I Have Never...

[Pele Alarion]

I live on the 4th floor, have also lived on the 8th for a bit while studying at uni. I have never fed an elephant.

I could open a shop on the second level, southeast, and probably not much to do with the direction. Unless it would be a shop for selling maps and such. If you had to take residence in one of the towers mentioned in LOTR, which one would it be?

[Drífa]

I once saw an elephant as a child at a fair, but that could have been a dream. I have never been fly-fishing.

I was thinking more about the sun's direction in the White City. Map-making would be interesting.

I am undecided between Orthanc and one of the three White Towers near the sea. The one has the Treegarth of Orthanc—with many different types of trees growing, I would imagine. That in itself would be interesting. And the tower has a rooftop where I could grow food. Yet, it is still so dark and grand, reminding me of a mountain home. One of the White Towers, which looks upon the water, would be interesting because I have never lived near a large body of water. However, I lived beside a running creek for 17 years and had never gotten used to its sound. But I would try the sea sound if the abode was accessible for the offering

So, hobbit feet or elf feet. Which would you prefer at the end of your leg, and why not the other?

[Pele Alarion]

Me too. It's been a very long time since I did any fishing at all. I have never been hunting.

Maybe elf feet. They are light and swift, and might be more handy when doing those long rogainings over all sorts of terrain. Like... walking over snow! Who knows... perhaps it is possible to walk over marshes too. Don't think hobbit feet would match up to it. Which means of transport available in Middle-Earth would you rather choose and for what reason?

[Aranadhel]

Yes, I've hunted before. Can be a treat if you see what you're suppose to see or be shocked if it wasn't something you'd wanted to see. I have never eaten pork.

Elven horse from Valinor, of course! Dying to try riding a horse without a saddle lol! Although I have to brush up on my Sindarin first so horsie would understand me hehehee.

If you could choose between being a Sindarin, Vanyarin or Noldor elf which tribe would you choose and why?

[Drífa]

I have eaten pork. Not so much anymore. I have never driven a car with the steering wheel on the right-hand side.

I have always thought that Elu Thingol was a prig. But as a descendant living in Mirkwood, I am tempted and might enjoy being of the Sindar clan. I find the Noldor too intense. Now, the Vanyar seem laid-back, living in paradise on the plains and in the forest—with a poem upon their tongues, a song upon their lips, and long flowing hair. I think they would be my choice.

Somebody may have asked before, but I will ask again: What other race would you have chosen to be skin-changers, and what would the creature be?

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I. Might be too confusing. Haha... I have never owned a pet spider. *shivers*

I'd say Hobbits. They could turn into mice so they could disappear even more quicker when unwelcome folks show up. What food from any mentioned in LOTR/Sil/Hobbit is such that you would gladly eat it?

[Drífa]

No, I have never had a pet spider, either. But I must say, with the number of spiders harbouring in our house during the winter, one could assume that we have many pet spiders. I have never had any latte, hot or cold, or however they are made these days.

The meal from Faramir's refuge table sounds like something I could get into: to drink pale yellow wine, cool and fragrant, and eat bread and butter, and salted meats, and dried fruits, and good red cheese, with clean hands and clean knives and plates.

Which activity would you most like to excel in: ale crafting, pipe making, or honey cake baking?

[Pele Alarion]

*jumps in right away*

I don't think I have had any proper one either. I have never tried windsurfing.

Honey cakes! Though it would certainly take practice. I tried it once, and while it was delicious the presentation was not the best. If it was possible to elect one of the LOTR characters as the president for your country (or have him or her as a king/queen) whom would you choose and why?

[Drífa]

*hasn't left yet*
Merry Christmas, Pele!

I have never windsurfed. In all the years I lived and hiked in the forest, I never encountered a wild creature like a bear, wolf or mad sasquatch.

I would choose Sam Gamgee. What a novelty he is. He is such an honest politician (mayor). Do you agree that Bilbo had an attitude before he found the ring and that if he had kept it longer, he would have become another sneaky and deceitful Gollum?

