prison
A crime boss he was
With razor sharp claws
And it mauled those who called him a pigeon

There are people who hate Minas Morgûl
They think the city’s a cesspool
One day they all fell
Under Sombelenë’s spell
And now those people adorn her vestibule
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief HAS been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place HAS been found!


@Lady Winchester, within the Uhhhhh Spa you have stumbled upon the Ratking! Here you happen upon a huge ratking. Normally when one discovers a massive group of rats who have gotten tangled and stuck together by the tails such as this, they're already dead... not this time. The ratking is alive, and full of rage. It attacks you en masse, and you must fight it off before hunting again!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Orc Chieftain
Points: 648 
Posts: 318
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:23 pm
"Again with the Ratking!" Naelia thought to herself as this was the second time she ran into this particular trap. That proved that she wasn't the thief this time around, and tried to remember how she dealt with the Ratking before.

"Oh, that's right, my handy whip!" the minioness thought to herself as she got it out just as the Ratking came charging at her in a section of Mordor's newest establishment that wasn't that full of people yet (if you could actually call denizens of the Dark Land "people" that is, but Naelia herself was more Black Numenorean than she was an Elf, so she guessed that counted as a person, although a dark twisted one).

The minioness managed to snap her whip at the topmost rat again, since just like last time she encountered the Ratking, this particular rat was trying his hardest to separate from the rest and come after her separately. "Don't you think if you could separate from your brethren, you would have done it by now?" Naelia sneered at this particular rat, obviously the brains of the bunch, but if this were true, how did the lot of them get fused together to create this new adversary? "Perhaps he was having an off day!" the minioness thought to herself as she ducked just as the Ratking came charging at her again, but managed to trip on something one of the two goblin "brothers in crime" dropped when he was serving a patron something rather nasty looking, sending the Ratking flying into the nearest wall, almost managing to separate the top rat from his brethren (but not quite, since he was still "attached" to his buddies once the Ratking managed to ease himself up to face Naelia once again).

During the time when the Ratking was semi-conscious, the minioness noticed a white horse in the establishment and thought that she would use this to her advantage; perhaps if this newest trap she kept running into when she wasn't guilty of said crime would want to take it apart instead of her and she could get back to tracking down the person who thought that they could pull the wool over Naelia's eyes by setting this trap upon her!

"Look, fusion of rats, isn't that a white horse over there? Aren't you getting hungry after trying to take me out of the game?" the minoness cooed, as the Ratking fell for her little muse, whilst she slowly but surely crept out of the establishment, getting back to the task at hand. She still thought this was a worthy punishment for that nuisance half-sister of hers for constantly trying to escape. She would have to ask Orngor if he was willing to follow up on her idea before Lathana tried to escape again (since she knew it was only a matter of time).
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He who commands the Ruling Ring... commands all

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!


@Lady Winchester, you may now hunt again!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
You had to tip toe when you were around Swiltang, everyone knew this. Even though Fedhern was a spirit and couldn’t be seen by the great orc, they still hovered around him with a great sense of wariness. There was no telling when he might catch a glimpse of shifting air around him and react. Fedhern wasn’t sure what would happen to them if Swiltang swung at them though. Would the sword pass through them or would it wound them? It was a question that Fedhern was content to let stand for however long they could. Some mysteries just didn’t need to be solved.

They were having too much of a good time watching him though. Fedhern had no idea what was going on today but they were along for the ride! They had gone to Minas Morgûl and gotten into a screaming match with a yellow besilked elf named Sombelenë. It seemed pretty par for the course though, they didn’t really yell at each other with any sort of substance. The pair seemed to simply not like each other. For their part, Fedhern gotten into a spirit battle with a squid shaped spirit that followed the elf around. Neither of the corporeal beings could see the battle (mostly whips of energy, puffing up, spectral hissing, and incorporeal inking) but Fedhern had a feeling that at least their counterpart could feel something going on in the air. Hopefully he could accept his new companion, even if he couldn’t see them.

