Post Office of the Four Farthings

[Farewell]

“By no means all Hobbits were lettered, but those who were wrote constantly to all their friends (and a selection of their relations) who lived further than an afternoon’s walk.”
~ Tolkien, Prologue, The Fellowship of the Ring

As you walk along the main street of Hobbiton, you come across a small building nestled between a sweet-smelling candy store and a busy tailor shop. The walls of the edifice are made of fine oak, glazed, and made strong. Positioned above its wide-swinging doors, hangs a lengthy sign with neatly engraved letters spaced evenly: ‘Post Office of the Four Farthings’.

Upon various pedestal writing desks, bottles of dark ink can be found attached with fine chains to light-colored quills. Parchment scrolls of varying lengths have been stacked atop their pine surfaces as well. Milo Poppy and his mail carriers dash to and fro as they prepare to load their ponies with numerous satchels. He raises his eyes at you as you enter and approach his half-round reception station.

“G’day,” his voice rings out in greeting, “How can I assist you?”

Welcome to the Post Office of the Four Farthings!

You can send bills, postcards, holiday and birthday greetings, well wishes, circulars, gifts, and letters.

Please keep in mind, this postal thread is for composing messages and sending packages only.

You may also wish to tag the roleplayer of the character you are writing to.

~ * ~

Eriador Mail Service RP - viewtopic.php?f=10&t=515

The Dwarven Express (Post Office) - viewtopic.php?f=15&t=622

The Old Mailing Tree - viewtopic.php?f=16&t=202

Riddermark Ærendgewrit—Rohirric Mail - viewtopic.php?f=12&t=299

Minas Tirith's Mail ~ The Roquen Express Revived - viewtopic.php?f=11&t=474

The Mordor Post Office - viewtopic.php?f=14&t=503

[Dwim]

Dear @Annúnfalas,

I am hoping this letter reaches you in time before you leave the Shire, as I'm afraid I do not know which foreign Elven land you have come from. Your efforts in coordinating the reshaping of the Shire's postal service are profoundly appreciated. I cannot thank you enough.

Our once great service had become a shambles. Letters were taking months to arrive, or were delivered to the wrong homes, or were simply not arriving at all. My neighbours knew more about my life than I did, as they were always receiving my mail, reading my letters with pleasure as if they were weekly gossip articles.

I feel you have empowered Milo Poppy with both the confidence and the organisational skills necessary to lead his team of carriers towards a newfound reputation of reliability, promptness and success. It is with the greatest pleasure that I stamp this letter, the first ever letter processed by the new postal service (I must confess, I pushed in line to make this happen), with full confidence that it will reach its intended target within an impressive timeframe.

With sincerest gratitude,

Dwim Took

[Silky Gooseness]

@Lailyn

Dearest Rilla,

Thank you so much for the delightful mug! I am so sorry for the lateness of your response. My mother found it and alas, she has the most terrible habit of opening my Mail for me. Out of concern, no doubt; yours truly is a scatterbrained hobbit and she assures me that if she didn’t do these things for me I should never do them myself. A lad cannot contradict his Mother so I shall say no more.

As it happens, your mug found a second life as a Planter; we popped some tulip bulbs in them and we were just getting the most delightful little Sprout when that scamp Pinkletoes knocked it off the kitchen window!! So it has been chipped once again, but rescued; and now it lives in my bedroom.

At present I shall decline to send an invoice to @Menolly re the mug; please don’t mention it again around Mother as I am slightly worried she may March up to Menolly and begin shaking her down which would do nothing for our friendship.

I do hope to see you again soon; perhaps we might have tea some time?

AAffectionately yours,

Silas Hardwick

[Lail]

Dear Silas,

Not to worry. I understand how meddlesome parents can be! Wait a minute, scratch that... no I don't.

Mine let me run around and do whatever I wanted to from Buckland to Frogmorton and back! Hm. One time I even wandered off for three whole days and nearly got lost in Woody End but a nice old fellow came along helped me find my way home. When I got back no one knew I'd been gone - not even one of my eight siblings! I'm not sure how anyone could not miss me, do you? I will never forgive them for it!

I am pleased the mug was useful but do you think Pinkletoes was jealous of my fine artistry and knocked it over on purpose?! I would be heartbroken if she did not like me!

Yes! Tea sounds scrumptious especially if there are crumpets, biscuits, eggs and a nice sausage roll! We could invite all our friends from the Walking Club and have a jolly good time.

Your mother isn't cross with me is she? Did the mug smooth things over? Should I keep a wary eye out? I won't mention the you-know-what again...but I appreciate a warning if so. Sometimes I can't tell if people are giving me the stink-eye or if they just smoked a particularly bad batch of Old Toby... those bad leaves will stick with you for a while. Trust me, I know.

Your friend,
Rilla B.

