DIE: Orodruin Obfuscation

[Moriel]

Welcome to DIE, Mordor's series of diced RPGs! DIE RPs are short and swift and will give everyone a chance to participate, regardless of RP skill level. There are no winners or losers here that's a lie, the winning team is chosen by arbitrary means; it’s all for fun. The dice will determine whether you live to fight again, get injured, wander off (and miss a turn- you may still RP that round, but will not receive a roll/add to your team effort), or DIE (mode of death up to you). Missing an update won't get you kicked out, but isn't it more fun if you're around for all the chaos?

*

The Story So Far: Ohhhh dear. Our resident volcano is not very happy today and is belching more smoke and ash and a fair amount of lava all over the place. Someone has come up wit the bright idea that throwing hobbits into the heart of the volcano will appease it (like virgins, but hairier). Where did the hobbits come from? No idea, but we've got them! Perhaps they escaped from On the Rocks, in which case there will be a very angry pubmistress later today. Minions from all corners have flocked to Orodruin to try and hurl a hobbit into the depths, but their efforts are impeded by a mass of lava snakes, disturbed and royally annoyed by the volcano's unrest.

*

TO SIGN UP:
Choose character(s) to RP (you may RP more than one character) out of the 3 factions

Pick between one and three characters from below (no more than one per faction) then post their descriptions using the appropriate posting colors.

Minions - All types of minions welcome, so long as you can climb up a volcano, hang on to a hobbit, and dodge a lava snake. Glory is yours if you appease Orodruin! But first you've got to catch a hobbit and throw it in, without dying in the process. You will post in #008000

Lava Snakes - Your lazy lie-in of a morning has been disturbed by the jumping and belching of the volcano, and really quite disruptive rivers of lava flowing through your living room! And now a pack of minions and some hairy little creatures are treading on your garden? Not a good day at all. You will post in #800000

Hobbits - Possibly a better day for you. If you can avoid being caught by a minion and thrown into the volcano, killed by a falling rock or a lava trail, or bitten by a snake, you might just stand a chance of not ending up on the menu at the pub! You will post in #0080FF

Moriel reserves the right to pop up and godmode you at any time should you do something interesting or/and disappointing enough to deserve it. BOLD BLACK will be the color for these posts, and updates

First post: Describe your characters and tell us which faction you represent. Then make up names for yourself. Describe yourself and your weapons or equipment, as accurately and with as much interesting detail as you can. Create a brief history if you’d like, convince us that you should be memorable in this battle!

The best post of each round (as determined by yours truly) will gain the advantage and be able to choose two rolls in the next round, and will only be affected by the most favorable.

After a few days of sign-ups (during which you may post as many times as you like, interacting with others in your faction), the first update will be made, explaining the dice rolls and giving choices for your actions. Even if you miss the first update, you may join in at any time.


Just remember, once the RPG starts, your fate will be decided by the dice. If the dice say you die, then your character must die. If you receive a death roll, you can rejoin immediately as another character (or a creative resurrection), but DIE you must.

Game will update every ~48 hours, or after everyone has posted, whichever comes first.
At the end of 7 rounds a winning team will be decided!

Rules

• Posts ~300 characters (3ish lines in text box) per character played
• Use the specific posting colors for your character(s)
• Open to all

Original thread idea, far back in the mists of countless days, borrowed from Remy of Rohan. Portions of OP appropriated from Roh.

[Almarëa Mordollwen]

Sssssssss, a lava snake

Sleep isss important. Which is why, when Sssssssss's slumber was suddenly interrupted by a shuddering, subterranean shaking, Sssssssss wasss not best pleased. Sssssssss strove to snuggle back down into their sheltered, toasty bed under the stone, but the shaking and shuddering did not ssstop. Sssomething must be causing it. The stones should stop shaking. Instead, the stones started to shift. This wasss unseemly, and startlingly displeasssing to Sssssssss. There were sounds outside, too, sounds of speaking, and scrambling, and people struggling. This too displeasssed Sssssssss.

The snake reluctantly uncurled, and slithered towards the surface of their home. Sstrangers disturbing the stones? Something had to be done. And although Sssssssss had no weapons, other than teeth and toxins and terrible taste in turns of phrase, the outsssiders should be scared. Very scared. For if there were ssstrangers strolling around, Sssssssss was the sssnake to scatter them ...

[Zôrzimril]

Blinky the Lava Snake

Blinky was tending his rock garden (a pile of rocks arranged to be a fun obstacle course for himself, if you will). He had amassed quite the variety in the time since he's escaped the clutches of that overbearing orc, Regdush. Life was much more peaceful now: before, he'd had to live mainly confined in that nasty orc's smelly pocket. Blinky had decided he'd had enough after nearly being devoured (twice!) by a buzzard and narrowly escaping drowning in a tar pit when Reg forced him to race. Yes, a quiet life on the slopes of Mount Doom was definitely preferable to all that. He loved his new rock garden, the ample supply of food for the hunting, and above all, the view of the lava from his doorstep. He had started collecting rocks on his journey to Mount Doom; his favorite stone was probably the little one that looked like a mouse. He liked to imagine chasing it and swallowing it whole.

He pushed the little mouse-shaped rock back into its usual place next to a large pitted boulder. Everything looked good. Blinky was about to retreat into his tiny cave for an afternoon snack of lizard legs when a series of Loud Noises caught his attention. He turned, eyes narrowed yet perpetually unblinking, toward the source of the sound. Had Regdush returned to drag him back into captivity? If so, the fiery-red lava snake was ready to fight with his fangs, a shot of poison or two, and a well-aimed rock (or several). He should've poisoned Regdush ages ago, he thought ruefully. And of course, he'd gotten quite good recently at hurling rocks about with his tail.

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot, a Hobbit

"Guh, hyuck, I'm in danger." Dodo said to himself. Nobody responded. He burped. He was feeling very fat, for ever since he had been dragged off to Mordor, they had been offering him more and more food. He could not resist, even after his belly had told him it was full. Food was just so good, and it came naturally to a hobbit to eat. But now, several days and several dozen pounds later, he realized that they had not been feeding him out of the kindness of their hearts, but because they had been preparing him to be a suitable sacrifice into a volcano. Perhaps they thought an infusion of fat would gel the magma together, or perhaps they just thought bigger sacrifices were better sacrifices. Either way, he was now a prime target for tossing into the lava. That was, of course, assuming they even got him up the mountain. It appeared that there were some very nasty lava snakes slithering around that could easily dispose of him before then. Well, at least he would die the way he had lived: with his belly stuffed to the bursting point with delicious eats.

