The Adamanta Chubb Librarian

[Chrysophylax Dives]

The Adamanta Chubb Librarian is the mistress of Elostirion, the great Library of Undertowers housed on the Hill on which stands the tallest and most western of the three Elf-towers of the Westmarch. The proper name of the Librarian is @Saranna, and her word on this thread is law and lore.

The thread is open to all who care to visit the Library. When this thread began we envisaged the Library with two external doors on the ground, but events involving our first visit left the tower without its original external staircase. These are how the towers look at present.*



Visitors who climb the hill to our Library tower should shout up to either myself or the Librarian with a mention. We will consult our list of Middle-earth denizens to check if you are allowed entrance. Basically, we aim to encourage learning and book-study among a diverse readership and are keen to encourage all and sundry to enter the Library. But we are also custodians of precious books! So you will not be permitted entrance if you are on our banned list.**

Those who appear in our Library tower without accounting for their entrance risk being transformed into talking cats, or worse.

* This image was originally dedicated to @Silky Gooseness with thanks for her inspiration but the senior partner at Hill, Hill, and Hill revoked the dedication in a fit of rage. Now that Hill has been exposed for the Barrow that he was it is my pleasure to restore the original dedication, this time in the hope that the formal state of professional relationships between dragon and goose might one day improve.

** Criteria for entrance to the Library: (1) No feuders, unless you are explicitly visiting to conduct the pinkie shake - and we wish to conduct the pinkie shake with you; (2) All visitors should ideally have received a butter-knife on the official Fangorn thread.

All and any disputes on rules are decided by @Saranna, the Adamanta Chubb Librarian.

[Saranna]

Saranna was relieved to reach the foot of the Tower. It had felt like a long journey West from the bounds of the Shire, and the Towers seemed not to loom higher and higher mule-step by mule-step as she had expected them to. If anything, they seemed to get further away and even to flicker out of sight from time to time. 'Though why anything should surprise me about Elf-Towers, after my centuries dwelling in Imladris, I cannot imagine.'

The mule came to a sudden stop, evidently deciding that the Towers were now near enough to count as journey's end. She brayed loudly and turned her head to eye Saranna meaningfully. Yes, no need to shout at me, Allis. Saranna got down from the cart and looped the reins around her arm, taking hold of the bridle to encourage the tired animal a little nearer to the buildings. The cart contained far more in the way of heavy boxes and chests filled with books and scrolls than it did of food, clothing, furniture and comforts for a newly appointed librarian.

Once Allis was unharnessed and grazing, Saranna looked about her. Hmm - what was it @Hill said before dashing off back to the Golden Wood? Oh yes - that the towers had been uninhabited for a long while, and would certainly be dusty. He would try to come and help, or send help with unpacking and settling in as soon as he could. Well, I shall see what happens. Lifting two of the lightest bags out of the cart, Saranna checked that the wheels were braked, and moved slowly toward the door of the nearest Tower. Shades of Pengoloð, aid me she whispered as she looked up at the ancient building.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill was sitting in the open house of Fairbairn the Fat when one of the little Hills ran in the door shouting that the Librarian was already at the top of the hill. 'Which hill?' It was the nearest. Well, at least that was good news. But @Saranna and her mule had walked past the lookouts told off to sit in the hills and watch for her arrival. Hill shook his head. His little Hills needed some talking to. Right now, however, the first Adamanta Chubb Librarian was waiting at the foot of the tower at the top of the hill.

20 minutes later Hill stood at the top of the hill by the foot of the tower, huffing and puffing, effusively greeting Saranna, while directing several little Hills to deal with Allis the mule, the cart, and all that was in it - 'Take it all to the room we prepared upstairs in Fairbairn's house', I told the biggest of the little Hills, and then put my arm round Saranna and directed her gently but firmly back down the Hill.

'So wonderful to see you, my dear. You have not changed a bit!' Though secretly Hill thought Saranna looked younger and more sprightly than ever. 'We booked a room for you in Fairbairn's house, right at the back far away from the music. What was that? Please, mind your step, no this way, yes, thank you, I am sorry, once again? Ah, well we are actually in the process of cleaning the tower right at this moment and, well obviously you will be much more comfortable in the house of Fairbairn. Well, um, listen! I will explain everything once we are sitting down.'

25 minutes later the two of us were seated at a table in the main public room of the house of Fairbairn. I'd ordered for the new Librarian both the famous mead and one of the Dwarf's special teas, the librarian could mix them as she saw fit. The fire was warming our feet, and some food was cooking. As yet we had the place to ourselves, if you don't count the three Dwarves still slumbering on some benches, sleeping off the previous night. Time to explain.

'Look Saranna, we have a slight problem. You are 100% correct that this is the Westmarch, the High Elves have crossed the Sea, and the 3 towers are empty. However, this historical reality means that therefore we are legally part of the Shire, and as such under plaza admin jurisdiction. And that is precisely what we are trying to escape. We are arguing that we are really in the Third Age, when the White Downs and the Far Downs and the Tower Hills were all beyond the western borders of the Shire. You see the problem? Our legal argument is flawed by historical reality.'

'So, until we can think of a better solution, here is the strategy: We act as if we are still in the Third Age, and imagine a time when the High Elves who did their high tower thing tolerated Hobbits and also Dwarves building houses, getting drunk, and making music in the valleys below the hills on which their towers stood. We have asked some Mirkwood Elves to hang out in the three towers for a while, and on most nights we put a blue light in the topmost chamber of the tallest tower.'