@Sil

[Istya Alassea]

Dear Doctor Longbottom (NPC),

I have a couple of somewhat urgent - and perhaps one not so urgent - questions for you. My urgent one has to do with my infant daughter. I find her coughing every now and then, and shortly after I come to hold her and pat her back, she starts laughing and giggling. I suspect she is coughing just to try and get my attention. How would I know this for certain? Are there any symptoms I should look out for to make sure she just wants her mother's attention or to see if the coughing is something a little more serious?

I also want to say that your idea to re-open the Shire Medical Clinic here has been a little bit of a bust. No one is getting sick! I know we are in strange times and that hobbits don't normally leave their homes anyway - whether or not strange times are upon us. But what do you think I should do in order to bring in the crowds? Be grateful that we are all okay? I don't want to go around dismantling hobbit hole doors or carving out random holes in the ground in certain places around Hobbiton, so I would like your suggestions as to what I should do in order to gain more interest in the establishment.

Thank you for your time!

Istya Alassea

[Chrysophylax Dives]

OOC: While fixing my forgotten plaza password my auto password app. reverted to my older name. When I noticed, next time I logged in, I felt obliged to accept the inadvertent return of my dragon identity. But this does leave some loose ends in the origin story of our Undertowers in the plaza. Also, the current plaza situation seems a tad weird (but maybe it always is).

Dear @Saranna,

Some while ago, having delivered (yes - delivered; me, a male dragon!) my very own dragon egg, I flew into the West and instructed two old friends to transport the egg to Elostirion, where I indeed picked it up before hatching and final delivery (here). Possibly I was a tad paranoid, but I feared an admin posse would attempt to steal the egg before it left the plaza, and so looked to two of my more seasoned, not to say hardened, friends - Tree and Hill. Tree was one of my best friends, steady as an oak; only not too much up top, if you get my meaning. Hill was an architectural genius, but embittered, for his designs were never received well. His towers have garnered a dubious reputation, and his huorn farm in the Westmarch breaks at least seven nuplaza DEI regulations. The trouble with Hill is that he is half Barrow. He never worked out which side of the Hill he was - until now.

Saranna, I don't know how to tell you this, but, well... - no point beating around the bush. Well, the thing is, I am very sorry to say, but Hill has eloped with the Wāt-fairy.

Yes. Hill has abandoned all of his parental responsibilities to pursue an empty fantasy. What really did for him, I am convinced, was reading all those posts by @Ephtariat about fairy-mistresses. The idea was quite novel to Hill, but once he had it clear in his head, and also worked out that the spirit of the ruins was not a wight but a wāt, and so a fairy, he was off west with flowers and poetry and what have you every night after Fairbairn's open-house closed. Personally, I thought the Wāt-fairy had more sense than to fall for Hill's insane babble, but you never can tell with fairies.

So Hill and the fairy are somewhere far away - honeymoon in Fornost was the last I heard, but they could be anywhere in Middle-earth or out of it by now. And that leaves all these little Hills.

I don't suppose you would be a dear and adopt them all as Library minions? It would be a great kindness, and allow me to tick another thing off my list as I try to clear up the mess that Hill has made.

<Melkor edit: moved this to the mail thread>

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Rivvy Elf, I'm happy you moved the letter to @Saranna to a post office but technically I am not sure it was the correct move. This thread is a post office for the four farthings. While I am not denying that the Westmarch is part of the Shire (if we are in the 4th Age), it is not in any age of the world within the Four Farthings. Presumably, the Westmarch had its own postal service - either that or they changed the name of the postal service in the 4th Age.

What do you suggest?

[Rivvy Elf]

@Chrysophylax Dives As the thread-runner is no longer on the plaza, I shall assume the role of threadrunner and declare that the Westmarch is included in this thread's postal service.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Chrysophylax Dives As the thread-runner is no longer on the plaza, I shall assume the role of threadrunner and declare that the Westmarch is included in this thread's postal service.

Dear Rivvy Elf,
Thank you very much! I don't know how far your threadrunning powers go, but is it legal/permissible to tinker with the OP and restore the (or any) image at the top?
Your gratefully,
Chrys. Dives

[Rivvy Elf]

@Chrysophylax Dives It's a dead link so I just eliminated the image.

[Ephtariat]

@Chrysophylax Dives what's a Wāt-fairy?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Ephtariat,

Nice to read you here again! I am writing to you from Undertowers via the Shire postal service. This thread is the Shire post office, and so posts should - in theory - be letters, as this one.

To learn about the Wāt-Fairy, see Undertowers - the ruins of Cerin Amroth.

Your sincerely,

C. Dives

[Ephtariat]

Dear @Chrysophylax Dives,

Thanks! That was fun.

Sincerelly,
Ephtariat

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Ephtariat,

I owe you an apology. And sincerely, I am very sorry for my unconscionable posts in conversation with you on the biopic thread. The fact is that I got annoyed by your not waiting for a reply on your Hello again! thread, and that annoyance coloured the tone of all my posts until, in the end, I exploded with irritation contained for six months. None of it was warranted - the Hello again! thread was for others to engage with, not me, and the plaza is not the place to address the issues that I raised and certainly is not the place for personal attacks, which I ended up levelling at you. Once again - apologies!