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, a disgraced Lava Snake

Woe! Woe is Jormungandr, last of a long line of lava snake racers, disgraced in his last race, never to cross that sweet finish line. Woe! Woe is the lava snake who attempts slumber upon the craggy slopes of Orodruin and has his peace ruptured by spouts of lava and smoke and ash! Woe! Woe is the lava snake, nigh trampled to death underfoot by nasty, sourfooted minions shod in harsh iron that clanged and clanged like horrid helldrums. Woe!Woe to the serpent whose carefully placed designed and orchestrated rock garden has been torn asunder by the furry feet of hobbits, or was it hoppits? Jormungandr could never quite tell. Those tiny creatures so fat and succulent looking they had once been the driving motivation for Jormungandr's racing prowess. Woe! Woe! He must act now, fate has conceived once again to test him, to tear him from his habitat, his home his place of self. And for what? Woe! Jormungandr has naught but his wits, his fangs, and his speed to aid him. Woe!

[Gwai]

Gazorpazorp the Lava Snake

Zorp was living his best life after retiring from Lava Snake Racing recently. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. His "trainer" had been absolutely terrible at training, and had done nothing but give bad advice during the entire race, and as a result Zorp had fallen into the same tar pit three times. It had nothing to do with his chronic vertigo, of course. No, he blamed Glasha. He had left with his head held high (mainly to keep the tar from getting in his eyes), and Zorp had found a nice little hidey-hole in a lava rock field with only minimal lava and had moved in immediately, only slithering around in circles a handful of time. The belching smoke of the volcano did wonders to help with the vertigo.

Zorp had just finished his morning calisthenics (slithering in a circle outside his little cave) when a new river of lava began flowing right outside his new home. Zorp flicked his tail, annoyed. As much as he loved lava, this was excessive. He was just wondering if he should consider moving or just enjoy the extra heat, when footsteps and loud voices disturbed him. He hissed, and his tongue darted in and out of his mouth as he tasted the air. Minions! He knew their scent well. There was something else (someone else?) with them, an unfamiliar scent. He was glad he hadn't bitten anyone in a while, and had lots of venom stored up. He was annoyed enough to be in a "bite now apologize never" frame of mind. Just let these minions and whatever else try to step on him. He'd show them a thing or two, assuming he wasn't slithering in circles from the vertigo acting up.

[Silky Gooseness]

Rakhash plucked forlornly at his green outfit. It didn’t suit him at all. As a goblin, he was used to dressing in rag tags of leather, scraps of chain mail, and hanks of hair stolen from his enemies. Not this snazzy little number with “MoRDor FUnne RunNE” badly printed on the off side and then crossed out, only to be stencilled over with “HoPPIt SnackRifice Teem”, in equally bad print.

He had absolutely refused to wear the accompanying hat with the bells on.

At any rate the small goblin was armed with an array of kit.

Items:
A) net, for catching of the Hoppits
B) Rope, currently knotted into a lasso; see above
C) Climbing crampon
D) Lava Snake Treats - what Írimë had sworn was dried meat but looked suspiciously like rabbit droppings
E) Favourite Snuggly Blanket
F) Walking stick/spear

All of this was really weighing him down, but at least bulked Rakhash out somewhat.

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

Phoebe, the lava snake

Last night had been a heavy one. It was always a heavy one after a won race and even more so after a lost one. Phoebe was all coiled up, nice and cosy. Her tongue flicked out with every gentle snore and she slept with her purple eyes open. Strewn around her was the debris of a good snake night out; bits of mouse tail could be seen along with what looked like some shed skin. No doubt there would be some explaining to do to the team manager at some point but for now, blissful sleep.

The tip of Phoebe's tail started to twitch. Why was it getting so infernally warm in here? She drowsily lifted her golden head, trying to focus and let out an enraged (and hungover) hiss as a spark shot up right between her eyes. She immediately bunched together, tightening her muscles and ignoring the headache. A trickle of lava poked it's way under the rock door to her cave and as she watched it started to increase, and quicken, oozing its way across the threshold. In a feat of athleticism quite unmatched to her consumption of snake grog and mice last night, the lava snake darted for the tiny circle in the rock wall ambitiously known as the window. Outside she was confronted with more lava and also a bunch of fat, very hairy, jovial creatures trampling around the garden being chased by orcs and goblins alike. Reaching up with her head, she wavered slightly, drawn to the scent of new flesh which was on the air. Her pupils immediately reacted, as did the black swirl patterns traced on her golden skin, darkening as the snake instinct inside her awoke and her thoughts turned to biting and venom.

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Snarf the Snaga

Snarf had been born with a dream in his small, withered heart--that someday, he would cast off the bonds of serfdom and become a wholly free snaga. And not just a free snaga, a snaga of RENOWN, whose great and wicked deeds would be told of throughout the great land of Mordor! All would fear him and despair! Or something like that.

However, being quite small and twisted, Snarf decided to set himself reasonable initial goals. No sense in quenching his burning passion before he'd yet fully begun on this quest for freedom and infamy. Tossing hobbits into active volcanoes was a time-honored orcish pastime, which brought a fair amount of respect to those who succeeded--that seemed a good place to start.

So, armed with nothing but his outsized ambition and a disgusting length of sticky, spider-silk wrought rope that had been handed down through his subjugated family for generations, Snarf took his place amongst the heroic crowd of goblins.

"I think I can," he muttered to himself in a sniveling voice as he surveyed the mountain, the bad-tempered lava snakes, and the terrified hoppits. "I think I can, I think I can."

[Moriel]

The minions gathered, the snakes raged, the hobbits wailed and gnashed their teeth... all in a day's work! Orodruin gives a renewed and mighty belch as though to indicate the start of the games, spattering lava in all directions. Who would be the first to toss a hoppit into its fiery depths? Or would the tables be turned?

The Factions:

Minons
Snarf (Thalionwen)
Rakhash (Sil)

Lava Snakes
Phoebe (Nerwen)
Gazorpazorp (Gwai)
Jormungandr (Frost)
Blinky (Tarawen)
Sssssssss (Alma)

Hobbits
Dodo Proudfoot (Ducky)

For your next posts you need to still RP whatever it was that you were doing but at the end of your post, ask for an A, B, C, or D roll for each character. Each letter will correspond to either living, dying, getting injured, or becoming lost/missing in action. You will then RP what the dice say.