'A longer-term plan is on the table, but proving tricky in the execution. We have built a house for the @NPF and are hoping to persuade her to come and dwell to the west of Undertowers. If we had a genuine fairy-legend to our name then we reckon we could come clean about the High Elves having gone, along with their Stone. Unfortunately, the Fairy is proving obdurate. But we will not give up!'

'Enough Library talk. I know you are brimming with catalogue questions and eager to put away your manuscripts. But you have ridden very far and the Elf-towers will still be here tomorrow. Tonight, may I suggest mixing some of this Dwarvish tea with Fairbairn's most excellent mead? The effects can be... spectacular.'

[Chrysophylax Dives]

The Librarian was making merry with two Hobbits on a table - she seemed to have hit the right tea-mead mix - when a tug on my sleeve turned my head to several of the little Hills, who had crept up to my table and were all looking awkward. Little Hill 3, who had tugged, looked me defiantly in the eye while justifying himself: 'We put all the manuscripts and other stuff in the cart in the upstairs room, like you asked little Hill 1.' I groaned inwardly, expecting the worst. 'So?' They all exchanged looks before little Hill 2 blurted out: 'We could not get the mule and cart upstairs!' And then they all started talking at once, telling me while correcting each other how the cart was too big to get in the door and Fairbairn had refused entrance to the mule. I turned my face to the window, looked up at the high tower on the hill, and counted to ten. Then I looked at little Hill 1 and asked where the mule and cart were now to be found? Little Hill 1 stared at the ground and mumbled that they were in the stables round the corner. Once more to the window, but a count of five sufficed before I turned round and, giving the little Hills a nod of dismissal, ordered a tea and mead mix for myself.

[Saranna]

Saranna was confounded by her own carelessness in driving poor Allis all the way up to a tower that was not ready for her. @Hill's rescue was very welcome, indeed so were the tea and the mead so thoughtfully provided. Little Hills underfoot were a surprise and delight. She explained to @Hill 'It must be my romantic disposition. I had a vision of tonight as being a time of meditation in a dusty tower room, quietly thinking of past, present and future. Of friends now passed overseas, of friends still here with us, and of friends to come. I am thankful that your more practical approach has brought me here. This is excellent tea. And mead is known to aid meditation, which I can now devote to more current planning such as: dusting, sweeping, unpacking books and scrolls, arranging chests, boxes and shelves - ecstasy!'
She wondered what the next day would bring, and reminded herself that it might well be something entirely unexpected. Which seemed, on reflection, a good thing.

[Saranna]

Morning brought the sun, and a fair breeze from the West, The night's meditation had opened so many possibilities. But first tea seemed a good idea. She wondered where Hill and little Hills had got to? Possibly they would appear if there were sounds of teamaking and the buttering of scones?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Sounds of teamaking and scones being prepared sounded out of the back room at Fairbairn's house. But it brought no little Hills. The little Hills were making the sounds.

Today was first day of the off-season, always the best time on the Tower Hills. The struggling colony had not yet set down firm agricultural roots in the soil of the Westmarch, so tourism was the primary source of revenue. Tourists were money, but also noise and a general vibe of 'outsiderness' on the hills (no outsiders were allowed to step inside the towers, not for any price - though there were already some voices in the colony calling for 'special insider trading'). And sometimes they had to weed out a goblin or two sneaking in with some tour from Gondor. It was a lot of work and precious little time for doing what one was actually meant to do in Undertowers - working on a book in peace and quiet.

Hill stood in rapture for a moment, contemplating his book. It would be big but it would not be red. This was the primary question that Hill asked himself these days: What colour should my book be? Despite everything, he had been leaning to shocking pink yesterday, but this morning he was looking in the Mirror of his mind at Hill 'The Author of the Green Book'.

One of the little Hills asked something and self-indulgent ruminations were temporarily shelved. Inspecting the vessel held out, Hill asked: 'Did you know that the Old English word for vessel may well be the origin of the word Orc?' But little Hill did not care and wanted to know only about the cup. Hill nodded, and little Hill took the cup to a-less-little-Hill, who poured in the tea.

This ritual was new to this morning, and precipitated by the staff cuts that we have to make in the off-season. Not unreasonably, the Dwarf wished to be paid for all those amazing teas, but unfortunately we had spent all our funds on the house for the Fairy, five minutes walk to the west, and cannot not dip into our off-season budget for such luxury itsems as Dwarvish tea. So the Dwarf had gone west, which turned out to be bad not only for the tea but also for the general level of cleanliness in Fairbairn's house. Turns out there was a lot of invisible tidying and washing up that I never noticed. So now all the little Hills are called on once again (not all, of course, the littlest Hills only make mess, to learn to undo such 'creations' is the work of years). And the little Hills had not fully mastered the notion of 'clean'.

But this cup was clean, with no stray Hobbit-foot hairs still encrusted on the bottom as in the previous attempt 15 minutes ago. The tea was not a 'Dwarf-special' that the tourists all wanted, but it was a decent cup of regular tea for all that. Dwarvish tea certainly had its place in Undertowers, but perhaps not in the library, where one reads books. This was a perfect cup of tea for the Librarian to begin her first day up at the towers.