If I may attempt to resume communication in a constructive way, I do think that we need a sort of meta conversation. Partly about method, but basically recognizing the fact that we disagree about a lot of things concerning Tolkien, and at the core this disagreement seems to preclude conversation. What I mean is that you deem Elves sacred, and so are profoundly offended by my interest in Elves as monsters and ideas of human unions with monsters; but my interest is at the heart of my own research. So we appear unable to converse. I do not frame this as criticism, and would like to move beyond it. I would genuinely like to read your thoughts on how this might be achieved.

Your sincerely,
Chrys Dives

[Aikári Salmarinian]

@ Chrys.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Rivvy Elf,
I hope you are well. How is the weather where you are?
Can you explain how the postal system works please? If I want to send a letter to Mordor, can I post it here in the Shire? (Obviously, I would rather avoid posting it in Mordor).
Thank you!
Chrys. Dives

[Rivvy Elf]

@Chrysophylax Dives the weather here in Angband is as cold or hot as I want it to be. For as the Elder King, the air is under my dominion.

If you wish to send a letter to Mordor, you have to go to the Mordor post office to send it.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Rivvy Elf,

Thank you for your letter. Angband sounds nice. Here it is raining again.

On the postal service, I was very much hoping for a different answer. I have a letter that must go to Mordor, but would much prefer someone else to deliver it. Not to say anything bad about Mordor, of course. I am not prejudiced in these matters and have in the past counted several Goblins among my aquaintances, and even lived a while in the East Anglian Fens (though that is rather Troll country). It is only that at present I would rather avoid dismemberment and a violent death, and was hoping some Hobbit postal worker might take on that side of things for me.

I will step outside the post office and see if I can drum up some volunteers.

Yours professionally,
Chrys. Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Rivvy Elf,

I hope you are well and enjoying a clement climate. The weather here is a little too hot. Are you still running the post office? It would be nice to know if the Goose ever managed to count the 13 votes. Are the post offices of the Shire now under new management? Will anyone ever notice?

Yours sluggishly,
Chrys. Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Rivvy Elf, @Arnyn, and @Pele Alarion,

Congratulations on your election to the civil service of the plaza. I know your time is precious, and am certain that you will all face the hard and thankless road ahead with the heart of a Gamgee, or at least a Merry or a Pippin. So I will not tell you about the weather (though it is quite nice this morning). In this letter I will come straight to business.

Would the new administration consider extending the plaza postal service? At present I can only send a lettter from the Shire within the Shire, although admin magic power did extend the borders of the Shire to include Undertowers, for which I am much obliged. But what I would really like to do is send a letter to Mordor without leaving the Shire.

Now that a hard campaign season is over and you all at last get down to the hard work of government, may I express my hope that overcoming the limitations of a network of unconnected postal services is high on your agenda from the very first day?

Yours most civily,
Chrys. Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

PS. If fairies can give points surely they can deliver letters? Just thinking out loud. If inter-region letters all came out in red ink that would - in my opinion - be a price worth paying. I do appreciate that it would be a hard sell to the fairy. Just think: from the offer of a dream house on the hill that is not Cerin Amroth to the West of Undertowers to trudging round Middle-earth delivering letters, packages, and postcards, cursing the bitter rains and winds of the North no less than the scorching sun down South. But maybe we could dress it up a bit as a fairy-fantasy? The NPFX (nuplaza nob-binary-Father-Christmas). I'm not proposing this or anything, just throwing out suggestions. Trying to also do my bit for the common good.

[Arnyn]

The letter seems to have come from very far away, carrying a triple personal seal and several stamps; from Mordor, Angband, Minas Tirith, and even one that cannot exactly be linked to any specific land at all. The seals seem to have been sprinkled with something that catches the light.

Dear @Chrysophylax Dives


Sending a non-roleplay letter through a role play thread feels quite bizarre, but the powers that be have decided to roll with it just so we might send you this reply.

Traditionally, letters sent to characters living in a certain kingdom were also posted in the postal service thread of said kingdom. Why, you ask? Simply because that thread was were they would be most likely to come across it and actually offer up a reply. Role players tethered to Imladris would not be checking several other postal service threads in KD, MT, Fangorn, Mordor, etc - on the off chance someone were to post a letter for their character. Plus, the opening post usually detailed that this was where letters to people living in x should go.

On this new plaza, our resident cave troll has, however, enabled the ingenious system of tagging - meaning that when the sender of any letter in any kingdom's postal service thread tags any recipient (representing any character from any kingdom)... the recipient will be alerted. The pillar of practicality on which this 'old way' stands, is no longer load-bearing.

Which brings us to the opening posts. We have reviewed the different OP's of the postal threads and have found that the majority no longer detail that it should only be used to send letters to people living in limited areas. The focus tends to be on the area represented by the kingdom, yes - however, most open the thread up. Or say nothing.