Should your character get a death roll, you then RP their death, but at the end of your post you may RP the creation of another character and ask for a roll for that character - the choice is up to you! You may also attempt to write a spectacular resurrection but whether or not it succeeds will depend on how much you impress me. If you get an MIA roll, you may still RP that round explaining how you managed to wander off, but may not request a roll until after the next update.

Advantage this round goes to Snarf (@Thalionwen ) for blind ambition.


REMEMBER:
Anyone may join at any time! Just post a new character and a dice roll, A, B, C or D!

[Fairy Nuff]

Pansy Greenbottom, a hobbit

Pansy clutched her frying pan in both hands, on high alert. All around her she could hear slithering and other very disturbing sounds, and her heart was pounding in her ears. She had no idea how she had got herself into this situation, for she surely would never have come here voluntarily. The last thing she remembered was being bought several pints by a generous stranger in the Prancing Pony, she had had a wonderful night and hadn't needed to get out her coin once, for the drinks kept flowing until she would have happily gone along with any mad idea...oh...perhaps that was what started this. She desperately wanted to see a friendly face, or even one of those loathsome Sackville-Baggins, but she felt so very out of place and alone. And in danger...she raised the frying pan a little higher.

D roll please

[Elarith]

Snivlack

Snivlak paused to catch his breath, wiping his dripping nose on a handkerchief with a grubby red heart embroidered on the corner. He hastily stuffed it into a pocket before any other orc spotted it. Stunted and wiry, Snivlak compensated for his scrawniness by lugging around the longest, heaviest pole-axe he could manage. It meant he was never the quickest to get anywhere, and often missed out on the action, but this time there looked like there was plenty of opportunity for him to stick a hairy-footed fiend and hurl it into a seething volcano.

Dragging his beloved pole-axe behind him, with much grunting and panting, Snivlak hurried towards the hobbits.

Roll C please

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot, a Hobbit

OOOAARRRPPPPPP

"Excuse me, fellas," Dodo said with a giggle. The miserable surroundings had dampened his mood not a whit. "Just that the roast pork was truly delightful. You can tell my stomach partikerlly agreed with it. My props to the chef." He glanced around himself.

"Seriously though, you might have to pass on the props for me if things are going the way I expect. I may be a bit slow, but I ain't slow in the head, iffen you see what I mean. I know you're meanin' ta bring me back from where there ain't no returning." He nodded up at the belching mountain. He contemplated for a moment before continuing, then sighed. "Leastways I had a good last meal, guh-yhuck." He giggled again. The color, which had briefly receded from his face, returned in full force.

"Ah, what am I saying," he laughed, his portly belly shaking, much like the ground beneath everyone's feet. "Who knows what will happen, right boys? He winked at Snivlak. I may not be spry, but at least I'm full!"

He stopped and pondered again. That actually, upon reflection, didn't seem like a helpful thing, although it did seem like a great positive. Maybe he should run? He looked down at his feet. He couldn't see them past his tummy. Nah, no running for him.

B Roll please!

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, Disgraced Lava Snake

Jormungandr had had enough of these little weirdos with their weird feet and their weird colorful outfits messing with his yard. It was bad enough the minions and their onion breath trounced through his little rock garden on almost a daily basis and that his home mountain had chosen this morning to have a belly ache, did he now have to endure these overgrown children things screaming something about "help me" and "save me" and "where are the po-tay-toes?" No! He wouldn't stand for it. The next time one of them came by he was going to bite them. He still had enough spring in his coils and enough fire in his fangs to get the job done. A single bite from him and they'll be ready for the jerky farms on the other side of the volcano. MMMMMM, jerky sounded really good right about now

Roll D, por favor

[Zôrzimril]

Blinky the Lava Snake

To Blinky's relief, the noises were not Regdush returned to drag him off into captivity. He did spy a horde of small . . . people? (he wasn't sure; he'd never seen any) and some orcs charging up the mountain. It appeared that the orcs were wrangling and herding the little hairy-footed beings up toward the lava. Ah, the lovely lava. Surely, they would all burn. But if they upset his rock garden on their way to the volcano's mouth . . . well, he'd make them pay.

Blinky slithered into his hole and emerged with a particularly sharp rock, which he'd been filing into a weapon to supplement his vicious fangs, should the need arise to defend his land. This seemed like an appropriate time to bring it out. He grasped it with his tail and practiced his attack - jab, poke, slash, stab! Disemboweling would be an excellent supplement to his poisonous venom.

A roll, please.

[Silky Gooseness]

Rakhash, Team Minion

Ouch ouch. Tough though his little footpads might be, the ground was hot here. Rakhash could feel himself frying. He attempted to console himself with visions of fried hoppit with onions, but the amount of effort required to get to that point just seemed monumental. Why hadn’t he brought more hoppit bait? He rootled around in his pack: there was his emergency spice rack, yes, and - wait, was that a bag of Kistrel’s flour? Perhaps he could whip up some cookies - it was certainly hot enough around here - and this might draw in some hoppits.

D Roll

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Snarf the Snaga, Minion

The overwhelming smell of sulfur and scorching of the earth beneath Snarf's feet sent him into a state of sublime ecstasy. Here he stood on the threshold of his own destiny, with only a few hoppits, a live volcano, and a few slithery snakes between him and greatness. Snarf narrowed his eyes at the waiting hoppits. The big male hoppit looked slow and foolish--there would be little glory in sealing his fate. He looked liable to trip and fall right into the volcano, without any outside help.

But that fiesty little female hoppit wielding the frying pan--she looked like a challenge worthy of a snaga born with a higher calling. Clutching his rope tight, Snarf narrowed his eyes at Pansy Greenbottom and squared his thin, uneven shoulders.

"Today," he reminded himself, "is the first day of the rest of your life. Carpe Diem and Carpe Hoppit, Snarf!!!!!!"

A and C Rolls, Please and Thank You

[Gwai]

Gazaorpazorp the Lava Snake

Zorp slithered in a circle a few more times as his chronic vertigo acted up, but he did manage to see much too many minions, as well as a couple of small funny looking minions he overheard called "hoppits" begin to troop by his front door. Zorp hissed, annoyed, and worried they would destroy his succulent garden with their big hairy feet. Feet, he laughed to himself. Slithering is clearly so much better.

