Endor's Greatest Dog Show!

[Zôrzimril]

　　　　　 　　　　　


”Where did you say we were again?”
“What do you mean? We’re where we always are, of course! Middle-earth, Ennor, Endor.”
“Are you sure? Something feels stran--aaah! What’s that!?”
“What’s what?”
“There’s something in the trees! Like a giant teddy bear! With a stick!”




Welcome one and all to the Plaza's first annual Dog Show!

You wander into a clearing in the woods and see that a wide ring, fenced with fresh-hewn logs, has been prepared for an event; a set of stands for spectators rises above the forest floor. It is unclear how everything was set up, as the only beings in sight when you arrive are two great canines standing sentinel, tongues lolling happily. One, a wolf-hound, goes by the name of Yávië. The other, a true wolf tamed by his fierce hunger and a friendly ranger, remains unnamed.

After spending quite some time traipsing about the free lands of Endor, Yávië (@Aerlinn) and The Unnamed Wolf (@Zôrzimril) have decided to invite all their canine friends (and any of their friends) to a contest to see who will be Endor's Greatest Dog!

The contest will comprise of four rounds:

Round One: Costume Contest
Round Two: Obstacle Course
Round Three: Disc Toss
Round Four: Canine Freestyle

To enter the contest, RP approaching either of the two canines as an animal of your choice. Introduce yourself and any two-legged companions. You may, of course, interact with other participants throughout the sign-up period. Sign-ups will last one week, and then the prompt for Round One will be provided!


Rules:
RP as a canine, or another creature convincingly disguised as a canine.
Spectators are welcome!
Handlers for canines--your regular Plaza character, your Halloween icon, Darth Vader, whoever you want!--are welcome to attend (but RP must be from an animal POV).
#BF4000 is reserved for GM updates and prompts
General plaza rules apply

[Menolly]

Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins approached the two rather large dog-like creatures with the air of confidence that comes naturally to all felines. To be fair, Cutiepants was an especially impressive specimen, larger than most cats and easy to confuse with a medium sized dog. It helped that his ears were tattered and fleabitten, and his coat was patchy and uneven and composed of many colors, and his tail had clearly been broken once or twice or maybe thrice. His human, an ancient specimen almost as bedraggled as he was, was known for her unusual call, deployed almost exclusively at royalty. He called her BooBoo in his head and was certain others would call her that too, if only she had any human friends.

Instead BooBoo had scooped a young Cutiepants out of the gutter, fed him up until his ribs were no longer showing, and bestowed him with a name that spoke volumes of her need to love another creature, any other creature. Cutiepants took all of that love as only a cat can, and let it transform him into a creature who believed, no, who knew that he could accomplish anything.

With this in mind, he spoke to Yavie and the unnamed wolf with all his feline dignity. "Good day. I am submitting myself for entrance into this competition, which I will invariably win. My human over there," he gestured with a jerk of his head to BooBoo, "will be only too ready to boo the competition should they attempt to overshadow my glory. My name is Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins. You may address me as Cutiepants." Too late he realized he was meant to be a dog, the cursed stupid creatures. "Um...woof," he added as convincingly as he could manage.

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos, a hound

He was large. Every pack that he had run with always elected him as their leader based solely on his size. He was of spitz and wolfhound background, larger than either and much more energetic. His face was white while the rest of his thick, shaggy coat was a mixture of ash grey and steel grey. His eyes were a bright icy blue, something that made him very popular with the humans he encountered on his many travels. Tindalos did not understand why some of his canine brethren preferred the company of humans and elves but he did not begrudge them their choices. In truth he often wondered what it would be like to have a two-legged companion. When he was out in the cold north, under a bright cloudless sky twinkling with hundreds and hundreds of stars, he thought about what his life would be like if he had a friend, a human pup to share it with.

He approached the two canines, smelling that one of them was actually a wolf. He tensed for a moment. He had never had trouble with wolves, there had been several in the packs he ran, but an unknown wolf in the wild was a wild card. The wolfhound at his side though, seemed at ease so Tindalos continued his approach. There had been rumor of a competition even as far north as the mixed breed hound liked to roam. Naturally he had to investigate.

His nose went crazy with a hundred new and interesting smells. The spitz part of him wanted to go explore and dig at everything single one, but the hound half of his nature told him to stay calm, cool, and collected. If it was a competition, any wrong or silly move could cost him.

He was completely unsure of what this contest would consist of, but he was confident his capacity as a canine of quality would come in handy.

[Silky Gooseness]

A Horrible Goose

waddle waddle waddle

What’s this coming your way? It’s... something, about a foot and a half off the ground, completely covered in a white bed-sheet. A Hobbit-sized bed-sheet, to be sure. There’s a protuberance at one end - guess that could be a rather long neck, and maybe a snout? The sheet isn’t particularly clean. You can hear the shuffle and slap of flat feet as the creature swans... or gooses... up to the ring. The bedsheet flutters - some limbs are moving under there. Definitely not wings though, because dogs don’t have wings.

HONK, it, uh, barks.

[Giliathriel]

Cronch, an Akk Dog

Leap. Bound. Play. Play? Play! No. Bite! No bite? Cronch sad. His handler, Mara Jade, readjusted the costume disguising the akk dog as a regular, boring variety of dog. Scales itch. Hungry. Food? Food? Food? Food? Food? His master leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Be a good boy, ok now Cronch? Let's go meet the sentinels."

Cronch smell...dogs. Two dogs. Two BIG dogs. Cronch friends now! "My name Cronch!" He barked at them. "Calm down, Cronch!" Mara told him, putting a gentle hand on his back. "Hello. I'm Mara, and this is my dog Cronch. And he's going to be the best dog here, mark my words.

Best dog? Cronch best dog! Best dogs get treats!

[Aerlinn]

Yávië carefully dragged a number of cloaks, hoods, and other scraps of fabric to the edge of a small pond and spread them out on the grass. There was a long orange and black striped robe, a sumptuous black mane, a rather grody looking get-up that had the appearance of a giant rat, and a shaggy brown number that looked as if it would fit a seven and a half foot giant. They all showed promise, but the wolfhound's eyes kept returning to a small, glowing pumpkin and the attached white sheet--simple but festive, cliche, but charming.

He stuck his nose under the sheet and wriggled and shimmied in the muddy grass until it covered him in its entirety. Ta-da! He struck and pose and peered at his reflection in the pond. The sheet swished nicely and the long, sewn-in ears flopped about. "Wa-roof! Not too shabby, if I say so myself!" he rumbled with a pleased bark.

Satisfied with his costume, Yávië trotted into place next to his wolf friend. He made sure to stand facing into the wind, so that his sheet billowed slightly around him. "Oh, grand! Look Wolfie, my top pal, they're already coming!" he yipped excitedly as participants began to make their way across the clearing. "Will we have time after sign-ups for snacks, do you think? I'm absolutely famished! I had this lovely dream last night about a roast goose..."

He cut off as a rather shabby looking critter introduced itself as Cutiepants Cuddlebuns Von (@Menolly) ...whatsitwhat? Or was it Cutiekins Fluffybuns VonCuddle...oh no matter. He puffed himself up importantly and looked down at the odd dog. "Welcome, small one, to Endor's Greatest Dog Show, and greetings to your human as well. I'm sure you will find this competition worthy of your," he couldn't resist a dubious cock of his head, "innumerable talents."

The next to approach, Tindalos (@Anathema of Light) was rather more along the lines of what Yávië had expected. He was huge and striking, and though he would never admit it aloud, Yávië wouldn't have wanted to face him in a fight. He gave him a few respectful sniffs and wagged his tail in approval. "Greetings, friend. You can take a sniff around the arena, if you'd like."

Things got a little strange after that.