After the screaming match, where Fedhern learned all sorts of orcish insults and swear words, Swiltang wandered about the spirit haunted city. He was looking for something. Fedhern wished they knew exactly what it was he was looking for because they could have helped him find it. As it turned out, he was looking for the Georges, One George at least was all he needed. He said something to the giant weasel in a language that Fedhern didn’t understand and the weasel giggled and slithered away like a creepy, furry snake. This was going to be interesting.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Orc Chieftain
Points: 648 
Posts: 318
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:23 pm
Free of the Ratking once again, Naelia now found herself searching in none other than Minas Morgul, trying to track down the thief that had sprung the newest adversary that she still couldn't understand was actually alive after being fused together like that. "And why does that top rat always want to separate from the others?" the minioness often wondered, every time she came across this particular trap.

Moving on, Naelia came across the Cat O' Nine Tails, seemingly discarded under a pile of rubble that was probably left behind after the Tarks were driven out of the sister city of Minas Tirith after the Dark Powers took it over and claimed it for their own, due to it housing one of the seven Palantiri. "I guess the Nine didn't care what was left behind, and never bothered to clean up the rubble after the takeover." the minioness thought to herself, as she could have sworn she saw Swiltang spying on her just before he snuck around the nearest corner.

"Perhaps he suspects that I'm onto him..." Naelia thought to herself, as she began to track him through the one place that often gave her the willies, but that she would probably have to turn into a new stronghold if Mordor were ever overthrown and she was lucky enough to survive the downfall.
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He who commands the Ruling Ring... commands all

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
Image
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Orc Chieftain
Points: 648 
Posts: 318
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:23 pm
"So, it was the goblin "brother" known as Fleeg, after all!" Naelia thought to herself as she had been led astray. Not wanting to run into the Ratking once again, the minioness decided to look in a new location until the wily "brother in crime" decided to set the trap upon someone else.

Now searching through Those Shadowy Rafters, Naelia came across none other than Grond, seemingly stashed in the nearest corner, as if the thief were trying to hide it somewhere, but due to the item's size, wasn't very successful at it. "How in the heck did that goblin "brother" of crime manage to make off with that!?" the minioness thought to herself, since the item in question was huge, and often needed many strong beasts of immense size in order to move it. Regardless of how the thief got it here, Naelia would still have to apprehend him, even if it meant going back to face the one adversary that shouldn't be alive in the first place, by the way it was fused together. "Perhaps I should send Lathana in there..." the minioness thought to herself, knowing darn well that the creature would tear her half-sister apart, and promised to only use her as a very last resort.
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He who commands the Ruling Ring... commands all

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
“Goddammit Fleeg!” Swiltang was in a foul mood. Fouler than usual that is. They had left Minas Morgul hours ago, having not been able to find the giant furry snake demon, and made their way through the Black Market where the great, brooding orc bought a bottle of something green (Fedhern later found out this was called absinthe) and came to the Uhhhhhhhh Spa. What was an Uhhhhhhh Spa? Fedhern had no idea. They had no idea what a Fleeg was either. There was a lot they didn’t know. That’s why they were hanging around Swiltang. While at this spa, whatever it was, Swiltang had tried to book a massage room, there was some confusion though. The boldog was under the impression that there was a room that had been permanently reserved for him but the poor receptionist, a rather small, frail looking orc, didn’t have anything on the books indicating such a reservation. Fedhern didn’t bother trying to learn the name of the orc, assuming they were about to be eaten by an angry Swiltang. There was going to be a new item on the café menu today: One Rotting Leg-O’-Las(s).
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief HAS been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place HAS been found!


@The King in Yellow, within the Uhhhhhhh Spa, you have stumbled upon the Ratking! Here you happen upon a huge ratking. Normally when one discovers a massive group of rats who have gotten tangled and stuck together by the tails such as this, they're already dead... not this time. The ratking is alive, and full of rage. It attacks you en masse, and you must fight it off before hunting again!