Drawing his attention back to the matter at hand, or, well, whatever, belly he supposed, Zorp slithered to the edge of what he considered his property, looking for a nice leg to bite down on with his teeth which he had been keeping sharp just for an occasion such as this. He only had one or two mis-starts as his vertigo made him miss the path he was aiming for.

B Roll Please!

[Almarëa Mordollwen]

Sssssssss, a lava snake

Slipping their head out of the hole, the first thing Sssssssss noticed was the unreasonably large number of hoppits and orcs swarming the mountain. The second thing was the pool of lava growing larger and larger next to their home, which in a few moments would probably swallow it up completely. Sssssssss shrank away from the encroaching lava and slithered towards one of the invading hoppits. This could not be borne. The mountain was for the sssnakes! The hoppits must fall. Preferably as Lucifer fell, in flames. Preferably with Sssssssss's teeth marks on their little hoppity necks. They would pay the price for stumbling into Sssssssss's territory and disturbing the mountain!

Sssssssss slithered closer to one unsuspecting hoppit, silent and sure ...


A roll please!

[Moriel]

The Factions:

Minons
Snarf (Thalionwen) - A Roll - You Live! Lucky you. Keep going!
Rakhash (Sil) - D Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You may RP your conundrum but not roll again until the next round.
Snivlak (Elarith) - C Roll - DIE. Your long, heavy poleaxe has become trapped in a lava flow and dragged you with it to an untimely doom. You must RP your death, and may either start again with a new character, or write a highly entertaining resurrection.

Lava Snakes
Phoebe (Nerwen) - no roll
Gazorpazorp (Gwai) - B Roll - You have been injured! Your unfortunate vertigo has caused you to wander straight into the path of a large foot, which promptly steps on you.
Jormungandr (Frost) - D Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You may RP your conundrum but not roll again until the next round.
Blinky (Tarawen) - A Roll - You Live! Keep going!
Sssssssss (Alma) - A Roll - You Live! Keep going!

Hobbits
Dodo Proudfoot (Ducky) - B Roll - You have been injured! By virtue of your own gluttony. You have managed to eat far too much (even for a hobbit) and must deal with the consequences in your next post.
Pansy Greenbottom (Fairy) - D Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You may RP your conundrum but not roll again until the next round.

Advantage goes to Blinky (@Tarawen) for creative use of tools.

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

Phoebe the Lava Snake

She had finally made it outside where the pandemonium continued. This was not ideal hangover curing circumstances, where was the peace and quiet? Where were the Bloody Marys and meaty sandwiches? Her stomach heaved and she momentarily rested her head on the hot ground, trying to get her bearings and think about what to do next. As she was lying with her eyes closed, Phoebe caught a whiff of burning hair. She cracked an eye and saw a toe nail right in front of her. The nail was attached to a foot, which seemed to be covered in carpet. Her tongue flicked out. Ugh! Cheesy carpet Morgoth! She recoiled and felt a sizzle as her tail dipped into lava which was starting to ooze past. What was this madness? There was lava everywhere and Hobbits running around, had Mordor decided to have a party and not invite her?


A roll

[Gwai]

Gazorpazorp the Vertiginous Lava Snake

Poor Zorp's head was spinning so much from his chronic vertigo, especially as he had accidentally skipped a dose or two of his medication, that he slithered right under the hairy foot of a rather fat creature, probably one of those hoppits he kept hearing so much about. "Sssouchsss!" he hissed, wishing he had hands to grab his throbbing tail. Or teeth in his tail, that would be even better. He'd heard scorpions can sting with their tail, that would have been amazing right there. Really would have stuck it to the, er, hoppit. He turned his head to look at his tail, and immediately regretted it as he got even more dizzy. He plopped down on the ground and took a minute. Did this have anything to do with his life decisions? Should he have looked into a more productive career field, such as being an assassin, or a professional lava snake racing instead of amateur, something with an endorsement deal? Or better yet, a pet for somebody really, really rich, like the Witch King?

(Not sure if I get a roll, but if so, B Roll please)

[Silky Gooseness]

Rakhash was all alone. This was pretty typical for Rakhash. Despite being one of a thousand lowly insects, part of the great horde of Mordor, being chin to jowl to armpit with dozens of other stinking wretched every day, nobody really GOT Rakhash. And that was ok. He couldn’t expect perverted beasts like his fellow orcs to comprehend the complexity of his thirsty soul. But actually, being alone right now was quite a literal thing, because apparently, Rakhash had once again gone the wrong way. Look, it’s hard to navigate in Mordor. Ash, ash, ash, and the stars are veiled.

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, Disgraced and Confused Lava Snake

Well this was certainly a development. Jormungandr and slithered all this way out of his rock garden, ready to face down all the stupid hobbit things and the minions ruining his day when... well no one showed up. Had he gotten the trajectory wrong? He wasn't a mathematician. What is a math anyway? This was doing the poor snek a confuse. Where were the hobbits? Where were those heckin orcs? Maybe they all went home after all. Maybe Jormungandr had done them a good frighten and they had run away. Yes. That must have been it. He was proud of himself. He was not often proud of himself. He was often doing himself a bamboozle and getting tied into knots. Those were not easy to get out of. In his racing days, he would never have gotten himself twisted into a knot like that. It was embarrassing. Well, time to go back home. He was confident that he had scared all the heckin boys that had been doing him a concern and nap time was close. Maybe he could find a rat on the way back home. His little snek belly was empty.

[Fairy Nuff]

Pansy Greenbottom, a Hobbit

With her heart pounding in her ears it was hard to think straight, let alone walk straight. Not that she knew where she was going or how to get there, and particularly worrying was the thought that she didn't know what to expect when she arrived. Perhaps it was this thought in her subconscious that caused her to keep taking left turn after left turn in an ever decreasing spiral until she reached a dead end, completely surrounded by high walls of rock except for the way she had come. She was tired by then, and there was ash in her hair, and her feet hurt because the ground was hot, and she was lost and scared. She leaned the frying pan against the rock wall and slumped down next to it for a rest. Maybe with a clearer head she could find somewhere safer, or at least cooler.

No roll/pass

[Elarith]

Snivlak

The other orcs shoved past Snivlak, rushing towards the besieged hobbits. He aimed a kick at a couple, but they laughed as he missed, and carried on their loping runs. Panting, Snivlak hurled all his puny strength into pulling his pole-axe across the treacherous ground. He was getting close! He could almost count the toe-hairs on the nearest hobbit!