[Zôrzimril]

Unnamed Wolf, Apparently Going by Wolfie Now

The large grey wolf gazed at Yávië through solemn amber eyes. “What is this business with disguises?” he ruffed. “Surely, all the dogs will know who we are thanks to our scent.”

He tilted his head skeptically when the wolfhound padded over happily, draped in a sheet. “Hmmmm,” the wolf rumbled. It was almost a growl. “Must I wear one of these? We do not wear clothes in the wild,” he explained. But Yávië looked at him imploringly and was practically quivering with excitement about dressing up, so the wolf nosed his snout through the black mane, then lifted a front paw to adjust his new ruff. It encircled his face, his ears poking up behind the large amounts of black fluff.

More dogs(?) had now appeared to vie for the title of Endor’s Greatest Dog. While much that the wolfhound said and did was foreign to the wolf, besting one’s foes in feats of strength to claim dominance was ever-so-wolfish. Wolfie approved of this competition.

He stalked over to the newcomers, sniffing them in greeting. A smallish one, also wearing a sheet, (@HONK HONK) honked loudly. The wolf took a surprised step back and leaned forward to sniff at it more suspiciously. “Friend, or foe, or food?” he mused. “Probably food.” If this one lost, the wolf would insist on eating it. It smelled delicious.

“Hello,” he yapped when Cronch (@Sparky Boy) introduced himself. This one looked doggish and smelled considerably less delicious than the honking one. Hmm. He merely gave the lady accompanying this creature a disdainful look. He might trust her later if she was able to produce the treats that Cronch was going on and on about.

The wolf turned to face the small crowd. “Welcome,” he howled. “We will begin soon. Make yourselves ready. Only one of you can be top dog.”

OOC Update: Sign-ups will close in a little over 48 hours! Tell your friends and their friends and their friends' friends!

[Hoglorfen]

Lûlmashnikh (the warg)

The sound of heavy paws accompanied by those of breaking twigs and terrified birds approaches rapidly. Out of the bushes leaps a full-sized mottled brown warg with an unkempt coat. It almost clears the log but somehow stumbles in the air and lands snout first, skidding to a halt in the middle of the clearing. After it runs a small Orc, cursing and sweating as he clearly had to run for quite a while to catch up.
"I told ya to wait until I'd climbed on, ya mangy bea-" the Orc begins, but freezes mid sentence as he notices that they're not alone. The warg get up and shakes the dust off, but it doesn't seem to do much in the way of improving its disheveled appearance.
"Brosh! Gûr kasnogat lat gorat... Nar, wait..." It clears its throat. "Darn Westron... Hi! Heard there was, err, com-pet-ition? For Biggest Dog-thing? Am I late? Also I smelled chicken." It leers and wags its tail in an attempt to appear friendly, immediately knocking the Orc over.

[Moriel]

A very, very large dog entered the clearing. Very tall and lumbering when moving slow, far taller than it should have been long if it were a proportionate dog, which it was not. It was not, in fact, a dog, but a skeksis in clever disguise. The Chamberlain's crimson robes had been covered in a layer of shaggy greyish brown fur, and his face with the convincingly stuffed head of an extremely large wolf that had been unfortunate enough to cross his path on the way to this event. He was a long way from Thra, but skekSil had not lost his ability to communicate with a wide variety of creatures, and was confident of convincing these dogs he belonged among them. "mmmMMMM WOOF! WOOF!" The Chamberlain barked, prancing over to where The wolf stood before a gathering of canines, nearly bashing into a warg, the only one that approached him in size. His beady eyes peering out from the holes that had previously been occupied by the extremely large wolf's, he spoke to the canines in their language. "Am skekSil! Here to win and be top-dog, mmmMMMMmmmm."

[Zôrzimril]

Unnamed Wolf

“Hmmmmm,” grumbled the wolf. Something remarkably unsubtle was coming their way. With a great stomping and crashing, a huge warg (Lûlmashnikh) broke into the clearing. Alarmed, hackles raised, the wolf took a step forward with a growl.

A small being followed it into the clearing. An orc! The wolf had seen quite a few of these and had killed a fair few in his time. He showed his teeth. But it seemed they had arrived, at least according to the warg, to compete. (And apparently wargish was mutually intelligible with wolfish and doggish, which was quite convenient.) He relaxed and sat down, glancing at Yávië. The wolfhound spent his time with the elves. What would he make of such contestants?

Before the wolf could welcome these two, another competitor entered the clearing. This one kind of had a wolfish face, and there was a wolfish smell about it. The wolf tilted his head. Something was weird. He smelled the blood of a wolf. He walked over to the extremely tall “wolf” and sniffed curiously. “My, but you are tall,” was all he could think to say.

“Welcome, then,” he went on, now addressing both the warg and skekSil. “Though be warned...this contest is not simply about size. And there may or may not be bird to eat later.” He shot a quick glance at the small creature draped in a sheet.

With a loud howl, he called the assembled creatures to attention to announce their first task.

Round One: Costume Contest

Your task: Using the assortment of objects provided plus anything you can reasonably scavenge from whichever version of Endor you please, create a costume and RP presenting it to the judges. Scoring will be out of 10 points, evenly weighted between costume (including creative use of materials) and RP presentation.

Provided Materials
Cornstalks
An assortment of decorative gourds (gathered from a nearby pumpkin patch)
Several bunches of dyed goose feathers
Wooden crates
Costume jewelry: rings, mostly, of varying sizes and set with cheap stones
An assortment of teeth from various animals

An assortment of circlets stolen respectfully borrowed from various local elf lords
Elladan and Elrohir's old toy chest filled with prop weapons
Arwen’s most prized silks
The contents of Lord Elrond’s laundry basket
Aerlinn Mordagnir’s hair supplies, including various clips and ties
Pipes, only mildly chewed up by canine teeth
Tarawen's pack, filled with bits of stale bread and other ranger necessities

Han Solo’s vest
Some gold metal plating that looks suspiciously like it fell off of a protocol droid
Rebel pilot’s helmets
Darth Vader's stash of spare capes
Cans of blue, red and yellow paint left behind by starship maintenance crews

You have 48 hours to present your costume (in one or more posts)! Good luck!
@Menolly @King Bull Sparra @HONK HONK @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen @skekSil

[Hoglorfen]

“Have you eaten bad 'shrooms again, Lûlmashnikh?!” the Orc hisses. “They're going to kill us both!”
“Oh stow it, Zaugloth,” the warg growls with a dismissive wave of its paw. “We haven't been chewed up or barked at yet! They haven't even tried to mark territory. So calm down! We have to focus on the task.”
“Alright, be it on your head...” Zaugloth grumbles. “So, any ideas?”
Lûlmashnikh looks at the various props. “How about... a dragon!”
“That's been done before. I know; Azog! The greatest Orc chieftain in-”
“Azog scratched his butt and sniffed his fingers in public, I'm NOT doing that!”
“Then... the Dark L-”
Lûlmashnikh tears off a chunk of its own fur and stuffs it into Zaugloth's mouth. “Shut up! D'you want Him to find out about this?”
Both Orc and warg turns their backs on each other and sulks for a moment. Then they look at the corn stalks and gourds.
“D'you have the same thought I do?” the Orc asks tentatively.
“Aye,” the warg grins. “It'll be glorious!”

They quickly grab a large bundle of corn stalks, a few red and black garments, two black capes, some thin branches, a toy sword, two gourds and pipes, a circlet and a can of red paint and vanish into the woods. Soon after, a lot of bickering and the tearing of cloth can be heard, then the rustling of corn stalks and the sound of paint being sprayed.
“How about this?”
“A little more to the left.”
“This itches!”
“Don't worry, you don't have to wear it for long.”