Thus, the 'old way' now stands solely on the pillar of tradition.

Thus, if you wish to send a letter to Mordor through the Shire's post office, you can. The opening post says nothing to prohibit it, nor does the Mordorian post office's opening post. Just make sure to tag your recipient, so they do not miss it!


Believe in the hitherto impossible,
Your admin team

[The Good Hunter]

Salutations Dr. Dives,

A dragon with a doctorate? Color me curious, how did one such as yourself earn this degree? Was it honorific or did you earn it, and if so, prithee tell me where you earned such a thing in a world such as this.

Your words are curious as well, you say this is not an official response to my previous letter, yet it is a reply all the same. You are an odd one, doctor dragon, an odd one indeed. And why should a dragon fear to walk through the ash of Mordor? Do you fear the ghost of the Dark One? He can do naught but stalk your dreams in the bleakest, stormiest of nights. Fear not his wrath. My wrath, though, is vast, deeper than the sky. My siblings oft carry my wrath with them and drop the torch upon their fool heads. Still, I love them dearly. They are far better company than much of the remnants of Mordor these days.

I do believe Qrarru appreciated your tribute, he stole two of the heads and the third appears to be that of Tom Shippey, though the flesh is somewhat decayed so it’s hard to tell. I shall have to take it to the taxidermist and see what they are able to do with regards to preservation. Mayhaps I shall begin a collection of scholar heads, surely they will be good for divination purposes. I don’t often go in for such nonsense as that, but one else can one do with an assortment of skulls that is considered “PG-13”? I had to pry the Shippey head from Outis who thought it would make a good football if stuffed properly. He’s not wrong, but he is rather uncouth.

I have heard of this Troll, the true power being the demiurges, not a god but something close akin, perhaps. I hear though, he is well benign and easy going, as long as the fuss we make doesn’t reach too putrescent a level. There is rumor of a Great Hymn to the Troll that exists somewhere, akin to the Great Hymn to the Aten, if fanatics can be believed. I don’t particularly though, it feels made up by a fevered mind who is shaping Mordor into a thing of his own creation right under the noses of the demiurges, perhaps this madman will be a worse god than the one that fell. Power, as you say, is relative and I believe he holds more power within this realm than anyone might care to admit or understand. After all, he has more pieces on the chessboard than anyone else and only he seems to know the rules that he makes up and discards on the spot. A strange madman indeed he must be.

I am familiar with the name Bųbosĥa, there are as many rumors about her as the Troll but they are more nebulous and unclear, a centipedal figure that stands over the form of my spa’s former owner. He was, shall we say, obsessed to an unhealthy level with her. Perhaps she ate him and that’s why he’s finally disappeared. The word fleegian ought to be dictionized as “so stupid that it borders on comical” in a most derogative way. I like her, especially if she ate Fleeg. That seems a better fate that what he deserved at any rate. She is to be feared, naturally, but she is also an object of awe and worship from the days of yore. I suspect, dear doctor dragon, you don’t know how old I really am. I have existed in the days before kingdoms, before the ranks of Fangorn and Lothlorien. I remember when ~ h a s t e ~ ruled the black lands and the membership was below quadruple digits. The goblin goddess is to be obeyed, feared, and revered.

I am intrigued by the idea of an alliance, doctor dragon. It is a perverse and blasphemous notion. If I agree to it, what would be my gain? The rule of Mordor is not officially mine, though my personalities are so deeply ingrained within the rot and ash of this land one could say “I AM MORDOR” and not be too incorrect at this juncture. “Who needs gods when you are a Balrog?” as the philosophic question goes. As the queen of the unlight, what do I have to gain in the Shire and Fangorn? Do you wish to stave off an invasion? Rest assured, I have shadows that extend to every inch and line of code. I have seen the Abyss, and all that lies within, as the song goes.

I shall have my brother Outis deliver this letter to your own home in the Shire, he’s good at being slippery; I pray he does not gum to letter too much. You see he lost all the teeth on the right side of his head when he tried to bite, well best not to talk too much about what he bit. If the paper is too moistened by goblinish saliva I will endeavor to find a better mode of transportation.


Giqhohqha


--------------------
@Chrysophylax Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

The letter seems to have come from very far away, carrying a triple personal seal and several stamps; from Mordor, Angband, Minas Tirith, and even one that cannot exactly be linked to any specific land at all. The seals seem to have been sprinkled with something that catches the light.

Dear Arnyn,
Thank you for your kind email. I have read it through twice and do not understand it. Here is the thing: a while back I sent a letter to Mordor and have been checking the Mordor post office ever since for a reply! Now I turn up at the Shire post office I discover the letter from Mordor has been delivered here - but I never noticed, so did not respond, and may now have incurred the displeasure of the Black Star and Sand Spa. Please know that I do not actually blame the thee of you for this situation, and in light of my other missions at the post office today have no intention of raising this as an official matter. Nevertheless in my negotiations with the Goblins I am going to make out that the whole mess was your fault. I hope this is satisfactory.
Yours sincerely,
Chrys Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Arnyn,

The Mistress of Undertowers, the Adamanta Chubb Librarian, @Saranna, cordially invites you to visit Elostirion, the tallest and most westerly of the three Elf-towers of Undertowers, in order for you to perform the pinkie-shake and broiges formula with Chrysophylax Dives.