@Lady Winchester, within Those Shadowy Rafters, you have stumbled upon a Tar Pit! Here the thief has cunningly concealed a deep, wide tar pit beneath the floor and you must swim or otherwise make your way out of the hot, sticky morass before hunting again.
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
No! No! He wasn’t supposed to be here! He wasn’t a rat! A mottled grey and brown rat struggled and struggled against the seething mass of the ratking, doing everything he could to escape this horrible fate. To say that the little creature was terrified would be to call Mt Doom a hot tub. He wasn’t supposed to be here! He’d woken up three days ago to a most horrible discovery. He only had the vaguest memories of who he was or what he had been, but he knew that he was not a rat and that he shouldn’t be here. He squeaked in terror, only to be set upon by a sea of rats, all vicious, angry, and hungry. Before he could run to safety to try and solve this terrible puzzle he was wrapped up by his tail and dragged along with this seething mass of teeth and fur. He tried to fight it, tried and tried but it had all been in vain. The horde of death was taking him wherever it wanted. Accepting this, the rat tried to remember who he was, who he’d angered, how he ended up in a fate worse than death. He was not a rat. He had to tell himself that over and over and over again. He was not a rat. He was not a rat. He was… he was a human! Yes, yes he was a human and not a rat. He was a human and he was not from here. He tried, straining his tiny rodent mind until his nose began to bleed with the mental exertion, but he could not remember his name. He had a name, right? Everyone had a name. Why couldn’t he remember his name? He squeaked, earning himself more savage attacks form the rest of the ratking. He wailed as he felt chunks of him being torn off. He… he was not from here. He was from the north. He was a farmer, a simple farmer up north. He remembered the day she arrived though. Flaming red hair and glowing eyes. She didn’t say a word as she sliced through everything and everyone until he was all that was left. His wife and his children were lying in pieces, their blood soaking the ground. She said she had a worse fate for him, for what he’d done. What had he done? Who was she? The ratking moved on, scuttling and squeaking with rabid ferocity.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!


@Call of Cthulhu, you may now hunt again!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
Fleeg was napping in one of the storage closets. Well, napping isn’t quite correct here. He was hiding in the storage closet after realizing the danger he was in because of Durzhat and Bubosha. He still had no idea what was going on per se, but at the very least his dim goblin brain was finally catching on that he was somehow at fault. He grabbed a handful of toads and made a beeline for the nearest hidey hole. He’d stayed there for hours by now (it was about 10 minutes) when he heard someone screaming his name. It sounded like Swiltang. Swiltang was here? Why was…. Oh no! Fleeg, in his haste to hide and lick toads, had forgotten that the terrifying orc was on his way to the spa and expected a private room. Now, Swiltang’s Dignity was being chipped away at because he was forced to deal with customer service bureaucracy. Fleeg was a dead goblin. D – E – D. Dead. He licked another toad. Right as the funny feeling started to take hold and his tongue began to go numb (spilling an inordinate amount of drool on a box of bath salts), he thought he heard someone trying the lock. This was going to be a bad day at the Uhhhhhhh Spa. The only person that didn’t want to kill him today was Reg, which was odd in and of itself because his ChA OsBro always wanted to kill him. Something was up. Oh Dark Lord have mercy!! He licked another toad, threw an empty burlap sack over his head, and wheezed as softly as he could. At the very least, this was going to be an interesting high.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Orc Chieftain
Points: 648 
Posts: 318
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:23 pm
Though Naelia was successful in avoiding the Ratking, she managed to run into another familiar trap in the place she decided to search for the wily thief instead; the dreaded Tar Pit!

"Out of the frying pan, into the fryer!" the minioness thought to herself, as she tried to come up with a new way to get past this familiar trap. The first time she encountered it, she found a rather large discarded tree branch which she managed to push over to the Tar Pit in order to glide across (though how the so-called tree branch got there still confused Naelia to this day) without even getting her feet all sticky and gooey (which didn't seem to work out the second time around, since she had to acquire a new travelling cloak after getting past the trap, since her present one wasn't in any condition to salvage after that little adventure), but how to get past it this time?

Since the minioness came across the trap in a place known as Those Shadowy Rafters, perhaps she could put one to good use. Though, she would have to be careful not to bring down the whole structure upon her, or else she might have a new problem on her hands!

Climbing up to grab one of the Rafters, Naelia was careful on which one she chose, both to make sure to avoid collapsing the whole structure, and to make sure the Rafter was sturdy enough to hold her weight (like with the large looking tree branch she found the first time she encountered this particular trap, the minioness was planning to mimic the creature Gollum, when he was trying to either spy on some of the free peoples, or to avoid capture by the Dark Powers, even though the creature's plan was rarely successful).

Satisfied that she chose a Rafter sturdy enough to hold her weight, Naelia put her foot on it a few times before she put any weight on it in an attempt to get to the other side of the Tar Pit in order to catch the wily thief that had set this trap upon her. "Maybe facing the Ratking a second time would have been the better option." the minioness thought to herself, as she very carefully glided herself across the Tar Pit, but had to stick her arm in the sticky, gooey liquid to use as an oar or else the Rafter might have sent her sailing in the wrong direction and who knows where she would end up?