An ominous shadow moves among the trees before emerging with a roar! Great wings of corn stalks and black cape cloth spreads out as the warg walks in on two legs, carrying the Orc on its neck. The red and black garment strips that covers their bodies flutters as it moves; a pair of large horns, made of branches and tied to the circlet protrudes from its head and the Orc holds two bright yellow gourds up as giant eyes.
“I am Durin's Bane!” the warg growls and waves its front legs, onto which a toy sword and a makeshift whip has been tied. Smoke rises from the two lit pipes it wears in its ears as it struggles to keep its balance.
“Go on!” it murmurs through the corner of its mouth. “Now, while they're still looking!”
“I'm on it,” Zaugloth mutters. The sound of flint striking steel can be heard a few times, then he makes his escape as the wings burst into flame!
“I am Durin's Bane,” Lûlmashnikh says again, “the scourge of Moria! Balrog of Angband, Shadow and... Flame..."

It sniffs the air suspiciously. "Do any of you smell burning hair?”

[Aerlinn]

Yávië eyed the assorted materials with a certain pride. Certainly, no one could say they had not gone through great trouble and risk for this competition. Even now the threat of discovery loomed over them. Would Lady Arwen seek them out? The man in the black helmet who breathed funny? But for this event the wolfhound would accept whatever sacrifice necessary, if it came to that. He would walk with proud diginity towards the fiercest scolding, the harshest shout, the angriest elf maiden!

A flurry of activity startled him and he spun to face Wolfie Wolf and the newcomers. "Ah, yes, tall...welcome...round one...yes yes, costume contest...task... he echoed importantly. "Arruuuufffoofhmmm...do you see the crown? True mithril that, acquired at great personal risk...ruff ruff...woof....judging you..."

A while later
"I don't suppose anyone thought to bring a water bucket?" he woofed.

Somewhere in Imladris

Elves did not swear, but humans did, and dwarves did, and orcs most certainly did; and if Aerlinn Mordagnir had picked up a useful phrase here or there? Well, what better time to use it when than when her tangled hair was flapping in her mouth and blowing around wildly in her eyes as she stalked through the halls of Imladris. "Does no one have a hair tie?" she wailed in despair.

Suddenly, from the other direction, came the graceful steps of Arwen, the lady herself. Only they were rather less graceful than was her wont, and one who knew her well might even have named her...vexed. "Those silks were in my sitting room yesterday!" she was muttering.

They stopped just short of running into each other and stared. "What happened to you?"

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos, a hound

He thumped his tail on the ground as a means of saying “I understand” then bounded toward the pile of goodies with which to make his costume. His mind already forming an idea as he shoved things aside with his nose and paws. He knocked aside an assortment of teeth, sniffing them in an ill-conceived attempt and finding how what they had previously belong to (that was a very bad idea). Additionally, Tindalos took several corn stalks, some paint, and a sheet from the laundry basket. He sniffed this as well and regretted it more than smelling the teeth. Weren’t elves supposed to be dainty and fresh? He would have to ask the Wolf and Wolfhound when this was all over. He clearly had some misconceptions about the two-legged folk.

He surveyed his haul and woofed in approval. He would be able to make his costume of this random assortment of nonsense. He pawed at the paint, hoping it was the kind that would wash off in a tumble in the river, otherwise he was going to be a very strangely colored hound for quite some time, stranger than he already was mind you. There were a few questions of opposable thumbs and the use of tools he had as he drew up the plans in his mind’s eye but phaw, he had never needed a two-legged before, he wasn’t going to need one right now.