Should you accept this invitation, perform the pinkie shake and broiges formula, any feud between you and said Chrysophylax Dives will pass into the past, with only peace between the two of you, now and forever.

In order to gain access to the tower please turn up at The Adamanta Chubb Librarian thread at a time of your convenience and surrender all weapons to the security-hourn on the ground.*

* If this condition is a problem please negotiate with the dragon by letter and arrive at a mutual compromise before turning up at the tower.

On behalf of the Librarian, her obedient and trusted library minion, letter signed and delivered by:
Chrys. Dives

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear Giqhohqha,

I shall deliver the heads of three postal workers for the next tip, and this will be soon. But the letter I would write should not be read in the Shire! I am looking about me even now as I read your letter, at these innocent Hobbit heads bobbing around me - where they to know what words I hold in my hand! Our settlement of Undertowers would be burned to the ground! Our Librarian cast out as a witch! So I will just say for now that I have been hanging around the Mordor post office waiting for a reply and never thought to check up on the post office in the Shire (as usually nobody writes me letters). In other words, my tardy reply is not my fault but the fault of the others, and it is them and not me who should incur your displeasure.

Also, I have a plan for a substantial donation to the future Minas Morgul Library, which may require an agent of Mordor in Undertowers. May I recommend Fairbairn's Open House, which provides room and board and is conveniently situated at the bottom of the hill on which stands Elostirion?

Yours sincerely,
Doctor Dives

@The Good Hunter

[Chrysophylax Dives]

I want to announce to those who could not find the threads in the kingdoms the post offices.

Kingdom Post Offices:
Eriador Mail Service RP (Imladris)
The Dwarven Express (Khazad-dûm)
Minas Tirith's Mail ~ The Roquen Express Revived (Gondor)
Riddermark Ærendgewrit—Rohirric Mail (Rohan)
Post Office of the Four Farthings (The Shire)
The Old Mailing Tree (Fangorn)
The Mordor Post Office (Mordor)

Dear @Arnyn and @Pele Alarion, I hope the weather is nice. I write to the two of you because I believe that the Dwarf is pointing the way forward to a solution to our post-office problems.

@Chrysophylax Dives As the thread-runner is no longer on the plaza, I shall assume the role of threadrunner and declare that the Westmarch is included in this thread's postal service.

Having looked around it seems that most of these are run by no-longer-active members and as such are ripe for admin overlordship. So if Rivvy took over, in addition to the Shire, also Gondor, Rohan, Khazad-dûm, and Imladris he could then nationalize the system, that is, establish a central plaza post-office distribution system. So it would be Rivvy rather than Arnyn doing the long hours of drudge work - but I am OK with that. Any letters to and from Mordor would require Rivvy negotiating with the Goblins, which one may deem a drawback or an added bonus, depending upon one's point of view.

No rush on a reply. I am aware that the postal question is low down on the list of priorities.

PS. It appears that the sleeping-Dwarves have set out a new set of postage stamps. So Mordor, Khazad-dûm, and the Shire are all operational. That would mean Rivvy has to do less drudge work but negotiate with the Dwarves as well as the Goblins.

PPS. We now have a Lore post office. So Rivvy would have to negotiate with me as well as the Dwarves and Goblins. I can see him putting up resistance to the idea.

[Arnyn]

Dear Arnyn,
Thank you for your kind email. I have read it through twice and do not understand it. Here is the thing: a while back I sent a letter to Mordor and have been checking the Mordor post office ever since for a reply! Now I turn up at the Shire post office I discover the letter from Mordor has been delivered here - but I never noticed, so did not respond, and may now have incurred the displeasure of the Black Star and Sand Spa. Please know that I do not actually blame the thee of you for this situation, and in light of my other missions at the post office today have no intention of raising this as an official matter. Nevertheless in my negotiations with the Goblins I am going to make out that the whole mess was your fault. I hope this is satisfactory.
Yours sincerely,
Chrys Dives

To Chrys Dives

I received your letter, yet I am afraid I do not understand most of it. What is an email? Whyever would you send a letter to Mordor, of all places? Has someone you know settled there since the fall of the Enemy? If so, I must commend their coourage. Unfortunately, there is much evil left there, even years after the Dark Lord's defeat. Why would you look for a reply in the Mordor Post Office to your letter, assuming that you live in the Shire, based off the stamp on the letter you have sent me? What is the Black Star and Sand Spa? Why would I even be partially or remotely involved in this situation?

I am no more than a citizen and ranger of Gondor. I am not aware of the matters you speak of. I must conclude that there has been some sort of mishap, and you are trying to reach a different Arnyn?

