The Neverending Poetry Story [for all]

[Burnt Toast]

"Very well, then!" proclaimed the cow,
"To the next one who states it, a new name, I vow.
Tell me what my new name is to be-
And don't forget the key lime and blueberry."

[Zôrzimril]

“Your name shall be Bob,” said Dwim.
“It fits a cow who’d take a new name on a whim.”
Bob the Cow nodded. “Thus my name is renewed!”
And for the occasion, Dwim brewed a new brew.

[Moriel]

His brew was strong, his brew was rich
His brew was not made by a witch
But by a Hobbit, name of Stitch Dwim,
Who called his beer upon a whim:

[Burnt Toast]

"I name this beer McBob McFee,
And henceforth shall his anthem be-
The following song which now I sing;
Listen close, let voices ring!"

[Zôrzimril]

"McBob McFee, what a merry brew was he!
He'll make you feel like you're out at sea
With legs a-wobble and head torn asunder
By tiny sounds that sound like thunder!"

[Dwim]

The villagers, they flocked from a nearby town.
For they wished to sing and dance and drown
In deep, golden rivers of this brand new ale.
"Don't fret," cried Dwim. "I've got plenty for sale!"

OOC: (McBob McFee is alive! https://lotrfanaticsplaza.com/forum/vie ... 450#p10450)

[Burnt Toast]

The cow decided to visit the Shire,
For he needed to find more brew names to inspire.
It was cleared he had found his calling, his role-
It was time to head to that wonderful shirehole.

[Zôrzimril]

Bob the Cow began to prance around,
Stomping his hooves so they shook the ground.
He couldn't wait to get away from it all
And meet a people famous for being small.

[Moriel]

So small indeed they scarce reached his knee
For Bob the Cow was of a giant breed
Towering high over hobbit man and child
His eyes and horns so fierce and wild

[Dwim]

The Bounders, they bounded to the Shire's edge,
"Wild Bull, begone! Do not pass this hedge!"
Yes, of their home the hobbits were protective,
But to them the cow then gave this directive:

[Burnt Toast]

"Very well, I shall leave, if that's what you wish;
But first you must find me my cat and my dish,
My fiddle, my dog, and the spoon!
For now it is time that I go back, and jump over the moon!"

[Zôrzimril]

The Bounders confounded, they scratched at their heads -
For the cow's new request had filled them with dread.
The dog was a werewolf, the cat vicious and mean,
And the dish and the spoon had never been seen.

[Dwim]

They decided that this was just all too hard.
So instead they let Bob march in past their guard.
Ice Queen and Dwim followed closely behind,
Finding a good pub the main thing on their mind.

[Moriel]

A good pub can be a hard thing to find
Like just the right cheese with just the right rind
But when you find one there's naught to compare
Whether it be deep in a hill or open to the air

[Burnt Toast]

But a good pub, find they did-
And within it, treasures hid.
For that's how dragons their time bide,
Especially those who are green of hide.

[Zôrzimril]

They settled right in with their food and their mead -
it had been a long day; on that they agreed.
Bob the Cow did declare, "What a time we have had!
Now my adventures might just stack up with my dad's."

[Dwim]

"But this in't no place for 'ventures!" barked Mr. Pimple,
A hobbit who thought life should be plain and simple.
Cows and queens; this night was not as he'd planned,
So the silly old codger decided to take a stand.

[Burnt Toast]

"I'll fight you, Bob the Cow!" he cried,
And he rolled up his sleeves and his hair back he tied.
"Let's have a good old fashioned brawl,
Right here, right now, in this pub hall!"

[Zôrzimril]

"Settle down, settle down," said the brewer called Dwim.
As he'd brought the cow here, damages would be on him.
"Everyone have a seat, take a deep breath or two!
Mr. Pimple, I'm sorry for any trouble we've caused you."

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Asked Mr Pimple, "Why have you brought such oddities here
To my humble little pub. I thought it was clear
That unordinary guests are circumspect at best
And I am certain that that cow, has many a pest."