The wolfhound-spitz mix tested the tensile strength of the cornstalks and woofed quietly. It was a bit stiff, but it would still do. The paint, mixed together would surely be a good color, Tindalos though, like all dogs, was colorblind and thusly had no idea whether or not a mixture of the colors would evoke the terrifying shade he imagined, but it was a contest of dogs, judged by dogs (and a wolf), he’d be fine. Satisfied with his booty, the hound got to work

~~~ Sometime later ~~~

Tindalos emerged from his hidden spot in the forest dressed in his costume. The bed sheet was dipped and smeared an assortment of utterly random colors and designs but was made to look bright and terrifying. Holes were cut (by who? The world will never know) in the front and the back. The cornstalks were sewn into the bedsheet, coming out of the body of costume like octopus tentacles. Teeth of all sorts and been jammed into the cornstalks as well, forming what could have been mouths were mouths should definitely not be. The headpiece was more intricate. Cornstalks were again used, but shorn into smaller, more manageable sizes, they adorned the sides of Tindalos’ face and had dozens more fangs that ran along the cornstalk lengthwise. In his mouth was a sock (apparently wrapped up in the bedsheet he’d taken). He’d filled the sock with dirt and affixed even more teeth (teeth were good for horror) to the tongue stand-in.

Behold! A Hound of Tindalos!

[Menolly]

Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins beheld the collection of costume parts with disdain. Clearly he was above this sort of tomfoolery. He should have known better than to enter a contest for canines. On the other hand, he was clearly better than any of them and was of course destined to win. Now, what sort of creation would suit a cat as intimidating and dangerous as himself?

Of course! He gathered up some gold plates of an odd metal and dragged them over to BooBoo, making his wishes clear by laying them out on the ground and modeling what he wished to see. She grinned a toothless grin and drew a hammer from somewhere within her layers of clothing (best not to ask why she had a hammer) and set to hammering the plates into the correct shape. Meanwhile, Cutiepants wandered back over to the pile of supplies and selected some goose feathers dyed in shades of red and gold, as well as a number of large, sharp animal teeth. He affixed the teeth around his own mouth and the feathers down his back and tail, giving him a spine of spiky feathers that made him look even larger and more imposing.

BooBoo had done a lovely job shaping the gold plates to fit over his body, so he came over with a mouthful of cornstalks for her to tie the plates in place. And voila! He was an enormous golden dragon, covered in plates, ridged with spiky feathers, and bristling with a mouth of enormous, spiky teeth.

But something was still missing. Dragons breathed fire, of course, and although Cutiepants knew he was perfect in every way, he couldn't quite figure out how to breathe fire. He contemplated the supplies again and his eyes landed on the buckets of paint. Red and yellow paint looked enough like fire. He mixed the two colors in a bucket and hid it under his gold plated sides. This would be perfect.

Approaching the judges, he stood tall and imposing, the feathers rattling against the gold plating. Then, for the full effect, he growled deep in his throat and flung the bucket of red and yellow paint at Yavie and the wolf. "Roar," he added afterward, to really impress them.

[Aerlinn]

@skekSil @HONK HONK @Sparky Boy Since we didn't give any sort of warning, consider this an extension. You have 24 hours to present your costume.

[Silky Gooseness]

A horrible goose, under a sheet, pondered the task it had been given. Whilst it did so, it casually kicked over a couple of the paint cans and pecked a hole in one of the gourds, just to be a horrible goose.

Now, there was an idea...

The goose busily pecked a larger hole in the pumpkin gourd with every sign of enjoyment, although in fact the favourite food of this Horrible Goose is the misery of others, and not pumpkins. Once the opening was wide enough, it stabbed out a couple of holes in the top and in the bottom and wandered off to look at the rest of the supplies...

GOOSE FEATHERS! What an abomination! Who had dared to pluck one of his fellow winged folk, if not Goose himself? In a rage the Goose pounced on the sad little trophies. He would reclaim them for his rightful goosey, I mean, doggy, victory.

He casually stirred them into the yellow paint and contemplated the shiny gold plating that was also on offer. Mesmerised by his own beautiful reflection the goose completely lost track of time...

Hastily, just as the judging was about to begin, he stabbed the feathers violently into the pumpkin and then shouldered his own way in.

What did he represent? Why, the Sun, Arien, of course...

[Moriel]

The Chamberlain grinned toothily at the Wolf. Yes, yes, he was very tall. “mmmMMMmmm, bird,” he hummed, looking over at the small, sheet-covered competitor. But there was no time to investigate this mystery, as they were then given the instructions for their first task! A costume contest!! skekSil should have won this contest outright but of course he could not reveal to the judges that he was already in costume. He would simply have to do a costume within a costume! Along with the rest he scampered off to inspect the provided materials. There were so many, and so interesting! The Chamberlain dug through the supplies, coming first across Tarawen’s pack! So thoughtful of the judges, to have supplied snacks for the competitors. Crumbs flew as he gobbled down the stale bread and tossed the pack aside. Grabbing up armfuls of supplies, skekSil scuttled off into the bushes to assemble his costume. When he emerged, he was a sight to behold: he was wrapped and draped in many colors of Arwen’s most prized silks, their ends trailing regally(?) behind him; against his chest bumped a large section of gold plating, and several elf-lord's circlets were piled precariously one on top of the other on his head, held in place by the upstanding wolf’s ears. With him he dragged a wooden crate. Upending it, The Chamberlain hopping on top of it and struck a pose, gazing disdainfully down his nose at the other dogs. “Am dog-king, mmMMMmm!”

[Aerlinn]

Yávië attempted to paw paint from his muzzle all the while swiveling his head this way and that to stare at the spectacle before him. Durin's Bane was still smoking, though luckily the forest was *not*. The strange dog hiding under a sheet was now inside of a pumpkin--the wolfhound was making a point not to look at it too closely--and upon inspection at least one of skekSil's circlets was a First Age relic.

He woofed for attention. "My chthonic and creative canines! What a costume contest! Why, you'd never guess--" he stopped as something tickled his nose and sneezed up a glob of half-dried yellow paint. "aaaAArrroooAARWOOOOCHOOO!...you'd never guess that some of you were dogs at all. Wolfie and I would now like to--

"What did I say about calling me Wol--"

"Wolfie and I are now going to announce the scores," he barked a bit louder. "Congratulations to..."

@Hoglorfen and Lûlmashnikh - 10/10
@Menolly and Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins 9/10
@Ursus thibetanus and Tindalos 9/10
@HONK HONK and Horrible Goose 7/10
@skekSil 7/10
(Moriel, I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that I sorta thought you were Sil until I saw you both in this thread at the same time. )

[Aerlinn]

Wheeeeeeeeeeew! Someone could have warned him that hauling around boulders, digging tunnels, and chewing up trees was such hard work. Well, Yávië glanced at Wolfie, it was quite possible that someone had warned him, but perhaps they should have been a bit louder about it. He flopped down to stretch and rolled around in the dirt.

Wolfie shot him a pointed glare.

"Ahemem awooof," he came to his feet and howled for attention. "Friends, Endorians, countrydogs! Your costumes are on, your teeth are brushed, your will is keen! It's time to commence..."

Round Two: Obstacle Course
How far will you get?

The next phase of our competition is the obstacle course! Every good dog knows how to run around, after all. Here is how it will work:

1. This is a rapid-fire phase of the competition. We will be posting the obstacles on the course one at a time, a few times a day, or after at least one person has completed the task.
2. For each task you complete, you earn one point, with the potential for an extra point for hilarity quality.
3. Tasks must be completed in succession, with one task per post. If you fall behind, you can post again after an update or after another competitor has posted.
4. Because this is rapid-fire, posts do NOT have to be long. At least 200 characters, though :D
5. Please include the number of your current obstacle at the top of your post.
6. If you’re accompanied by a handler, they may attempt to come with you...or not!
7. NOTE: YOU ARE STILL IN COSTUME.

@Hoglorfen @Menolly @Tremarctos ornatus @skekSil @HONK HONK @Sparky Boy (The costume contest is closed but feel free to jump back in! We'd love to have you. )

And now...the race is on!

Obstacle #1
Pass through the hoop jump! Three hoops made of willow branches hang suspended from three trees and sway in the wind. RP passing through them all.

You have 12 hours.

[Hoglorfen]

Obstacle 1

The warg rolls around a bit in the grass to douse the last of the flames while Zaugloth waits impatiently. "We're going to be late! They already announced the second part o' the competition."
"But did we win? Did they say who won?"
"Yes, we won! There, happy?" The Orc groans while Lûlmashnikh bounces about in celebration, the wings and horns somehow still intact, if somewhat singed.
"Next task!! Tell me the next task!!" he pants happily.
Zaugloth points towards the race track. "See those hoops? We have to- hyaargh!"