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours, however.

Respectfully,

Arnyn Dealedwen

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear Arnyn Dealedwen,
How very embarassing. My apologies!
And to think that I made such a mishap on the day that I became the post-mistress of the new Lore Post Office. I had better watch my Ps and Qs.
You obedient servant,
Chrys. Dives LPM

[Arnyn]

Dear @Arnyn,

The Mistress of Undertowers, the Adamanta Chubb Librarian, @Saranna, cordially invites you to visit Elostirion, the tallest and most westerly of the three Elf-towers of Undertowers, in order for you to perform the pinkie-shake and broiges formula with Chrysophylax Dives.

Should you accept this invitation, perform the pinkie shake and broiges formula, any feud between you and said Chrysophylax Dives will pass into the past, with only peace between the two of you, now and forever.

In order to gain access to the tower please turn up at The Adamanta Chubb Librarian thread at a time of your convenience and surrender all weapons to the security-hourn on the ground.*

* If this condition is a problem please negotiate with the dragon by letter and arrive at a mutual compromise before turning up at the tower.

On behalf of the Librarian, her obedient and trusted library minion, letter signed and delivered by:
Chrys. Dives

Dear @Chrysophylax Dives

I am honoured to receive such an illustrous invitation.

While I understand the requirement to hand over any and all weaponry, it would fall heavily on me to trust my longsword with strangers. Yet I could leave it in a safe place before I wander over to Elostirion, and then surrender any other wooden or steel weaponry I might carry.

Thus, I accept the proposed condition. Provided I am assured that I will be able to return to my home unscathed, by dragon, huorn or any other being that falls under your and @Saranna 's dominion.

Respectfully,
Arnyn

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Arnyn,

Thank you on the conditional acceptance of our Undertowers no-weapons policy. Your condition, however, jeapordizes a delicate negotiation. Are you suggesting that Saranna, THE LIBRARIAN, would scathe you on your journey home? Preposterous! The very idea dishonours the title of Adamanta Chubb Librarian.

Or are you suggesting that I, Chrysophylax Dives, having performed the pinkie-shake and broigus formula, and so vowed only peace with you forever, would scathe you on your way home? But if that seems to you possible then evidently you deem my given word worthless. My dear Ranger, duels have been fought for less.

Yet what I suspect, o intrepid Ranger, is that you are impugning my huorn-handling skills. It is true that in the past there was a mishap with Tree, a friend of mine, but my own linguistic skills have come a long way since then and, if you were paying close attention to my stories, you will have observed that the two huorns who together work the security system of Elostirion were selected because their proper names take only singular verbal agreement, hence substantially decreasing the chances of out-of-control-huorn attack.

Given our current state of feud, I am liable to take offence at any impugnation of my honour. However, I do concede that on the rogue huorn front you do have some legitimate grounds for concern. And the fact of the matter is that we at Undertowers cannot give 100 per cent assurances about all the huorns.

Maybe you could bring some NPC Ents to keep an eye on our huorns? A sort of escort to and from our tower? What do you say?

Yours very respectfully,
Chrys. Dives

[Arnyn]

Dear @Chrysophylax Dives

I have no knowledge of what other dragons or being you or the lady librarian might harbour within or around the tower of Elostirion - and given that we are currently still 'feuding' (as per your words, which I myself do not seek to appropriate, yet must do so in order not to misunderstand one another when it can just as easily be avoided) until we have in fact performed the pinky-shake with the proposed formula, I believe I have no guarantees on your part until the moment our feud has ended.

Unless, of course, you also vow not to harm me before we perform said ritual - which might make the ritual itself otiose. Since that would present us with a bit of a conundrum, I assumed it was only prudent to ask for safe passage, both until the proposed ritual has been performed, as well as in the case the ritual itself might be impeded by some act of misfortune.

Might you, in your dragonesque wisdom, be able to summon some understanding for the predicament that prompted this condition of mine in my previous letter?

I do not seek the escort of Ents, given I will be allowed to carry my weapons as far as the door to the tower. I only ask for your agreement to my condition, in the same way I have agreed to yours.

Respectfully,
Arnyn

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear @Arnyn,

I can certainly assure you that neither myself nor the Librarian will assault you. Nor will any NPC huorns that remain under our control. It is just I cannot make promises beyond that.

I do understand your predicament. Having indirectly destroyed our staircase on your last visit we do hope that you understand ours. However, as this is a matter of trust I propose that I descend from Elostirion and take the long road east to Bree and share one of your delicious breakfasts at the Prancing Pony. We can perform the pinkie-shake there, though then we have to agree on the weapons policy at the inn, and also who will watch over the pinkie-shake (it is a long way for the Librarian to walk, but possibly she would accompany me).

We can still do Elostirion, only you are going to have to brave up to the huorns.

Your obedient servant, as ever,
Chrys. Dives PLM

[Arnyn]

Dear @Chrysophylax Dives

How, might I ask, did I indirectly destroy your staircase? I did not think I possessed such power?

