IK RACING Season 1 Race 1

And of old it was not darksome, but full of light and splendour, as is still remembered in our songs.
High Lord of Imladris
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In the deep caverns of Khazad Dum many lanterns and bright pink draped fabric lead the way down into the dwarven racing circuit that was laid out throughout Durins way in the northern part of the great delvings that made up the Dwarven stronghold. Seating was set up in the Stone hall where the race would start letting the multitude of creatures race westward first towards the Chamber of the Crossroads before looping back towards the 21st Hall and then back to the the Stone Hall once more.

Just off of the Stone Halls to the East was the 'stables' which were mostly very nice crates since most of the racers were quite small, and there were lids on some of them to keep them from slipping out an eating the other racers.

There were many great rows of crates, each row a different size, and flagged with different colours, with the names of the kingdom over them. There was quite a ruckus in a few of them as some of the animals knew it was time to race and they were quite excited, others were lazy lumps and fast asleep. All of the crates held animals that any person might use to race for that particular kingdom should they not have their own.

Imladris crates hold hedgehogs and are posted under the colour #408080 (Teal)

Lothlorien crates hold foxes and are posted under the colour #00BFFF (Light Blue)

Khazad Dum crates hold badgers and are posted under the colour #FF40FF (Bright Foo Pink)

Gondor crates hold skunks and are posted under the colour BLACK (No colour code required)

Rohan crates hold raccoons and are posted under the colour #00BF00 (Light Green)

Shire crates hold coneys and are posted under the colour #800080 (Purple)

Fangorn crates hold squirrels and are posted under the colour #008000 (Green)

Isengard crates hold rats (of ususal size) and are posted under the colour #0040FF (Royal Blue)

Mordor crates hold snakes and are posted under the colour #800000 (Dark Red)
Suddenly a loud voice came booming into the Stone Hall through its fancily carved amplifying system.

"We invite all racers to chose whichever kingdom they would like to participate as, but please only participate for ONE kingom, all of our major announcements for the race will be made over this channel. (#FF0000 - BRIGHT RED)
And if you have any questions please visit the race announcing booth and ask!


Rules of the Race
Any kingdom member may race for any other kingdom.
You may not use multiple racers or represent multiple kingdoms per race
All posts must have at least 100 characters of RP accompany every post
Please post in racers kingdom colour to make my life easy
Please make your rolls known at the bottom of your post in bold Examples: 1 A roll or 2 B rolls and 1 A roll
You may take multiple rolls if you so wish to a maximum of 15.
There are 15 turns per race.
Please make your last rolls by JANUARY 30th.
GM updates will happen DAILY if there is racer activity
A Rolls:
1,3,5 - Move forward those amounts
2,4,6 - Move BACKWARDS half those amounts

B Rolls
A spread of -5 to +10 depending on the roll. These WILL come with RP requirements, some are lightly lore based but there are no wrong answers as long as you RP them fully!

OTHER RULES
Spectators please use #FF8000 or #FFBF00 to post!
OOC is to be @myself no need to white out unless you want it private!
Please no Signatures

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Ducky strode into the hall confidently, staff clacking loudly on the stone floor. It was time for a race. A race that didn't involve lava, and was therefore more suitable to his mild temperament. A race he could win, and therefore boast about, even though all the racing would be done by a...

a rat? And not even of unusual size, for a strength and stamina buff?

Alright, maybe save the boasting for after the race, as well as saving face. You know, just in case, even though it was totally obvious that he would win. He knelt down and examined his rat. It looked sluggish, both in disposition and also in a literal sense. Ducky sighed.

"I shall call you Slab." he said with a hint of reluctant affection. "Please try to move like a falling Slab rather than, you know, a resting Slab." He received no response.

B Roll por favor!

Balrog
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Jorgy Underash

Was he late? Oh crap, he was probably late. Jorgy adjusted his fox ears (attached to a hair band that kept slipping back over his real ears) and ran as fast as he could. He wasn’t very well practiced with being a fox, he was much better at being a lava snake, but this would have to do. Why was he even racing, you ask? Well he was once a racing lava snake and the silly little get together race they had in the Shire were he dressed up as a rabbit to make Pearl laugh awoke that competitive spirit within him once more. So why isn’t he just bringing a rabbit to race, I hear you ask. Well, that’s a bit more complicated and… weird. Jorgy, as many will know by now, is an odd duck (not to be confused with the wizard Ducky who is also an odd duck) and the reasons he does things don’t make sense to any but himself. And he had decided that he was going to race, not a rabbit or a fox or a red panda or a rat, he could simply dress up like them (he’d gotten away with it once) and sneak in that way! The judges wouldn’t mind. He had no reason to be so sure about this, but he was. For today’s race, he decided he was going to be a fox. He had to special order a pair of fox ears to wear and they kept on slipping but they were perfect. He also sewed a tail onto the seat of his breeches so he had and nice bushy fox like tail, one might even call him foxy!

But, as this was Jorgy, he was running late. He had gotten lost on the way to the race and ended up in the lake at the deep bottom of the chasm under the Bridge of Khazad-dûm where he took a nice cold swim to help him warm up. Once he realized he was going to be late, however, he rushed to put on his clothes, headband, and faux fox fur frock and he was off!

Please remember, we are narrating a Jorgy adventure here so nothing is going to go quite the way we think it will. Jorgy was huffing and puffing (he’d learn to run better after trying to hop along during the previous race) and was nearly at the starting line when….

… somehow he crashed into the crate marked “Mordor Snakes” and, with his incredibly bad luck and sense of balance, sent the entire box hissing down the great chasm into the lake far, far, far down below. He was, naturally, quite embarrassed by this turn of events. Some judges might consider killing your competition to being a form of cheating and if he were convicted of cheating, he might be disqualified! Well, that was storyline that Jorgy didn’t want to go down. Instead, he had to think fast. And yes, as you can guess, Jorgy is not a quick thinker. However, he did manage to find another box. It was empty so he was going to have to fill it with something. Hmmm, what about these random party streamers that look like noodles? Surely those could pass for snakes? Yes, that would work. On the box he wrote in red “Murdur Sneks”, nodded proudly to himself and adjourned to the starting line.


If we’re starting already, I’ll take a B Roll, please

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Naelia with Asmodeus


Not all the snakes ended up in the lake like the Halfling, Jorgy, thought. There were a few of them that escaped. One such snake, one that was trained by Naelia's Orcish helper, Orngor, to prevent this snake from coming to a bad end, which is what happened to the snake that he gave the moniker Smaug in Cirith Ungol that he later learned had a history of being unlucky. "That was an understatement." the minioness thought to herself as she gave the Halfling a nasty look. She wasn't sure if he was just clumsy, or was secretly plotting to take Mordor out of the race.