Hill considered giving the plate of tea and scones to the two Hills most little, but instead sent them scurrying behind little Hill the biggest, who carried the tray out of the kitchen and in to the front room for @Saranna .

Hill clamped his hand to my head, feeling more like barley field than hill, then located the butter and a knife, and shoved both into the hands of the nearest little Hill to take out to the Librarian.

Ahhhh. Now. Hopefully there would be for Hill too a whole day of books and archive inquiries ahead. But you know what? What with all this rushing Hill had not yet had a cup of tea himself this morning. Hill filled the kettle from the deep well outside the kitchen door and hung it again over the fire.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Deep underground, a backroom far in the back under the hill in the house of Fairbairn the Fat, in a cavern delved in the long ago by (some say) goblins, four or five Hills and three or four nameless others hold counsel.

I give you not the dialogue, for that would take until the sun had risen high in the sky and breakfasts had arrived past even lunctime, so the long and the short is that it was deemed by all (as well as sundry) that an Elvish Librarian was sufficient to bestow power on 4th-age Emyn Beraid - three wonderful Elvish towers sadly lacking any High Elves and absent the key stone of Elendil.

We have now Librarian and all the manuscripts in her cart. Also a donkey. The written word that we may read (on the paper that the donkey may eat). And the Librarian. It is enough; but someone should be delegated to keep a watch on the donkey (and best not one of the little Hills).

[Saranna]

Saranna found that before she could commence the boiling of the water and the spreading of butter on the scones, that she had imagined would fall to her as the first duty of the morning, she was besieged by small (er) (est) Hills bearing all that she required. @Hill, Lord of the Golden Wood, was not to be seen but Saranna happily focused on breakfast. She invited the small Hills to join her and enjoyed the resulting scramble onto stools and onto odd bits of firelog that the Hills gathered about the table. She was touched that they had left the best chair for her.

Then she found that her sense of mortification over not having grasped what had been planned to happen at the Towers, had been waiting to focus her attention on another mistake. She really must get to grips; she was only 6,575 after all.

Largest small Hill coughed in a polite way and said, 'Dear Madam Librarian Saranna; I'm afraid that Fairbairn says that Allis is a donkey, not a mule. He thinks she will be having a baby donkey soon.' (Giggles from smaller Hills.)

Saranna took a very deep breath while she tried to think what to say and how to shake her brain into better order after her journey and the complete change of almost everything in her life. Little Hill faces displayed anxiety as she sat with half a scone raised in her hand, dripping butter. Then she opened her mouth, and gave forth - laughter. Small Hills in unison added more of the same. Fairbairn appeared from the farmyard and joined in; Allis added ladylike brays to the cacophony.

Littlest Hill closed the session with the remark; 'Liberarians is fun!'

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill was biting his tongue. The Librarian had been sitting over those buttered scones for hours and hours. The sun had travelled the sky just as the Hobbit had feared at Rivendell. Hmmm. The Librarian was from those parts - maybe they just took an age in that first and last Homely House, an age to do anything at all?

Then Hill hit his head, and not for the first time that day, and ran into apologize to Saranna.

'I am so sorry. One thing drives out another. And I'd just come from the backroom meeting and needed a cup of mead to catch my breath and I altogether forget to tell you that someone sent to pay off the Mirkwood Elves and clear out the blue lighting. The towers are not exactly clean, but they are empty of previous occupants and ready for the Librarian and her manuscripts. Please don't tell the wizard I forgot to tell you!'

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill paused, and then resumed. 'To be quite honest, Saranna, it is a very good you turned up. We need a Librarian in these parts. Donkey, mules, and asses all sound different, but the picture in my mind is one and the same, if you take my meaning. And I was thinking on what it is that pulled your cart and got so confused that I forgot about what we were actually meant to be doing. Once again, apologies. But maybe you might clarify what creature exactly it is that is now in our stables?'

[Saranna]

Saranna replied, 'It's a donkey called Allis, and apparently she's making a new donkey for us. This will be very helpful in terms of getting: aged scholars of whatever races; boxes; supplies of food; books; scrolls; and cleaning equipment up to the towers. I had planned to ride up the hill this afternoon, but Allis won't be able to work until she's had her foal and is recovered. Maybe we should look to gradually increase the donkey herd? And recruit some donkey experts to care for them? Although I feel we should, just now, prioritise the cleaning, furnishing and arranging of what is still not yet a library, think of how useful such a herd would be - Fairbairns and others would be glad of the handy supply of fertiliser for their farming.'

She felt Hill was starting to look a little bewildered and wished she could learn how not to have that effect on people. 'Have some more tea,' she suggested, 'And let us focus on the immediate need and the tasks that implies. Cleaning- with brooms and dustpans and brushes. Do we have these things? Chairs and tables, and a desk for the librarian. Shelves for books. Chests of good wood, such as sandalwood to preserve the scrolls. Pens and ink and parchment or paper to write on. I believe I shall set off now to the tower and begin with some sweeping.'
While Hill looked several degrees more bewildered, Saranna opened a cupboard, roottled about in it until she found a bucket, a broom, a pan and a handbrush, gathered them to her, said 'Please feel free, Hill, to come and help or to send any other willing workers you may know of. The foundation of Lore and Learning is a tidy library.'

