The Bifröst (LGBTQIA2S+ & Allies Come On In!)
I know I am way late to the party, but omg it warms my black heart that this place makes you feel safe enough to share <3
Thank you:) Honestly it's a strange thing -- I've been more and more out in College, but it's still a little strange to be public with stuff online especially.
In the deeps of Time, amidst the Innumerable Stars
I bet it is! But so glad you can! <3
Super belated from me-- but I'm so glad you're here, @Androthelm!
they/he/mischief
Never too late for a welcome @Burnt Toast! Thanks for setting this place up!
In the deeps of Time, amidst the Innumerable Stars
I'm so happy this place is back up and running. A bright spot in 2020 for sure!
This is my first post on the plaza, though I was active many years ago. I'm a gay male, and my story is sadly one heard too often. Told to leave home at 18, no contact with family, etc. Years later, I'm doing quite well and am happy with my family of choice and friends. Happy to be here!
This is my first post on the plaza, though I was active many years ago. I'm a gay male, and my story is sadly one heard too often. Told to leave home at 18, no contact with family, etc. Years later, I'm doing quite well and am happy with my family of choice and friends. Happy to be here!
@Cellinion, I can't say I recognize your name from the Old Plaza, but it's wonderful to see you've found your way back to us nonetheless! I'm sorry to hear your story had a hard beginning, but glad you are doing well now, and you are so welcome here
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her
@skekSil, thank you! Oh, I was not well-known on the Old Plaza. Can't tell you how great it is that someone got it up and running again. Cheers.
@Cellinion Welcome back and welcome to Bifrost! <3
Big welcome back, @Cellinion, and great to see you've jumped in here. I'm so glad to hear that you are thriving now! <3
she/her | Esta tierra no es mía, soy de la nocheósfera.
So yeah I figured I'd put my name in here.... I have an odd story I came out of the closet fairly late... I was 31 years old when I officially came out of the closet absolutely terrified (my parents used a ton of homophobic language growing up ALL the time) as pansexual.
Apparently they thought I was bi. Starting at about 15? Me. I was FANTASTICALLY CLUELESS until about 25 that I might even be bicurious but didn't think of the relationships I had at that point as more than college experimenting as this was the first time I was comfortable enough to do anything I wanted as I'd been away from the Land time forgot for long enough to get away from the social conditioning getting undone). Was not confirmed until 31... I decided to come out I was terrified like I wouldn't even let my parents unpack the car until I told them because I wanted to be able to leave asap if they didn't want me there anymore. (it's a 6 hour drive for me to visit my parents and I was ready to drive all the way back at midnight)
My dad when I came out with the comment. 'We knew you were AC/DC since you were 15.' And I was like then WHY WOULD YOU USE THE LANGUAGE YOU DID??? And they just blinked and went wait how we were talking made you think we'd hate you??? And that is the story of how 3 years ago my parents learned to stop using homophobic language over night because they had NO idea that was why I wouldn't tell them immediately that I was dating a woman (they found out almost 7 months later and a WHOLE 2 week before I proposed to her - that turned into a shire show and didn't happen but that's fine)
So yeah I am a pansexual polyam MOSTLY Cisfemale (I have agender days)
Apparently they thought I was bi. Starting at about 15? Me. I was FANTASTICALLY CLUELESS until about 25 that I might even be bicurious but didn't think of the relationships I had at that point as more than college experimenting as this was the first time I was comfortable enough to do anything I wanted as I'd been away from the Land time forgot for long enough to get away from the social conditioning getting undone). Was not confirmed until 31... I decided to come out I was terrified like I wouldn't even let my parents unpack the car until I told them because I wanted to be able to leave asap if they didn't want me there anymore. (it's a 6 hour drive for me to visit my parents and I was ready to drive all the way back at midnight)
My dad when I came out with the comment. 'We knew you were AC/DC since you were 15.' And I was like then WHY WOULD YOU USE THE LANGUAGE YOU DID??? And they just blinked and went wait how we were talking made you think we'd hate you??? And that is the story of how 3 years ago my parents learned to stop using homophobic language over night because they had NO idea that was why I wouldn't tell them immediately that I was dating a woman (they found out almost 7 months later and a WHOLE 2 week before I proposed to her - that turned into a shire show and didn't happen but that's fine)
So yeah I am a pansexual polyam MOSTLY Cisfemale (I have agender days)
Think this needs back on the first page
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her
I've been very lucky to have lived a very privileged life, but this is not true for everyone in my (extended) family. It warms my heart to see such love and support here on the plaza. Thanks for bumping the thread @Winddancer
Just introducing myself here. I am bisexual, intersex, and non-binary/genderfluid. I use all pronouns. It's nice to see everyone (Weny the Elf, however, is a she)
Welcome Weny
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her
Welcome Weny I know I'm late to the party but it's lovely to have you with us!