With a flick of his tail and some acrobatics, Lûlmashnikh fells him and flips him onto his back, giving him another mouthful of hair in the process. "All right, lets GO-OOOWL!!"
"Wait," comes the muffled protest while Zaugloth clings on for dear life. "We can't make it like thi-iiiis!!"
The warg does not listen. He bounds towards the first hoop, quickly reaching top warg speed, but gets stuck in it because of the wings still protruding from his back and does a rather spectacular backflip before landing with a thud. A cloud of dust rises as he processes this sudden and unexpected halt. "...Zau? Rider? You still on?"
"Mimimimimi..." The warg looks around and finds his rider in foetal position not far away; a seasoned warg rider, he had fast enough reflexes to drop and roll before disaster struck. Now he slowly and deliberately gets up and dusts himself off before taking a deep breath. "WILL YOU STOP RUNNING FOR A MOMENT AND THINK??!!!"
"Isn't that your job?" the warg grins and wags his upside down tail.
"Eurgh..." Zaugloth replies. "Alright... we need to... uh-huh... Hm... Right; I think I've got it."

The warg carefully squirms through the hoop, fokllowing his rider's directions; first one wing, then a front paw, next the head, then the other front paw, second wing and last the hind legs and tail. The Orc climbs on and they speed over to the next hoop, skids to a halt, slooowly squirms through, then repeats the process with the third before bounding off towards the next obstacle.





NINJA TRIBUTE

[Silky Gooseness]

A Horrible Goose

Nobody really seems to appreciate Goose’s exquisite artwork. Angrily, he pecks off a bit of pumpkin. It’s actually quite delicious.

He’s following on the footsteps of a most alarming creature as they hit the obstacle course. Is that guy on fire??? Goose approves, as a true agent of chaos, but watches the willow hoops warily in case they catch alight. He has no plans to become Roast Goose.

Getting through the hoops is easy, of course, because Goose can fly. Pretending to leap, he simply flaps his wings awkwardly (Because of the pumpkin, of course) and just about gets airborne. The pumpkin is weighing him down a bit more than he thought, but fluttering through the hoops is gosling’s play.

Until the last hoop. This is quite a fat pumpkin, isn’t it? Prize winning, you might say.

Goose is stuck.

Hastily he begins to try to peck himself free before the next competitor barrels through...

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos, a hound

A race! Well why didn’t you say? Tindalos was about to rip off his costume when he heard the last stipulation. He was going to have to race… in this? That was, well, that was less than ideal. Tindalos hadn’t made this monstrous, eldritch costume with the idea that he could move around in it. His hindquarters were already getting tired from for the extra weight of the tentacles and the sock was beginning to taste rather foul.

But none of that matter to the spitz side of his nature. His bicolored eyes were already scanning the field, already making the measurements and already picturing himself flying majestically through the air. He woofed once and was off to the races. His eyes took on a crazy, determined look as his tongue wagged out. He lost the sock quickly which was a blessing, he was no longer distracted by the awful smell (Lord Elrond was going to need to invest in some good foot powder).

All he needed to do was jump through three measly hoops. Simple, right? Well, yes it would be very easy. Even though Tindalos was nearly the size of a small pony, he was gracefully and agile. However, he had never tried to do something like this while dressed as a tentacle monster. There were things he was going to need to consider. His size now was much larger, his lying hips were going to have a harder time fitting through those hoops. It was doable for sure; he was just going to have to calculate the momentum along with the added weight to the distance. The trajectory would have to be angled much more precisely than he normally bothered.

Nothing for it!

He leapt!

The first jump was successful, ish. He thought he felt the tentacles brush the sides but as the tentacles were not actually a part of him, he couldn’t tell, not in the heat of the moment (he needed a theme song like that for a task like this).

Again, he leapt!

This time was better. He launched himself earlier, so he hit the middle of the hoop with room to spare.

And then a final time, he leapt.

Perfection! Well almost. Okay, sorta. Honestly not really. He leapt with the same speed and trajectory and angle but the tentacles at his hip squirmed (almost as if they were coming to life) and bounced off the willow hoop. He made it through and landed on all four paws despite the distraction but he was surely going to be counted off for that last disasterpiece. It might have had something to do with the gooose (huh?) that was stuck in the hoop that he hadn't seen at all until suddenly there was an explosion of orange and feathers. At least he was through!

[Zôrzimril]

Unnamed Wolf(ie)

The sun, a flaming balrog, a dragon, a very bizarre “hound,” and a dog king faced the wolf. He inclined his head silently at each in turn as they presented their costumes. He maintained his composure even when one roared paint right in their faces. Stoically, the wolf shook out his coat from head to tail. Some nearby trees (and possibly one or two of the handlers) were splattered with flying drops of paint.

Fur (and mane) now somewhat yellow and red in spots and coat looking quite puffy, verging on floofy, the wolf glared around and finally fixed his gaze on Yávië, who had flopped onto the ground. The wolf was a bit tired. Setting up an obstacle course fit to test the mettle of they who would be Endor’s greatest dog was no mean feat. But that hound really did love his dramatics.

He watched from the sidelines as the competitors began the obstacle course. Quite a few costumes got in the way. His tongue lolled out, betraying his amusement. “Shall we follow them?” he asked Yávië. They would need to observe the contestants along the course to judge well, after all. And so ghostly wolfhound and lion-maned wolf loped after the competitors.

Contestants who haven't yet started may of course begin at any time!
Just remember, tasks must be completed in succession, with one task per post. If you fall behind, you can post again after an update or after another competitor has posted.


Obstacle #2
Your next obstacle is to cross an enormous, teetering see-saw (ahem, a roughly-hewn plank of wood balancing on a big rock...), which is covered in a sticky white substance that smells sweet and would probably go well, toasted, with chocolate and graham crackers. What do you make of the sweet stuff? RP clearing this odd contraption to move on!

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Tremarctos ornatus @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Menolly]

Obstacle 1

Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins eyed the willow branch hoops swaying in the wind. Normally, this would be no challenge at all. His feline grace had stood him in good stead for many years and through many dangerous obstacles in the city surrounding Castle Florin. There was, however, the small issue of him wearing pieces of gold plate and feathers, which made him look even more fabulous but decidedly less agile.

The paint can had at least been used to full effect, so he didn't have to worry about that weighing him down. But how to get through the hoops? BooBoo watched them too, her eyes following them as they swayed in the wind. She walked over and reached her walking stick up to still them, and in that moment Cutiepants catapulted up her body, using it as a vault to soar through the hoops. He got so much air that he soared through the first two with no problem (or so he thought). But the feathers woven into the fur on his back and tail caught on the second hoop, screwing up his trajectory. He lunged frantically at the third hoop and caught it in his front paws, hauling himself up with sheer feline stubbornness. The feathers caught again and he turned around, ripping out the most problematic ones. Feathers fell around him as he landed on the ground and struck a most noble pose, head held high. Course completed with style.

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose at Obstacle 2

Something is about to change Goose’s perspective forever.

He’s hanging in the hoop, diligently using his beak to work the pumpkin free of the willow, when a great, stinking, hairy SOMETHING barrels into him...

Observe it in slow-mo.

Tindalos’ hound, soaring gracefully through the air...

the moment of truth, as the pumpkin glints in the sun...

Orange flesh slowly impacting and flying outwards. Watch it wobble and contract...

gold and white feathers fluttering to the ground -

as out of the chaos, Goose flies free with a triumphant, and also slightly inDognant, squawk...

and a squelching noise.

Soooo anyway about that next obstacle

Goose totters onto the seesaw and immediately gets his feet stuck. In classic goose fashion he panics and begins to strike at the substance with his beak, before realising that it tastes DELICIOUS. He pecks up a little more and thinks: hey, after all, we have a precedent here:

1) Goose’s outfit has been Ruined
2) Goose looks great wearing tasty stuff

He awkwardly lies down and rolls himself in a thick coating of the stuff before pattering down over the teeter totter. His feet are so drenched in pumpkin juice that he doesn’t stick too badly; and after all, he’s not as heavy as some of these great beasts. Plus now he looks like a fluffy adorable cloud!

[Zôrzimril]

Unnamed Wolf(ie)

The “dog” dressed as the sun exploded from the final hoop with Tindalos’ help. A golden feather floated down and booped the wolf on his snoot. He wrinkled his nose and sneezed. “Chaos,” he yowled. Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins was more graceful.