She gave a cheery wave and vanished through the door to the front path before Hill had a moment to respond, or to proffer the cup of tea he had dutifully poured for her.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill found a spare cup of tea in his hand, so sat down to drink it and think things out a bit. He was feeling a tad frazzled and hoped some of the little Hills would be up at the tower to help Saranna on the cleaning - otherwise, Hill knew his duty as a host and was ready to pick up a mop.

Meanwhile, there was this cup of tea and the mule that is really donkey, but not a donkey, yet nevertheless the donkey. While it looked like one donkey, it was two donkeys. 'Seems like eggs is eggs to me' mused Hill, pondering the scramble.

With the eye of the mind Hill gazed in awe upon the mysterious dynamic, the mad pattern in time that is the making. And he knew in his heart that this was a very good cup of tea indeed! The very heart of the mystery did still and always would escape the roving eye of the Undertowers watch, and that was as it should be.

[Saranna]

Saranna was relieved to find that 6,575 years were not sufficent to make her feel at all tired after walking in a dignified manner to the top of the hill; and that she did not once drop the bucket or the mop.
The door of the Tower stood open wide to the air, currently blowing freshness from the Sea. Saranna carried the tools of her second trade - Cleaner of the Tower - through the door and was delighted to discover that there were also windows open to the day, and to see a number of larger Small Hills cavorting about the ground level of the Tower and showing a tendency to tumble in the dust.
'Attention!' she cried, and they all leapt up and stood in a row, grinning at her. 'It's time to stop trying to clean the floor with your clothing, dear Hills, and to learn the first job of Assistant Librarians - cleaning the library. If you do it well, we shall engage a dwarf or two to make each of you an 'Assistant Librarian' badge, with a picture of the Towers engraved on each.' 'Hooray,' cheered the Hills.
There were four Hills and four implements, which was pleasing. Tallest small Hill had custody of the broom, next Hill the bucket, and the two smallest received the handbrush and dustpan. The work fell into a rhythm at once; broom, handbrush, pan, bucket, then a swift trip to the large container, to the left around the outside of the Tower and tastefully concealed behind a low wall, that collected the dust. Saranna felt she must find out where the sweepings went after that - but not today.
Leaving the workers at their tasks, Saranna at last took the opportunity to walk about the ground floor of the tower, and dream - well, plan. And think: shelves, tables, chairs, a desk, cupboards, chests - she could see them all.
The Hills surged back into the Tower and lined up again. Saranna had discovered a Useful Cupboard and the Hills took delight in arranging the implements therein.
'I believe we should label this cupboard too, dear Hills. - Private; Custodians only.'
Smallest of the present Hills asked, 'Custard?' So it was amid laughter that the hardworking team set off down the hill to see what @Hill and the even smaller Hills had been doing.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Having pondered the mysteries of one mule that was really two donkeys, Hill fell asleep. Hill was dreaming of his book. In waking life, Hill believed himself bold in his colour choice. 'Mine will be the Lilac Book of the Westmarch', he would say to himself, 'and all will perceive the shade of blue and despair!' But in his sleep Hill's true desires revealed themselves, and his book was not one colour but multi-coloured, a cover that looked just like one of the drawings of the Dwarf. It was a good dream, but Hill would awake all too soon, and when awake Hill just failed to get art.

[Saranna]

With a clattering of many small-to-medium Hill feet, the Library workers burst into the room. @Hill woke with a startled cry, and reached for the nearest weapon, which turned out to be the milk-jug. 'Who are you?' he cried, even as he recognised his small ones and the Librarian.
Saranna gently relieved him of the rather nice jug, possibly a Fairbairn family heirloom, and and restored it to the table. Four chattering voices competed to explain in detail everythiing Hill did not necessarily need to know about the First Workday in the library. Saranna went to put the kettle on to brew a further pot of tea, not forgetting a little mead to freshen it.
When she returned with the teapot, Hill was looking deeply confused; 'Badges? Dwarves? Rubbish heaps?' Saranna poured the tea, and assured him that he need not concern himself with these matters today.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

'Badgers? I was having my recurring dream where I am taken prisoner by a family of Badgers. Once again, in my dream I escaped. For time beyond measure I wandered once again that endless maze of interconnected branching tunnels and chambers, and now I have opened another door. A sett not for the ears of little Hills, and the Elves may consult their archives. But let me quickly write it down.' Hill looked round for the dream-notebook, ink, and feather, saw them not, closed his eyes to remember where he had put them, and fell asleep again.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill woke properly, with a proper cup of tea. Habitually, an inner smile arose as reflex to the phrase, for back in the day the anarchist followers of Proudhon drank only herbal-tea because they were all convinced that proper-tea is theft. Wisely, Hill kept the joke to himself, told off the little Hills to go do something useful outside and turned to the new Librarian.

'Saranna, please don't think I am being hasty or anything. But when can I start to use the new library?'

Hill had a possibly naive mental image of an Elf-tower Library in which little Hills and non-reading Lorists were forbidden entrance at the door, while inside was a Hall of Fire with shelves filled with books all around and peace and quiet, enforced by a stern-eyed Elvish Librarian.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Right, Saranna, this donkey. Alice, you said? We put her out in a fenced field so she can eat the grass. Donkeys eat grass, yes? I have read of donkeys that eat thistles, and there are not so many thistles in that field, so I was worrying. I mean, given the condition of Alice, should she get special food? Please let me know because I like to have these things written down nice and orderly or I tend to get the stocks and provisions in a mess. Thank you very much!