All of a sudden he was brought up short. The pole-axe refused to budge. Snivlak tugged again, then looked back to see what it was caught on. Oh dear. A fresh lava flow had oozed across the pole-axe head's path and it was melting into it. "Doris!" the orc howled in anguish. He pulled for all his measly worth as Doris the pole-axe, the only thing he had ever vaguely liked let alone loved, began to turn into a puddle. The lava flow widened around it, and he leapt on to the handle that was being steadily digested by the molten rock. "Doris!" he whimpered, clinging on.

The lava became a river. It was too wide now for Snivlak to leap to safely, even if he could abandon Doris at the last. His life flashed before his eyes. It was really boring. And then, with a smell of burning hair and roasted flesh, it was over.

[Zôrzimril]

Blinky the Lava Snek

Blinky was practicing his parries and thrusts when a large, hairy foot stomped just in front of him. His whole body tautened and shook as if he'd been hit with lightning. Fortunately, he wasn't dead yet. The foot lifted as an angry orc-voice shouted at the owner of the hairy foot. But his rocks! His precious, perfect rocks! They lay in disorder where they'd been arranged in an ideal curly obstacle course just moments ago.

"SSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" he spat, eyes wide with rage. He waved his small stabby rock in the air in a visible threat to any who might trod on his rocks. No one seemed to notice or care. Great blobs of lava were now raining down around them. The lava didn't trouble him for his own safety, of course, but he WAS concerned that his rocks would melt and his comfy home of a hole would be destroyed. He spied an orc foot stomping around nearby while another (Snivlak) sank beneath the lava. They were going to destroy his hard-won property and freedom! Blinky opened his mouth wide, exposing his great fangs. "SS!" he cried, and he sank them into the foot that had appeared nearby, all while stabbing at its leg with the sharp rock.

A and B rolls please!

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot the Hobbit

BLEEECCCCHHHHH

This time it was a bit more than a burp. He had thought it was going to be a burp, but he shouldn't have trusted it. Up came the roiling acid of inevitability and pain, scorching his throat and burning the back of his tongue.
He had never hurled a projectile so far in his life, to be honest. It might have been worthy of a prize, in a different context. Here, it just identified him as a weakened target. The color was awful. It was some sort of yellow-tan slop, still chunky. Liquid sprayed around the heavier bits, so bright as to be almost white. He couldn't breathe. The stream was near-continuous. He thought he even saw a live crawfish, but perhaps the wriggling was an illusion caused by the gush of watery goop behind it. Certainly he hadn't chewed it enough.

He had a moment of ingenuity pierce his hazed brain in the midst of this horror. Perhaps he could use the contents of his stomach to create a mini-moat around himself for protection? He swung his head around, the movement provoking another wash of indescribable filth to exit his mouth. Yes, that little trench there. It could be mostly filled with last night's appetizers. And that depression there, covered in the remains of dessert.
Surely nothing, not orc, nor snake, nor the Dark Lord himself, would venture anywhere near the sizzling piles of putrescence that now surrounded Dodo. He himself could not stand it. Literally, he collapsed. He was, for the moment, incapacitated and helpless. But not yet dead.

C Roll please!

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Snarf the Snaga, Minion

The female hoppit, Pansy, had somehow managed to...vanish? She'd wandered off in the wrong direction and Snarf had lost sight of her entirely. But during Snarf's confusion the male hoppit had done something truly disgusting and unmentionable, at least by the standards of Snarf's refined and upwardly-mobile Snaga family. The idea of getting near enough to grab him when he'd been unfortunately overtaken by a bout of TRULY UPSETTING AND REVOLTING MOUTH STUFF, REALLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL? was more than Snarf could bear. So Snarf came up with a new plan.

Grasping his precious rope, the birthright of his people, Snarf crept up behind a lava snake. Blinky looked vicious and sprightly, which was just what Snarf wanted. Fashioning his rope into a lasso, he hurled it at the unsuspecting snake. If all went according to plan, he'd soon be able to toss the snake at Dodo the Disgusting and once the vile creature was fully subdued, use his trusty rope to haul the hoppit to the lip of the volcano and shove his nasty coprse in.

C Roll, Please!

[Moriel]

The Factions:

Minons
Snarf (Thalionwen) - C Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You may RP your conundrum but not roll again until the next round.
Rakhash (Sil) - You may now roll again!
Snivlak (Elarith) - Aww poor Doris. Rejoin if you wish!

Lava Snakes
Phoebe (Nerwen) - A Roll - You have been injured! The cheesy carpet seems to have upset your stomach, and you must deal with the consequences in your next post. Is that foot hair in your mouth? Ew.
Gazorpazorp (Gwai) - B Roll - You Live! Keep going!
Jormungandr (Frost) - You may now roll again!
Blinky (Tarawen) - B Roll - You live! Keep going!
Sssssssss (Alma) - no roll

Hobbits
Dodo Proudfoot (Ducky) - C Roll - You would have wandered off in the wrong direction, except that you’re getting the advantage this round. Your advantage in this situation is that you get to roll instead of missing a turn.
Pansy Greenbottom (Fairy) - You may now roll again!

Advantage goes to Dodo (@KingODuckingham) , congratulations on how disgusting you are.

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, Disgraced Lava Snake

What? How was this possible? Were there two groups of orcs and hobbits running around the mountain? What was this, some kind of relay race? Why was it suddenly his responsibility to get rid of them all? What was going on? Jormungandr was getting too old for this shire. He had just wanted to spend the rest of his days in peace, well relative peace given that he lived on the slopes of an active volcano. Still, after his racing days ended in disaster (Sil would never forgive him for the noodle incident), was it so much to ask that people not run over his lawn? That does it. If another hobbit or rat faced orc came near he was going to eat them, even if it killed him.

C Roll, please

[Silky Gooseness]

Rakhash sniffed at the air, his abnormally wide nostrils stretching to the size of golf balls before returning to their normal state, due to his exceptionally supple and elastic skin. It took work to be so stretchy, what with the dry climate in Mordor; but worth it: Rakhash had caught the unmistakeable scent of hobbit vomit.

And where there’s hobbit vomit... there’s a sickly hobbit nearby.

Rakhash headed towards the cheesy scent.