Not wanting to tear off her sleeve after she managed to make it to the other side, Naelia simply rolled it up on the arm she used so that she wouldn't have to discard it like she did with her former travelling cloak as she made it to the other side. To avoid being thrown into the Tar Pit, the minioness simply rolled off the Rafter like a camper would if he had been set on fire and the Rafter was his only way of dousing the flames, so to speak.

Now to catch that wily thief that doesn't want to answer to the Lord and Master of this land!" Naelia thought to herself as she made her way out of the location and have their "delusions of grandeur" foiled once again.
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He who commands the Ruling Ring... commands all

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
DING DING DING!

The thief has been caught!! @Call of Cthulhu has successfully apprehended that disgraceful thief Fleeg in his (really pretty obvious) hiding place in the Uhhhhhh Spa, where he had made off, yet again, with Swiltang's Dignity. Frost, you are now a Minion Second Rank Hunter! You may choose to specialize in Thieves, Places, or Items, and will be able to guess two possible Thieves, Places, or Items, according to which specialization you choose, in each post.

As always in Mordor, thievery is rife, and it's time to set out after one again... a new culprit is abroad, the traps have been reset, Thief Hunt Round Six, commence!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Orc Chieftain
Points: 648 
Posts: 318
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2020 6:23 pm
Though she wasn't successful in apprehending the thief that was responsible for setting all those traps upon her, Naelia wasn't the type of person that gave up easily. "Perhaps I can catch the next one!" the minioness thought to herself, but she would have to be careful to avoid the places that contained a trap. "Easier said than done." Naelia thought to herself as she found herself searching through Minas Morgul once again.

"Now to track down the item that has mysteriously gone missing, and the person responsible for taking it." the minioness mused, as she came across none other than Irime's Wine Stash, hidden in plain sight. "It seems this particular thief is getting lazy." the minioness thought to herself, as she began to search for clues as to the thief's identity.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw Dumb Orc sneaking around the nearest corner. "What is he up to? And I wonder how he got that moniker?" Naelia thought to herself, since even the Orcs she worked with never had a nickname like that!
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He who commands the Ruling Ring... commands all

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
Image
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
Someone had ratted him out. That was the only conclusion Fleeg could come up with. How else could Swiltang have found him in the closet of the Uhhhhhhhhh Spa? It was an ingenious hiding spot. There was no way anyone could have found him without inside help. This was a conspiracy! Fleeg knew he had to get to the bottom of this at once. Well, maybe not at once. At once he needed to escape the Black Pits where Swiltang had thrown him for forgetting to book his massage room. Was it a bit of an overreaction? Probably. Though the rumors about what might set off the great boldog suggested that Fleeg might be getting off easy. One such rumor said that he’d skinned a person alive for serving him his tea too hot. Being hung upside with his head half submerged in water didn’t sound so bad after all. It gave him time to think. He had to begin compiling a list of potential conspirators. Reg was a possibility, but he was too dumb, and too focused on his mushrooms. The Toad of Consistancy? That seemed much more likely. That Toad was devious and conniving, a sneak to his little amphibious core. But he couldn’t have done it alone. No, a mastermind like the toad needs allies, people he can use to shield him and claim plausible deniability. But who would work with the toad? Thalionwen! She’d work with anyone, especially a seemingly innocent, cute toad. Were they likely suspects? No, but that’s what made them so suspicious. Normal seeming folk in Mordor should automatically be assumed to have committed at least one murder, potential an arson, and very like a racketeering scheme. The Toad had it for Fleeg ever since Fleeg had licked him that one time. Some people just hold a grudge apparently.

As soon as Fleeg got out of the Pits, he’d go to the Black Market and find some toad tracking equipment: some flies, a patch of sticky grass, and glass jar. Once he had those, he’d be able to interrogate the Toad and see what he was really after. At the moment, the goblin was willing to assume that Thali was an innocent bystander, a rube being played by the Toad of Conniving. She might be hard to find either way, no one had actually seen her in months.