Your level of agreement is acceptable. You may expect me at Elostirion in a few days' time.

Until then,

Respectfully,
Arnyn

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear Ranger @Arnyn,

Wonderful news! I will inform the Librarian.

On your question. We do not know how you indirectly destroyed our staircase. We do know that an army of Ents could not have harmed our external Elvish stairs, and we also know that you are not aware that you possess a power more vast and dangerous than an army of Ents. That is why we at the Elostirion Library are especially eager to perform the pinkie-shake with you and declare peace between us forever.

Yours sincerely,
Chrys. Dives PLM

[Periantar]

*Periantar sidles up to the main desk, fishing around in his pocketses for a few coins.*
"Dah, now where did I put those coins in my pockets?
"Excuse me good sir, I have hear a letter, but am unsure of the address. I do wonder if I could pay a little to have this reproduced in qruadriplicate, and taken by pony to what ever post offices and message boards you feel appropriate?"
*Slapping a few decent coins down on the counter, Peri continues...*
"I'm not too sure how much it might cost, but if this doesn't cover it, I could perhaps throw in a nice sack of fine, malty Longbottom Leaf that I have at home..."

Dear Sgt P Proudfoot (NPC)

It was twenty-odd years ago today, you told the band to play. Since then I've been going in and out of the Shire. Of course, every time I find myself back here, it is guaranteed to raise a smile on my round-as-a-hobbit-hole face. I've since found, that there is little better, than to sit back under the Hobbiton Mallorn Tree, enjoy a show, and simply let the evening go!
Of course, as always, it's wonderful to be here, and is most certainly a thrill.
Anyhow, I was actually writing to see if you had met, or seen around the Shire, a Master Billy Shears? If he were hear right now, I'd happily introduce him to you and I'm sure we'd all wind up having a lovely old singalong.

If you do see him 'round, please direct him my way.

Your friend,
Periantar.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Right you are, sir. Just as you say, that does not quite cover it, if you catch my meaning, sir. But knowing you as a gentle-Hobbit, I'll assume the sack of malty Longbottom Leaf will be along shortly, and meanwhile pass this on to the helpful folk who run the Lore Post Office.

And if I may say so, sir, a most excellent choice!

[Periantar]

*Periantar points to a sack of fine pipeweed which has rather unexpectedly appeared behind the main serving desk since his previous visit to the post office and winks.*
*A look of of Awe and shock now spreads across his face as he realises a very cool song is being played in a distant post office of some description.*

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Very fine pipeweed indeed! Thank you very much, sir. I do hope the Lore minions gave satisfaction. Not always a friendly bunch. But it is worth keeping them sweet because they have their hands on the singular plaza palantír, which can see out of the kingdoms of Middle-earth and even into Administration and beyond. So they can play OOC tunes requested IC.

[Eldrith]

Istriel

She had sent the note per the attention of the postmaster. A new life deserved new friends, even though she was not yet certain how her life in the big city would take shape. Considering her aunt's 'worries' about 'everything' she had decided to find friends as well far away that would be able to give her advise for a good and simple life. Surprisingly.. THAT her aunt had considered a most excellent idea, and she'd even suggested to find some good, decent, hobbit folk to write to, if it wasn't just her friends at home. Hobbits might be mysterious and unknown but they had a reputation of being steady folk who lived a stable life without getting into any trouble. So the note had been sent to the postmaster with the request to pin the included missive up for any to see.

Pen pals wanted! Interested parties can write to Istriel, p/a Wayfarerer Inn, Gondor.

Young woman seeks correspondence to learn more about the ways of tending house and garden, and share experiences as she moves into the city of Minas Tirith on her own.

Underneath was a little more detail.

I am 20 years of age and am moving into the White City from the surrounding area. Everything around me is new and exciting and scary. I am looking for employment here and the evenings are long as I do not know anyone. I am hoping to find someone to write to and letters to look forward to as I start this new adventure.

Please write (that part seemed to have dried in the paper without blotting as if she had hesitated afterwards and one could see a little scrape next to that last e, as if she had taken a knife to scrape of the ink, and then decided to leave it.)

Istriel.
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=474

[Eldrith]

Istriel

Dear Petunia,

you can not imagine how happy your letter made me. I just moved into Minas Tirith and it is, as you say, vibrant, but also large. And steep. I am strong. I worked the fields with my family until very recently, but I will admit the climbs from circle to circle are steep and something to get used to!
But let me start at the beginning: I am was raised in a village to the south east of the City by my aunt and uncle and they are wonderful people. It’s a small place not to far from the Erui, mostly farmland. My mother lived in the city but she died a few years ago. She used to come to visit now and again. I kind of miss her, or perhaps I feel like I should miss her, but my aunt Zenna and uncle Mathorn are wonderful. Through them I have 2 brothers and three sisters. Well they are my cousins of course but they feel like my brothers and sisters. And isn't that what counts? Their names are Linwood, my oldest brother who is a farmer, then my sister Mynneth who married another farmer, then Alwyn who is a woodworker, Alina who also married a farmer and Anissa who married the miller. Alina is the one who can do the prettiest stitches, and she worked for a while as a seamstress but work on the farm doesn’t allow for too much time for it.