[Saranna]

[OOC] I wrote a whole long post while you were writing about Alliss. And it's now vanished as someone thought I might want to change it in view of the Alliss post. How do I get it back???

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Clutching a new cup of tea. Hill entered the Tower and found the Librarian hunched over a rounded stone, jet black with mysterious depths that glowed red as her hands moved over the surface and then spluttered back into black voidness. Hill understood little Elvish and spoke less, but was fairly sure that the Librarian was softly cursing.

'Hum, Saranna, there be no point asking these questions here. As you know, the plan was to pretend to be in the 3rd Age, and then from the western tower we might have managed a hotline to all and sundry on the other side - the Fairy, the Duck, the whole admin posse, official and unofficial, all 7 of them. But after you showed up and Undertowers had a real Elvish librarian we came clean about the times we are living in. Gotta take the rough with the smooth - there is nobody out there to hear you scream. That is good, in some ways, and bad in others. But the long and the short of it is that there aint no point crying over a lost post. But you can always request a new cue.'

Thinking that the librarian needed diversion from a Stone that was not going to work in a million years, Hill gave her the cup of tea, which was a herbal beverage (rosehip, or some such foulness).

'It is not proper-tea, Saranna, because most of the Hobbit anarchist brigades of Undertowers believe that proper-tea is theft.'

[Saranna]

It's a shame that post has gone as it was a full and sometimes witty answer to the question of when you could start using the library. It was wonderful and would have cheered you enormously. Now I wish I'd just said, 'Next Tuesday.'

[Get back into CHARACTER}

'Hey, Hill!' cried Saranna, 'How about opening the library to scholars, users, and any readers at all really, with small Hills to act as guides and helpers and teamakers (They will do this happily if we can carry out my promise to them {yes, sorry, I haven't told you this even though I did} to acquire for them each a badge of shiny metal labelled LIBRARY ASSISTANT.) They will have sole charge of the broom cupboard and a small desk near the main door where one will always be in attanedance to help incomers and deliveries. All Lore and Learning depends on good support staff. How does that sound?'

[Saranna]

Half-way to the stairs to the first floor of the Tower (In search of a good room for the LIBRARIAN'S OFFICE) Saranna stopped and turned back.

'Hill - you must be having some very strange dreams - not putting too much mead in your tea, I hope.
I have never ever moaned at a black stone, or indeed at anything else except the sight of a damaged Tome or Scroll.

BTW, Allis need some hay to eat and straw to lie on, just grass is no good. Does she have a warm stable?'

Then she hurried upstairs.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Hill spoke the following monologue before noticing that the Librarian had hurried upstairs, without drinking either her tea or her mead. So he wrote it out nice and clear on a piece of paper that he absentmindedly removed from a large book sitting on the table, one side of which was blank (the other was filled with strange symbols that meant nothing to Hill). Then he pinned the note on the door and went out to look for some more Stones to add to the pile in the garden.

Saranna, I have had strange dreams of late, and on occasion have had trouble distinguishing one dream from another. But the cursing must be from the little Hills at my end. They have a terrible habit of parotting back my curse words. Now, to serious business. Well, firstly, the donkey has plenty of hay to eat and straw to lie on, and a warm stable, all as nice as Christmas really. But I must say I am a bit taken aback by your library plans! Call me old-fashioned, but I thought the point of a library was to protect the books and the silence from people and noise? You seem to have some fashionable nonsense in your head about making a library serve the people. That is not what we want at all! You cannot just go allowing little Hills into a Library! They will make noise. Constant noise. All the time. I know this, Saranna. Why do you think I want a Library?!?

I do wish you all the best looking for Bugs in your Stone. But when you are done, and hopefully I have read the lost post, maybe we should talk about door-policy for the tower Library?

[Saranna]

*Sigh* - dear @Hill, you and other users will be able to access the 90% of the spaces of the tower that will never see a crowd or hear a noise. The entrance area is a buffer zone and from what I have seen of the Small Hills they will understand their role is not to dash up and down the Double Helix Staircases in those elegant towers, but to guide and help. Responsibility is good for small anyones or anythings. And I will be in charge of them - trust me. This is what librarians are for. Should any little Hill forget to do their duty as described by THE LIBRARIAN I will confiscate their badge and transfer them to permanent mucking-out duty at Aliss's stable.

I AM THE LIBRARIAN: FEAR ME.

PS on that note, Hill, I see you have become the first library user to handle a book in the Library Towers, but sadly to handle it in such a way as to leave me seriously considering making you the first user to be banned. I left no book sitting on the table, having never yet had an oportunity to open any boxes of books (I shall spend tomorrow doing that.) But unless what you describe in your note is in fact another nightmare (is there something nasty in the mead?) then you have WANTONLY DAMAGED A BOOK. Words would fail me if I did not like using words so much and at such great length. There will be a reckoning. Touch nothing until we have discussed this, please. Especially until you have explained why you desire to use the library if the markings on the pages of books are meaningless to you. Do let me help.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Well there you go, Saranna. One of the little Hills must have taken the book out of a box and left it on the table. And I don't see what you are so fussed about. You can sow the page back if you want. I only used the side without the squiggles.

But to be honest with you, Saranna, I think you have things a bit upside-down. All the little Hills can make squiggles that make no sense. That whole book is just filled with nonsensical squiggles. It has no point. I do hope not all of your books are going to be like that one.