Sereg a Dîn
Thank you both!
Happy Pride Month everyone!
cave anserem
Happy Pride, Plaza people!
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
Happy pride! So today my small town had its first tiny Pride it had a pretty decent turn out considering it was put together by highschool students (I was expecting about half the adults that were there) hoping next year that it will be a bigger one that has a community lead portion. I'm already gearing up to strong arm certain local businesses into taking part
Sereg a Dîn
Since it's Pride month and I'm in the midst of my busiest few days on the Plaza in a couple months, I figured I'd give an update regarding things that have happened since my introduction post on the first page of this thread. Sorry in advance for the wall o' text.
CW: discussion of transition, attraction
I did a lot of "backsliding" on my transition during the pandemic, which coincided with my retreat from ... a lot of things in life, following a confluence of unfortunate life circumstances and flaring mental health problems in 2019. I quit shaving anything but my face, mostly wore pre-coming out clothes (aside from women's jeans), and gritted my teeth and put up with having to use my legal name in most non-family contexts. However, I stuck with laser hair removal and remained on Hormone Replacement Therapy, so looking back on the past couple years from my current perspective, it feels a bit like I retreated into a metaphorical chrysalis and waited to see physical changes from my transition. At the time, however, I felt guilty about not putting in more effort, and I tried to avoid looking too closely at my body since I assumed I'd just keep seeing the same things I'd always hated about it. Not until I was preparing to visit friends in California at the end of March, a trip that I decided to try to use as a springboard to presenting as a woman again, that I had to actually look at my body as it is rather than what I expected it to be like, and I realized I'd seen way more changes from HRT than I'd realized. That gave me the confidence to keep presenting, basically 24/7, after I got home, which contributed to a positive feedback loop of changes that have me way more active than I've been in years, and actually making progress on getting my life in order.
This picture is from April, after just a bit more than three years on HRT:
Despite coming out in late 2018, I kept putting off changing my legal name, mostly because I wasn't presenting most of the time. If I was going around looking like a man, I figured having ID with a woman's name and "Sex: F" on it would just make things difficult if, for example, I got pulled over by a cop while driving. But since I'm presenting all the time now, it's having a male ID that's potentially problematic, so I decided to finally begin the bureaucratic process of officially, legally changing my name and gender. The first step was getting a court order for my name change, which was shockingly easy, especially since one of the clerks at the county courthouse clued me into a recent change in regulations that made the process much quicker. Unfortunately, future steps have been more difficult, as employees at both the post office (where you go to file passport applications) and the Social Security Administration just didn't know how the legal gender change process works. At my first visit to the post office, I was too wound-up and stressed out to stand up for myself when I was told to file a different form than I'd prepared, which ended up delaying the process of getting my passport since the State Department sent me a letter telling me to file the form I'd initially prepared. But when the SSA field office jerked me around last week, I actually dug in my heels and insisted that I had the correct information. They eventually gave in after trying and failing to find the policy that purportedly disagreed with me. That was a frustrating experience, but I'm really pleased at what it indicates about my progress towards being more assertive and resilient, even just in the intervening two months.