D roll

[Elarith]

Ghost of Snivlak

As the bubbling lava seared the flesh from his bones, Snivlak's spirit left its orcish body. The fumes and fog rolled back, and all turned to... no, wait, he was still on the lava fields. He looked down at his body and could see the stony ground through his limbs. He bent down to pick up a rock but his translucent claws could find no purchase. Now he couldn't even throw rocks at those vile hobbits! He let out an eerie wail. He'd had a miserable life even by Orc standards and it looked like he was going to have a miserable after-life too.

In his despair, Snivlak spotted something out of the corner of his eye and turned towards it. He bit back a sob. Doris! Or at least the ghost of Doris. He ran to it and found his ghostly talons could grasp her grey handle. Now the hobbits would fear him! Howling his battle cry, Snivlak began hauling his pole-axe in the direction of the Shire-folk. One thing had not changed with death - Doris was still as heavy as a mountain troll.

Roll D please

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Snarf the Snaga, Minion

Having successfully lassoed Blinky the lava snake, Snarf launched the flaming creature at Dodo Proudfoot, the truly disgusting hoppit. But the force of his mighty throw threw him off-balance, and before he could see if his aim was true, he went tumbling down a steep incline!

At the bottom of the slope, Snarf frantically felt around himself to ensure his precious rope had made the journey with him. Upon ensuring it had, he blew on his scraped palms and skinned knees. Well, this was a setback he hadn't anticipated. But the road to greatness never did run smooth, or something like that! Snarf picked himself up, straightened his skinny shoulders, and set back up the rocky hill, intent on rejoining the fray.

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

Phoebe, chewing

Ouuuuuch and yeeeuuuuch is what she would have said, if she were not a lava snake. Instead, as the cheesy carpet hit her tail and she whipped around to bite the offending being, Phoebe was hissing and spitting with all her might. Unfortunately her vomit instinct didn't kick in quite as quickly as her bite reflex did and she was already closing fangs around the offending appendage before she realised what she might be biting into. Her tongue tasted and smelt it, it was musty, it was deep, it was sticky! As quickly as snakely possible, she unwrapped herself from the hairy foot and ankle, and huddled away under a bit of volcanic rock, heaving slightly and feeling much the worse for wear.

[Zôrzimril]

Blinky the Lava Snake

He had no sooner done away with that icky orc foot than he felt a great TUG on his neck. "sss- ss- !" Blinky choked. His unblinking eyes bulged as his windpipe was throttled. But in a moment, the choking was over. He was sailing up, up, up - had he been snatched up by that foul buzzard again?!

He twisted and wriggled in midair to try to figure out what had happened. A tiny figure (Snarf) was tumbling down the slopes of his beloved lava-producing mountain; it seemed to have been he who'd lassoed Blinky. Other snakes were hissing and biting as orcses and those tiny creatures struggled, belched, and flailed about. What was happening? Was he caught up in some great battle? All he'd wanted to do today was get in a couple good runs through his obstacle course. Flying through the air was NOT in the cards.

Fortunately, he still had his sharp little rock. He was hurtling straight at a truly smelly creature thing (Dodo Proudfoot) who seemed to be spewing his guts all over the mountain. "SSSSSSSSSS!" (tr: "Get your vom off my lawn!") Blinky screamed. He opened his jaw and prepared to stab out the nasty creature's eyes . . .

C roll!

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot the Hobbit

It turned out that moat of filth was no dissuasion against the forces of Mordor. They themselves were already horribly filthy. Perhaps he would have been better off planting a lovely garden? Perhaps that only would have made them angrier. Perhaps there was no escape from this fate, this one doom.

The goblin Snarf had been extraordinarily clever, thinking outside the box Dodo had placed himself in. A lassoed lava snake was no joke, and likely to be very angry...and headed straight for his spot! He had to think fast, or he was snake chow soon. It was hissing at him loudly and furiously, and while Dodo couldn't understand snake-speak, he imagined it was something like "You are very yummy and you are going straight into my belly!" And yet, he had trapped himself in his own moat. There was no way a ponderous hobbit like himself was going to be able to leap over his own canyons of vomit.

He looked down at his hairy feet sadly, thinking about what might have been if he had lived differently.

Wait, he looked down at his hairy feet. HE COULD SEE HIS FEET. So much throw-up had been thrown up that his belly had deflated enough to see his feet. Which meant...maybe he could in fact make the leap! Nothing to do but try!

A Roll please!

[Gwai]

Gazorpazorp the Lava Snake

Zorp took a seat in his rock garden, tail still throbbing, and took a minute. What was going on today? Usually the side of an active volcano was a good place to ensure privacy, but today, not so much. He twitched his tongue sadly. There was way too many Minions and hoppits about. An odd smell drifted his way, and he flicked his tongue again, tasting the wind. Was that vomit? A lot of vomit? He slithered toward the smell, and saw his neighbor Blinky was there cornering a small odd looking creature (Dodo), and yelling something about getting off his lawn. Zorp took a minute to decide. Should he help Blinky? Or go back to his hidey hole and mind his own business? With how annoying everything was today, worse than that one time young lava snakes had terrorized the neighborhood by TP'ing the rock gardens, Zorp decided he was all for getting rid of the annoyances. Plus, if he didn't help, well, that was the kind of thing that would get back to the home owner's association, and he was in good standing as the treasurer. "Psssss Psss Pssssssss" (I'm coming if you need help!) he hissed toward Blinky, although he wasn't sure his fellow lava snake would actually need his help, as Blinky was a competent lava snake who could probably dispatch a hoppit on his own, especially one of those particular, er, dimensions.

C Roll please!

[Moriel]

The Factions:

Minons
Snarf (Thalionwen) - You may now roll again!
Rakhash (Sil) - D Roll - DIE. You golf ball sized nostrils have had the unfortunate side effect of serving as coal-catchers for the spew from the mountain. You die a horrible death of being burned from the inside of your nose! After you RP you demise, you may start again with a new character or a creative resurrection.
Snivlak (Elarith) - D Roll - DIE. Even as a ghost, you don't have any luck. Doris the Extremely Heavy is so heavy that she slings your ghostly form back into the lava! You know the drill.

