Middle Earth Phrases, Curses and Chat-up Lines

Discussions in Middle-earth lore, language and books.
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Thain of The Mark
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I walked in on a conversation on Discord about swearing phrases that might be both plaza and in-world appropriate, which they deviated into chat-up lines and words of wisdom.

I thought the whole plaza needed to share in the joys of some of these beauties so I’m being brave and opening a Lore thread.

Perhaps those more academic and scholarly plaza members could find some actual exclamations and declarations from the books.

To keep things vaguely organised please post your in-world curses in blue (color=#0040BF), your chat-up lines in dark red (color=#BF0000) and your words of wisdom green (color=#008000), and include references in purple (color=#670088) if they are a direct Tolkien quote.
Last edited by Allacan ob Burzum on Thu Jul 30, 2020 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thain of The Mark
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@Taethowen @Arnyn @Ta'leus Shieldsong opened as promised.

I’ll start us off;-

“Oh for precious’ sake!”

“For Bema‘s sake/Bema-damned/Bema dammit”

Thain of The Mark
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Adding a few that I mentioned in Discord:

What in Arda! (as a substitute for 'what in the world' or 'what on earth')

And, uh, rather the opposite of a chat-up line, but probably still fits best in that category:

I'd rather bed a fell beast than speak with you again!

Éowyn
Éowyn
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What in Angmar!
What the Orodruin!
You're as cross-eyed as Shelob.
"You're smellier than a ranger's socks."


"Where you bored? You know when you sailed here from Valinor? Cause you're more beautiful than the light of the two trees."


"Aragorn makes the heart grow fonder." - Gondorian proverb
"Don't put all your Uruks in one Helms Deep." - Rohir proverb
"Keep your Rohirrim close and your Minions closer" - Gondorian proverb
"There's no such thing as a free second breakfast." - Hobbit proverb
"You can't make a stew without killing a few coneys." -Hobbit proverb
Arnyn ~ Honor & Valor
Kaylin ~ Joy & Strength

Melkor
Melkor
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Of all the luck of Turin... (could be both words of wisdom and in-world curse)
A face only Eru would love (could be both words of wisdom and in-world curse)
Even Tulkas wouldn't find this funny (uncategorized)
Just throw an eagle at it (words of wisdom)
This argument has more holes than Boromir's body (uncategorized)
Hole-in-one (Not a direct Tolkien reference. Should be an applicable idiom)
Last edited by Rivvy Elf on Thu Jul 30, 2020 7:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Éowyn
Éowyn
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Did you just come out of Mount Doom? Because you're hot.
Life without you is like a mortal's ears. Pointless. - Elven pick-up line
Are you a Wizard? It’s the strangest thing, but every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
Wow... when Illuvatar made you, he was seriously showing off.
You must be a hell of a burglar, because you managed to steal my heart from across the room.
Arnyn ~ Honor & Valor
Kaylin ~ Joy & Strength

Master Torturer
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"By all fourteen freaking Valar"
"Uinen take the helm"


And as for pick-up lines:

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Loremistress Emerita | she/her

Melkor
Melkor
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Thanks Thingol (could be words of wisdom or an in-universe curse)
Last edited by Rivvy Elf on Thu Jul 30, 2020 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Elven Enchanter
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Mongrel Elf Lord (Zarâm has used this to describe Elrond)

Melkor preserve us.


"Get thee gone from my gate, thy jail-crow of Mandos!" - Silmarillion, Chapter 7 Of the Silmarils

Hey @Dwarrow Elf did you see the OP that mentioned colour-coding your phrases depending on what they are? Can you please edit your posts accordingly?
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Melkor
Melkor
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I'm waffling on what color they should be, since many could belong in multiple categories. So I'm leaving it black and unorganized until they can be organized.

New Words o' wisdom:
A Faramir is a Faramir unless they are the Faramir who did an Eowyn but actually died.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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What the Udun? is a favorite of mine.

Saruman's also got some good zingers...

'Dotard! What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among the dogs?' (The Two Towers: The Voice of Saruman)
Last edited by Boromir88 on Fri Jul 31, 2020 2:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
A Loquacious Loreman.
he/him
Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Esquire of The Mark
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If you want to really shock an elf:

Sweet Varda's stockings!
May the Horse be with you.

Elven Enchanter
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A few other ideas that came up on the discord awhile back. These are all Mordor variants of the phrase "God's green earth". They are not exactly swears, but blue should work for now. Maybe we need another way to categorise idioms?

Sauron's blasted heath
Melkor’s pits
Nurn's slave-tilled fields
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Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Warrior of Imladris
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There are quite a few, also translated into Sindarin, in the Taste of Elvish thread in this forum.
Last edited by Lirimaer on Wed Aug 05, 2020 10:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Chief Counsellor of Gondor
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This from Treebeard has always been one of my favorite pieces of advice that we need more of in the world:

It is a lovely language, but it takes a very long time to say anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worth taking a long time to say, and to listen to.' The Two Towers - Treebeard

It's Treebeard's version of 'think before you speak.' I will leave it up to a more clever and creative Plaza member to create some words of wisdom Treebeard might say. I just always loved when Treebeard talks about the Old Entish and names of things. :grin:
A Loquacious Loreman.
he/him
Tis the season of Sean Bean prequel shows

Loremaster of the Herd
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I have to imagine @Boromir88 that, following the thought of that line, Entish insults must be tremendously cutting. Based in like, slight alterations to their whole "your name tells a story" thing so that someone's name would tell a ... less than positive story.
In the deeps of Time, amidst the Innumerable Stars

New Soul
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Thank you to the ARPYs because I was reminded of this thread, and the need to add some things. :lol:

Fleeg related curses or insults

All credit for this goes to @The King in Yellow

"fleeging knave" (first used by @Tharmáras in this post)

"half-witted, scruffy-looking Fleeg herder" a slight adaptation of a popular Star Wars thing :tongue:

"son of a fleeg/son de la fleeg"


More to come soon, I hope :lol: or perhaps not *thinking face*
She/her.
Solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant
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High Lord of Imladris
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Ahem after the Discord Chat pointed me at this thread (yes we read some of these outloud and several have begun plotting their uses) I submit the following for use (and these will at some point be used by Fuin or Afarfin or someone)

"If I wanted to taste something that vile, I'd kiss Hatholdir." (insult of someones cooking etc. - Hatholdir used with permission)

"Could I get you to aim at the metal? You're blowing a lot of hot air." (Forge based insult)

I have bellows that blow less hot air than you. (Another forge based insult)

'As useful as a strainer to bail a sinking dingy" (Sailor based insult)

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