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Guidelines

1. Please post here as though your character is writing in their own private diary. In-Character (IC) posts only.
2. Diary entries may be written in the setting of any place, or year that exists within Umbar and its immediate vicinity.
3. What secrets be written here may not be referred to as though common knowledge in other threads, unless your character has a reasonable cause to be aware of the information IC.

With full credit to Ercassie, since I shamelessly stole her OP from the Gondorian Diaries thread with only very minor alterations. And, full credit also to Elene Sila for the original conception Diaries of Gondor conception thread.

I don't know if it is the swaying upon the water or the anticipation of what awaits once we arrive on land. But this ship has not been my favorite place to be.

The thrill of sailing upon the sea distracted me for a day or two, but it soon faded once I started believing the ship would hold just fine. The truth is I cannot afford to think too much of what lies ahead. There are too many ways all of this could go wrong.

It is easier to pretend that all of those ways aren't even a factor. It is easier to focus on the fact I am still by Ava's side, now. It is easier to focus on the fact that, this time, I won't be sidelined. It's easier to focus on the excitement of new experiences and new sights, and more time with the woman I couldn't just... let go.

Not much has happened as of yet. We all said our goodbyes to Arnyn, although they were surprisingly brief? The following half-sentence was very meticulously scratched out.
Gwestion asked for a tour of the ship, and Ava showed the three of us the whole thing. To know where everything was, she said. Gladhron and Gwestion shared a cabin, and I joined Ava in hers.

I've taken to distracting myself from all that awaits by spending time mostly with Ava and Gladhron. I've noticed Gladhron being friendly with the crew, while Gwestion is keeping mostly to himself. No surprises there, I suppose.
Ava must have picked up on my discomfort and need for distractions, because we haven't discussed what lies ahead at all. And even though I have no inclination to ask questions right now, it seems that neither do Gladhron and Gwestion. At least, not when I'm present. Perhaps Gwestion and Ava have been talking the few times they've played chess together. I don't know.

And now the three of them have gone ashore. On Umbarian lands. And I have been left here to wait. Like a clueless child that is to be protected.

And even if they're mostly right about that, it still doesn't feel great. I knew this was coming and I knew I'd have to stay here until they determined it was safe enough for me to follow. But I'm not gonna lie. It still sucks.

Ava shared some more details about 'the plan' right before they left. It's a few miles between this spot and her estate. To my understanding, Ava plans to go in and talk to Ashar without others seeing her, and she trusts him to tell her whether it's safe to make herself known. And then she'll talk to some gossips to get a sense of the temperature in the city. Once she deems it's all good, then she'll send some 'servants' to come and get me off the ship. And if it's bad, then Gladhron, Gwestion and Ava will come back themselves. That's the plan.

I'm bored out of my mind now that they're gone. The crew has been polite and everything, and I've played some games with them, with Gladhron, but I'm not in the mood for games right now, and honestly everyone seems a little tense - though that could just be me projecting or something.

I just hope all is good and I get to join Ava soon.

They came back for me. All three of them. I must admit it stroked my ego that Ava didn't send back servants, as she'd claimed she would if all was well, before leaving the ship. She came back for me herself, along with the brothers, even though everything seemed alright at her estate.

Apparently Gladh and Gwestion met some of Ava's guards including their leader - sorry, 'chief of security" - and some of her servants. It must have been rather boring and very tiring, judging from the way Gladhron was behaving. They were probably all tired, though - Ava, Gwestion and Gladhron didn't get any sleep whatsoever during the night, and it was showing. Luckily Gwestion remembered we had to send a message back home.

I haven't seen much of the estate yet, since we arrived in darkness. But it made me think more of a city than it made me think of a house. She has a house that has a wall. And a gate. And guards. All for a house. I just watched it with my own eyes and it's still hard to believe that these things actually exist. As if she's the king of Gondor, with a circle all her own.

Ava showed Gladhron and Gwestion to their rooms and told them they could ask her staff for anything they liked. Then Ava showed me to a room all of my own, further down the hall. It's... huge. I'm sitting in it right now and I still cannot believe how big it is. I mean. There's rich and then there's whatever this is. I don't feel like the word 'rich' even covers it, really. I have never seen a bedroom this big, and this is a guest room. If mine is like this, then how large is Ava's? It might be the size of a tavern common room! And surely a lot more expensively decorated.

Ava also showed me a hiding place. She definitely was not kidding when she told me about those, before. She was very serious about it, too, and I'm not sure I like it, even if it is a good thing she cares about my safety.

The thing is - when Ava is this serious, then, apparently, I get serious too. I've decided it's annoying. I don't like it. Because, for example, she said she had several hiding places installed. But now I cannot help but wonder - who installed them? Where are they now? I can't see Ava locking up any of the staff. So they'd be able to roam the city, right? Might they have been talking to anyone? How safe does that really make these spaces? It feels like I'm in my sister's head, and if that really is what it feels like then I don't find it an enjoyable place to be.

Once Ava left, Gwestion surprised me with a visit. I mean - it shouldn't have been a surprise, and in a way it wasn't, after what we were told by Arnyn. To make sure our rooms were checked before splitting up and everything. But it also was, because the brothers hadn't seemed to mind Ava taking me away from them before, so part of me already kind of assumed they were going to focus more on each other or something?

Anyway, Gwestion was there to check my room. Just him. He mentioned he and Gladhron had taken some time to search their own rooms as well, although Gladhron wouldn't have bothered if it hadn't been for Gwestion's insistence, and that each of their rooms was large as well - only a little smaller than the one I've ended up in. He mentioned something about other rooms in the house being different sizes, but how they hadn't seen everything yet.

It was kind of amusing how Gwestion was trying to make sure I didn't take him coming to search my room for threats as a slight toward Ava. He even tried to crack a joke! I proceeded to surprise him, I think, with the fact that I read, and that I didn't come to Umbar without reading up on the place at least a little.

But then a little critter surprised the both of us. Gwestion used one of my books and his boot to kill a scorpion on my bed (!). I should say it made searching my room a bit more exciting, but I could have honestly done without it. I'll ask Ava about plants and spices that might keep those away from my room. And the brothers' rooms, as well, of course.

Not that any of it is foolproof. Gwestion just left - and he told me to be careful. The umpteenth reminder that I need to watch my back. Arnyn's worried. Ava's worried. Gwestion's worried. I'm not dumb, okay. I get that Umbar is dangerous. But what more can I do than check my room and lock my door, right? I can't magically keep anyone or anything from entering. I've read that arachnids, including scorpions, can wedge themselves under a door crack. Actually - I found an extra sheet and stuffed it under the door as best I could. But who's to say nothing can get in some other way? I figure, if fate wants me dead for coming here, that's it for me. Regardless of what I do or not.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep up with this meticulous note-taking, every day. I'll try. But I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Tomorrow I expect to see more of this place.