[Pele Alarion]

I have met a badger, some deer that I have spooked searching for orienteering control points, a fox, and a moose's backside some distance away as it dashed across the path. I have never had manicure done by a professional.

Not sure about Bilbo's attitude, but who knows... if he kept the Ring for very long it might have wreaked havoc on him. Would you rather have Bill the Pony, Shadowfax, Gwaihir or Nazgul's fell beast provide you taxi services? For what reasons? And what do you think the requested payment would be?

[Drífa]

I have never had a manicure, either. And I need one!! You would be surprised by how brutal living in the Mountain City can be on one's hands. I have never been on a sailboat.

Shadowfax would probably not let me mount him, as we all know he is particular about who can ride him. Gandalf would have to be there, and, well, things would be too complicated. I would have to share the taxi!

With Gwaihir, I would have to dress accordingly. It is much colder the higher up you go. I would have to layer myself with unnecessary clothing and be stuck with it once I reached my destination. Besides, I wouldn't fancy carrying a dead rabbit or another small animal to give as a fee. And I can not afford gold collars.

The Nazgul's fell beast would most likely crash and kill us before I even got near my destination, as it would be distracted by trying to eat me as we flew. Plus the stink, phew!

I am pretty good at punctuality, having learned my lesson a few times in my youth. I always give myself plenty of time to get where I am going. Bill the Pony would be fine by me as a taxi, and I am sure a few apples, a kindly pat, as the fee would be all he'd need.

I often wonder if the Hobbits jimmied the lock of Bilbo's door to get inside for the auction. He gave Gandalf his keys when he rushed out without a hat to meet the dwarves. Do you think that was presumptuous of the Hobbits?

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I. And I have never been to a ballet lesson.

There might be a non-written story somewhere of a nimble-fingered Hobbit managing to snatch those keys from Gandalf when he was not looking... Or else, what a mischievous bunch! If ambitious climbers would be able to get into Middle Earth which mountains would you suggest for them to try climbing to challenge their skills?

[Drífa]

I have taken ballet and piano lessons many moons ago, but I have never had a horn (tuba, sax, trumpet, etc.) lesson.

I think I will have to suggest Caradhras. I think it would be quite a challenge.

On the third morning Caradhras rose before them, a mighty peak, tipped with snow like silver, but with sheer naked sides, dull red as if stained with blood.

It is a cooking festival. You are introducing a new dish to the crowds. What is your dish, and where does it originate from in Middle-earth?

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I. And I have never participated in a triathlon.

Layered honey cake - probably coming from the Shire somewhere. If you were Sauron's advisor what advice would you have given to save him from defeat?

[Drífa]

I have never participated in a triathlon. In my youth, I participated in track and field, with shot put and the relay race being my specialty. I have never been to a Rodeo with cowboys, cowgirls, and horses.

I would have told Sauron not to put all his hopes on water, fearing Nazgul. The outcome may have been totally different if they hadn't hesitated at the Ford.
Are you a house-dwelling Hobbit or a hole-dwelling Hobbit? Why?

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I, since it is not a thing in Latvia. I have never met the president of my country.

Probably a house-dwelling Hobbit, especially if the house has large windows to let the sun in. I love brightly lit homes. Which sort of garden mentioned in the Hobbit, LOTR or Silmarillion would you like to visit and for what reason?

[Drífa]

I have never met the Prime Minister of my country. I have never owned a pair of platform shoes.

I would visit Lórien, in Valinor, the home of Irmo and Estë, with its silver willows, flowers, and lakes. Willows are one of my two favourite trees (cedars being the other). One thing I miss, where I live now, is access to lakes. We have to travel for hours to get to one. When and where I grew up, lakes were easily accessible. You could walk to one. Lórien sounds heavenly.

Speaking of trees, is there a quote or mention of one in particular in Tolkien's works that you like best?

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I. Nor have I ever walked on proper high heels.

