Limericks!

Original writings and artwork by Tolkien fans.
Doorwarden of The Mark
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It's not that you rhymed "craft" with "craft,"
But that it was "warcraft" and "Warcraft"
If that weren't enough
You acted all tough
And spun round and showed us your aft!

:lightning: @KingODuckingham

:lol:
Last edited by Wamba_the_Fool on Thu Jul 23, 2020 1:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Chieftain of The Mark
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The Dark Man's gone to hell not heaven
And Aodh's now stuck on points 497
Haikus were great
Points to collate
The yeast for a dough to unleaven
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Doorwarden of The Mark
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Oy Aodh, you're just one away!
Where will the five-hundredth be, pray?
It's really a pity
If it is not witty
I'm just joshing; say on, man, say!

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 373 
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
Why look at these posting amounts!
I need to start upping my count,
Posting in RP's,
While eating some Arby's,
And stuffing my super fat mouth.

(Slant rhyme, I know, don't yell at me)

Istari Steward
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In my defence, no lesser rhymer than Dr. Seuss himself rhymes sir with sir in his wonderful tongue twister book Fox in Socks. I imitate the greats, you know?

If ever a journey there were
Through forest of oak, pine, and fir
The hobbits' was one
Without Tom they were done
Of this one thing I can be sure.

Doorwarden of The Mark
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If a genie offered to grant me instant memorization of any book, I know I SHOULD say the Bible, or maybe Shakespeare's folios, or something practical like a survival manual or chemistry handbook or something like that, but I KNOW I would look him right in the eye and say "FOX IN SOX."

Of course, it's short enough I could just memorize it now, sans genie...

"Luke Luck likes lakes. Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke licks lakes Luke's duck likes; Luke's duck licks lakes Luke Luck likes."

So there, I am partway already!
But my bane is just keeping it steady:
It's like every new day
Chases choices away
That were made before I was in... beddy...

*snerk* "beddy..." :rofl:

Chieftain of The Mark
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@Wamba_the_Fool --- beddy‽ :whip:
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Doorwarden of The Mark
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@Aodh Hammerhelm It was dark and they were fast? I wasn't holding on tight enough and it got away from me? Ich spreche kein deutsch?

Esquire of The Mark
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There once was a frightful old man
Who wrote limericks no one could scan -
I'm afraid that his style
Is still found in our wilds,
Despite the extended timespan.
May the Horse be with you.

Istari Steward
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I already have Fox in Socks memorized, though I guess I can't prove that on a forum where you write things down instead of speaking them impromptu.

There once was a father who read
To his children from morning til bed
The books took a toll
They rarely were droll
Yet in the last, vital as bread.

Esquire of The Mark
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Posts: 256
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Speaking of gentle old mee-n,
I was thinking of good old sir Ian,
Or dear friend Bilbo,
Has gone now fo-sho,
And we miss him with all of our being.

Ugh...that was terrible. I'm leaving it though.

Doorwarden of The Mark
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Posts: 344
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So the King o' the Ducks is no vulture
But instead is a great man of culture
For the good Doctor Seuss
Is what his lips let loose
If his ducklings are shoots, he's the mulcher.

Black Númenórean
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Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
It's too hot to go running outside
But I'm trying to get back my stride
Ankle injury setbacks
Mean that I now lack
All endurance, so I'll go run then cry
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Istari Steward
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Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a tale of fairies
They lived in the woods, not the prairies
Of mortals they made
Fools like on parade
Then went back to guarding their berries.

Chef
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Posts: 406
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Speaking of tales of creatures
There is one with most puzzling features.
A bear or a cat?
A raccoon or rat?
Chupacabra! Say the conspiracy theory preachers.