He sniffed eagerly and yipped as the honking creature rolled itself into the white fluffy sweet stuff, already dripping in pumpkin juice. Yävië had introduced the wolf to so many sweet treats, starting with that powdery stuff in Imladris. It had taken all his willpower not to gobble down the sticky fluffy substance as they had spread it upon the seesaw. He licked his lips. That feathery one smelled better with each round.

Obstacle #3
Misdirection! A strange metal creature--some might recognize a slightly fried protocol droid--clanks into your path. It gestures left and right, up, down, and sideways repeating “I insist you go that way, sir. No, really, I must insist! That way!” How do you stay on course?

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Hermes Trismegistus @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose at Obstacle 3

CLANK! CLANK!

“Now really! You’re going quite the wrong way!”

HONK! HONK! came Goose’s battle-cry. As a horrible goose, he knew very well what the right way was: he had hung out with enough of his Canadian homing brethren to develop a good sense of where he was meant to be.

And exactly where Goose was meant to be was precisely where others didn’t wish him to be. Usually this was in the middle of their prize pumpkins. Or possibly evacuating his goosey bowels in their clean laundry. Or perhaps swallowing all their jewellery.

This was no exception.

Furious at being balked in any way, shape or form, the horrible Goose flew straight at the protocol droid and pecked violently at its eyes and any loose wires that Goose could see. Then he clapped his wings viciously just for emphasis and swanned goosed his way onwards.

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos, dazed
Obstacle 2

His head hurt. His costume was starting to sag in places. All he saw was orange (or it would be all he saw if he weren’t colorblind). What had happened to him that last moment of the first obstacle? He couldn’t quite remember. The ground was covered in pumpkin and feathers. Huh?

He sniffed and made the executive decision to eat some of the pumpkin. It could help him regain his strength, there was no way to telling what might happen. He had to test it out.

No extra energy, but boy was that pumpkin good. It was so good in fact that Tindalos forget he was in the middle of a race! He spent some time savoring the rich creamy flavor of the pumpkin (spitting out the occasional feather that somehow found its way into his mouth.

It wasn’t until the yippee dog nearly passed him that… what a second! He sniffed the air. That wasn’t a dog! And neither was the goose! He was the only canine in this race after all! He ought to win by default, this wasn’t the best animal on Endor this was… that goose was really far ahead of him already. He was not going to get outdone by a goose!

Tindalos was off again, bits of his costume coming off. The terrifying jaw and mandibles that he had spent so much time working on was now mostly just hanging off the sheet. This was no good. Hopefully he wouldn’t get counted off his costume coming apart. He bounded onto the plank of wood and… mmmmmm was that... he sniffed, and licked, and licked, and licked. Yes, it was! Marshmallow! He hadn’t had marshmallow in years! It was so good and so sweet and, dangit again! All of this food was getting very distracting. He was going to have a word with someone about that. Maybe it was supposed to be there though. Hmmm, how dastardly! He bounded over the seesaw and onto the next obstacle, his paws sticking a little to the ground with each step.

[Menolly]

Obstacle 2

He was sporting fewer feathers than before, and Cutiepants could feel his gold plate shifting and coming loose. BooBoo had arthritis in her fingers, and clearly she hadn't tied the plates on quite as tightly as she should have. He probably looked less like a spectacular dragon and more like a grizzled cat covered in bits of metal and feathers, but fortunately he was a spectacular cat who didn't need a costume to look his best. The next obstacle at least looked easier to navigate with bits of metal plate falling off his body.

Or at least it looked easier until Cutiepants set one paw on the plank. STICKY. It was STICKY. His perfect paws were STICKY. This indignity could not be tolerated! And yet he had to continue on. He set one paw down at a time, gingerly, hating every moment of the sticky fluffy goo squishing into his paw pads and matting his fur. Step, shake paw, step, repeat. Cutiepants in fact looked quite ridiculous, but fortunately his feline ego couldn't fathom that.

As he reached the apex of the see-saw, he felt the chest plate of his dragon costume fall free. It landed in front of him and slid a little on the gooey fluffy stuff. This gave him an idea. Cutiepants took one reluctant step back, then leapt forward and landed with all four paws on the little square of metal plating. It slid down the ramp, picking up speed. Cutiepants hunkered down and then leapt free as the plate reached the bottom, landing with more style and grace than any silly pointy eared surfing elf might ever have landed.

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos, sticky and hungry
Obstacle 3

Needless to say, there are issues with being the size of a small pony. One of the issues Tindalos was experiencing right now was the inability to change directions on a dime, or a silver, or whatever passed for coinage around here. He saw the robot thingie but by the time it occurred to him that he needed to move around it, he was already on a collision course with it.

Oh no, oh no. Oh no, oh no. Ohnoohnohono

There was no way around this, he was just going to have to lower his head and hope that whatever this thing was, it was not too sturdy. He picked up speed, the only thing he could do at this juncture, and when he did, he thought he saw the goose, the goose that was definitely not a dog that had been dressed in a pumpkin. This was going to be bad. Tindalos closed his eyes and howled, bahred, and woofed as loud as he could to try and frighten the creature away until….

… too late.

Tindalos made connection with the metal covered two-leg and everything exploded in shouts and feathers and yelps.

[Aerlinn]

These are fantastic! And that drawing is amazing @Hoglorfen. Thanks for the laughs, everyone.

Obstacle #4
Gandalf must have been here, because you find your path blocked by a bunch of fireworks and still smoking pipes. They must have fallen off the back of the wizard's cart! Can you pick your way carefully through the mess without knocking anything over and setting off a disastrous chain reaction?

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Walpurgisnacht @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Menolly]

Obstacle 3

Cutiepants spat out sweet white fluffy stuff as he groomed his paws clean again. What a demeaning experience! Fortunately, he had managed to clean out almost all of the repulsive goo when a gold plated creature approached him with a shambling gait. Cutiepants curled his lip back over his teeth. What was this strange beast? It smelled of nothing so much as metal and oil, and was clad in the same gold plating that was rapidly coming apart over the cat's own flanks. Another dragon? A very poor one, if that was the intention.

It buzzed unintelligible garbage at him. Cutiepants could of course understand the speech of humans (although his own human BooBoo didn't exactly demonstrate a large vocabulary) but all human words sounded like unintelligible garbage when they weren't of interest to him. The metal beast blocked his path. Cutiepants' fur stood on end from his shoulder blades down his back and tail, making the feathers stand up for a surprisingly chilling effect. "Be silent," the enormous feline snapped at the annoyance, and reaching out, slapped the creature's head from its shoulders. A few odd looking twigs stuck out as the head went rolling, sparking with lights briefly. It kept buzzing meaningless words, but at least did not attempt to bar his path any further. Cutiepants did not even dignify the lowly beast with a sideways glance as he strolled on by.

[Hoglorfen]

Obstacle 2

Lûlmashnikh plods merrily towards the next challenge. He readies himself for the daring maneuver... and screeches to a halt. "Nom?"
Zaugloth's face falls. "Oh no."
"Nom!"
"Nar!"
"Nom nom nom"
"Stop it!"
"Nom nom nom nom nom nom"

The Orc gets more and more livid as the warg just stands there and licks the plank. He tries to yank his head up by the horns, but that only makes them come off. He proceeds to beat him over the head with them, but the thick-headed warg barely takes notice, transfixed as he is by the nom.

Suddenly he lurches backwards as Lûlmashnikh clears the plank in one big jump, landing squarely on all fours on the other side and knocking the wind out of his poor rider in the process. Then he turns around and continues to lick the pparts he hadn't been able to reach before.
If Orcs could cry, Zaugloth would have done so now. Instead he only lolls despondently on top of his warg, idly picking lice out of his mane and eating them. It takes a long time for them to clear the obstacle. Then Lûlmashnikh does a 180 degree spin that nearly throws his rider off as he rushes off towards the next.

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose coming up to Obstacle Four

Goose hissed with malevolent delight as he saw the debris left by the cart. This seemed like something Goose could disrupt, break, or ruin. And as a true adherent to Chaotic Evil, he was bound to do as his nature demanded.

Hopping over, he picked up the first pipe in his beak, but, far from taking a quick smoke round the back of the hedges, he opened his wings and took flight (somewhat ruining the idea that he was a dog, but very much in the spirit of his new cloud disguise).

Hovering near-ish to the ground he spotted the largest heap of fireworks he could and with a triumphant HONK! HONK! cast the pipe directly at it.