Whatever! Once he got his information, Fleeg knew was he was going to do to the Toad. He was going to strap him onto a Pink Tricycle and roll him into Mount Doom.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item has NOT been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
Image
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
Freed from his watery torture (definitely evolving into an amphibian), Fleeg was finally able to enact his revenge on the Toad of Conniving. Despite any and all evidence to the contrary, Fleeg was more and more determined that the Toad was the lead conspirator. Those ribbits didn’t fool him! Fleeg had licked a thousand toads, ribbits and croaks fell on deaf ears (well a deaf ear, Fleeg had gone deaf in one because of licking too many toads at once). What Fleeg couldn’t figure out, the more “evidence” he gathered, was why the Toad was after him. Was this residual malice from the lawsuit that was never brought before the Halls of Injustice? He and Reg had buried that particular hatchet a long time ago (literally, they buried a hatched together in the skull of some orc running around the Halls of Injustice completely naked with a mouthful of people). Toads held onto grudges, apparently. That didn’t make for a very good lawyer, not that Fleeg knew what a good lawyer was. As he meandered through the market, Fleeg’s mind drifted. The Toad would have had more than one accomplice, surely. Thali was too sweet to do anything too dastardly. Jorgy! That evil little hobbit creature! He had to be involved somehow! Fleeg’s two greatest nemesiseseses, working together to bring him down. Oh the goblinanity! But he would be ready! Oh yes he would. No, thank you, Fleeg’s fear of Jorgy was not the same as Reg’s fear and dislike of Frost. His was perfectly reasonable and logical, Reg’s fear of the tall, creepy, spider lover bedecked with sinister tattoos was weird and unnatural.

He meandered and meandered, and then meandered some more because it was such a fun word to say out loud (which he obviously did) until finally he found his way to the infamous That Dark Corner shop, the home of the bog witch that made black powder. While it was not really useful in anyway here, Fleeg knew he needed to buy a barrel of the stuff. Just to have. In case of emergency. Like if he accidently wound up strapped to Ketchup the Fell Beast and the only way to escape was lighting a grenade full of the stuff to distract him whilst Fleeg undid all the complicated knots that someone employed by the Toad had tied him up in and escape via foldable hang glider Fleeg kept on his person at all time. Emergencies like that.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 528 
Posts: 1866
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 3:21 am
The thief has NOT been found!
The item HAS been found!
The hiding place has NOT been found!
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Evil is a lifestyle | she/her

Balrog
Points: 5 867 
Posts: 3513
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 11:02 am
Armed with black powder and no idea how to actually use it, Fleeg made his way back to his spa to plot and plan. The Toad of Consistency was going down, one way or another, and Fleeg was going to lick him once it was all over. Yikes. That sounded really strange, even for Fleeg. Should we dial this back a bit? Maybe? No? Are you sure? Fine, Fleeg was gonna like the Toad of Consistency. There. I said it. Why do you make me say these words?

Anyway, Fleeg was armed with his black powder and had no idea how to use it. He’d heard you could use it shot stuff out of cannons but where was he going to get a cannon at this time of night? Best wait until morning, surely there’d be something available at the Black Market, an oddities shop or something. Right? Sadly, all this time gave Fleeg the time to think. A thinking Fleeg is a dangerous Fleeg. You see, when Fleeg thinks, he comes up with ideas. Ideas like a murder hornet apiary, or a spa. He never came up with good ideas, despite all his attempts to be smart, innovative, and cunning. He was never going to amount to anything in Swiltang’s eyes, the only orc he was actively trying to impress (well maybe he was trying to impress Durzhat too but that situation was complicated to say the least). He’d even once tried to convince Zôr (the Scary one) to give him magic training to become a powerful goblin sorcerer, but that ended with Fleeg neck deep in a fire ant bed on a hot summer day in a Harad desert. And now the Toad was destroying his attempt to get I some brownie points! Ugh! That blasted toad with his law degree and his smug face and his consistency. After he licked the toad he was going to make Ketchup the Fell Beast eat him! The toad, not Fleeg. Fleeg was not going throw himself into the mouth of a ravening Fell Beast. That gave him an idea though. No. No. Stop it with the “ideas” and just get one with the plan. What was the plan even at this point? He bought a barrel of black powder… was gonna lick the toad… then throw him at a Fell Beast. Was that it? Sauron’s black earth, even for Fleeg this plan was stupid. And he knew. There was A Cloud of Ash coming off Mt Doom, maybe he’d just jump in that and be done with it all.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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