Lava Snakes
Phoebe (Nerwen) - no roll
Gazorpazorp (Gwai) - C Roll - You have been injured! As Blinky lashes out at Dodo with his sharp little rock, he hits you instead.
Jormungandr (Frost) - C Roll - You have been injured! Attacking the next orc that came near you didn't quite kill you, but it does try to eat you right back.
Blinky (Tarawen) - C Roll - You have been injured! Your trajectory is completely wrong and instead of biting Dodo or stabbing out his eyes, you bite a large rock that looks remarkably like a hobbit. (see also Gazorpazorp's prompt)
Sssssssss (Alma) - no roll

Hobbits
Dodo Proudfoot (Ducky) - A Roll - You live! keep going!
Pansy Greenbottom (Fairy) - no roll

Advantage goes to Gazorpazorp (@Gwai), for fascinating insight into the neighborhood life of Lava Snakes.


CLARIFICATION FOR ALL: In case you hadn't realized, you do get to roll if you're injured. The only time you don't get to roll again is if you wander off! Even if you DIE, you may reenter with a roll right away after RPing your death.

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot, a Hobbit

Hoho, haha, heehee! The lava snakes, in their zeal, had lashed out and only hurt one another. Dodo was free, so free! He pulled from his deep pockets a little green hat to celebrate. It had a little bell on top so that he made a tinkling noise as he skipped around, laughing in the face of danger, for it had proven itself completely incompetent.

"Teehee, ohoho!" he shouted merrily, as he blew a wet raspberry sound in the goblins' directions. He watched them die with a huge grin on his face. Look at that one whose nose appeared to be internally combusting or melting or something. What a sight, hoho, haha!

He began to whistle a sing-song tune as he hopped from one foot to the other, doing a little twirl. He thumbed his nose at Snarf. "Get a bit lost there trying to wrassle a snakey, orcy?" he asked rudely. He pulled his mouth as wide as possible into a ludicrous grin and stuck his tongue out as far as it would go.

"You'll never catch me, I'm like a bird, even an eagle. Watch as I fly away!" he called, and began to flutter-step his way through the pits of lava. His Proudfeet felt very proud at the moment.

B Roll please!

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, Disgraced and Partially Consumed Lava Snake

What the? No! Get back! Jormungandr couldn’t believe it. He was really off his game now. He had tried bite the orc that came blasting past him but somehow his math had been wrong and instead of landing on the orc’s shoulders, wrapping around him and squeezing the life out of him, he landing on their back and lost his balance. He fell in the half molten stone and before he had a chance to decide whether or not he was going to attack again, the orc was attacking him! The nerve of these minions nowadays. Didn’t they know it was they would were to be eaten, not the lava snakes?! This was an outrage and he was going to… nope. Run! Run! This orc was hungry. He grabbed Jormungandr by the tale and began swinging him around as if he was nothing more than a piece of rope. The old lava snake couldn’t move, the gravitational forces pressing on his cylindrical frame completely paralyzed him. Suddenly, he was flying through the air. At one point in his life, Jormungandr might have enjoyed this kind of flight but now it just made him sick. He landed with a hard slam. He could feel his snake bones pop and bend. It did not feel good. A hand grabbed him again, the same damn orc that threw him was now.. oh no! No! Ow! Stupid that! Put me.. close your mouth! Don’t you dare try to… OW! The orc bit down on Jormungandr’s midsection and tore off a big meaty chunk. In response, purely by instinct rather than a motivation for revenge, he curled around and bit the orc’s arm as hard as he could. If he was going down, he was taking this orc with him!

A Roll, please

[Zôrzimril]

Blinky, A Snake of Lava

As he sailed through the air, Blinky caught sight of his neighbor (Zorp) slithering along and offering to help, if needed. He turned his head to call, "SSSS! Sssss sss!" (tr.: "Thanks, neighbor! Let's kill them all!")

This momentary loss of focus had a severe negative consequence. Blinky sailed straight for the ground, instead of toward his intended vomity target (Dodo). In a last-ditch effort to do at least some damage to the vommy one, he stretched out his tail and, with a whip-like motion, attempted to stab his leg.

Not only did he miss the gross one and accidentally stab Zorp ("Ssss!!" [tr.: "Sorry!!"]), but he also crashed into a rock that merely looked like his intended target. Hobbits! That's what they were called. His jaws, which had been open wide to bite the hobbit who had defiled his land, closed instead on hard, unyielding rock. A great "SSsssth!" (tr.: "Ah Fredegar, that hurts!") escaped his mouth as one of his fangs cracked. Still clutching his stabby rock, he waved it in the air and screamed, "Ssss SSS Ssss ssSSSSsss!" (tr.: "You live - for now!") at the now happily skipping hobbit.

A roll, please

[Gwai]

Gazorpazorp, the Vertiginous Lava Snake

This is what happened when you tried to be neighborly. Zorp was slithering toward Blinky and the vomit encrusted hoppit, but Blinky ended up stabbing Zorp in the tail with a sharp rock, right where Zorp had been stepped on a few minutes before. "Psssssssss!!!!" (Owwwwwww!) Zorp howled, twisting back to look at his poor tail, taken aback by the black blood oozing out of the wound. Zorp always felt dizzy, but now he was about to pass out. He couldn't stop looking at the small puddle of blood. While it probably wasn't actually that much blood, he felt himself about to lose consciousness. He wished he could lie down, but he was already on his belly, as normal, so there wasn't much help there. He instead flipped over onto his back, hoping he would be able to flip back over, and stuck his injured tail in the air, taking deep breaths. That was better, it was helping. He closed his eyes to ignore the puddle of black blood that had pooled, and tried to go to his happy place--a beautiful, lava spewing mountain, with lovely lava rocks all around, the smell of sulfur on the air.

A&B Rolls please

[Silky Gooseness]

Rakhash: Death Scene

sniff
Sniff sniff sniff
aAAAAaAAAARGGgglglglgrrhhhh

...was what you might have heard had you been in Rakhash’s vicinity as he inhaled the fatal coals that put an end to his hobbit-catching career. His end was peculiar, but fitting; instead of roasting a hobbit he was roasted from within, as the clumps of red hot lava choked him in the most gruesome fashion. As goblins are ten a penny (what IS the minion currency? Teeth?), he shall not be greatly missed, but instead immediately replaced by Karkrash, his first cousin, who is indeed just as clumsy and thus well named.