As for your question about why I desire to use the library? Well, I thought I had explained. I wish for some PEACE AND QUIET so I can finish my book. And let me explain before you ask, my book will not be filled with unintelligble squiggles but letters that spell proper words. My book will make sense. And it will have a truly lovely cover, though I have not quite decided on the colour.

So we are agreed then, no little Hills in the Library?

Hill looked around for an Elvish sword he could borrow, but spotting none settled for an Elvish mop.

[Saranna]

No. I need my little Hills - at my age I need helpers. I think the solution might well be that, like myself, as Librarian, you, as First Reader, should have your own elegant and peaceful study on one of the higher floors of one of the towers. Nothing wrong with the one above my lovely room (I am working in it today) in what I have come to call the First Tower since we have opened it first. (I fear I can't recall whether the towers had indivdual names in Elven times.) With an Elvish mop you could easily keep it clean yoursef, and since the staircases running up (and down) through the towers are double Helix we can use one side each and never disturb each other. :)
Incidentally I see that the volume you - er - acidentally and quite uncriminally damaged was in Dwarvish, a nororiously hard alphabet to master. Once you find Tomes and Scrolls in the languages you can read, you won't have to worry about what the marks, written or printed, mean. I will ensure that you have plenty of writing paper and writing implements in your room so that you can write notes ro whomever you wish without any further vandalism - sorry, I meant accidents.
So - see you in the Library, being quiet and at peace Any little Hills who do perchance wander by mistake into the quiet places of the library should be referred to me. Now I must get on with mending that book, and emptying some boxes. I can see there are useful pieces of furniture left behind that we can employ. Carefully at first due to their great age, but being Elvish I am sure they will be strong.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Those squiggles are Dwarvish? Well, I suppose that makes sense in some dark and horrible way. OK. Sorry about that. I will help you put the page back, if you wish.

On the Elf-towers. There are 3, of which only the tallest and most western has a name - Elostirion. We can invent names for the other two if needed. What I suggest is that you take Elostirion for the Library, I take a second tower for my PEACE & QUIET writing needs, and I was thinking that we could allow tourists to climb the third tower for a small fee. How does that sound?

On the little Hills. In theory, if the Library is another tower than wherever I am, you can have as many little Hills as you want for as long as you want - in fact, the more and the longer the better. But just as you have rules with your books so there are rules with my Hills.

RULES
1. Breakages to be paid for. Dangerous work should be done by Huorns. Breakage without payment will result in blood feud.
2. You can employ any little Hills in the Library whenever you want except when they are needed for: (a) morning cow milking, (b) pasturing the goats, (c) serving as tourist guides when the season resumes.
3. You can teach them their letters, and even Dwarvish squiggles and other foreign stuff, but I will not have my little Hills putting on airs. Any sign that they think they are superior beings because they can say Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo in the right Elvish accent and they are back to feudal conditions with the Huorns in the kitchens again.

What do you say?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

No. I need my little Hills - at my age I need helpers... With an Elvish mop you could easily keep it clean yoursef, and since the staircases running up (and down) through the towers are double Helix we can use one side each and never disturb each other. :)

Saranna, on further consideration of what you have to say I would like to qualify the first condition on the little Hills - the Librarian is exempt from all and any blood feuds. Saranna, you are now family to us here in Undertowers, even though you are an Elf and a foreign Elf to boot. So breakages just generate the usual accusations and irritations. I do not say this to you lightly Saranna, and may I underline that our friendship for this last decade is not why I say to you to take the little Hills and boss them about as if they were your own slave labour pool. No. We at Undertowers open our heart to you because you may possibly have advanced the great Undertowers quest, making two astounding advances within the last year! The quest, of course, is to picture the design of these towers. We discovered some months ago that at the very top of the staircase it may be necessary to employ a ladder. Nobody before has ever suggested two spiral staircases. You have blown away my architectural sketches.

Honestly, that double Helix staircase design might explain a lot.

Take all the little Hills you want. There are always more to hand and under foot. We exempt our Librarian from all blood feuds, and that is really because we love you.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, on practical matters. The picture from the library is taken from what is at the moment one of my desks, with other windows looking onto the river. You are more than welcome to swap towers, for naturally I would dearly trade all these books and views for the sea view that may be enjoyed from the high chamber of Elostirion. Your call, just let me know before I settle in.

[Saranna]

[OOC]Another post seems missing - one I did yesterday with Saranna musing, as she does. Am I not posting posts properly? I am weary and out of sorts today, fine elf I am! Please excuse shortness of message below.

[IC] That's a kind offer, I would love that room with books, or those books in my chosen room but can we not both have a sea view too? In fact sea and land, or are all the windows looking west?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

[OOC] Try copying all and saving before posting; also, make sure you are signed in on 'remember me'. Also, look out for plaza-fairies on vengance missions, gollum spots, goblin saboteurs, and so on.

On towers, rooms, and views. I am afraid that the sea can only be seen from Elostirion, and I am fairly certain only from a high chamber in Elostirion. But remember, these are Elvish towers, with Elvish windows - so the views can be pretty much as you choose (as in my desk view, which owes much to Henry VI, one of England's otherwise least impressive kings).

So a choice must be made! Which tower to house the Library? Please let me know as I am by now very behind on my book. In fact, I am so concerned about my lack of writing that I have not thought about the colour of the cover for several days now! So I need to settle in one of the towers. Please let me know which one. Thank you!