We have visited Minas Tirtih of course, for the big fairs or markets a few times a year. My aunt kept hoping I would find someone to marry and settle down at home. But I never did. And I always felt.. Restless. She worried about that. So while she is supportive of my moving here and finding a new start and a respectable job, she hopes I also make good and sensible friends. I met two girls on my first day. Their names are Eryneth, who goes by Erin and Wisteria. That’s a flower name, just like you and your sisters!

I will close here and tell you of more of my adventures soon. Please write again. Your letter almost felt like it came from home, and yet so far away, it makes it an adventure as well.

with great excitement,
Istriel!

@Eamila Bolger

[Eldrith]

Petunia Hornblower
p/a Post office of the Four Farthings
Shire

Dear Petunia

Oh I am so glad you wrote back. I was hoping you weren't too disappointed to not find a daring adventuress. I will be honest I tried moving to Minas Tirith before but I got too scared and then I ran back home. My aunt was very happy to see me again but the restlessness did not go away. Perhaps for n ow we will the heroic adventures to my letters, even if it is merely biting a postmaster. I can assure you it's more blood than I have drawn ever since I was a toddler

Daydreaming are the saftest adventures though, aren't they? At least you are not running around doing dangerous things yourself if you leave it to our letters to have the adventures. I do miss my mother, but I will admit, my aunt raised me, I believe.. she has been more of a mother to me. And I am an aunt three times already. But I didn't want to overwhelm you in my letter with even more names. I will admit, it made leaving for the city harder. How much will my nephews and my niece have grown by the time I see them next?

Minas Tirith is.. impressive. Every day still I walk around and see something new. I think I could live here for years and still find new things to discover. There are statues and buildings that have such history. Even though the signs of war are still very visible. people are rebuilding. I have never visited Bree or heard of it. Can you tell me one of the stories you heard? WHy would you not like to visit?

Your story of the harvest made me a bit homesick. And yet they also brought home closer here, so that was a nice surprise. My sister.. cousin.. writes to me for the whole family and everyone puts in a little bit of information. About the children, their harvest or old mrs. Buckle. I can almost smell the apples in your letter and now I am going to have to go to market and get one. I have not found employment yet, though I hope so soon. I hardly dare to write, but my new friends inspired me to look into maybe becoming a Healer or a Ranger. I haven't told my aunt yet. I think she could understand healer and might be very proud, but Ranger would worry her. Still Erin's father is a ranger and he sounds like a wonderful, caring father, so that is a good thing. I will see what this meeting will bring and let you know.

I do consider Eryn and Wist friends now, and I hope to tell you more of their adventures soon.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Lots of love,

Istriel

[Eldrith]

Istriel

Petunia Hornblower
p/a Post office of the Four Farthings
Shire

Dear Petunia,

So much has happened since your last letter. Though I am afraid I may disappoint you. I have been offered a chance to try and become a Ranger and decided to take it. That is.. there is a week or so of trial. This is not usually a thing, but Master Healer and Captain Pele has offered an exception, a chance for me to observe and practice in the mornings with them. I think this is another thing that I have my friend Eryn to thank for. After that, I must decide whether or not to give an oath and then I would start training. I can promise you that I have not forgotten about being a healer. All rangers must learn some first aid on the battlefield and if I want to, and have the time of course, after training, I could start learning a bit more.

I feel like I am standing in two places at the same time, without being certain in which one I belong. When you describe fall in the Shire and the harvest being brought in, I feel as if I am longing for my village. My sister.. I am just going to write about her as a sister, even though you know she technically is a cousin, has written me all about their harvest though it seems those year carrots did poorly but the first winter cabbages are doing well. I wonder about the pottery you describe! Maybe after I start as a Ranger, if I get paid, I can send some money and you can send me something very small, mostly because I do not know yet if it will survive the journey. It would be interesting to travel along the mail one day and see who hands off each package and letter to whom, and where they all transfer the horses. My Aunt would say that that's just dreaming and home is the best place. I think you would agree with her!
Bree sounds... full.. It's strange but while there are so many people in Minas Tirith it never really FEELS so cramped. Maybe it's because of the different levels the city has. Some are more crowded than others though. Especially the market place. But even there I admit, I do not walk into people's butts, though there are many who are taller than I am. But there are so many things here, brought in from the villages around or brought in from afar, food, and fabric and... everything. Every day feels a bit like an adventure. And I think that is why I have come. I want an.. adventure. I want to do something that is different from what I know.

I am not certain if I will be any good at it at all. So think of me, as I try to learn everything. I keep telling myself: I am strong, I am hard working, and I have never been called dumb. I should be able to learn anything I set my heart on, right?

Lots of love,
Istriel

@Eamila Bolger