Maybe this one: "Many of these trees were my friends, creatures I had known from nut and acorn; many had voices of their own that are lost forever now..." Maybe in combination with this one since the former is quite sad, actually, considering the part I left out. "I thought all the trees were whispering to each other, passing news and plots along in an unintelligible language; and the branches swayed and groped without any wind. They do say the trees do actually move, and can surround strangers and hem them."

Which plant mentioned in the Tolkien's works would you like to grow in your garden, if it was possible?

[Drífa]

I have walked in proper high heels, but never in wooden shoes!

...If you meet a ranger (mild hobbit: dark, long-haired, has
wooden shoes!) known as Trotter, stick to him. You can trust
him. Old friend of mine: I have seen him, and told him to look
out for you. He knows a lot. He will guide you to Weathertop
and further if necessary. Push along! Yours
Gandalf .
HoME vol. 6

I would choose the Rose of Silpion (The Moonflower, Rose of Silver) to grow in my garden. I need more light in my garden as it only gets a few hours of sun a day. I would have a Moon garden! Surely light things up.

"Behold the Rose of Silpion", and that rose grew till the fruit of
Laurelin had been but little greater, and ten thousand crystal petals
were in that flower, and it was drenched in a fragrant dew like honey
and this dew was light.
HoME vol. 1

Which river, lake, or waterway in Middle-earth would you like to float down on a tour and in what would you transport yourself (canoe, raft, boat, etc)?

[Androthelm]

I've walked in wooden shoes, but I've never had a job where I needed to worry about appropriate footwear.

I think the Brandywine, starting in Lake Evendim and working down toward the coast, would be a really interesting tour of the remnants of Arnor. Plus Buckland doesn't seem like a bad stopover. I'm an on-the-record kayak hater, so I think it's a traditional canoe trip for me.

What site in Middle-earth, but which doesn't directly appear in the books, do you think about the most? What calls to you about it?

[Pele Alarion]

I have, when teaching and/or interpreting. Can't just get out there in sports shoes no matter how comfy. I have never attended a court hearing.

I am not sure about any which are not mentioned directly, but I can't help being attracted to the woods of Ithilien. I've been thinking that those would be so great for orienteering purposes... If you were to choose an inn in Middle Earth to visit which one would it be (named or perhaps unnamed)? And why so?

[Eamila Bolger]

I have attended a court hearing, unfortunately, in a case between the company I work for, and a client who didn't want to pay his bills. I've been to better places and hope not to have to go there anymore, because it felt rotten to have someone state you didn't do the job you promised to, when you know you did (and well). Fortunately the judge realized this as well and decided we were right and the client wasn't.
I have never broken any bone.

The movies made The Prancing Pony in Bree rather sinister and not like a great place to be, but I still believe I'd love to go there and see creatures from all over Middle Earth. Not 'just' hobbits in The Green Dragon or people in a local Inn in Gondor or Rohan.

Which Middle Earth characters would you pick as perfect grandparents?

[Eldrith]

I have broken the bone and even the joint in my left ring finger in several places. In a weird accident that left me without any bruises or pain except for that one finger.
I have never gone on a cruise!

Oh.. perfect grandparents.. I mean it would HAVE to be Sam and Rosie, wouldn't it???

Which animal on middle earth would you like to have as a pet?

[Drífa]

I have never gone on a cruise, either. I think the movie Titanic ruined that adventure for me. I have never been a bride.

Growing up, we always had a dog, which my father took care of, mostly. As an adult (I personally had no pets), I had my own kids, who attempted to have pets. I was once asked to babysit my son's dog and cat, and ended up doing so for five years. I also worked as a snake sitter for another son around the same time, for close to 15 years. And two guinea pigs (supposedly both male, not so), my son brought home, who squealed constantly and had six babies (which got adopted). I conclude that my sons were not ready to be pet owners at the time. Today, though, they have six cats between the two of them, and are responsible pet owners. I am petless, having realized after my extensive pet sitting that I am not a pet person—a true dwarven trait. But if I had to choose, I suppose it would be a free raven, primarily for company when walking or exploring the wilderness.