The resultant explosion deafened Goose (and probably his fellow racers) but gave the glorious effect of Goose soaring gloriously out of the sparks like a Phoenix, albeit short another couple of feathers and a spot of marshmallow coating.

[Aerlinn]

Yávië the Floofy Doofy Wolfhound
Auditioning for a career as a Endor's first play-by-play announcer

"Woof," Yávië barked at the suspicious metal thing he had found in the forest. Suddenly, his own voice seemed to echo back from somewhere in the trees. "Woof woof?" he tried again.

"Woof woof?" said the trees, too loudly and clearly for a regular echo. The wolfhound nudged the thing with his nose and it made an odd crackling sound. "Wolfie, is that you?"

It happened again and no answer came from the wolf. Carefully, Yávië picked the strange device up in his jaws and took it over to where Wolfie was staring longingly at the goo covered see-saw. "Wolfie! Wolfie! Did you hear that?" he said excitedly, dropping the box at his friend's feet. "I think it's magic! Look! They can probably hear us for miles!"

Without stopping to consider if that was a good thing or not, Yávië cleared his throat with a rumble and took stock of the contestants.

"Ladies and gentledogs, are you watching this? What a sight! Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins the dragon cat--wait, sorry, not a cat, Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins the definitely NOT A CAT--has found a unique use for her costume. It's been converted into some sort of slide, I think. Yes! It has! Look at her go! Lûlmashnikh isn't far behind her but ooooooh noooooo he's discovered a fondness for the sticky white stuff the course designers--that would be yours truly plus my dear Wolfie the Wolf, of course--used on the see-saw and his handler just can't pull him away! This could take a while so let's go take a look-see a little further up the course...

Stars above! What is that small, flying, feather-covered...dog...doing? He can't be...no...he is! He's set off the fireworks, deliberately it seems, and now he's burst out of the explosion and--oh my! What is that smell? A little smokey...a bit like chicken..."

[Zôrzimril]

Obstacle #5

The next challenge is a tunnel (aka a huge hollowed out log), pitch-black inside and teeming with poisonous centipedes and spiders. How will you pass through unharmed?

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Walpurgisnacht @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Hoglorfen]

Obstacle 3

Lûlmashnikh yelps as an alien monstrosity suddenly blocks his path. Its voice card broken beyond repair, it now only wails incoherent nonsense as it flails and points in all directions at once.
"It's an Elf!!" the warg howls. "A bloody-handed Elf! A great, pointy-eared wannabe wraith-warrior!" But he is not afraid, oh no. This is proper Orc w-... err, warg-work! Striking an epic battle stance, the warg snarls and attacks, biting into what might be the chest of the foul Enemy and shaking it to break its spine.

A loud FFZZZTCCHHHH is heard. Zaugloth, who again managed to jump off just in time, eventually manages to dislodge the droid from Lûlmashnikh's cramped jaws. The warg now looks more like a giant, very unhealthy poodle, his fur standing straight up all over his body and sparkling ominously. A giant, unhealthy, ominously sparkling poodle with half-burned wings, pipes in its ears and strips of cloth tied to it. The Orc goes "Ow! Ouch! Owwie!" as he tries to get back on while getting constantly zapped because of the mismatched armour he's unfortunately wearing.

They continue on towards the next obstacle...

[Silky Gooseness]

Goose is racing towards Obstacle Five

and it’s a long dark tunnel ahead of Goose
but Goose fears nothing except that lady gardener with the shears and the bad temper who keeps chasing him out of her cabbage patch and really she needs to lose the attitude
so slightly smoky Goose is running into the log
what the shire
Something is stuck to Goose’s marshmallow
A LOT of things are stuck to the marshmallow
Better waddle faster
Ahhhh
Tickling over Goose’s feet
that’s it
PECK PECK PECK
PECK
PECK
PECK PECK
mmmm these actually taste pretty good
wait

one of them is FIGHTING BACK
Goose smashes his beak against the side of the log
Oorghh
Ow
Ow ow
Ok let’s waddle faster

There’s the light at the end of the tunnel
Goose, five spiders and a centipede all stuck on, make for the end of the tunnel
Dramatically burst free
Try to shake off the spiders
Nope, they’re not having it
They’re along for the ride
Ok spiders are goose’s bros now

Come along spider bros
Let us seek victory together

Not you centipede you can get lost

[Zôrzimril]

Unnamed Wolf(ie)

“It is not me,” said the wolf. “Aroooooo!” he howled. “Aroo! Aroo! Aroo! Aroo!” came the echoes of his voice, magically resounding through the woods. He looked solemnly at Yávië. “That was me.”

He stalked along the course as the wolfhound spoke with the swellest diction. The wolf’s amber eyes widened each time something chaotic happened. So a lot. He scampered over to Yávië, dignity momentarily forgotten, to join in the fun.

“And look,” he yipped gleefully into the microphone. “That big warg has electrocuted his rider! Hahahaaaaaroo!”

A loud sequence of noises came from the massive log into which the sticky and Horrible Goose had disappeared. “It would appear that the bird which is pretending to be a dog is fighting for his life against some bugs,” he said simply. “This seems like a natural consequence of trying to win a dog show when you are a goose.”

The Goose emerged, spiders clinging (or plastered) to its sides. “Hmmm,” growled the wolf. “Maybe that one won’t be so tasty after all.”

[Menolly]

Obstacle 4

Well now, someone had clearly created some chaos here. Cutiepants could appreciate chaos. He smelled an acrid scent that reminded him of celebrations at Castle Florin, when the royal humans set off...what did they call them? Fireworks? Fire...now there was an idea.

His dragon costume was certainly a bit worse for wear, but Cutiepants realized he suddenly had all the ingredients to breathe fire, and he was nothing if not intent on completing his costume the way he had envisioned it. Treading carefully through the minefield of smoke and sulfur, he picked up a likely looking rocket with a long tail of a fuse. Carefully, carefully, he set the end of the fuse in the bowl of a smoking pipe and watched it catch, hissing as the flame raced up the length of the fuse. Finally, he bolted through the rest of the mess of fireworks and struck a pose, hoping the judges might be watching.

The firework in his mouth did not so much spew fire as it exploded, launching back over his head and singing his whiskers and the remaining feathers that ran down his back and tail. Cutiepants coughed smoke and spat cinders out, but a few burnt whiskers were nothing alarming compared to his rough and tumble life in the city. Behind him, there was a loud sizzling sound and then a series of explosions. Perhaps he wasn't breathing fire, but as every cat knew, sauntering away from an explosion without a hint of concern was even cooler than breathing fire. He sauntered as only a confident feline can saunter, ignoring the feathers on his back that had burst into flame. Surely this would impress the judges.

[Hoglorfen]

Obstacle 4

The warg bounds along the path while trying to shake his fur back into place, without much success. That last obstacle was scary! How could they have caught an Elven warrior of all things and placed it here? That can't be legal. But then, he was a bit behind on the whole "law and order" bit. Ah well; the worst part must surely be over now!

There's a BOOM in the distance. Lûlmashnikh smells roast chicken on the wind. That must be the grand prize! He runs faster.

Suddenly he lurches to the side as his ever perceptive rider yanks on his harness. There is a loud BANG and a CRACK and a SIZZLE and colour explodes all around them.
"THE SKY IS FALLING DOWN THE STARS ARE EXPLODING IT'S THE END TIMES!!" the warg howls. The End Times are over rather quickly, however, and soon he dares to stand back up and shake the embers out of his fur. He sniffs the remains of a firework. "Oi, they're using sorcery on us! That's CHEATING! ...Zau, d'you know any sorcery?"
"Well, I know this one trick..." He reaches forward and pretends to steal the warg's nose.
Lûlmashnikh stares at him with admiration. "That is SO cool! Now give it back, I need to use it to find our way through here."

Sniffing the ground to find where the other contestants passed, the warg carefully passes the firework patch. As he does so, Zaugloth hops off with a leer and aims a few of them forward along the path to take vengeance upon the wicked folk who frightened his pup. He uses a pipe to set them all off at once, then hops back on.

[Aerlinn]

Obstacle #6
You emerge from the tunnel to the sound of a roaring river. A rickety wooden bridge guarded by Wicket is your only way over. How do you get around the ewok?

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Walpurgisnacht @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Menolly]

Obstacle 5

The fire had given Cutiepants an idea as he contemplated the pitch black tunnel. Not that pitch black bothered him any, but he could hear little creatures with far too many feet crawling about inside, and he had a good idea that they weren't the nice friendly kind of spiders and centipedes. To be fair, he'd never met a friendly spider or centipede, but he'd eaten his fair share of them when pickings were slim, so he could understand them being unfriendly.

In any case, he had no desire to be bitten today (or any day). He returned to the smoldering ruin of the fireworks and dipped his remaining singed feathers in the smoking bits of detritus. The feathers flared up. Cutiepants sprinted at a dead run, as only cats can sprint, and bolted through the tunnel with his metal plates clanking and his feathers on fire and not-so-tiny creepy crawly creatures falling all around him, stunned by the smoke.