[Dwim]

"Quiet, old Pimple!" yelled Dwim with frustration.
"Sit back down now, you grumpy crustacean.
This cow is here as my distinguished guest
To name our brews, so let's show him our best."

[Burnt Toast]

So Pimple, with a grumble, brought forth the first brew-
And without hesitation, Bob yelled out, "It's named Honey Doo-Doo!"
The pub people were astonished at the skill of this cow,
He could sense brew names instantly, but none could tell how!

[Zôrzimril]

The crowd gathered 'round; they ooh'd and they ahh'd!
They wondered if this might just be a facade -
For who'd heard of a cow with such naming prowess?
"I challenge thee, cow!" cried the Naming Countess.

[Dwim]

With a wicked cackle, she sauntered into view,
While Pimple panicked to present a new brew.
The Naming Countess, quite harsh and serious,
said, "This one, henceforth, is named Lord Beerius!"

[Burnt Toast]

"Very well," said the cow, as the mood grew fouler,
"I'll take you on; bring out the next growler!"
The room was cleared, and all held their breath,
as the Cow exclaimed: "I name it: The Hops of Death!"

[Silky Gooseness]

All gasped at the name.
Was there poison within?
If so; who was to blame?
Whose was the sin?

[Burnt Toast]

"Now, take a drink!" saideth le cow-
"We have a new contest now.
For unbeknownst to Mr. Pimple the pain,
He'd spent the past few years building up an immunity to iocaine

[Dwim]

But the Ice Queen knew that Bob was immune,
And suddenly thought him a violent loon.
"Murdering Pimple... is it the only way,
We can enjoy a peaceful drink this day?"

[Zôrzimril]

"Come here, Mister Pimple," the Ice Queen then crooned -
She knew he'd be better to tame if he'd swooned
'Neath the weight of power from the frigid wasteland.
With a smile on her face, she extended her hand . . .

[Dwim]

Taken quite aback, Mr. Pimple did then flush -
On the Ice Queen he certainly did now crush.
He took her hand and yes it was cold,
But it was the first he'd ever held, if truth be told.

[Zôrzimril]

Ol' Pimple was hoping this date would go well
"My lady, what is your true name, pray do tell?
And what are you doing in here with that cow?"
He gazed into her eyes, concerns banished - for now.

[Burnt Toast]

But the cow was quite jealous; he could not let go.
He'd thought that this ice queen would date him, and so-
He stood with a bellow on his two back legs
And let out a hollering moo that began to shake kegs...

[Dwim]

Then Mr. Pimple with wobbling knees,
Put fear aside to impress his new squeeze.
"Bob the Cow, quiet that shameful mew,
Such a sad noise is unbecoming of you."

[Zôrzimril]

The cow hung his head; he glanced all around -
Then shut his mouth up to muffle the sound.
A flush on his bovine cheeks grew like sunburn.
Now for a cow girlfriend he hoped and he yearned.

[Drífa]

And there she was to his great surprise,
A pretty young heifer named Eldorise.
She had long eyelashes and little round ears.
Her best feature, though, was in the rear.

[Aerlinn]

Bob straightened his shoulders and tossed his head
Swished his tail with a flourish and stammeringly said,
"My lady, my lass, I'm B-b-bob, if you please.
At your service, my beauti--" then he sneezed a great sneeze.

[Dwim]

"Well met, B-b-bob," she shyly uttered.
For her whole life, she had sadly stuttered.
And that was when she did realise
That he'd altered his name to sympathise.

[Zôrzimril]

"Your eyes - how they sparkle! Your nose - it's so cute!
I bet you've a great sense of humor to boot.
Would you care to squire this cow maiden about?"
Bob saw now his chance for his features to tout!

[Fuin Elda]

Well this is a perfect storm
Haikus are my top form...
I found yet another egg
on this I will not reneg