Which Tolkien character do you picture wearing a modern-day running shoe, and what brand would it be?

[Eamila Bolger]

I have been a bride, next year 20 years ago already. And still in love
I have never been driving in a truck (not even as a companion).

Well, Strider would be the best answer there, wouldn't it? But what kind of shoes... I think he wouldn't go fancy, but go for these new barefoot running shoes. As if you were running barefoot, but still with good protection of your feet. No Nikes or Adidas: just simple but effective.

If there was a Middle Age Theme Parc, which would be the ride you would go to first?

[Pele Alarion]

I haven't either. I have never been to an official ballroom dancing event.

Only if it has something to do with horseback riding. lol... I hate heights and all sorts of crazy carousels and such. What is some advice from LOTR that you have taken and applied into your daily living? Or at least say to others at an opportune time?

[Eldrith]

I have never been to an official ballroom dancing event, but I did get one semester of ballroom dancing in school. I was really, really bad at it, but I did enjoy it! Same with medieval dancing: Bad at it but love it!
@Pele Alarion You might love the Efteling Themepark though!

I know my answer here is almost a cliche, because it's been quoted so much but:

“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

Eowyn was done dirty in the movies with that stew scene! What would be a recipe you can imagine being prepared by her?

[Pele Alarion]

Hmmm. Maybe I would! I have never run in high heels.

Something with potatoes, pumpkins, carrots and beef would do just fine... Not sure if Rohirrim would eat sour cream with it though. What do you think? Which two LOTR characters would make the worst blind date couple and why?

[Eamila Bolger]

I have never run in high heels either! Never have I ever... been snow boarding.

The worst blind date couple... I think that would be Lobelia Sackville-Baggins with Faramir. Most likely she will find him 'cheap' and not important enough, whereas he would be too polite to be offended or even make sure she realizes how wonderful he is.

What would be the best place in Middle Earth for a cosy B&B?

[Eldrith]

I have never been snow boarding either! Never have I ever...NOT returned my shopping cart to the coral!!

I mean.. just by name alone "the Last Homely House" ! IF ents could be different types of trees that we know, which tree would you be if you were an Ent?

[Pele Alarion]

I usually take a basket, but I have never left a cart or a basket where it shouldn't be either. I have never yelled at a neighbour.

Hmm. Maybe an apple tree - lovely blossom in the hair and bringing delicious fruit after, once at it. If you could change one thing in LOTR, what would you change and why would you want to do that?

[Drífa]

I have yelled at a neighbour to warn him that his cat was attempting to escape through a hole in the screen of his patio door. Half the cat's body was out, the other half in, hahaha. I have never seen an iceburg.

That's an easy question for me. I would have liked to see more written about dwarf women, to understand what their lives were like. What animal's fur do you think lined the cloaks: rabbit, fox, mink, squirrel or other?

All were well furnished by Elrond with thick warm clothes, and they had jackets and cloaks lined with fur. TFoTR

[Pele Alarion]

Neither have I. And I have never done a proper alpine skiing.

Dunno. Fox, wolf, squirrel? Evil squirrels! If Dwarves were to attempt taming Balrog, how would they go about it?

[Aerlinn]

Hi Pele! I grew up near a big ski town and my heart misses alpine skiing dearly, though my feet and ankles are probably relieved to be far away from the possibility. I've always wanted to try but I have never been wind surfing.

The dwarves stumble upon a copy of Bree-land Kennel Club's Clicker Training Compendium: The Ultimate Resource for Dog Owners from Archet to the Prancing Pony. Problems arise when they discover that the only acceptable treat for the Balrog is dwarf feet. Oops. If the Fellowship had to participate in an Olympic team sport (they can recruit if they need more people), what sport gives them their best chance of winning a medal?

[Eldrith]

I have never been windsurfing either. The most adventurous thing I have ever done was going in the ocean in a canoe! Never have I ever been to any continent outside of Europe and America.