"Nice try, Halfling!" the minioness sneered at Jorgy, but decided to give him a little slack, since there were rumors whispered in the Dark Land that he may have been a snake himself once upon a time, and maybe this was his way of attempting to free some of his brethren. "Have a bad experience racing once?" Naelia thought to herself, as she surveyed the damage done by the Halfling. At least some of the snakes survived (including the one that she was attempting to use), so it may not have been as bad as it seemed, but the minioness would still have to keep a close eye on the person responsible, to see that he didn't cause any more trouble. "If Smaug would have survived, these two would make a good pairing!" Naelia thought to herself as she looked around to see who the other competitors were. She wasn't surprised to see that the wizard who had recently competed in Cirith Ungol attempted to do the same here. Rumor had it that his snake didn't exactly like him, so that's probably why he was representing a different kingdom this time around. "Hopefully, that rat will like him better than the snake ever did!" the minioness thought to herself, reminiscing what happened to the wizard in Mordor.

Let's start with a B roll, please

High Lord of Imladris
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The race got started swiftly with competitors from all over, Mordor, Isengard.... The announcer who had clearly been there before for the test run narrowed their eyes as there appeared to be the same hobbit that had been in a rabbit onesie in the first race now wearing a pair of fox ears on some sort of headband sort of thing and had a tail sewn to the rump of his trousers. There was an audible sigh from the announcing system.

"Welcome everyone to the opening race of the first season! We are glad you are hear with us! Remember to have a bite of the salted pork and the Stout Stout from the vendor just behind the seats and enjoy this magnificent race!

@KingODuckingham with Slab the Rat (1 B roll - 12) -1 Your little racer got his tail stepped on and jumped and ran the wrong direct, how bad is his tail hurt?

@The King in Yellow as Jorgy 'the Fox' (1 B roll - 19) +3 You appear to get off to a good start with a jaunty little tune stuck in your head how does it go?

@Lady of Shadow with Asmodeus the snake (1 B Roll - 11) -3 Having survived the crate catastrophe, your racer decides to taunt the watcher in the water, it almost ends badly how does your snake escape?


Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +3 (1/15)
Ducky with Slab: -1 (1/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -3 (1/15)

Balrog
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Jorgy Underash, the “Fox”

Excellent! Jorgy was off to a bounding good start! If there was any hobbit alive that knew how to start a race off well, it was Jorgy Underash! He was so excited that he decided that skipping was the mode of transportation he would use. It was very much like a fox to skip, right? Admittedly, Jorgy had only ever seen a fox once and it didn’t skip but Jorgy was convinced that they skipped, they just did it when he wasn’t looking. It made sense in his brain at least. There weren’t many racers this time around, for which he was sad. How was he going to win a great victory if he didn’t win over a hundred other racers? Slow down Jorgy, why don’t you actually win a race first then you can start gloating about how great you are.

Jorgy began humming. He often hummed as he skipped through the fields of the Shire. He was a rather poor investigator, but it did afford him time to practice his frolicking whilst looking for clues.


Tip toe through the window
By the window, that is where I'll be
Come tip toe through the tulips with me

Tip toe from the garden
By the garden of a willow tree
And tip toe through the tulips with me

Some people in the Shire considered that a creepy song, especially when sung and a tenor vibrato, which Jorgy was able to do. He was not sure why people hated the song so much. He’d had many tomatoes thrown at him as he “tip toed” around gardens and chickens squawked and screamed when tried to sing it to them too. It wasn’t creepy, was it? It had a nice rhythm, creepy or not, and it was helping him keep his stride so that maybe he could stay out in front of his competitors.


Another B Roll, please

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Naelia with Asmodeus


"Well, at least he's a little more daring!" Naelia thought to herself as she noticed that Asmodeus tried to pick a fight with the Watcher in the Water. Smaug would never have done that! The minioness rarely travelled to the kingdom of the Dwarves, but when she did, she found that it had many dark places that she would like to turn into a new stronghold if anything ever happened to Mordor (not that it would, but Naelia liked to prepare for all eventualities, even if it meant re-locating and losing her surviving parent in the process. It was a better option than going back to live with the Elves of Northern Mirkwood, since she would rather die than do that).

Asmodeus, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit more tough than Smaug had been. After surviving the crate catastrophe (he was placed in the crate as a kind of surprise, so that other spectators thought that the minioness was only here to spectate, rather than use one of the snakes in the crate to take part in, this first season of IK Racing), he felt so invincible that he decided to take on the Watcher in the Water! What Asmodeus didn't realize was that the Watcher often lashed out at victims using his many talons, and as one of them grabbed the Lava Snake by the tail, he had to figure out how to get out of its grasp or suffer a similar fate than the unlucky Smaug in the practice match in Mordor!

Asmodeus had an idea; as the Watcher tried to lure him into his large gaping mouth, he would try to bite him in the face, causing him to dip under the water once again, and hopefully release him in the process. He never got the chance to try this however, since the creature tried to distract him with another talon (which he hissed at to make the creature pull it back in) and bit rather hard on the talon that was holding him (almost clean through), that the Watcher tossed him to the other side of the pool while it tried to nurse it's injured appendage before dipping back into the water shortly after, not coming up again until an easier target presented itself.

Another B roll, please

High Lord of Imladris
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We've got a few racers that are confused about which way they should be going but hopefully they'll get their barings sooner rather than later as we don't want them to fall into the Watchers Dinner bowl!*

@The King in Yellow as Jorgy 'the Fox'' (1B roll - 6) 0 You end up getting cornered by some rather proud dwarves that won't let you go further until you try to recite the lineage of Dain, how far do you get?

@Lady of Shadow with Asmodeus the Snake (1Broll - 1) -5 Oh dear. It seems your snake found a well that they thought they might use as a short cut and ended up falling into the Water Works. How do they find their way back to the race course?


Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +3 (2/15)
Ducky with Slab: -1 (1/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -8 (2/15)

*There is now actual Watchers Dinner Bowl to fall into I promise

Khazad Elder
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Drifa finally encourage Dragon to leave his warm hole. He was a particular badger and liked to have his own way. His previous owner had not mentioned this trait to her upon purchase( said owner having been slightly tipsy and reeking of wine). But the sleepy-eyed badger was so adorable in his pink tutu, that she forgave.
As she tied the special harness to his back and offered the first of many worms to the creature, she scratched under his chin and said.
"Greetings Dragon! Drifa at your service! Are you ready to win a race?"

A roll please
Last edited by Drifa on Wed Jan 06, 2021 11:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Woggy had the itch. THE itch. It had been a good long Age since he had participated in any sort of inter kingdom competition and yet here he was. About to participate in said competition.

And that competition was ... coney racing.

Woggy didn't have a coney and he didn't know how to race, having never participated before, but the thrill of competition was just too much. He just HAD to give it a burl with all his effort because he was a fiend for IK competitions, leastways until such time as he started losing and his effort would pretty sharply decline.

He looked at the rent-a-coneys on offer and picked the only one that would consent to his touch. He placed the unnamed coney on the starting line and looked around at all his competitors to then realise their racers all had names and this seemed like a prerequisite. He tried to overhear them to get some ideas to name his coney but their words were all mixed up in the cacophony of sound that was the start of the event.