He was relieved to reach the other end. Even a perfect feline could be brought low by a venomous bite, but not him! Pleased with his victory, he stretched, still clanking, and took a very smug bath right then and there, removing the last of the smoking bits of feathers.

[Silky Gooseness]

Obstacle Six, Goose is Coming For You

The noise of the roaring river fills everyone’s ears. Goose flaps his wings and HONKS with pleasure. As a goose, he enjoys fresh water a great deal.

Spider bros aren’t too sure. They cling on grimly to their marshmallow nests.

The way is guarded by a guy who looks like a fat, short, squat bear.
Goose hates squat bears.
Goose hates everyone.

Now, there’s an easy way past this obstacle; it’s clearly for Goose to just fly on by; but how would this allow Goose to express his utter contempt for Squat Bear and his general chaos attitude?

It wouldn’t.

There’s several options here:

1) Fly over Squat Bear anyway. On the way over, carefully time a bowel movement to land on Squat Bear’s head. Laugh derisively. Honk honk!

2) Fly over Squat Bear. Deploy Spider Bros with tactical silk parachutes to attack Squat Bear from above. Make good your escape while Squat Bear screams at spider bros. Honk honk!

3) Run directly at Squat Bear, flapping your wings and screaming at the top of your Honk. At the last moment whip your neck back and forth so two of the Spider Bros fly at Squat Bear’s eyes. Whilst Squat Bear tries to clear the Spider Bros out of its darn cute lil button eyes, smugly trample Squat Bear and bite its spear in two. Then have a bowel movement anyway and run on. Continue to flap and scream throughout.

GOOSE CHOOSES OPTION THREE. HONK HONK MOTHER CLUCKERS!

[Hoglorfen]

Obstacle 5

Lûlmashnikh and Zaugloth soon reach the tunnel. Plenty of upset scuttling can be heard from within.
"Excuse me?" calls the warg. "D'you mind if we pass? We're on urgent business by... Yes I know this isn't the highway to Harad, but... No more disturbances, no... Huh."
"Well?" Zaugloth asks. "What do they want?"
"For us to jump into the nearest bagronk and chew our spinnerets off, or something like that."
"Oh, for crying out loud... Tell 'em we're on the same side!"
Lûlmashnikh sticks his snout into the tunnel entrance again. "Well, you heard my rider. We'll share the spoils with you on the way back! ...You're not fond of chicken. Hm... What if I DO find a bagronk and bring back some fat, juicy flies?" He looks up victoriously. "We've got a deal!"
Zaugloth cheers. "What about the centipedes?"
"What about them?"
"Do they want flies too?"
"I don't know, I don't speak centipede! They're not part of Morgoth's ilk."
"Neither are spiders."
"Can we discuss technicalities later? We're losing!"

A hissing sound approaches rapidly from behind. Zaugloth's face falls. "Oh sh-... jump!!"
For once, the warg obeys. The fireworks, having finally been set off, whizzes past into the tunnel. Fire and starlight spews out of both entrances and the whole log shakes a bit.
"Um..." says Lûlmashnikh. "I think the deal's off."
"Forget the deal, just run before they recover from the shock!"

[Zôrzimril]

Oops, a little late

Obstacle #7
You’re next faced with an a-frame ramp aka a huge triangular boulder. While you are scaling it, a band of orcs attacks! (Or, if you’re an orc, a band of elves attacks!) Fight them off to call this relatively simple obstacle complete.

You have 12 hours.

@Menolly @skekSil @HONK HONK @Walpurgisnacht @Sparky Boy @Hoglorfen

[Silky Gooseness]

Obstacle Seven, Goose is approaching the Finish

Goose took the boulder at a run, flapping wildly to retain his balance. He was almost at the top when one of the spider bros tickled his face. Goose whipped his long neck round. Shire Honking potatoes! This was an unexpected and unwelcome turn of events.

Goose had absolutely no wish to be roasted for dinner by a horde of orcs, even though he had every belief that, in his marshmallow coating, he would be incredibly delicious and a culinary experience they would Never forget. Something would have to be done.

Some of the more enterprising orcs shot a couple of arrows up hopefully at Goose, but their aim was poor and the troupe decided to scale the boulder instead and grab poor Goose bodily.

This indignity could not be borne. Goose was full of nervous energy. He clapped his wings wildly and honked. By the time they got within pecking reach, between the lot of them they would surely seize him by the neck and Goose would be Toast.

But what do birds uhhh dogs do when they’re nervous?

That’s right.

Goose hadn’t used up all his roughage earlier. This was fortunate.

What emerged from Goose’s nervous nethers was practically liquid, smelt appalling, and, crucially, was incredibly slippery. This deluge of panic-induced acid waste smacked the climbing orcs square in the faces. As they clawed the effluent out of their eyes with indignant, disgusted cries, they lost their grip on the now very slippery boulder and fell down hard to the ground with bone-crunching thumps, humiliated and blinded.

Goose felt much... lighter.

[Menolly]

Obstacle 6

Cutiepants Cuddlebuns VonFluffykins, like all good cats, did not care for water. Now, with heavy gold plates tied to his body, he especially did not like water. Although he was an absolute perfect entirely superior feline without a fear in the world, it might even be fair to say that he hated water with every bone in his body.

As he approached the bridge, his fur stood up on end and he could feel his back arching in distress. The rickety bridge did not disturb him, because he was confident in his feline balance and grace, but the strange creature standing on the bridge gave him pause. It gave him four paws, in fact, as it held up its furry appendages to bar Cutiepants from crossing.

Cutiepants knew from long experience that when the occasional frightening experience happened (not that he was frightened, not ever) the best way through was the most direct. And if he could instill some fear himself, so much the better. He screamed as only an enormous grizzled street cat raised by an ancient booer can scream and barreled right at the small furry beast, yowling and spitting and flying through the air. He wasn't entirely sure whether he knocked the beast down or flew right over its head, but in either case, his paws hit the ground on the other side of the river just a few seconds later. Relief flooded through him (not that he had ever been frightened, of course).

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos
Obstacle 4

Tindalos awoke with a start and a woof. His head was pounding, and his vision was blurry. What had happened? He pawed at the drool that had poured from his lips while he had been unconscious. As he did, the memory of a running headlong into the stiff legged robot thing cam back to him. He must have hit the thing hard. He had knocked himself out and the stiffed legged robot thing was nowhere to be seen. There were some shiny bits and bobs lying about though. Had Tindalos killed him? Blown him into another dimension? Let’s go with option two, it sounded much cooler.

He shook himself off, nearly losing one of his hindquarter tentacles in the process and began running again. The wolfhound was not sure how long he’d been out, but it was long enough that he had been completely left behind. He wasn’t in last place, but that was only because a few of the other competitors had refused to actually race.

Ahead, Tindalos slowed to a trot (he was as big as a pony, so he liked to use equine related words relating to his speed). There were fireworks strewn about the ground in such a manner as to suggest… something, Tindalos thought he was on to something but the more he tried to figure out the wherefore and the thithertos he got lost. It was strange pile of fireworks. There. That’s what he could come up with. He woofed at the pile, giving it a warning not to try anything funny. Satisfied that the fireworks would not try to jump up and bite at him, the giant wolfhound-spitz darted on graceful paws through the minefield. He was certain his tentacles would be the death of him but even though several of them dragged on the ground, one even managing to snag and hold onto one of the fireworks, nothing went off. Hmm, maybe he could save that for later. He was sure he would need it… somehow. Whatever, onward to the next obstacle.

[The Good Hunter]

Tindalos
Obstacle 5

The next obstacle was very confusing. Tindalos actually came to a full stop when he saw it. A log? How was he supposed to fight inside? As he often liked to remind anyone and everyone, he was a very large hound, almost the size of a small pony in fact. How was he supposed to fit inside that long? Not to mention the added size, weight, and wobbliness of his betentacled costume?

This was a conundrum. A very creepy crawly conundrum. Tindalos watched as a giant centipede (aka Sauron Spiders) crawled out of the log.

NOPE! NOPE! SORRY! NOPE! Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope! NOPE! Not happening, nope. Sorry. See that? That’s Tindalos noping his way out of nopesville with nope trailing behind him as he nopes down nope road and turns nope onto nope avenue and merges onto I-NOPE.

Okay, now that the freakout was over, Tindalos could thing. He had a barrier between him and all the creepy crawling bugs, Elrond’s sheet! He woofed a warning to all the bugs in the log. If anyone of them got too close, he’d light the firecracker in his tentacle and they’d all be sorry! Never mind the fact that he had no way of actually lighting it.

He charged through the log, howling as loud as he could along the way. He closed his eyes and imagined himself anywhere, literally anywhere, but in a tiny log filled with death bugs and demon spiders.

When he finally made it out, he looked back and… the log had inexplicably exploded. He knew he was too large for such a thing. He was the size of a small pony! Hadn’t he told everyone before?