(oh no that was way too many syllables at the end there)
they/them/actual hobbit in search of a merrier world

Loremaster of the Herd
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Posts: 955
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There once was a poem form
which was far from the popular norm
I gave it my best shot
but we're coming in hot
relying on a slant rhyme, you worm

(Limericks are harder than I remembered)
In the deeps of Time, amidst the Innumerable Stars

Istari Steward
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Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a difficult poem
Called limerick, it made my mouth foam
I tried to create
Cracked my head like a plate
It's harder than writing a tome!

(I agree, limericks can be brain benders to make)

Black Númenórean
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I enjoy saying limericks aloud
And of some that I wrote, I am proud
I wrote this one in haste
But it still led me to waste
A large chunk of my lunch Plaza browse
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
There once was a Ranger called Strider,
Whom an Elf-maiden wanted beside her
But first, that his worth
Would be known through Middle Earth,
He must rule from old Gondor's great spire.
May the Horse be with you.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 373 
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
Monkeys just swinging from trees,
Apes, baboons, chimpanzees,
Our distant cousins,
Just eating some grubs and,
All hanging around living free.

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
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I am trying to find a rhyme for cousin,
And strangely I think of a dozen,
Not actually twelve,
Though my mind I do delve,
But better than 'and' - I am buzzin'!

:rasp:
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Esquire of The Mark
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Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
@Lirimaer, I had a very long day at work, I'm too tired to rhyme well! :rasp:

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
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To bed with you! I'm only teasing,
Your tiredness it will be easing,
Tomorrow you'll awake
You'll rhyme and not flake
And we'll all find them so very pleasing!

:smooch:
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a fellow at work
'Twas seriously lacking in perks
Each workday was long
And after, no song
For all of his brain was a murk.

Black Númenórean
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Posts: 2854
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The sky with dark storm clouds is spread
A promise of cool temps ahead
I can't wait for the rain
To ease all the pain
Of hot summer days, which I dread
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Master Torturer
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Posts: 840
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:10 am
In the writing of Limericks, my preference
Involves consulting rhyme lists as reference
I just hope that this thread
Is not purist; instead
Has few people who find this indecorous
Loremistress Emerita | she/her

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
Writing poetry and using a reference,
Cannot be faulted, whether a preference
Or an absolute need,
As working at speed,
Can often end up with some ... elephants?

:googly:
Last edited by Lirimaer on Thu Jul 30, 2020 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Master Torturer
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Posts: 840
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It's hard to surpass the sheer elegance
Of Limericks which talk about elephants
But now that I've thunk
About what rhymes with "trunk"
I must simply place hope in my eloquence
Loremistress Emerita | she/her

Black Númenórean
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Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
The lyrics of Mr. Miranda
Would fill quite a few memoranda
About Hamilton's life
His successes and strife
Politician and army commandah
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Istari Steward
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Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
New board games arrived in the mail
I won my first play, didn't fail
My kids can't play yet
When they're older I bet
Board game pieces will leave quite a trail...

Master Torturer
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Posts: 840
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When writing a Limerick, include in your plan
Time to find words that rhyme, and learn how to scan
With a knowledge of feet
The words flow like a beat
And no one can say that your rhythm is wan
Loremistress Emerita | she/her

Esquire of The Mark
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Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
There once was a man, William Gilbert,
Best known for his works for the opera,
But he wrote other poetry
Including some limericks -
Which he wrote without rhymes, the old joker.
May the Horse be with you.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 373 
Posts: 256
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 2:40 am
Fabricante de
Magdalenas, mi amor por
Ti es genial.

Doorwarden of The Mark
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Posts: 344
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@Elvheimdros :lol: :thumbs:

Istari Steward
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Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a tube, all for you
It was filled with both diamonds and poo
There was so much to see
Recommended for me
Slowly turning my brain into glue.