"WHAT?" Woggy yelled. People looked at him but did not answer. When they looked they saw a confused Hobbit with one finger in his ear and his concentration face on, clearly trying to listen, whilst his coney was moseying back to the crates with all his coney mates. Woggy hadn't noticed.

"Right," Woggy said, when people continued to stare without answering, "let's just go you." He turned to look at his coney and saw him half way back to the crates, so he exclaimed "Oi! You!" so loudly that again everyone stared at him, but as Woggy was only looking at the coney, he figured the coney was the only person looking at him. Given the coney responded to "you" and Woggy had no brighter ideas he decided to maintain this as his name

"Ok coney. You. You and I don't know each other but we both want to win this race. You'll put in all the effort and I'll collect all the accolades. You on board? You sure? Thank(s) You.

One B roll please.

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Ducky was furious. Impotently furious, but nonetheless. Some wacky fellow with fox ears had blazed his way past the other racers, literally stepping on Slab on the way. Only Slab was not as sturdy and impervious as an actual slab, and his squeaks reached the heavens. His pain was palpable. Ducky had sympathy pains and everything. Granted, the wizard's pain was centered on his heart as opposed to his (non-existent) tail. But still. The sympathy was the thing.

Slab had also begun running off away from the starting line, but backwards, in a desperate attempt to put distance between himself and the fox. Ducky slapped his palm into his face, then called out in the language of rats (as best he could remember, anyway...it had been a while since he bothered talking to a rodent),

"Turn around and catch up, you foolish Slab!" He could not tell whether the rat heard or understood, because there was neither acknowledgment nor refusal. There was just a Slab of a rat.

Two B rolls please!

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"We've got some new racers coming into the competition! Lets see if these new creatures can do a better job and navigating this race course!"

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A Roll - 5 ) +5

@Woggy Hardbotom with You the Coney (1 B Roll - 2 ) -1 Your racer thinks they hear a balrog and hides what was it?

@KingODuckingham with Slab the Rat (2 B Rolls - 10, 13 ) +2, +3 There is a bunch of dwarven food being cooked and served near the finish line what is your racer thinking of sinking their teeth into? And on your way towards that food your racer finds some old book pages that have fallen out What's on them?

Standings

Drifa with Dragon: +5 (1/15)
Ducky with Slab: +4 (3/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +3 (2/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (1/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -8 (2/15)

Balrog
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Jorgy Underash, the “Fox”

He was off to a good start. Singing that sound and skipping was working great for Jorgy! He adjusted his fox ears midleap and nearly collided with a pack of dwarves standing in the middle of the racecourse. What the heck? Racetrack security sure had gone down in quality these last few races. In his day as a lava snake racer, this sort of things would have… well it would have happened a lot but that’s because it was Mordor and things like that happened all the time in Mordor. He expected better of a place like Moria. These dwarves sure were intimidating! Jorgy was so thrown off by their presence that he stopped skipping and watched a rat he apparently accidently stepped on ran past him as well as a new competitor. Well this was not going well all of the sudden. The dwarves promised to leave him alone if he recited something about the lineage of Dain. Jorgy had no idea who that was or what a lineage was, he considered for a moment and decided it was probably like a limerick and he was very good at puns.


There was a person named Dain
Whose back was always in pain
He went to the doctor
And what he showed her shocked her
Apparently his beard drove her insane

Was the poem any good? Probably not, but to Jorgy’s credit he had to come up with it on the fly and he still very startled by the group of very muscly dwarves demanding poetry of racers who were just trying to have a skipping good time. He gave his best “please excuse me” smile and tried to nudge his way past them as they deciphered his poem about whoever Dain was. Hopefully they wouldn’t need another verse because Jorgy’s ability to rhyme was directly related to how ahead he was in races.


Let’s continue the B Roll trend, please

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"Backwards? BACKWARDS?!" Woggy was so angry; he was almost spitting flames as he yelled at his coney, You. The only thing in recent memory he was this angry about was when he went on a big long rant and forgot to save the rant before his mind refreshed.

Woggy couldn't believe it. He picked this coney out of obscurity to be destined to greatness, or at least to be destined to be facing the correct way sat the starting line, and still it has managed to go backwards on the very first turn. "I don't have an each way bet on you" Woggy yelled, "I just need you to go forward!"

He was at a loss as to how to communicate with the coney in order to direct You to travel forwards. Neither could understand the other; the coney couldn't understand the Westron language and Woggy could not speak in the coney tongue, so in much the same way they sounded very similar to each other. In mostly the same way. In fact, in exactly the same way they sounded exactly the same to the other, with that sound being an unintelligible gargle. So Woggy did the only thing he could think of - this is, he yelled louder and hoarser than ever before (lo! if only he had a horse and not a coney).

You turned around at the ruckus and saw an angry Hobbit, of man-shape maybe, yet greater, if in this context greater meant about four foot shorter and even less strong. To a poor coney only released from the shackles of his crate, even a diminutive Hobbit spitting metaphorical fire of rage must surely resemble Durin's Bane, a Balrog, a most evil fortune to behold. Mistaking Woggy for a Balrog (which is the first and only time in recorded history this event will or would happen), You sprung up and darted away. But in which direction did he dart?

One B Roll please.

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Not to keen on sitting atop any creature, Drifa had jogged beside Dragon as the badger advanced along the race track at a good pace. Well, actually, it was more of an excellent pace, to be quite honest. She and the badger had passed the other racers with a wave and a
quick bow, and kept on moving. She was so thrilled by this fact that she might have been a little to generous with the worms. But Dragon was in good form - no badger would refuse a fresh worm - for the now and it was best to keep him happy.

A roll please
Last edited by Drifa on Wed Jan 06, 2021 11:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Naelia with Asmodeus


"Perhaps Asmodeus is as unlucky as Smaug after all." Naelia thought to herself as she noticed that the Lava Snake had now fallen down a well that led to the kingdom's Water Works facility (at least she thought it did, by the way the announcer had worded it). Like with Smaug, the minioness decided to give her new snake some slack, since trained or not, this was also his first time racing, and you did manage to get yourself in all kinds of trouble if you were that small and had to take dangers on as you came to them (and perhaps the Watcher flung Asmodeus a little too far, in an attempt to be rid of the pest that mortally wounded him).

Though now Asmodeus was free from being eaten by the Watcher in the Water, it seemed he flung him a little too far and the Lava Snake found himself chucked down a well that led to the kingdom's Water Works. Undeterred, he would simply have to retrace his steps back up the well and re-enter the race.