[Saranna]

Please settle yourself at once into the highest chamber of Elostirion! I will continue with the sorting and arrangement of books ready for the opening of the more general library far below.
A consignment of writing paper, inks and pens has arrived this morning and I will arrange for some sturdy folk of Fairbairn descent to carry them up to your level - they can then come down the stairs at once and leave you to your writing.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Wow! I am a bit overwhelmed. Never dreamed of seeing that high chamber, never mind settling into it.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

I might have to take five to compose myself. Thank you very much @Saranna

[Chrysophylax Dives]

But the first thing I will do when I come back to myself is ask the Dwarf to set up a pulley system.

O wait! I forgot that the Dwarf returned to the far north with all the Undertowers tea ingredients and pulley knowhow.

Maybe that book with the Dwarvish squiggles - or another like it - explains how to set up a pulley system? Saranna, can you read Dwarvish squiggles?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, we have some breathing space on the Dwarvish squiggles. After seeking proper advice, I am going to remain in my office in the other tower until May. I definitely, absolutely, totally wish to have a chair and desk in the high chamber of Elostirion. But I have been told that I should wait until May before attempting to look on the view through the window. And to work in the chamber with the curtain always drawn seems a bit silly. In the meanwhile, good luck with getting the Library functioning in the chambers below - and just let me know if you need a hand and I will send over some more little Hills.

[Saranna]

Well I am glad you are so pleased, Hill! I'm sure we will both spend productive days in our respective rooms engrossed in making and/or organising/reading books and scrolls. I am currently a little dusty to say the least, and shall have to think about aprons, dusters, feather dusters and possible polish. Perhaps one small window might be now and then opened to allow the shaking out of said dusters? I will think on that.
Meanwhile I am very happy to be lifting these books out of their dark boxes and setting them upon shelves at last.
I fear that I know very few words of Dwarvish - they are as we know a reclusive though stalwart people. Are not some of the hobbits sturdy enough to start work on that? Once in operation the pulley system will be another on the list of things thet VERY SMALL HILLS must not touch at all! I wish I could show you a picture of the library I knew long ago in Rivendell but I am not sure how to achieve that - another matter to think on.
I hope your stationery consignment has arrived safely. Do you know how Allis is getting on? Greetings from Saranna.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, Allis is eating a lot. A lot. But so far only one donkey - or is she a mule, I'm so sorry, I get confused on these details. Maybe a mule is precisely what Allis cannot be, possibly? We need some dictionaries, and I still don't see much of a functioning library! No use just playing with the little Hills, Saranna. One has to take them in hand and set them clear instructions. Otherwise they just wander off into aimless none-working states of being.

But I'm reporting in today on my office. Seems I got it wrong when I talked with the Wāt-Fairy the other day. The high chamber of Elostirion cannot be a private office, much as I lust after the prospect. I'll keep on in the second tower.

Have to say I am a tad startled by the revelation from the Wāt-Fairy. Not only must the high chamber of the western tower remain public, but public really means public - we are charged with keeping the tower open and the staircase dusted and helping all and sundry who wish to climb the stairs.

The only condition on anyone doing so is that they must climb the stairs alone and enter an empty high chamber, then look on the view out the window only side by side with another.

[Saranna]

Mules can't have babies, they are sterile like most cross-species animals. [Note to self - aquire zoology/farming tomes asap.]

Sorry to hear about the High Chamber but not truly surprised. I was not at work yesterday but today have laid out the broad areas of what books/scrolls will go where in the library. I will be setting the biggest little Hills to arranging the first categories in the general access libraray on the ground floor tomorrow. I find that they always do as I ask, are they in the habit of misbehaving when you set them tasks? If so I will HAVE A WORD.

I guessed there would be more dusting to do .............

[Chrysophylax Dives]

I find that they always do as I ask, are they in the habit of misbehaving when you set them tasks? If so I will HAVE A WORD.

Well, you are kind of putting your finger on the problem there, Saranna. But having A WORD is precisely what will not help. Or so it seems. The problem of the little Hills is overweaning literalism - they will do exactly as instructed AND NOT MORE. Once they have done exactly what you have told them they will wander off. So long as you have them pretty much always under EYE it is OK. But what would be appreciated is if you were able to instill in the little Hills some very basic SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY. Even just on the level of tidying up after them, without someone else having to explicitly ask it. The asking is irksome, you see.

[Saranna]

Oh I do see, and my training in Librarianness was focused mostly on young persons, from smallest to largest of that ilk. I'm sure you realise that the stern librarian is not a mere stereotype! They can be found everywhere, from Dwarvish Delvings to Elvish Dells.

RESPONSIBILITY is our watchword.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, I must say I have seen some improvement in the little Hill's work ethic since you turned up. Yesterday they actually cleared the table without being asked!

Whatever you are doing is working - don't stop! And thank you.

[Arnyn]

A tall Gondorian arrived in front of the Tower's entrance. Rather unsure of Adamantian procedures, and indeed of the expectations set forth by the Undertowers Management, she took a deep breath as she assessed the building. Braying reached her ears - was there a donkey here? With a light frown, Arnyn scratched the back of her neck as she assessed the cart attached to her horse. She had been sent here with a dsupply of books, supposedly for a new Library in Undertowers, the Shire. However, she'd received so little instruction, she had no idea of whether she was even expected by anyone. Or whether she would simply and unequivocally be sent back on her way!