Unfortunately, getting an updated driver's license is one of the last steps in updating one's government records and IDs with a new name, but I'm (hopefully) less than a month away from that. And with a passport already in hand, that means the process of updating my name with various businesses and other non-governmental entities is also in sight, which will take plenty of time in itself, but be 100% worth it to no longer have to hear my deadname (at least, not anywhere near as often). With my recently increased confidence, I've felt up to reintroducing myself to people I knew IRL before my transition, including former coworkers and professors, who I'd mostly ghosted for the past several years, even before the pandemic. Fortunately, none of the people I've reached out to have held that against me, or given me any issues about my transition. That's been really validating. Getting to spend time on my alma mater's campus, which was literally my home at the height of my Plaza activity, and just be as my current self in physical spaces that were so important to me, is a really great feeling. Ditto with the bookstore where I used to work, which I am probably going to apply to work in again as part of my "no longer being a shut-in" plan, since I know I'm remembered positively by most of the managers there. Even just four months ago, the idea of working in a customer service position while trans (especially in the red county where I currently live) felt overwhelming, but that's just one of the many things that feel manageable now. This is only partly down to transition-related confidence—wrestling my anxiety disorder down from "crippling" to "under control most of the time" is amazing and liberating.
Something I mentioned back on the first page of this thread was my then-recent surprise at having found myself attracted to a guy in a more than transient fashion. I speculated that this might presage me identifying as pansexual at some point, but in the two years since I've blown right past that and circled back around to identifying as straight (mostly; a 1 on the Kinsey scale) again, just not as a guy anymore. That was a pretty weird realization, even though I knew this was possible (it's not unheard for trans people's sense of their sexuality to change during transition), but I figure that if I could be wrong about being a guy, there's no end of things I could be wrong about. Part of me can't help but cringe because, like, of course I managed to find the most normie way possible to be trans, but fortunately I've gotten a really supportive response from the few people I've already mentioned this to. That includes my sister, who is nonbinary and would never be mistaken for a normie in a million years, so their endorsement is especially meaningful to me. One thing that hasn't changed is my habit of crushing on friends and acquaintances. Part of me feels this is a bad time to think about relationships, with so many ongoing changes and continuing uncertainty about my future, but on the other hand I feel like always waiting for the "right time" to look for a relationship is a great way to stay single forever, so I recently worked up the nerve to tell the guy friend I've been crushing on for a couple months. Remains to be seen if that leads anywhere, but he didn't dismiss me out of hand, which is nice. :3
Anyway, a big thank you to anyone who actually reads this! I left a lot of things out, particularly my effort to get better at self-care (surprisingly successful so far!). There's a lot in flux, but that feels more exciting than anxiety-provoking, which is a really wonderful contrast to my traditional response to life changes.
CW: discussion of transition, attraction
I did a lot of "backsliding" on my transition during the pandemic, which coincided with my retreat from ... a lot of things in life, following a confluence of unfortunate life circumstances and flaring mental health problems in 2019. I quit shaving anything but my face, mostly wore pre-coming out clothes (aside from women's jeans), and gritted my teeth and put up with having to use my legal name in most non-family contexts. However, I stuck with laser hair removal and remained on Hormone Replacement Therapy, so looking back on the past couple years from my current perspective, it feels a bit like I retreated into a metaphorical chrysalis and waited to see physical changes from my transition. At the time, however, I felt guilty about not putting in more effort, and I tried to avoid looking too closely at my body since I assumed I'd just keep seeing the same things I'd always hated about it. Not until I was preparing to visit friends in California at the end of March, a trip that I decided to try to use as a springboard to presenting as a woman again, that I had to actually look at my body as it is rather than what I expected it to be like, and I realized I'd seen way more changes from HRT than I'd realized. That gave me the confidence to keep presenting, basically 24/7, after I got home, which contributed to a positive feedback loop of changes that have me way more active than I've been in years, and actually making progress on getting my life in order.