Getting through the Water Works wasn't as easy as it looked, since on his way Asmodeus ran into all kinds of hazards if he took a wrong turn and ended up in a different area of the Water Works than he was anticipating, but luck seemed to be on his side when he attempted to follow a creature that was heading towards the well he was flung through that led back to the racecourse. This creature seemed to be some kind of crocodile that found itself in the wrong place at the wrong time (much like Asmodeus, but he didn't anticipate the Watcher in the Water would react like that, or else he might have tried to get free some other way). Hissing at the crocodile, the Lava Snake managed to make some kind of a agreement with the croc: return me to the racecourse and I might just let you live; but if we ever cross paths again, consider yourself dinner (or lunch, if it was closer to that time). The croc didn't like it, but he reluctantly agreed.

Returning the Lava Snake to the location where the first IK Racing was taking place, the croc decided that he would lash up some dinner of his own and decided to go after a rat that didn't seem to like his handler too much; a funny looking creature with a pointy hat. The croc opened his mouth as if to gobble up the rat, but he was only protesting running into one of these creatures again (obviously had some dealings with wizards before, probably Gandalf or Saruman) and decided to go after him instead of the rat he was targeting. Asmodeus took no notice to this unfortunate turn of events, since their deal was to return him to the racecourse, what the croc did afterwards was no business of his.

Another B roll, if you please

High Lord of Imladris
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Several dwarves were very confused and slightly insulted by the strange hobbits poem about their forefather, but decided that perhaps he'd gotten into the dwarven ale and was gone for a loop by this point. After all apparently hobbits were having a bad time right now from the shouting going in.


@Wildchild as Jorgy 'the Fox' (1B Roll - 3 ) +2 You think you see a gold vein ahead and go to inspect it... have you found the next motherload of Moria or something else?

@Woggy Hardbotom with You the Coney (1B roll - 6) 0 While your balrog impersonation has gotten You to stop going the wrong way, a cave in has stopped the coney in their tracks. How do they get around it?

@Drifa with Dragon the badger (1 A roll - 6 ) -3

@Lady of Shadow with Asmodeus the snake (1 B Roll - 18 ) +1 Finally getting going in the right direction your snake decides that their going to inspect the foundries since they are nice and warm, where do you find them to get them back racing?


Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +5 (3/15)
Ducky with Slab: +4 (3/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +2 (2/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (2/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

Apologies for the slightly early update I am absolutely beat from work today and I doubt I'll get a post up in the morning before I have to go back to work on renoing so figure a bit early is better than almost 24 hours late!

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Slab had finally turned his rodent body in the right direction, but it was too early to celebrate. Ducky looked ahead and saw what Slab was really after. It was not the finish line, but a roaring fire with chunks of ripe meat off the bone. Who wouldn't be attracted to such sights, smells, and tastes?

Well, the wizard, for one. Not that he didn't like to eat, but he had himself seen Slab rush right past an open book, and a sentence had caught his attention:

"Finally got the courage to ask out Stella, but got confused and asked out her sister Drellina. The beards make them look identical! Didn't go over well."

A lost dwarven journal in ancient Khazad-dum? Why, who wouldn't want to read such priceless secrets! Perhaps it even revealed the location of fabled mithril the dwarves had mined!

"Got a bit overwhelmed after me seventeenth mug of ale and peed down a mineshaft. Foreman was not pleased."

Hmmm...maybe it was better to follow the meat. Slab had the right idea after all.

1 B roll please!

High Lord of Imladris
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Oh dear it seems the fox has fallen asleep and the rat is running rampant!

@KingODuckingham with Slab the Rat (1B Roll - 4) +2 On his way to his tasty meal Slab finds a very old and very fancy beard brush, how does he get it back to it's owner for a reward?

Standings
Ducky with Slab: +6 (4/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +5 (3/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +2 (2/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (2/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

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Drifa brushed off Dragon's tutu and straightened it. She then brushed the badger's grizzled coat. Cleanliness was always upmost in the old dwarf's mind. The halls could be pretty dusty and she had enough on her hands keeping the Ankixogs quarters clean and was not about to start cleaning the other 21odd some halls in the Mountain, although, she was tempted.
Giving the badger a fresh worm, she patted his head and said: "Run good Dragon! Run fast! Do not worry, I will be with you to brush off the dust!"

A roll please


OOC: Sorry about the edits, I forgot my foo color :googly:

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'Well it looks like everyone is sticking to the track without finding any especially fantastic short cuts this race so far! And boy is it sure looking like it's going to be a tight race, however we are less than a quarter of the way through the race so anything could happen!' Came the cheerful voice of the announcer. Who had likely gotten a keg of ale delivered to the booth.

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A roll - 3) +3 (OOC: No worries this isn't so edit sensitive as something like debate!)


Standings
Ducky with Slab: +6 (4/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +5 (3/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +5 (3/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (2/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

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Dragon's was running wonderfully. Keeping a steady pace - especially with the saddle off his back. Drifa could not bring herself to ride the poor creature as it's previous own had. Rumors had it that Sur Tyrion Lannister (the previous owner from another time), was somewhat of a lush and would fall into a drunken stupor atop the badgers back. She liked a mug of ale (or two) from time to time, but much preferred to stay in shape and not waste her days in an alcoholic blue. So trotting the race course with Dragon suited her just fine.
Popping another worm into the badgers mouth, they carried on.

A roll please

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Ducky looked on worriedly, pacing slowly behind his rat. Slab had gotten some weird idea into his head. He had wrapped his lips around the handle of a strange-looking brush. His mouth was stretching and his lips straining, but Slab was making it work. Why, though? Where was he going with it? Certainly not onto the race course. Ducky sighed (yet again). There was no talking to Slab, though. Slab appeared to have next to no grasp on language. That or he was pointedly ignoring the wizard's quite clear communications. Either way, Ducky had given up. The fates would decide the outcome of the race, and Slab would decide if he was going to run it. The wizard was a mere spectator, no coach or cheerleader.

It was several minutes later that Ducky discovered the true motivations of his cunning rat. The brush was for a dwarf, and clearly Slab had sniffed him out with unerring precision. Rats were good at that sort of thing. It was fun to see Slab negotiate too; he wouldn't hand over the brush for free.

Or rather, he didn't want to, but when the dwarf reached down to grab the brush, Slab bared his teeth and squeak-growled. But baring his teeth pulled his lips so far back that the brush fell out of his mouth, allowing the dwarf to snatch it cleanly away off the ground.

The dwarf was kind-hearted, though, and gave Slab a pat on the head and a new toy to gnaw on: a shiny piece of precious metal. Pretty! Now could we get back to the race, Ducky wondered.

B Roll please!

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"It looks like the field is starting to spread out with one of the few vetran racers from the preseason taking a pretty solid lead! But a new comer is doing a decent job of trailing them!

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A roll - 5) +5

@KingODuckingham with Slab the rat (1 B roll - 16) +1 Your racer has found a stash of cram (likely hidden by some child not wanting to eat it), what are their thoughts on it?