Ohh hmm... it must be a team sport of course... I am going to say wrestling! Hobbits may be small but they seem strong. For some reason I can absolutely see dwarves wrestle, and I presume as warriors of one kind or another Boromir, Legolas and Aragorn would have had some grappling training. Fencing would be another part. If you were a Hobbit, what would grow in your garden?

[Eamila Bolger]

This one's for me!

I have been outside Europe, to both Africa and Asia. But I wasn't in one of the Americas yet. Never have I ever driven on the other side of the road.

If I was... wait a minute ;-) Since I am a Hobbit, I would grow melons in my garden. And I would probably be better at it than I am in real life, where I terribly fail at it.
If dancing was a thing in Middle Earth, what kind of dance (f.e. line dance, ballroom dancing) would you expect with what race?

[Eldrith]

Oh I have never DRIVEN on the other side of the road, but I have been in a car that drove on the other side of the road. It's disconcerting! Never have I ever.. gone polar plunging. (nope. Just don't have the courage)

Oh I am sure dancing IS a thing in Middle Earth and I believe it would be different for all races. I think Rohirrim and Dwarves would share many dancing traits: inside halls, by the fires with lots of singing and stomping. I think Gondor would be more elegant, like a pavanne and the Shire would be joyfull country dances, like maypole dancing, and group dancing, with lots of people making merry!

If you lived in Minas Tirith, what level would you like to live on?

[Pele Alarion]

No, no, no... brrrrr! I'd freeze immediately probably. I have never done an army obstacle course/assault course.

Hmm. Sixth? Hopping along between the Houses of Healing and Ranger Headquarters? Though if it was RL me, I'd stick to lower levels and do something much more mundane for living. How would you get the fell beast to carry you without devouring you if it was the only transport to get to your destination?

[Aerlinn]

I have never done any kind of obstacle course, except perhaps in elementary school. It would be very cool (and humbling ) to try! I have never had a pet rodent.

Well, if Sauron only fed them "fell meats," perhaps a fell beast would appreciate a tastier meal? Several premium wagyu steaks, one of those thousand pound tuna, or a nice grass-fed...flock of...sheep. Dangled, as they say, like a carrot in front of a horse. I don't expect to win it over--I would just hope to be the least tasty option nearby. If you were a hobbit, what would you give me on your birthday?

[Eamila Bolger]

I have had three guinea pigs and a rabbit when I was younger, and we have two rabbits right now. I have never dared to touch or hold a tarantula (like in a zoo).

That's right, we give things away on our birthdays! I think, being a hobbit, I would give you a small flute, cut out of wood. To make music when you are on the road.
If you were an Elf, would you rather live in Rivendell or in Lorien and why?

[Aerlinn]

Ohhhhh the memory is a little vague but I think I've held a tarantula--it was a classroom visitor I think, ages ago. They also had snakes! I have never played a viola.

@Eamila Bolger I had to answer this because a small wooden flute would be the most perfect present for me! I have a bamboo flute collection but no true wood. I'd be so thrilled Anyways! As I can hardly ever bring myself to even change my Plaza icon the answer must be Rivendell. To be in the mountains with peaks towering around and waterfalls and a rushing river at the door. As well the music, the library (as imagined in my head) and the seemingly slow but steady stream of interesting visitors. If you could commission one piece from Celebrimbor, what would you request?

[Drífa]

I have never played the viola either. I have never ridden a mechanical bull.

If I could commission one piece from Celebrimbor, it would be the One Ring to Clean IT All!!!

One Ring to clean it all (every crack and cranny), One Ring to find the dirt (dustbunnies, spiderwebs, sand and mites), One Ring to bring them all, and in the dustbin bind them.

What character would you name your pet after and why?

[Merewyn]

I have also never ridden a mechanical bull, though it's on my list of things to try! I have never attended a playoff game for any professional sports team.