D roll again cos if at first you don’t succeed just keep doing the thing that kept failing

[Almarëa Mordollwen]

Sssssssss, a lava snake

Somehow silly hoppits and savage orcses had not got the message: they were still swarming the mountain! Sssssssss was slithering about in circles, trying to stay away from the lava, but the hoppits and orcses were just too determined, and they were trampling on the lovely rocks and the mountain was clearly quite right to be upset, and one of the hoppits was even singing! singing! about how he was an eagle and this was all so terribly upsetting that Sssssssss lost track of what was going on for a moment and when they returned to reality things had gotten no better, in fact they had gotten worse.

Singing! Well, if the hoppit wanted singing, Sssssssss would give it singing. The bards would sing, one day, of fangs and a snake, forced by fate and a mountain’s unrelenting turbulence, to long labours - and those labours started with biting this nasty little hoppit (Dodo) right in the foot … at least, if Sssssssss could get close enough …

D roll, please

[Elarith]

Ghost of Snivlak

Gritting his ghostly teeth, Snivlak pulled Doris up the treacherous slope towards the hobbits. He was dying to see what effect a corporeal pole-axe would have on one.

Literally, as it turned out. Pausing for breath - did ghost-lungs even need it? - Snivlak held Doris' haft a little too long. He dropped the handle right across his toes. Shrieking, he bent to lift her weight off, but couldn't raise it. Looking up the volcano, the inevitable lava stream was making its way towards him, and fast. Could he die again?

Yes, he could.

[Moriel]

Whoops, sorry for being late. Wait a minute, I'm a minion, I'm not sorry! Let chaos reign!!


The Factions:

Minons
Snarf (Thalionwen) - no roll
Karkrash (Sil) - D Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You're getting the advantage though, so you still get a roll.
Snivlak (Elarith) - no roll

Lava Snakes
Phoebe (Nerwen) - no roll
Gazorpazorp (Gwai) - B Roll - You have been injured! Unfortunately as you lie on your back, little drops of acid rain start to scorch your sensitive underbelly.
Jormungandr (Frost) - A Roll - DIE. You... well, you've been eaten. RP your grisly demise, and you may then either start with a new character, or try for a creative resurrection.
Blinky (Tarawen) - A Roll - DIE. Your cracked fang has also punctured your venom gland and you are killed by your own natural weapon! RP your grisly demise, and you may then either start with a new character, or try for a creative resurrection.
Sssssssss (Alma) - D Roll - You have wandered off in the wrong direction/otherwise gone missing in action. You may RP your conundrum but not roll again until the next round.

Hobbits
Dodo Proudfoot (Ducky) - B Roll - You have been injured! Your flutter-step is ineffective and you burn one of your proud feet right off. Ouch.
Pansy Greenbottom (Fairy) - no roll

Advantage goes to Karkrash (@Sil), for a ridiculous name and the realities of orc life. You get one roll.


ATTN ALL: I realized I forgot to put in the OP how this game actually ends. We will wrap up after 7 rounds (this was round 4) and the winning team will be decided by a highly official process.

[KingODuckingham]

Dodo Proudfoot, a one-footed Hobbit

Dodo had been prancing a moment ago, dancing across the tops of lava pits by way of huge stones. Hippity hoppity, hobbits were not goblin property! But then he had chanced a look behind him, to make sure no snakes were chasing him down. He was running through their habitat, after all, and so they made him more nervous than the goblins at this point. Yet when he took his eyes off of the path ahead, he took a wrong step. Or a wrong prance, whatever.

His foot, instead of landing safe on a hot stone, landed deep in the lava. When he tried to pull it back out, his leg came back without the foot, because the lava sucked the flesh and blood off, right down to the bone, which itself snapped off against the rocks.

"Oh my Vala!" the poor hobbit yelled at the top of his lungs, but his lungs were too weak to produce all capital letters. The pain was unbearable. He collapsed to the ground, howling and holding his leg, but not too close to the burn point. The ankle had sealed off around the wound point, immediately cauterized by fire, so there was not much blood loss, but his stump was still fantastically hot, and he did not wish to melt his hands off as well, so he grasped his calf and howled to the skies.

"Someone off me now, I don't wanna live on this world anymore!" he cried pitifully, figuring SOMEone would answer the call. He began to sob, and the tears ran down his dirty cheeks in visible trails, like in a vacuum commercial. He curled up in a ball and refused to try to move any further.

A Roll please!

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

Phoebe, snaking!

The rest had hit the spot. In fact, dare she even think that the hangover was clearing. Within her immediate vicinity the cheesy carpets seemed to have moved away slightly but the lava was definitely flowing. Right next to her appeared to be a very weepy and sad hairy hobbit @KingODuckingham who was hopping around. Something was wrong with him, but not knowing very much about hobbit anatomy Phoebe couldn't work out if he had lost appendage or had too many. Either way she left him to his devices and went in search of some lunch.

B roll please

[Dungeon Delver]

Jormungandr, Disgraced Lava Snek/Orc

It didn’t matter how hard he bit down, the orc just bit harder. Chunks of him were being torn off, ripped free of his muscled frame and devoured by the savage beast. Jormungandr wrapped what little of himself there was left around the orc’s neck. Lava snakes were not constrictors but now was not the time to quibble over biology, not when his very existence was at stake. He squeezed and squeezed but none of it did any good. The orc’s teeth were brutal and merciless. Jormungandr could feel every bit of flesh being ripped from him, he could feel himself becoming less substantial. He was become more a ghost and less a lava snake. Pain flooded him as blood was lost, his entire sense of being was on fire, his self was burning away in a blacksmith furnace of indescribable agony. And he was forced to feel every bit of it until there was nothing left of him. Until the orc ripped the skeleton off his neck and picked at the odd bit of meat still on the bones. Poor Jormungandr was aware of everything.

But then that strange maxim came into effect: You are what you eat.

Somewhere, deep within the orc’s belly, a fire rose. Like magma pouring from the volcano around him something was pouring out of him. The orc crumpled to his knees. He could not tell what was happening to him. He had eaten the snake because he was hungry, because the thing had deigned to attack him. It was part of the social order here in the black lands. He tried to retch the thing up, but even if he had managed to do so, it would not have mattered. Even though he had no knowledge of semantics, he had fallen victim to it. There was a voice in the back of his head. “You are what you eat. You are what you eat. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!”

The voice grew so loud he couldn’t find himself anymore. He fell, disoriented and empty…

Then Jormungandr, formerly a lava snake, stood up and cracked his neck. He had some hobbits to hunt.

B Roll, please