Standings
Drifa with Dragon: +10 (4/15)
Ducky with Slab: +7 (5/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +5 (3/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (2/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

Bounding and bounding and bounding along. Jorgy was distracted by singing a song.
But lo, what did he see? A wonderous vein of gold, did he.
So what did this hobbit, abounding and abounding and abounding do? Would he take the gold, and then the dwarves sue?
No, Jorgy cared not for gold. It’s glimmer simply didn’t have him sold.
Sure it was pretty. But was it better than a kitty?
So Jorgy bounded and bounded and bounded away. He was falling behind, feeling a strange craving for whey.
His hunger did drive him, as all halfings are. But lo, there was no food, just reflections of stars.
He was thinking of home, and warm cups of tea. Some bergamot and orange would fill him with glee.
But first he must finish, this race underground. And therefore he must bound, bound, bound.


A B Roll to continue, please
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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We would not call that a fox, it is not even wearing socks,
We may indeed call that a rat, though it is rather fat.

Oh no. The poetry is contagious.

@The King in Yellow as a "fox" (1B Roll - 17) +2 Having sung song your way past a gold vein you decide to use atro short cut using the mine trolleys how do the dwarves about them react?

Standings
Drifa with Dragon: +10 (4/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +7 (4/15)
Ducky with Slab: +7 (5/15)
Woggy with You: - 1 (2/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

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"Welp, at least it isn't backwards," Woggy mused to himself, after his coney stopped dead in its tracks. Only Woggy could pick a coney, watch it stand as still as a stone, and not be unhappy. But the reason his coney stopped was simply unbelievable - a Cave Inn had appeared out of nowhere right in the middle of the race track! An entire Troll Tavern! On the race Track!

"What?" Woggy said. "Oh. Wrong Cave in."

Apparently, rather than a watering hole hosting evil creatures of the Enemy appearing and blocking the way, it was just a bunch of rocks and rubble and the like falling and blocking the way. You used his agility to dodge, duck, dip, dive and doge between the falling rubble, and escape unscathed. Though disappointingly for the athletic coney, there was now nowhere to stop in for a drink on his way.

Two A rolls and a B roll please.

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Drifa and Dragon passed a rat with a worried looking wizard @KingODuckingham walking behind it. The rat had a brush in it's mouth. Strange. Maybe it was the wizard's personal grooming tool? Maybe he was making the unfortunate rat carry it for him as well as running a race? And maybe he was worried that the rat was going to drop it on the dusty raceway? That would upset her for sure. Of course this was all speculation and she did not stop to find out, or concern herself overly with it. She did reflect on beards as she continued on, trotting behind the badger. She had seen quite a few knotty, tangled, beards in her time. Both on dwarves and wizards. Very messy indeed and unnecessary. But she did understand that all crumbs that fell from the loaf were not alike and if some chose to have messy, tangled, beards who was she to judge. Mind you, it still irk her as she was terribly fond of neatness and cleanliness. She continued reminiscing as she ran on about one poor wizard that she had come across who literally had bird poop in his hair and his beard had......

A and B roll please

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

After a fun little jaunt, Jorgy’s feet were starting to get tired. Skipping for however long he had been skipping was beginning to wear on him. Admittedly, Jorgy was not the most athletic of beings, hobbits rarely were, and his muscles were starting to burn and tighten. It had been a very long time since he worked out regularly. In fact, the last time he had worked out, sit ups and squats the like, he had been a lava snake. He imagined working out would be very different and awkward. But all of that was moot because he was in the middle of a race and stood a fair chance of winning. So, what did the reader think would happen when Jorgy came across a mine trolley? It was a short cut, a way for Jorgy to rest his feet, and it was going to be exciting. I’ll give you three guesses. No, I’ll give you one.

That’s right! He jumped in the cart and began working the mechanism that started the trolley moving. It was very exciting. Up until some dwarves started yelling at him in a language he didn’t understand. They were probably just wishing him luck, right? Dwarves were all about being clever in competitions and Jorgy was being exceedingly clever right now. He couldn’t see their faces, but he was absolutely certain they were smiling and wishing him well, telling him to be careful of the turn up ahead. There was no way they were telling him they’d find him and beat him into a pulp, right? They wouldn’t say things like “I’ll find you and throw you off the edge of a cliff you beardless weirdo!” Right?

“Dun-dun-dun dun-dun-dun dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun do-weeeeeee-oh! Weeeeee oh weeeee! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun do-weeeee-oh!” It was the best approximation Jorgy could make to the theme song of Doctor Who, a book series Pearl had introduced him to. How did a book series have a theme song? Well, this is Jorgy we’re talking about after all.


B Roll, por favor
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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Looks like we have a few more racers making their ways along the course once more! Almost all of our racers are a third of the way through the course!

@Woggy Hardbotom with You the coney (2 A Rolls, 1 B Roll - 1,3, 17) +1,+3, +2 Getting clear of the cave in your racer finds a very sad dwarf who has lost their coin purse on the way to place a bet on the races! They promise to show your racer a little short cut of they help find their coin purse.

@Drifa with Dragon the badger (1 A Roll, 1 B Roll - 5, 11) +5, -3 Your racer decides to go for a swim in the Mirrormere, how well does that go?

@The King in Yellow as a 'Fox' (1 Broll - 9) +1 Having managed to not be thrown over a cliff by a dwarf after using the mining trolleys as a ride you have a mighty thirst. What do you do to sate that thirst?

Standings
Drifa with Dragon: +12 (6/15)
Jorgy as 'a fox': +8 (5/15)
Ducky with Slab: +7 (5/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (3/15)

Early post to deal with Server down time right around when this post would be going up!

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

The short cut had maybe worked? Jorgy was still behind the badger (a creature he heard was so fierce and dangerous the kingdom of Rohan down south considered them a state enemy, something not even orcs could manage) but he was still making progress on the racecourse. He jumped off the trolley and began skipping again. His muscles were still sore, but he had had enough of a rest that he was willing to go again. He was skipping along, humming merrily to himself. He went on this way for a time until suddenly, and most inconveniently, Jorgy began thinking about the ale at the Green Dragon. Before he knew it, it was all he could think about. He stopped skipping, stopped moving and daydreamed about the tangy, bitter, bubbly taste of Green Dragon ale. Yes, it made him fall over drunk within a few sips, but he loved it so much! Did anyone here in Khazad-Dum know about Green Dragon ale? They must know something. He remembered dwarves milling about the Shire looking for the Green Dragon back in the day. He had packed a water skin full of the stuff, he remembered. Frantically, he began pawing through his coat. Had he already drunk all of it on the way? Ah! There it was. He fished out the water skin and shook it. There was still a little left! He uncorked the skin, upended it, and drank deep. There were only a few drops, barely even a sip but it was enough. The flood of good times, the laughter, the music, all of it came back to him in an instant. He missed his friends in the Shire. He knew why no one had come to cheer him on or to race alongside him. They were all busy with their own lives and their own goings on but that did not stop Jorgy from missing them. Hopefully, by the end of this race he would have some stories to tell them all with, with a round of Green Dragon ale pints for everyone too.


