Limericks!

Original writings and artwork by Tolkien fans.
New Soul
Points: 1 191 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:39 am
To old World of Warcraft I fly-
My character, the paladin guy
I light things on fire
head to the Dawnspire
And hope that my pally won't die
they/he/mischief

Fea
Points: 692 
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 pm
There once was a plazaite called Nia
Who held her cute sapling icon most dear
Though poetic points do rain
No higher rank does she gain
So what is the aim? 'Tis quite queer.

Another @Li.merick can also be found here.
Last edited by Nia on Tue Jul 07, 2020 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

New Soul
Points: 1 191 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:39 am
There once was a dragon called Smaug,
Whose burning breath lit every log
His magnificent golden scale
From his head to his tail
Made him shimmer through smoke and fog
they/he/mischief

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
Now I have a dragon called Smog in my brain ...

There once was a maiden of Doriath
Who fell for a man's hairy ath ...
She rescued him fairly
No question just barely
Then forced Mandos to do Math

(Is this below the belt ...? :smiley9:)
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

New Soul
Points: 1 191 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:39 am
(Rhyming.. Smaug was too hard-- just imagine laug and faug)

The sun would not stop beaming down
And everyone sweat from their toes to their crown
Because of the heat
That could not be beat
Their sweat made them saltwater gowns
they/he/mischief

Doorwarden of The Mark
Points: 469 
Posts: 344
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 5:49 pm
There once was a drummer of legend
Whose lightning bass kicks were from heaven
And all his band mates
Had all of their crates
Cranked ALL the way up - to eleven!!!

((On the headphones currently: Stratovarius, by way of Helloween, Queensryche, and Blind Guardian))

Elven Enchanter
Points: 2 265 
Posts: 1451
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:15 am
With the latest point requirement
The haiku thread goes to retirement
The limerick fest
Is now the best
Way to get shinies in entirement
Image
Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a woman in fetters
Who thought perhaps life could be better
She tried to break free
The guard heard her plea
But said to his mate, "Never met her!"

Easterling
Points: 131 
Posts: 78
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:37 am
I think Limericks are the better of two
Takes more thought and wit than a Haiku
I only posted in there
For easy points, to be fair
For both allow me to burst forth in great foo.

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who

Ok, I can't continue that one.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Doorwarden of The Mark
Points: 469 
Posts: 344
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 5:49 pm
Challenge accepted.

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who could not a magic ring forego
It wasn't a lark
On knees, in the dark
At least with the ring he could tiptoe!

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
Ooh, ooh, my turn to try!

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who gave his Ring to nephew Frodo
When Bilbo went poof
Frodo played all aloof
But really he wasn't a dodo.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who said, "On my birthday I will go
Off all by myself
To live with an elf -
After all of my guests eat their fill, though.
May the Horse be with you.

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
:grin:
:clap:
Excellent, excellent!
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Chieftain of The Mark
Points: 1 204 
Posts: 656
Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 10:53 am
There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who over sea the West travelled into
In time he was joined
By Greenleaf and son of Gloin
Which pleased his dear nephew, Frodo


I'm rusty, can you tell‽
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Doorwarden of The Mark
Points: 469 
Posts: 344
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 5:49 pm
I think Elvh's is the best! :thumbs:
But Aodh used an interrobang... That's worth bonus points right there... :wink:

Fea
Points: 692 
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 pm
Lirimaer wrote: Wed Jul 08, 2020 7:52 pm There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who

Ok, I can't continue that one.
Did the same first word jump out at you‽ ... Ahem ...

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who, when persuaded, on adventures will go,
He was branded a thief,
Faced the last dragon chief,
He was a small but indelible foe

Also I had never come across an interrobang before, but that is excellent piece of punctuation which I will adopt forthwith (see above).

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
@Nia :lol: :embarrassed: why, yes!

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Who a-travellin' often would still go
Short journeys, of course
And never by horse
For he'd fall, hurting hip, knee and elbow
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Elven Enchanter
Points: 2 265 
Posts: 1451
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:15 am
My mommy is ever so mean
Because she has made me clean
All art from my room
Now it is a tomb
I just wanted my walls to be seen!

For @Veowyn and her kids
Image
Artanis / Éomund / Brandor / Zarâm

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a site called the plaza
It added to life such a salsa
When the plaza came back
The posts started to stack
And post 20k caused such great drama.

Fea
Points: 692 
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 pm
@Lirimaer excellent, not just me then :grin: :lol:

When plaza posts reached 20k
The internet started to say
Oh what a great site
The membership - a delight
You must top Google without delay

Healer of Imladris
Points: 1 048 
Posts: 653
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:38 am
Her nose was stuffed full of sniffles
The kettle of water and whistles
"Just a last cup of tea,
then it's bed time for me!"
Lo! Let this cold face dismissals.

dedicated hatefully to this box of tissues
Top-class Canine Alter Ego Associate of Aerlinn Mordagnir

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
My dog has become very hairy
Since going places became scary
The groomers shut down
Throughout this big town
So we hope for a dog-haircut fairy
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Easterling
Points: 131 
Posts: 78
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:37 am
O.M.G. :rofl: :embarrassed: :googly: That Bilbo rhyme.... :hammer: :rofl:

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo
Dubbed a Burglar, but didn'tya know
He gamed with a rhyme
Til he ran out of time
And won with the prize of a ring, though.