This picture is from April, after just a bit more than three years on HRT:
Despite coming out in late 2018, I kept putting off changing my legal name, mostly because I wasn't presenting most of the time. If I was going around looking like a man, I figured having ID with a woman's name and "Sex: F" on it would just make things difficult if, for example, I got pulled over by a cop while driving. But since I'm presenting all the time now, it's having a male ID that's potentially problematic, so I decided to finally begin the bureaucratic process of officially, legally changing my name and gender. The first step was getting a court order for my name change, which was shockingly easy, especially since one of the clerks at the county courthouse clued me into a recent change in regulations that made the process much quicker. Unfortunately, future steps have been more difficult, as employees at both the post office (where you go to file passport applications) and the Social Security Administration just didn't know how the legal gender change process works. At my first visit to the post office, I was too wound-up and stressed out to stand up for myself when I was told to file a different form than I'd prepared, which ended up delaying the process of getting my passport since the State Department sent me a letter telling me to file the form I'd initially prepared. But when the SSA field office jerked me around last week, I actually dug in my heels and insisted that I had the correct information. They eventually gave in after trying and failing to find the policy that purportedly disagreed with me. That was a frustrating experience, but I'm really pleased at what it indicates about my progress towards being more assertive and resilient, even just in the intervening two months.
Unfortunately, getting an updated driver's license is one of the last steps in updating one's government records and IDs with a new name, but I'm (hopefully) less than a month away from that. And with a passport already in hand, that means the process of updating my name with various businesses and other non-governmental entities is also in sight, which will take plenty of time in itself, but be 100% worth it to no longer have to hear my deadname (at least, not anywhere near as often). With my recently increased confidence, I've felt up to reintroducing myself to people I knew IRL before my transition, including former coworkers and professors, who I'd mostly ghosted for the past several years, even before the pandemic. Fortunately, none of the people I've reached out to have held that against me, or given me any issues about my transition. That's been really validating. Getting to spend time on my alma mater's campus, which was literally my home at the height of my Plaza activity, and just be as my current self in physical spaces that were so important to me, is a really great feeling. Ditto with the bookstore where I used to work, which I am probably going to apply to work in again as part of my "no longer being a shut-in" plan, since I know I'm remembered positively by most of the managers there. Even just four months ago, the idea of working in a customer service position while trans (especially in the red county where I currently live) felt overwhelming, but that's just one of the many things that feel manageable now. This is only partly down to transition-related confidence—wrestling my anxiety disorder down from "crippling" to "under control most of the time" is amazing and liberating.
Something I mentioned back on the first page of this thread was my then-recent surprise at having found myself attracted to a guy in a more than transient fashion. I speculated that this might presage me identifying as pansexual at some point, but in the two years since I've blown right past that and circled back around to identifying as straight (mostly; a 1 on the Kinsey scale) again, just not as a guy anymore. That was a pretty weird realization, even though I knew this was possible (it's not unheard for trans people's sense of their sexuality to change during transition), but I figure that if I could be wrong about being a guy, there's no end of things I could be wrong about. Part of me can't help but cringe because, like, of course I managed to find the most normie way possible to be trans, but fortunately I've gotten a really supportive response from the few people I've already mentioned this to. That includes my sister, who is nonbinary and would never be mistaken for a normie in a million years, so their endorsement is especially meaningful to me. One thing that hasn't changed is my habit of crushing on friends and acquaintances. Part of me feels this is a bad time to think about relationships, with so many ongoing changes and continuing uncertainty about my future, but on the other hand I feel like always waiting for the "right time" to look for a relationship is a great way to stay single forever, so I recently worked up the nerve to tell the guy friend I've been crushing on for a couple months. Remains to be seen if that leads anywhere, but he didn't dismiss me out of hand, which is nice. :3
Anyway, a big thank you to anyone who actually reads this! I left a lot of things out, particularly my effort to get better at self-care (surprisingly successful so far!). There's a lot in flux, but that feels more exciting than anxiety-provoking, which is a really wonderful contrast to my traditional response to life changes.
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
After reading your post, I dreamt about you last night, Eldy. Your eyes over your mask, in particular, were a pleasant haunting.
Your courage is beyond words. All the best to you!
Your courage is beyond words. All the best to you!
The world was fair in Durin's Day
Eldy, thank you so much for sharing - what an incredible journey. I’m so proud of you - especially in standing up for yourself when faced with bureaucracy and in reintroducing yourself to people. You’re doing amazing and you look amazing, and I hope you continue to blossom in confidence and joy every day. Good luck with your crush!!!
cave anserem
Thank you both so much! It's really nice to be able to talk about my identity and personal changes on the Plaza, since this community was such a huge, formative part of my life.