B Roll, because they seem to work for me
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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To her dismay, Dragon suddenly turned and began heading East in the direction they had come from. Drifa was so surprised at first, she just stood looking at the badger as it sprinted away. "This is not the way to win a race " she thought as she started after him. She ran pass the rat, a hobbit with fox ears, a snake, a rabbit and found herself a couple of hours later, weary as hell, at the East Door. No longer able to keep up, she walk the rest of the way. When she got to the door, she could see the badger running down hill.

"Less than a mile away, and a little below them, for they still stood high up on the west side of the dale, there lay a mere. It was long and oval, shaped like a great spear-head thrust deep into the northern glen; but its southern end was beyond the shadows under the sunlit sky. Yet its waters were dark: a deep blue like clear evening sky seen from a lamp-lit room. Its face was still and unruffled. About it lay a smooth sward, shelving down on all sides to its bare unbroken rim." (TFOTR)

'What does that fool creature think it's doing,' she mumbled aloud as the badger approached the water. Dragon suddenly began to chitter as if afraid or frustrated. As Drifa drew near, she understood why. The Mirrormere was showing off it's crown of jewel like stars. Such a wonderous sight, but obviously frightening the creature.

She scratched the badger's head and said. "You can not go in that cold water, good Dragon." She then took a clay bowl from her pack and poured water from her water bag into it. "You will have to make due with this, I am afraid." She watched as the badger stuck his face in the water, then tipped the bowl over and began rolling in it. " I guess he wanted a bath." Turning from the rolling badger she gazed upon Kheled-zâram for a time, then bowed and turned away, walking back up the hill to the gate. Luckily, the badger did likewise.


A and B roll please

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Naelia with Asmodeus


It seemed that Asmodeus had finally managed to point his nose in the right direction, but since this particular Lava Snake was as curious as a newborn kitten, he decided that he would inspect the foundries of this particular kingdom. Like with his confrontation with the Watcher in the Water, it wasn't long before he found himself hopelessly lost and was in need of guidance by his handler to help him get back to the racecourse once again.

"I wonder if Asmodeus was a common housecat in a former life." Naelia was beginning to suspect, but the minioness decided to leave her "conditioning" in check until she managed to track down the latest Lava Snake that Orngor managed to acquire (even though her trusty Orcish helper did happen to train Asmodeus himself, Naelia was only a spectator in this particular race, so she would have to hold her anger in check until she managed to track him down, and then she would just have to teach this new Lava Snake that he was competing in a race, this wasn't the time to go and explore the kingdom to see what kind of trouble he could get into, since he was testing Naelia's patience more than Smaug ever did).

Slithering around a section of the foundry he couldn't manage to get himself out of, Asmodeus heard a rather angry voice of a woman (and not a nice one by the sounds of it, so he guessed it must be the voice of his new handler, which seemed to be a bit more demanding than the Orc that tried to train him ever was) and decided to go in the direction of the voice in an attempt to get out of the section of the foundry which he found himself hopelessly lost only to suffer the wrath of his new handler when she whipped him with the rather nasty looking whip she concealed beneath her black travelling cloak. Unlike Smaug, Asmodeus knew when he was in trouble by the tone of voice the ones that thought they could train him to do their bidding and decided he might as well comply or else these rather nasty looking individuals might throw him in the nearest pit if he didn't perform the way his handlers wanted him to. If these minions really wanted Asmodeus to comply, they should have held this first IK race in a kingdom he was more familiar with, rather than making him curious about things he never saw before.

Naelia found Asmodeus slithering around the Dwarves foundry, and although she didn't like to use force, she had to threaten him a little (since this was the one thing she didn't do with Smaug, so perhaps it would work better with this particular snake) in order to get him to come out as the minioness directed him back to the racecourse. "If you don't start performing better..." the minioness warned, "I'm going to have no choice but to throw you back in the pool inhabited by the creature that is referred to as the Watcher in the Water so that he can have his revenge and I'll go back to dealing with my nuisance of a half-sister than ever competing in these races again!"

Though Asmodeus didn't seem to care whether he was victorious in this particular race, he also didn't like the tone of voice that his new handler was using, and although he didn't actually understand what she was threatening, he decided to comply, or else he might end up coming to a bad end, much like the snake that Naelia handled before, even though it might not end for him as it did for Smaug...

B roll, please

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We have a change in order now as we get closer and closer to the end of the race! Pretty soon we will be at the official half way point! Don't forget to get yourself some meat off the bone, and ale!

@The King in Yellow as a 'Fox' (1 B Roll - 10) +2 You find yourself a lovely dwarven belt, do you keep it or find it's proper owner?

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A Roll, 1 B Roll 2,15) -1, -2 Your racer gets stuck at an old elvish door that is locked and can't figure out the password. They have to go back and find someone to get them through this elvish door

@Lady of Shadow with Asmodeus the snake (1 B Roll 13) +3 Your racer finds some mice running into a larder head on the race course, how long does it take for them to find said mice?

Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +10 (6/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +9 (8/15)
Ducky with Slab: +7 (5/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)

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Ducky had taken a short hiatus to watch this Slab of a rat try to crack open cram hardtack. It hadn't worked well, but nobody had ever given rats credit for their ability to shift plans on a dime. Slab worked away at a steady, insistent pace, getting nowhere. And by getting nowhere, of course, we mean both in the race and in the cracking open of cram.

Ducky went back and searched for that journal again, hoping to relieve some of his ennui by reading about ill-remembered drunken brawls in the Great Hall and just how dark it was down the next mineshaft on digging expeditions. By comparison, it was top entertainment.

1 A roll and 1 B roll please!

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The race is getting closer and closer the further into the race we get it seems. We have three racers all within a single uhhh length - I suppose - of each other. (It was hard to tell the distances between each racer by a single unit since they were all different sizes)

@KingODuckingham with Slab the Rat (1 A Roll, 1 B Roll - 4, 19 ) -2, +3 Having attempted the cram your racer is onto the next great thing in their mind. Setting up an obstacle/adventure course on the race to run, what obstacles to they decide to add to the race for fun?

Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +10 (6/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +9 (8/15)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)

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Having been to the West Door (I wonder if all dwarves knew the password? I imagine that they must have if they wanted to leave the mountain. Or maybe the door just stood open at times?) and wasting time trying to get it open, Drifa and Dragon were back in the race. Mind you, a considerable amount of worms had been wasted at the door as she tried to persuade the badger to stay by her side as she attempted different passwords, and not run off into the wilderness. Hopefully she had enough worms left to finish the race.