Well, I already have named two pets after characters. I once had a leopard gecko named Smaug that I adopted from a friend, though admittedly he had that name when I got him. And then my oldest dog Éomer (rest in peace, sweet old Boogie Bear) was named for the future King of Rohan, due to their similarly colored hair. I think for a future dog, it would depend on their breed and hair color, but for a girl I'd be picking either Éowyn or Morwen (because I love proud, stern, strong women and aspire to be one myself), but for a boy I'm thinking either Faramir or Samwise (because I love quiet strength, dutiful care, and strong hearts in male characters).

If you could magically learn more (i.e. expand the lore) about one character, who would it be and why?

[Eldrith]

I have never attended a playoff game for any professional sports team (Oh those prices! Not worth it for my limited sports enthusiasm), but I have attended some games of different sports, like college football or baseball. Never have I ever gotten so drunk that I didn't remember exactly what I was doing or what I had done afterward.

And I would definitely want to know more (a lot more) about Finduilas!!

If you were a Rohirrim, which animals (aside from horses) would likely be part of your home/ steading.

[Aerlinn]

I have also never gotten so drunk I didn't remember what I was doing or had done--only drunk enough to make exceptionally bad karaoke choices. I have never milked a cow.

I don't suppose there are alpacas in Middle-earth. Ducks (if impractical, chickens), goats for milk, two border collie-ish mutts, a handful of kittens and one grumpy old cat. And a hawk. And a human to wake up early and feed all these things. What additional character, story, or subject do you wish Tolkien had written a song or poem about?

[Merewyn]

I certainly have been that drunk before, more than once. My early 20's were...something. But I also have milked a cow! Though admittedly only once at a field trip demonstration and it did weird me out a bit as a kid.

Hmm. I think I would absolutely choose a Lay, just because those would be longer so I could get a little more lore out of it. And if I got to have a Lay about someone, I think I would pick Eol, or the Ringwraiths. I'd certainly like to know more about both, but considering we don't even have names for seven of nine Nazgul, at the very least their names and kingdoms/lands they ruled would be interesting.

If you had the choice between being one of these four, which would you choose?
A) A Halfling messenger for the Post Office.
B) A Galadhrim seamstress for Galadriel.
C) A Gondorian innkeeper in one of the major cities.
D) A Dwarven tinkerer in Erebor.

[Eamila Bolger]

I have milked a cow too, in Austria, although our daughter is a lot better at it. When we visit 'our' farm where we have been holiday guests for almost 15 years now, she always gets to milk while I am the one who uses the scraper to clean all the cow butts before milking, lol.
I have never made my own soda from a ginger bug, but I'd love to learn.

I would love to be a halflang messenger for the Post Office for sure! Travel around, bring news and happiness and get invited for tea and scones everywhere ;-)
If you were a Dwarven tinkerer, what would be your favorite thing to make?

[Pele Alarion]

I haven't either - does it taste good? I have never run into the snow in a bathing suit.

Hmmm. Maybe all sorts of intricate rings... What would be your favourite meal from those that are mentioned in Tolkien's works?

[Merewyn]

Oh I have 100% run into the snow both in a swim suit and unclothed (on a dare). Very cold, do not recommend. I have never been on a boat on the ocean.

Oh it has to be Bilbo's & Frodo's Birthday Feast, right? A full day of multiple meals and drinks from all the best cooks of the Shire?? C'mon! You're about to set sail on a journey at sea. Who would you rather captain your ship: Eärendil, Círdan, or Tar-Aldarion?

[Drífa]

I have been on a boat on the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans many years ago. What I remember is the waves and Captain Highliner. I have never worn tapshoes.

Eärendil had one goal, and I do not think there would have been much to distract him from it. I wouldn't enjoy being, as he attempted to reach this goal, dropped off somewhere and waiting for him to hopefully return.
Círdan was more of a master craftsman than a mariner. Likely, he wasn't into long journeys. And so, I would choose Tar-Aldarion. He was more of an explorer. It would be quite the journey, I believe, with him at the helm.
You are opening a Middle-earth fast food franchise. What are your three best-selling items on the menu? And who are the regulars?