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
That's incredibly brave of you @Eldy Dunami! Thank you so much for sharing that part of your journey with us folx on the internet. Given how difficult it's been for me to wrap my head around being ace, I can only imagine the difficulties you've gone through both physically and psychologically. Reading your story gives me hope that my mom (who recently came out to me as nonbinary) will be able to navigate the confusing "who am I" waters.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh
Eldy, thank you so much for sharing! Congratulations on conquering so many bureaucratic barriers along your journey- I'm so proud of you for persevering, and over the moon for you that things are going so well
Despite pride-ing it up on the discord, I realize I've somehow managed to miss posting here- but it's still June where I am, so I'm squeaking in with a very happy pride to all
Despite pride-ing it up on the discord, I realize I've somehow managed to miss posting here- but it's still June where I am, so I'm squeaking in with a very happy pride to all
Evil is a lifestyle | she/her
What an awesome progress, well done! And of course best of luck with the crush, keep us updated!
Thanks, everyone! And best of luck to your mom, @Tod Den Heiligen.
Recent developments are positive. :3Winddancer wrote: ↑Fri Jul 01, 2022 3:03 pmAnd of course best of luck with the crush, keep us updated!
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
Woot!
With Pride over, I thought we should move on to the next deadly sin, everyone moves instantly to Wrath, but, here me out, what about Gluttony? All the allies have to make LGBTQIA2S+ peeps their favorite dessert at least once a week. Also, not for naught, but Jorgy does love his cheesecake.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh
I mean I move to wrath because we have 'Pride moms and Pride dads' who give hugs and the such we need the Wrath relatives to go with the pride parents that they don't have to break anyones kneecaps for you, and nobody expects someone in a prius to roll up with a tire iron and a shovel.
Sereg a Dîn
Gluttony was a bust anyways the stress of moving made me lose about ten pounds, I'm good with moving onto Wrath for August
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh
I feel like September is going to be my Sloth month since I'll be finishing con stuff and actyually taking a break
Sereg a Dîn
I'm a pansexual/asexual, cis woman, using the she/her pronouns. It's been fascinating to read everything in here ^^. As for myself, I've always been surrounded by LGBTQIA2S+ within my extended, from a very young age, so have grown up happily accepting that's just part of who they are, which in turn has helped my many friends who are also LGBTQIA2S+. So I am a strong ally and am more than happy to provide support and a listening ear to anyone. Remember this little elf loves you all and you are all amazing and wonderful people ^^
Sloth month is not happening. I am a moron that forgot I moved back into the country and it is now harvest and my dad called me at 9 this morning to come help after I finish work at the tattoo shop.
He's not suppose to call before 10 but his hired hand specifically asked for me to come help as was best harvest help he'd seen in forever and made sure he called me/wanted to know why I wasn't already there
He's not suppose to call before 10 but his hired hand specifically asked for me to come help as was best harvest help he'd seen in forever and made sure he called me/wanted to know why I wasn't already there
Sereg a Dîn
So, we started calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend in late July when he flew across the country to spend a weekend with me in Baltimore. I'm now at the tail end of spending 2.5 weeks living with him in California and I'm dreading going home, which sucks, but the fact that being around each other every day hasn't made either of us wistful for being long distance is an encouraging sign for the future of our relationship, I think.Winddancer wrote: ↑Fri Jul 01, 2022 3:03 pmAnd of course best of luck with the crush, keep us updated!
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
Omg you made my day! Hang in there, my relationship started out online, so I know about not being with the one you love. And then I moved lol. You will figure it out too!Eldy Dunami wrote: ↑Fri Sep 16, 2022 8:35 amSo, we started calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend in late July when he flew across the country to spend a weekend with me in Baltimore. I'm now at the tail end of spending 2.5 weeks living with him in California and I'm dreading going home, which sucks, but the fact that being around each other every day hasn't made either of us wistful for being long distance is an encouraging sign for the future of our relationship, I think.Winddancer wrote: ↑Fri Jul 01, 2022 3:03 pmAnd of course best of luck with the crush, keep us updated!