A roll please

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

It felt like he’d been skipping for days. Jorgy had no idea how to tell time in the dark. Jorgy had idea how to tell time. How long had he been skipping? He was beginning to worry that he was going down the wrong pathway. The panicked thought entered into his mind and slowly ate away and his joyful disposition and worry replaced it. He still skipped and bounded like the professional he was, but each bound, each skip was filled with less gusto and enthusiasm than the one before. The crowd, too, was not what he expected. Dwarves, they say, are strange. Jorgy could confirm this. Instead of cheering, they did chants, their voices so loud that the ground shook sometimes, which of course made Jorgy nervous and anxious, scared that he was going to slip and fall into the great abyss below and never be seen or heard from again. He didn’t want to be a hermit at the bottom of a chasm with no friends, no Pearl, and no elevensies. He hugged the wall. Well, not actually hugging, thankfully Jorgy understood the differences in definition here or things might get weird and awkward for himself and the wall. He was bumping and bouncing along the wall, trying his best to stay away from the edge, and not paying attention to path in front of him, when he tripped over a belt. He thought it was a belt. Well, no that’s not entirely true. At first, he thought it was a snake. Not being a snake he recognized, Jorgy immediately kicked it and it went skittered over the edge into oblivion. It was only when it was flailing in the expanse of nothingness that Jorgy noticed it was a very nice, very expensive looking belt. Whoops!


2 B Rolls and an A Roll, please
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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Apologies for those that weren't aware was stuck on my acreage which won't have internet for a while (need to install a 70 foot tower to get a signal apparently) and an ice storm made it so I couldn't safely move for 2 days and my phone was taking minutes to load the main plaza page and was regularly losing connection.

It looks like our Lothlorien racer has zipped along while our home racer seems to be getting confused or wanting to go back to his crate.

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A roll - 4) -2

@The King in Yellow as a 'Fox' (2 B rolls, 1 A roll - 20, 5, 1) +10, -1, +1 You find short cut to help you take secure your lead describe it! Of course when you pop out of the short cut a dwarf stops you and asks you to name at least seven dwarves to prove that you belong in the halls what names do you give?

Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +20 (9/15)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +7 (9/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)
Last edited by Fuin Elda on Sun Jan 17, 2021 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

Feeling more and more confident, and putting more and more distance between himself and his competition, Jorgy decided it was time to take a risk. There were dozens and dozens of tracks (Jorgy had trouble counting past 10 because that’s all the fingers he had, the actual number was 11) branched off from the main racetrack. Any one of them could be a short cut that could help him get to the finish line sooner, conversely, Jorgy also knew if he took the wrong pathway he could end up on sliding down a rock face out into the middle of nowhere and be lost forever. As a reader can see, the fear of loneliness and separation from friend is a recurring fear in Jorgy’s mind. Was a short cut worth the risk then? Before he could decide, a black and white bat flew out at him from nowhere and smacked him in the face. To escape the bat, Jorgy ran down the nearest pathway which just happened to be a short cut that led him even closer to the finish line! However, it was dark in this tunnel. Darker than dark. Jorgy tried waving his hand in front of his face and he could see nothing. He wasn’t sure what doing that exercise was supposed to accomplish but he was sure that he had failed in doing it. Rather than continue trying to wave his hand in front of his face, Jorgy decided to skip on. It was only after he came back into some dim light that he realized that he could have skipped his way into a pit and hurt himself. Maybe he shouldn’t skip with such alacrity if he can’t see the ground in front of him. He was about to round a corner when he was accosted by a dwarf. Again! What was it with Dwarves just wandering about the racetrack? Jorgy made a mental note to talk to the announcer of the race and make a formal complaint about the lack of security. What if this dwarf just decided he wanted to eat Jorgy or something!? Thankfully, the dwarf didn’t want to eat him. But his request wasn’t any less strange. He wanted Jorgy to name seven dwarves. That. That’s it. Name seven dwarves. Just seven. Dwarves. Name seven dwarves.

“Uhhhhhhhh,” Jorgy was very confused for a time, more confused than he normally was. “I once met a dwarf name Tharbeck, and one named Barnsnacle. Oh, and that one that delivers dwarven ale to the Green Dragon and his brother. Oh bother, what are their names? Clyde and Sorin? That sounds right. What is that now… four names? Three more then. Well there’s that dwarf that’s racing, I heard her name is Drifa. Regin and his brother, from the stories about dragons. Uh…. Fafnir!” How’s that? Did I did go good?”


B Roll, please
@Fuin Elda I believe this roll should actually get me up to 10/15
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

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@The King in Yellow as a 'fox' (1 B Roll - 20) +10 Apparently you did do good so the dwarf shows you yet another short cut. Is this one less or more scary than the last? (And yes you were right I forgot to update the rolls in the standings for everyone as I was tired so thanks for pointing that out!)

Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +30 (10/15)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +7 (9/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)

@KingODuckingham @Woggy Hardbotom @Lady Winchester Just a reminder at this point that we have reached the half way point in the month! Most of you are well on your way but don't want you to lose out on any rolls if you don't have to!

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Drifa sang a little ditty as she jogged along beside Dragon. She was trying to encourage him and hoped that he would soon leave her in the 'dust' and gain some ground on the other racers.

With your coarse fur, brown and long
With your short legs and low profile;
you can win this race by a mile.
With your short furry tail,
With your short pointed ears;
you can outdo your peers.
With your painted face
With your head so small;
like a bullet, you can beat them all.


A and B roll please

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It looks like we have someone making a rush to try to catch up to the Lothlorien racer!

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A roll, 1 B roll - 4, 20) -2, +10 Your song seems to have encouraged Dragon to find a short cut as he takes off! Where does he go?


Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +30 (10/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +15 (11/15)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

Well, well, well! How the turntables… (wait, how did that go again?) Jorgy had done so well saying random syllables that sounded Dwarven names that the Dwarf who accosted him (and didn’t give his name for Jorgy’s repertoire) showed him a secret passageway! What luck! Without thinking twice (or once really, this is Jorgy we’re talking about after all) Jorgy bounded down the secret tunnel, believing himself to be on an easy pathway to the finish line. The longer he skipped though, the more he wondered something: where the heck was the finish line? When he was a lava snake racer, there was a clear line he had to get to in order to claim victory, with the track itself in a circle. This race was different. He had neglected to check the racecourse beforehand, honestly he had neglected to do anything before the race started except accidently kill all the Mordor snakes. Jorgy was lucky that he did not start the race going backwards or upside down. How would he go upside down? Best not ask. It’s Jorgy, he would find a way to be weird. This shortcut was starting to get scary, and not in the normal “BOO!” jump scare kind of way. Jorgy was being forced to reckon with his own buffoonery, silliness, and utter lack of common sense. What was he doing here? Why was he still racing? Why couldn’t he have just had eggs this morning and been content with that? Oh Jorgy! Nope, he had decided that he needed to race, despite being woefully out of shape, unless that shape was round. Jorgy! Why didn’t you just go to the Green Dragon? Surely everyone there would have said that this was a foolishly ill-conceived idea. Nope, you just had to bounce and bound and traipse and trudge your way to Moria to race in the dark. Jorgy needed to get out of this short cut, he was becoming dangerously close to becoming self-aware!