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
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I'm concerned for dear Ducky's well-being
Thanks to this horrible image I'm seeing
Of diamonds and poo.
I'm not sure (are you?)
If it's something from which he'll be fleeing.
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
A tube of diamonds is awesome
A tube of poo is more loathsome
But Ducky ain't afraid
Of movies homemade
As he travels often among that old flotsam
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a show about Clifford
And two decades later, new Clifford
A dog big and red
From a book that was read
You can buy toys and games about Clifford

DID I MENTION CLIFFORD ARGH I'M SICK OF CLIFFORD

Guard of The Mark
Points: 243 
Posts: 85
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2020 2:09 pm
@Elvheimdros WAHAHA!

My eldest son and I made this one up together:

There once was a fellow named Lear
Who did not like his bottle of beer.
It was covered in mold
And a hundred years old
So he said, "fine, I'll taste it next year."

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
Staying up late watching the Doctor
(of time; no other proctor)
I do love ten
Ah, but when
he died, the devastation rocked - Aaahh.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
It's about time for one more of these
But I lack limerick expertise
Revise and rewrite
Till it's sounding alright
While the sunset glows over the trees
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Guard of The Mark
Points: 243 
Posts: 85
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2020 2:09 pm
@Lirimaer

You watch the Doctor? Oh no -
I really miss watching that show.
I was liking it fine -
My favorite was Nine -
'Til 'twas bought out by derned HBO.

Loremaster of the Herd
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@Amhran

Nine was my favorite as well!
(though an unpopular choice, true to tell)
There's something about him
though I know people doubt him
that makes the world an easier sell.
In the deeps of Time, amidst the Innumerable Stars

Chieftain of The Mark
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Posts: 656
Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 10:53 am
I'm off to the dentist
Feeling quite pensive
Pull or drill?
Crown or fill?
It's gonna be expensive
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

Warrior of Imladris
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Posts: 1355
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 10:54 am
@Amhran and @Androthelm

While Nine was a glorious blast
And his reign was over too fast
His story arc was great
In great honour his fate
Was to save Rose before he passed

But dear Ten was a fabulous ride
In whose company I'd ever abide
His desire to do right
And willingness to fight
Drew many other folk to his side

You won't believe the buckets I cried
When eventually he too died
For he was the one
That made Who such fun
That to watch Nine, did I even decide!

So really a pair they remain
Inseparable, remembered with pain
Stories woven together
I'll stop watching never
And I'll love them again and again.
The Wood-elves lingered in the twilight of our Sun and Moon, but loved best the stars.

Khazad Elder
Points: 3 027 
Posts: 2112
Joined: Wed Aug 05, 2020 3:32 pm
Wonderful verse folks! I always loved these threads...

I once had me a mid-length beard
Brown and thick and quite revered
Now me whiskers touch me toes
White and thinned and only shows,
the widened girth beneath me clothes
The world was fair in Durin's Day

Istari Steward
Points: 2 032 
Posts: 1089
Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 3:10 pm
There once was a Trek in the Stars
In one version the captain's Picard
He's caught by the Borg
Made harmless as a Porg
Wait that's a worse version of Stars

(or better, depending on how you feel, but worse fit the metre)

Black Númenórean
Points: 2 938 
Posts: 2854
Joined: Sat May 16, 2020 9:29 pm
@Ta'leus Shieldsong :winkkiss:

Ta'leus - ¿por qué escribiste
Haiku pequeño aquí? ¿Estuviste
Confundido
O tal vez perdido?
O mejor que todo, ¿fue un chiste?
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.

Esquire of The Mark
Points: 530 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu May 14, 2020 8:16 pm
There once was a hobbit called Frodo,
And wandering to Mordor he would go
To get rid of the Ring,
And in ending the thing,
He sent Sauron the way of the dodo.
May the Horse be with you.

Chieftain of The Mark
Points: 1 204 
Posts: 656
Joined: Fri May 15, 2020 10:53 am
It's a long time since I watched cricket
Even longer since I guarded my wicket
Undeceived by flight
The ball I did smite
And smashed a four into a thicket
- he hath not forgotten Image the face of his fathers -

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