Thanks, Windy! One of the goals of this trip was to see how our dynamic works living together. We're agreed that's been a success, so—while we've yet to make any concrete decisions about the future—the dream is still alive.
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
Lovely! :D
@Eldy Dunami - that is so sweet! I’m really happy for you both.
cave anserem
@Eldy Dunami - sorry this is an incredibly belated response, but I just wanted to say how utterly delighted I am for you on all of the above! Hope everything is still going fabulously for you, you look amazing, and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself - I know I am! <3
I have to say that this is an awesome thread.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful Trans Visibility Day and staying safe out there.
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh
I've had some backsliding lately with—well, a lot of things, including how much effort I've put into presenting, but I decided I didn't want to chicken out of going to Easter at my aunt's house and was able to scrounge up an outfit which I was comfortable wearing around relatives I see rarely (and with whom I'm therefore less comfortable cutting corners on my gender presentation). Fortunately it cooled down a lot this weekend so I was able to go with a long-sleeved top. Today went pretty well (certainly light-years ahead of the first Thanksgiving after I came out :V), so in the spirit of positivity I'll chance posting my first unmasked selfie on the Plaza in probably more than a decade.
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
@Eldy Dunami You look lovely - I hope you had a good time with your family!
cave anserem
Thank you, @Silky Gooseness! It was a nice time, yeah. Fingers crossed I'll see more of that branch of the family this year; getting COVID last fall meant I missed Thanksgiving.
Loremistress Emerita | she/her
Happy Pride everyone! Stay safe out there
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh
So, it has been quite a while since I was active on the new plaza. Life comes fast and you think, "oh i'll post in a week or two" and then a week or two turn into months and then years apparently. A lot of you who knew me before with my old username Ta'leus Shieldsong or knew me by my old name knew me as a very different person.
When I first joined the plaza, sometime back in 2005, I was an eleven-year-old little boy who was raised in a home and a town that never accepted any deviation from the standard norms of being white, Christian, straight, and conservative. It wasn't the right town to be mixed and have an Asian mother, I learned that early on. And at fifteen, when I started having inclinations of being queer, it wasn't the right or safe town for that either. It took a long time to deconstruct from the prejudice and self-hate I was raised with. It took me well over a decade to even admit I wasn't straight. I deconstructed from my religion before I deconstructed from the hateful rhetoric I kept within myself, born out of shame and a denial of who I was. It took me a long time to come to the realization that I did, sometime after I fell out of activity on the new plaza, which was that not only was I queer but I was transgender as well. It's been about a little over two years since that realization, with many changes in that mix. I've been on hormone therapy for over a year, I'm going to start the process of legal name change sometime next year, and if I can find the right insurance again, I may even be looking at gender affirming surgery!
So yeah, things have changed a lot for me. If you knew me as Ta'leus Shieldsong or under my deadname, allow me to reintroduce myself as Margaret Eowyn Clementine, or Ta'lea Shieldsong.
Howdy ya'll.
When I first joined the plaza, sometime back in 2005, I was an eleven-year-old little boy who was raised in a home and a town that never accepted any deviation from the standard norms of being white, Christian, straight, and conservative. It wasn't the right town to be mixed and have an Asian mother, I learned that early on. And at fifteen, when I started having inclinations of being queer, it wasn't the right or safe town for that either. It took a long time to deconstruct from the prejudice and self-hate I was raised with. It took me well over a decade to even admit I wasn't straight. I deconstructed from my religion before I deconstructed from the hateful rhetoric I kept within myself, born out of shame and a denial of who I was. It took me a long time to come to the realization that I did, sometime after I fell out of activity on the new plaza, which was that not only was I queer but I was transgender as well. It's been about a little over two years since that realization, with many changes in that mix. I've been on hormone therapy for over a year, I'm going to start the process of legal name change sometime next year, and if I can find the right insurance again, I may even be looking at gender affirming surgery!
So yeah, things have changed a lot for me. If you knew me as Ta'leus Shieldsong or under my deadname, allow me to reintroduce myself as Margaret Eowyn Clementine, or Ta'lea Shieldsong.
Howdy ya'll.