2 B Rolls and 1 A Roll, please
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

Khazad Elder
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They were gaining ground when suddenly Dragon decided to take a shortcut. He headed down a tunnel that Drifa was not quite familiar with. Trotting along behind him, she noticed that this tunnel was less dusty. This could only mean that it was used often. A short time later she turned a corner and there lay the badger beside the entrance to a cave. There was a sign above the door: LAST CHANCE PUB
"What a clever badger you are", she called to the creature as she made her way towards the door. " I was just thinking that a mug of ale would go down real nice after all the running, and it would clean the dust from my throat too. I am sure you could use some water, or do you like ale too?"

A and B roll please

High Lord of Imladris
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We have two racers almost finished the race and boy are they flying along the race way!

@The King in Yellow as a 'fox' (2 B Rolls, 1 A Rolls - 5, 7, 5) -1, -3, +5 It appears those short cuts finally failed you and you end up lost in the mines, only to be found by some guards and accused of stealing from the Lord of Moria. How do you talk your way out of this one?

@Drifa with Dragon the badger (1 A Roll, 1 B Roll 4, 20) -2, +10 While the ale may have set you back a little bit your badger has found another short cut where do they go from the Last Chance Pub?


Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +31 (13/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +23 (13/15)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -4 (4/15)

Khazad Elder
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Dragon was getting restless. Having found a few dwarves she knew in the Pub, Drifa was having a great time chatting and enjoying the ale. The badger, though, was having none of it. He had lapped up his bowl of water lickety split, then snooped around the pub for a bit but soon lost interest and began to bark and whine in a 'I got to go' kind of way. Looking the badger's way, she marveled again on how clever he was.
"Well, excuse me gentle dwarves! It looks like my badger needs to be let out. Thank you for the ales! It is time for me to get back to the race."

Grabbing her pack, she headed out the door - Dragon on her heels.

A and B roll please

Orc Chieftain
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Naelia with Asmodeus


Asmodeus was sure a curious Lava Snake. Though he didn't vere off course this time, it seemed that some mice had run afoul of some larder head (whatever that was) on the racecourse, and Asmodeus was determined to track said mice down.

"He's probably hungry." Naelia thought to herself as she watched her new competitor try and track the rodents down. Of course, this might mean that Asmodeus would fall behind again, but at this point, the minioness was more accustomed to this new snake's curiosity and let him be for the time being. If he managed to survive (unlike Smaug before him), Naelia might want to help Orngor further train him (if Asmodeus was up to it, since he seemed more curious as to his surroundings than competing in any kind of race, no matter where it was being held) so that he grows more accustomed to this particular activity, and doesn't wander (or rather, slither) off at the first curious thing he finds (the minioness still thought that her new competitor started life as a common housecat rather than a Lava Snake, since if one of the Halflings can change from a Snake to a Halfling, than why not a pet that many of the free peoples like to keep around for company, or whatever they did with such curious creatures).

Asmodeus, on the other hand, was making sure he stayed on the racecourse whilst he hunted down the pesky little rodents that wandered onto the racecourse, but managed to get into trouble when they ran into something referred to as a larder head. Was it some kind of delicacy the Dwarves liked to feed the vermin of their kingdom? The Lava Snake would have to track down the mice to find out.

It didn't take him quite as long as his new handler was expecting, since as he was slithering around a bend in the racecourse, he managed to spot one of the rodent's tails sticking out, and managed to slither close to their location, noticing them in some kind of fight with something the free peoples might call a type of beetle that was trying to make a meal out of the mice. Asmodeus, hissing as he came nearer, tried to bite at the beetle until it dropped said mice, but was then in danger of being eaten by the curious Lava Snake, as the mice skittered away, trying to avoid the same fate as the beetle that was trying to make a meal out of them!

Satisfied with his "rescue attempt" of said rodents, Asmodeus turned to face them, but noticed them skittering away in a different direction, and to avoid falling too far behind and a scolding by his handler, decided to stay on the racecourse and try to catch up. He knew he wouldn't be victorious in this particular race, but what were his handlers expecting? An impossible feat by a creature that never took part in any type of race before, regardless of the fact that the Orc that was some type of helper to his handler tried to train him so that he wouldn't suffer the same fate as the one who came before him?

Another B roll, if you please


OOC: I hope a larder head is some type of beetle, because that's all I could find reference to when I looked it up.

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Jorgy Underash, the ‘Fox’

Jorgy gulped. Stealing? This was a serious predicament. He’d gotten lost (both physically and mentally) and after who knows how much time he wasted getting that way; he was in deep trouble. Apparently there was a thief about in Moria, a thief that looked remarkably like Jorgy. But it couldn’t have been Jorgy. Right? He had to think about this. They had some compelling evidence and Jorgy had, well he’d gotten so lost he very well could have ended up stealing something…

Wait…

No, that’s not right. Not at all! That was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever thought. Okay, not the most ridiculous thing (that still belong to him believing that the Green Dragon Inn was in fact a dragon disguised as an inn) but it was close. No. No, he reassured them it as not him.

They were not convinced. They had a description after all.

Flummoxed, Jorgy knew there was only thing to secure his innocence. A thief hunt! If it worked in Mordor, it would work in Moria, right? Mor(e) or less? Hahahaha!

The dwarves didn’t appreciate the pun (heathens!) but they decided to take the thief hunt idea under advisement. Instead of letting him go, one of them decided they were going to run the rest of the race with him, to make sure he didn’t get into any more trouble. Jorgy’s bounding and skipping suddenly seemed foolish.

But did that stop him from doing it?

Heck no! He skipped and bounded even more, the finish line was almost in sight!


Give us a B Roll, please
Strange Fruit got holes in the flesh but it ain't gonn' spoil cause it never was fresh

High Lord of Imladris
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Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2020 7:53 am
And we have our first racer crossing the finish line with the fantastic badger Dragon!

@Drifa with Dragon the Badger (1 A roll, 1 B Roll - 1, 17 ) +1, +2 As you go bounding across the finish line you realize your racer has gone after a dwarven childs turkey leg. What do you give them in return for not getting too upset at your racer?

@Lady Winchester with Asmodeus the Snake (1 B Roll - 11) -3 Beetle seems to take exception to being called a beetle and having issue with the mice... More likely he doesn't want it getting out he needed a Mordor sneak to help him so he gives your snake some horrible directions to get back on track!(OOC: As there really were no wrong answers this got funny pretty fast. The Larder Head is the guy in charge of making sure ones larder is properly stocked at all time on large estates and manors... we now have a dwarf named Beetle O'Sumsurt)


@The King in Yellow as a 'Fox' (1 B roll - 1) - 5 The watcher in the Water has gotten very very angry and has decided to make you pay for well something. What has the watcher so angry at you?


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Standings
Jorgy as 'a fox': +26 (14/15)
Drifa with Dragon: +26 (FINISHED)
Ducky with Slab: +8 (7/15)
Woggy with You: -+5 (5/15)
Naelia with Asmodeus: -7 (4/15)

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