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
@Tarawen, you must be that good fairy
For your dog who is ever-so-hairy
Just get some clippers -
Or scissors, or snippers
And soon he'll be less (or more) scary!
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Chieftain of The Mark
Points: 1 204 
Posts: 656
Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 10:53 am
My dog's started scooting his butt
And all veterinarians are shut
Oh, what a to-do,
When he has to p**
& everyone gawps at my mutt‽
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Storyteller
Points: 1 509 
Posts: 1300
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 9:09 am
I could not understand why a haiku,
Was no longer worthy of points too,
But then I calmed down
And thought with a frown,
A Limerick, I probably could do.

Doorwarden of The Mark
Points: 469 
Posts: 344
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 5:49 pm
Dwim wrote: Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:37 pm A Limerick, I probably could do.
Indeed you can! Well done @Dwim!

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a wizard called Ducky
Whose dice rolls were really quite lucky.
He called on Mahal
And then took a fall
Perhaps under the stage he is stuck...y.

New Soul
Points: 1 191 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:39 am
There once was a cat named Hephaestus
Who was absolutely the bestest
With extra toes on his peets
To dip in the eats
This cute boy certainly doesn't detest us
they/he/mischief

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
There once was an elf loved a mortal
And although her father did foretell
'He is gone forever!'
She gave up on him never
And followed him e'en through death's portal
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
@Burnt Toast I love the rhyme of Hephaestus and bestest, probably my favorite of the thread!

When planning to take a vacation
There's surely some good preparation
Pack up all your clothes
Order tickets for shows
So that you can go sans consternation.

Fea
Points: 692 
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 pm
Now I'm finally permitted to roam
This Friday I get to go home
It's been 30-odd weeks
With many troughs and some peaks
Here's to escaping the inner city dome

New Soul
Points: 110 
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 12:24 pm
there was a man in the shire
whom all lads seem to admire
he grew hair on his toes
right up to his nose
and maybe a inch or so higher

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
@Aodh Hammerhelm, I know the feeling
When your doggie should really be heeling
But instead starts to scoot-y
His little dog booty
And your dog parent shame knows no ceiling
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Doorwarden of The Mark
Points: 308 
Posts: 134
Joined: Sat May 23, 2020 2:45 am
(Haha, much to laugh at! Sneaks in one more for the Challange)

There once was a hobbit named Bilbo,
No more on adventures he will go,
Though memories cherished
Relieved he’d not perished,
He secretly misses the thrill though

Chieftain of The Mark
Points: 1 204 
Posts: 656
Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 10:53 am
@Tarawen ~ :rofl: ~ brilliant!
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There are some really good LotR limericks in here now, let me add one that's not so good.

There once was an Ent, name of Fangorn
Who wished for his wife, he was forlorn
She gone far away
From where he would stay
And 'twixt heart and love he was full torn.

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
There was a gross hobbit who spewed
His guts everywhere 'cause he was rude
Once the lava snakes plot
For him to get got
That foul Dodo Proudfoot is screwed
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
It was a go-getter who had
A zoo - a quality fad,
But anyone who
Did visit his zoo
Agreed that as zoos go it's bad.

No points!
May the Horse be with you.

Fea
Points: 692 
Posts: 463
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 4:01 pm
There's little that causes such glee
As a biscuit when it's dunked in tea
But of all options to test
Lotus biscoff is best
But woe is you, if you get it too soggy

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There was a fat hobbit who barfed
After a great feast he had scarfed
His belly was bloat
Twas easy to float
He was nearly as large as a dwarf

Warrior of Imladris
Points: 1 565 
Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
The best biscuit to dunk is a ginger nut
And I say this with authority ... but
I am willing to bend
Nay - even amend
My choice for a digestive chocolate
Last edited by Lirimaer on Thu Jul 16, 2020 10:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 373 
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
A muffin is simply a cake,
With a slight difference to bake,
While one is enticing,
The other has icing,
So the one with the icing I'll take.

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a fellow who'd bake
Every other day, early, a cake.
He'd eat it right fast
He always had a blast
Till his teeth fell out, replaced with fakes.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
An old an most greedy Dwarf king
Amassed a great hoard of gold bling
He had found out a way,
To add some day by day,
But the start of his hoard was a ring.
May the Horse be with you.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 373 
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
I really despise all these orcs,
I'd love to just stab them with forks,
To hear them all squealing,
Would be so appealing,
Oh to just stab orcs with forks.

New Soul
Points: 1 191 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:39 am
What should my next activity be?
Do I run with my 'lock or read?
World of Warcraft brings me delight,
But my book does likewise on sight-
What a rough life 'tis for me.
they/he/mischief

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a world full of warcraft
You chose the Alliance or Horde craft
You grind every day
Try as hard as you may
But they'll never make a fourth Warcraft :cry:

Yeah I know I rhymed craft with craft and craft, so sue me (in the Halls of Injustice). :moon:

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
The lot of us used to write haiku
To get points in their multiples of two,
But now it takes longer
To write posts that point-monger,
It's limericks that we've all turned to.
May the Horse be with you.

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