Well. There was nothing to be done for it. She approached the entrance and knocked upon the door, unwilling to simply barge in. "Hello?"

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Arnyn, this thread is really for important LIBRARY business. Unfortunately, our Librarian does not have time to attend to all and sundry, and so your KNOCK has been redirected here.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna? Did you not survive the visit of the tall stranger who knocked on the door of Elostirion? O how terrible that would be - the very first Adamanta Chubb Librarian of Undertowers murdered in cold blood inside the Library tower! Actually, Saranna, that would be quite romantic as an origin legend of the Library, if you would be up for donating the story. And the god-moding charge only adds spice, a hint of heresy. Still, it really is not a great time for travel in the wide, bad regions of the plaza - the folk out there are hungry. And you know as well as I do that a good librarian - I mean, a really good one - is hard to find. So I do very much hope you are alive.

If so, any chance of an Elvish mark or two? A post, in the common tongue.

[Saranna]

@Chrysophylax Dives I am indeed alive, but after a strange experience. After the embarassement of my failure to accord the necessary courtesy to our noble visitor, I found myself unable to speak. Then I bowed my head in token of apology and respect, and turned to move toward the tower. At this point everything around me seemed to spin. There was a sudden darkness. I had a sense of being enclosed in that darkness over a long period of time, but then I came to myself again and found that I was in the ground floor lobby of the library within Elostirion. It was filled with beings of all kinds, elf and dwarf, hobbit and other mortals, and I thought there was a wizard just slipping though the door and away!
I saw that all these visitors were reading. Dwarves were complaining that many of the books and scrolls of the genealogy of dwarven families were inaccurate. Elves were murmuring together in groups about the beauteous illustrations of some tomes from Old Inladris.
Then a noise of small feet served to waken me further; I turned and saw some small Hills approaching, rather fast for decorum but I was very pleased to see them. 'Madam Librarian, Miss,' they clamoured (Dwarves tutted). The Hills seemed to have grown a little taller, but how? 'Where have you been all these weeks?' several of them asked at once. I could not answer that, but asked after the cart, the horse and books that had all been out in the rain, just moments ago as far as I knew. But the Hills said that they had sorted all that out long ago, the horse was in the stable and very comfortable, the books were dried and shelved, and the cart was upended against the rear wall of the tower. 'Would you like a cup of tea?' they chorused. I said a most heartfelt, 'Yes please!' But where have I been?

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, just popping my head in here. Lots to sort out, now I am back in my old name again. It sounds like you have FINALLY entered the LIBRARY! Well done!

I will leave you to it with the books and Elves and Dwarves and little Hills. I am afraid you may have the last on your hands full time from now on. I'll explain the situation so far as I can make it out on another post - don't want to disturb your readers more than I absolutely have to!

Chrys. Dives

[Saranna]

@Chrysophylax Dives Thank you most sincerely, great dragon, for your explanatory message. Following a rather strange experience of time-loss and of a removal - apparently - through the walls of Elostirion into the library, plus the complete disappearance of Hill, I was deeply in need of reasurance and explanation. I am pleased for Hill's new happiness, but do wonder if he will now ever write the book he used to speak of, or even decide what colour its cover should be. The little Hills are a blessing to me, such hard workers and helpers; the Library is beautifully run now that they reside here with me. They seem very pleased with their dormitory on the third floor. I have hopes that they will grow into first-class librarians themselves.

yours most respectfully

Saranna

[Chrysophylax Dives]

@Saranna, I am so relieved and happy! I am sure the little Hills will be too. Honestly, their father was about the worst role model one could imagine, so I think you can hardly go wrong with them. As for Hill's so-called 'book' - I am sorry to tell you that there is no book by Hill. He dreamed of hatching his own dragon's egg, is all, and 'book' was his metaphor. No, Hill never wrote anything beyond I.O.U. notes and putting his signature on admin-police records.

There is a Dragon's Egg - a 'book with an artsy coloured cover', if you will. It is presently in the process of hatching. But it is mine. Honestly, the very idea of Hill hatching his own dragon's egg is absurd. It is not like huorn-breeding, you know. Takes the love and patience of a gardener, and I am afraid Hill - unlike Tree - was always hasty. He took short cuts! I mean, just look at the little Hills - your problem now. Best of luck. I will be around if you need help but, with regard to the little Hills, may I suggest that you call on the admins for babysitting and other childcare duties? I have no doubt they would be supremely good at all that kind of stuff.

But in general, Saranna, please do not worry about Undertowers. At least until the admins return and arrest me, we are all good here so far as I can see.

Lots of love,
Chrys. Dives

[Saranna]

@Chrysophylax Dives I am most excited to think of the new dragon hatching; Undertowers will be bursting with new life: Allis the donkey's foal is now almost as big as she, and Fairbarn has taken to muttering from time to time, as how that there horse as brung the books in the cart, does look to him to be expectant. The only faint alarm all this brings to mind, is that I believe dragons have huge appetites and may not be given to pausing and asking which beings might be eaten. I will search in the Dragonlore sections of the Library for advice on how to facilitate pleasant relationships between dragons and other beings. The littlest Hills will enjoy the pictures in the tomes, and I can read some of the less terrifying tales to them all. Splendid!